Take Me As I Am
by Twidmo
Summary: Eleanor Elizabeth Cullen is a half-vampire/half-human hybrid, whose human mother was discovered by Carlisle before giving birth. Raised by the Cullens, Ellie nears maturity and begins to find her own way in the Cullens' world. Story begins slightly pre-twilight. (Updated Summary) Mostly Canon with all-Canon pairings. RATED MA For Mature Content, Language and Lemons!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1. Dreams.

My eyes flew open. It was morning. Actually, I thought to myself, by the look of the sun through the window, it was very late morning. Crap, I thought to myself. Why in the hell didn't anyone wake me up? I dressed and ran downstairs.

"Mom?"

"Yes Ellie, how are you feeling?"

I sighed, guessing immediately what prompted the question. And even if I hadn't, she wasn't quick enough hiding her thoughts. My brother Edward had told my parents about my dream the night before. They must have decided to keep me home today, I realized.

"Mom," I said with a whine that was befitting of the age that I had to pretend to be to humans. "I'm fine. Really. Tell Edward to mind his own business."

"You can tell him yourself," she replied with a smile in her voice. "They should be home soon." She shot a sad look at me, but shook it off quickly. My mother always worried when the subject of my birth came up – and unfortunately, from the time I was a small child, it had frequently been the subject of my dreams. She didn't like that idea that I might feel responsible for what happened to the woman who had such unfathomable bad luck as to get pregnant with me.

I rolled my eyes and headed toward the kitchen to grab a snack. "Dad at work?"

She nodded. "He should be home in a few hours, I don't think he had any procedures scheduled today."

Good, I thought with a smile, we can get an early jump on hunting tonight, which he and I did one night a week, every week, for as long as I've been allowed to go when I was about 9 months old. Of course at the time I looked like a four-year old.

I wasn't a _normal_ child. I was a hybrid, as my family called it, a half-human, half-vampire hybrid, to be exact. I was born to a human mother, who my adopted father Carlisle had found unceremoniously dumped in front of the Chicago hospital where he had taken a brief assignment.

The location of my birth at first seemed to be a strange coincidence to my family members. After all, it had been in a Chicago hospital where my father found Edward on his deathbed so many years before. However, when they realized that I shared my brother's ability to read minds, a coincidence seemed far less likely.

The idea of researching my birth mother (and father) had come up before, and I had always protested it. I felt guilty about refusing to learn more about her, but I the thought of what I had done to her made me ashamed and I couldn't face knowing who she was. It was cowardly, and I knew it. Despite my protests however, my psychic sister Alice had recently revealed to my parents that my birth mother was descended from Edward's older sister, who had run away when he was a very young child. As far as he could recall through his fuzzy human memories, his family had assumed that she died. While it made sense, and explained the similarities between Edward and me, I was in some ways appalled by the revelation.

Not long after Carlisle brought me home, my parents discovered that as a hybrid I grew alarming fast, and feared that my life would be terribly short. They began to research every myth and legend that might provide any glimmer of hope that this would not be the case. When I was about two, their research brought them upon another creature like me. The discovery of Nahuel, a male, who had been born over a century ago and hadn't aged since age seven and had three half-sisters, was a welcome relief to my parents and siblings. Not only was I not entirely unique but also my lifespan was expected to be the same as the rest of my adopted vampire family.

Now, over six years since my birth, my growth had finally slowed and I was allowed to attend school with my brothers and sisters. We had moved to a town called Forks a little over a year ago. My siblings joined the school mid-year when we arrived, but I started as a sophomore this past fall. My seventh birthday was coming up in May.

I shook my head, clearing my mind of my reverie and could hear my mother reciting the Declaration of Independence in her head. I took that as my cue to go for a stroll.

"I'm going out for a bit mom," I called as I headed toward the door. "I will be back before the others get home."

"Ok baby," she answered absently.

I walked out the back and headed toward the river. I liked to sit out when I needed to get little space. I loved my family, but that house could get crowded fast, especially with all of their thoughts constantly invading my mind. Leaning back against the rocks, I watched the water for a while, until I heard my father's calm thoughts and footsteps approaching.

"Hi Daddy," I said, jumping up to greet him.

"Hi sweetie." Carlisle gave me a hug and kissed my hair. "I was wondering if you started without me."

"Nah. Just giving Mom some space. I assume Edward told you about my dream last night?"

He nodded, his eyes creasing with concern.

"Yeah. You know how she gets when that happens. I told her I'm ok, and _yes_ Daddy I'm OK," I added, responding to the thought forming in his head. "Anyway, she was trying to keep me out of her head so I figured I would give her a little space. I don't want her to worry."

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, and we started walking along the river. "It's part of her job - and mine for that matter - to worry. I assume it was the same dream as before?" he asked.

"Yep. Same as ever."

"Did you sleep okay after?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes, acting every bit the belligerent teenager, and looked up at him. "Yes, Dad. I slept the whole freaking day! Mom didn't wake me for school or anything."

"Okay, okay. Just making sure," he said, chuckling at my irritation. _Are you ready to go?_

Yes! I thought to myself. We took off running through the woods. He was faster than me, but for a half-human I did a pretty good job keeping up. After we finished, we sat and talked by the river.

I loved our hunting nights. After we fed, we sat until it was dark. Carlisle would tell me about his day or his week if he'd been working several nights in a row. He would tell me stories from his vampire youth, stories about mom and my siblings. Eventually, when I was tired and leaning against his arm, we would head back toward home.

That night we got back to the house later than usual. Edward was playing at his piano, Alice and Jasper were reading on the couch. Mom was planning some changes to the house on Isle Esme (again). Em and Rose were in their room, thoroughly occupied. I cringed and struggled to banish the mental images from my brain as we got close to the house. Thankfully they decided to relocate when they realized I was back.

Remembering my earlier irritation with my brother, I stomped up the stairs toward Edward, yelling at him in my head the whole way up. _Edward! Seriously! Mind your damn business please! I don't go running to Mom over every stupid little thing in YOUR head! You upset her._

I glared at him while he laughed at my tirade, continuing to play. _Sorry kiddo. You okay though?_

"Yeah. And people can officially stop asking me that."

I sat down on the piano bench next to him. He started playing chopsticks and nudged me to play along. He had personally taught me and I was nearly as good as him now, but we'd been doing this since I was barely big enough to sit on the bench and reach the keys.

* * *

When I woke the next day, I was startled again, only this time it was because my sister Alice was staring at me, waiting for me to wake up.

"Oh good, you're up!" she chirped when my eyes opened. "Time to get you dressed!"

Aw crap. "Alice! I can dress myself!" I struggled uselessly against her grip as she got me off the couch and dragged me to her room. I ignored her chipper babbling while she dressed and prepped me for yet another thrilling day at Forks High School.

I escaped back to my own room to gather my things when Edward popped his head in to tell me everyone was ready to go. "I'm coming already, hold on a second." _Impatient vampires_, I thought, sticking my tongue out at him_._

He rolled his eyes and motioned for me to go first as we headed down the stairs. Dad hadn't left yet so I gave him a quick hug and kiss, and he passed me off to Mom for the same.

"Have a good day," she called after us.

The first part of school day progressed without incident, aside from rumblings about a new girl in the junior class. At lunch, I sat with my siblings, as always the only one eating food and doing my part to make the Cullen's look normal. Edward shot me a look in response to my internal musing. I rolled my eyes and threw a piece of hamburger roll at him. I got a look at the new girl as she came in with Jessica Stanley and her cluster of followers. Edward studied her carefully; doing his due diligence to make sure she didn't think anything was amiss with the mysterious Cullens. His expression was frustrated, and instinctively I focused on her as well, leaning on my extra sense.

Except, I couldn't hear anything. _Edward? Can you hear her? _He shook his head without even looking at me. _How completely bizarre, _I thought.

After lunch I had a study hall, which Alice decided to tag along to. The rest of the table dispersed to their various classes. It wasn't until we sat down and began "working" that I heard his thoughts. Edward was about to slaughter an entire classroom over one girl. I didn't understand what was happening, his thoughts were frantic, furious. The new girl sat beside him.

"Alice," I cried in a choked whisper, drawing her attention. She had been scanning Jasper's immediate future and hadn't noticed what Edward was about to do.

She froze as the vision hit her. We would be too late.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2. Changes.

A few months had passed since Edward returned to our home after leaving abruptly for Denali, running away from the human who turned his world entirely on its head. Bella had brought him unprecedented happiness, despite the looming questions of how Alice's vision of her future conflicted with his own. Bella had healed well from her injuries that resulted from the incident with James in Phoenix, and she and Edward found themselves consistently at odds over the question of her mortality.

It was late May now, and on the morning of my seventh birthday, I woke up to my parents' smiling faces.

"Happy birthday, baby!" Mom exclaimed as she hugged me so tight I could barely breathe. Dad claimed me next.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart." He kissed me on the forehead, holding me for several seconds before letting me go.

It was a school day, so they each gave me one more hug and kiss and then left me to get ready. I saw Nahuel at the bottom of the stairs as I rushed. My parents had invited him to visit, as he had done a few other times over the years. It was nice having him around, and we spent hours talking together in the evenings since he had arrived. When I saw him waiting for me, I stopped short, happy to see him standing there.

"Happy birthday," he said, kissing me on the cheek. "Before the festivities later, would you like to take a walk with me?"

I nodded, and stumbled a little toward the door. Alice grabbed me and practically shoved me into the car.

"Not a word, Alice," I said, glaring at my smug sister. She smirked and looked away.

We got to school as Bella arrived. She got out of her noisy truck and wished me a happy birthday. The school day passed slowly. It was pointless with the year ending in only a few days. I was thinking ahead to my walk with Nahuel. I'd grown very fond of him and was starting to hope that he would stay around for a while. I sat down in English class, which Bella and Edward were taking as well. I was hardly listening to the teacher, far too caught up in parsing Nahuel's request this morning until Edward nudged me to pay attention. He raised his eyebrow, smirking as I glared at him.

Bella looked over, confused. "It looks like Ellie and Nahuel have a little thing going," Edward told her.

Edward wasn't crazy about Nahuel because he was not the vegetarian type. He was worried about Bella coming to the house tonight.

_Edward, really, lighten up. Nahuel doesn't hunt anywhere near here; he's certainly not going to in my damn living room. If Daddy's not worried about it..._

He fumed. _I don't want to take that risk. But she's insisting, so we will be there. Just please ask him to stay back from her okay?_

I nodded rolling my eyes and turned my attention to the teacher. I had one more class to get through after English: gym. None of my siblings had gym with me, which was unfortunate because for a half vampire, gym class was excruciating. It started raining so we were running laps inside. I barely felt like I was walking. I picked up my pace a bit to get away from a senior kept getting up close behind me. I could see in his mind how he was staring at my ass as he ran, and the thoughts in his head were revolting. When class was finally dismissed I walked as quickly as I could toward the locker room to gather my belongings. I walked down the hall to my regular locker to get the rest of my stuff, aware that the boy, Mark, was still lurking. I figured Edward must have already left with Bella; otherwise he might have taken off this kid's head for the lewd thoughts in his head. I got to my locker and packed quickly but couldn't discreetly move away before the he had me cornered.

"Hey cutie. I heard it's your birthday. I've got something special for you," he whispered, leaning in close and grabbing my ass to pull me closer.

I put my hand against his shoulder, glaring at him. "You've got about half a second to get off of me before I make you," I snarled in my most threatening tone. He laughed. Jasper's thoughts rang out in my mind then, he had come looking for me and heard the altercation. He was rounding the corner. Now it was my turn to laugh.

"Oh dude you are so about to have a really bad afternoon."

Jasper grabbed him and pinned him against a locker, not saying a word.

"Jasper," I pleaded with my brother. "Let's just go, I'm fine."

Jazz glanced at me, obviously looking for signs of injury and turned his attention back to Mark. "You even look the wrong way at her again and I will know. I have half a mind not to let you walk out of here right now. You understand?"

He released Mark who scrambled off. Jasper's eyes were black with fury and it was a little terrifying even to me.

"You okay darling? I could have killed him."

"I'm fine. Can we just go please?"

Jazz grabbed my stuff and we walked out. Alice must have gone home ahead of them, but Rose and Emmett looked slightly murderous.

"Are you okay?" Rose cried, hugging me. "Carlisle is freaking out. Alice is trying to talk him out of meeting with the principal."

"You told DAD? Aw shit guys. He won't ever let me out of the house again. Does mom know too?"

They nodded. Crap, I thought; happy birthday to me.

Rose ushered me into Emmett's jeep. "Come one, it's still your birthday and we are going to have a lovely evening."

Unfortunately though, I had a feeling this was going to take precedence over my walk with Nahuel. I sighed and buckled my seat belt. As we got closer to the house, I could here Dad. His thoughts were raging; I don't think I've ever heard him so angry. He was arguing with someone on the phone.

_Oh god he really is talking to the principal. This just keeps getting worse._

"Are you honestly suggesting that I should rethink pressing charges because it would reflect badly on the school?" he fumed into the phone. "That decision is ultimately up to my daughter," and with that he hung up.

I came in quietly, wishing I could be invisible for a while. Mom got to me first. "Oh honey, are you alright? He didn't hurt you?"

"Mom. I could have taken his arm off and beat him with it. No he didn't hurt me."

I looked over at Dad, who was still seething. "Daddy, no police. Please. Jazz handled it, and frankly if he hadn't I would have."

He came over and hugged me. "Sorry sweetheart." He looked at me appraisingly. "Really though, you're ok?"

"Daddy, don't doctor me, please. I swear I am fine."

He sighed and hugged me again. _Ok. If you need to talk your mom and I are here, okay? I know you are strong and can handle yourself, but the thought of someone hurting you or forcing anything on you makes me crazy. I love you._

"Love you too Dad," I said as he released me.

"So," he said, his eyes brightening a bit, "are you ready for your birthday soirée this evening? Alice is kicking us out for a while I think."

"Oh lord. What on earth is she going to do?" I asked, laughing. "Actually, I think I want to step out for a few and regroup anyway, if that's okay."

I turned to my mom to hug her and walked toward the back of the house, slipping out the back door and sprinted toward the woods. Cool air blasted against my skin and calmed my nerves. I had nearly forgotten the walk I had originally planned with Nahuel earlier in the day, until I heard him nearby. I slowed as he approached.

"Hi," he said softly, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I'm sorry for not meeting you at the house, but it seemed right to give you some privacy with your family. I suppose you would rather me not ask if you are alright?"

"Hi," I breathed. "I'm much better now."

"I spoke with your father last night. I mentioned the possibility of extending my stay, if you would like." I turned to face him as he continued to speak. "I enjoy our time together very much. I realize that this may be ill timed what with what happened earlier, but I wanted to see if perhaps you felt the same."

My heart picked up, loudly, as I leaned closer to him. His embrace was warm, not something I was used to in a house fully of vampires. I was surprised at how pleasant it was.

"I would love for you to stay," I barely whispered, I didn't trust my voice. He leaned in and kissed me gently. I returned the kiss and he pulled me closer. He pulled his face back slightly and murmured, "Happy birthday," before returning his lips to mine.

_Sorry to interrupt. _I sighed irritably as I heard Edward's thoughts, signaling his approach. _Alice asked me to retrieve you._

I extricated myself from Nahuel's arms. "Edward is coming. Alice has summoned me." He laughed and grabbed my hand and we walked toward where Edward was waiting for us. _Edward, _I thought preemptively,_ do not ask. I am fine._

He held up his hands. _Okay, okay. I'm just sorry I wasn't there to take the creeps head off. _He glanced at Nahuel and me. _So. I take it he will be here a while?_

_Yes. _I thought back. _Be nice. Please._

_I will. Just be careful. _Then he spoke aloud, "Nahuel, I'm sorry I haven't had much of a chance to catch up. I hope all is well with you."

"It is, thank you Edward. I am grateful that your family is allowing me to stay. It is nice to spend time with another misfit," he said winking at me.

We approached the house and I immediately picked up more voices than I expected. "Wait, are the Denali's here too?" I asked excitedly.

Edward nodded, smiling. "You better get in there."

As I opened the door, everyone shouted "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

After what felt like hours later I had been passed around the room to everyone and buried under gifts. My sister went entirely over board, and I told her so. As she rolled her eyes at my protest I said, "But really Alice, thank you. I love it, even if it is way too much." She laughed and clapped.

My parents came up to me. "One last thing," Esme said. She held out a car key.

"Oh my god guys!" I cried. "Are you serious?"

Dad laughed. "Of course. Would you like to see it?"

We all filed out front, and waiting in the drive was a beautiful new A5 coupe.

"I love it, thank you so much!" I ran to hug my parents.

They hugged and kissed me on the head. "You are welcome," Dad said.

Mom added, "Please just be careful, ok?"

"So can I drive it?" Everyone laughed, my parents nodded.

I met Nahuel's eyes. "Would you like to come along?"

He smiled and opened the driver side door for me, then climbed in on the other side. I fiddled with the controls a bit and then slowly drove off, waving to my family.

"Did you know about this?" I asked him. "I can't believe they are just letting me drive."

"You're an adult, your father said as much to me."

"So," I said, "where to?"

"We don't have to go far, just pay attention and get a feel for the car."

"Ok DAD."

"Um no." He laughed and shook his head, fake shuddering a little. He put his hand over mine, and suddenly driving was the last thing on my mind. I kept going for a few miles before pulling off the road.

I turned to look at Nahuel. "Hi."

"Hi yourself."

_Oh my. That accent is killing_ me, I thought.

He leaned in and kissed me. He was still gentle, but a little more urgent this time. I heard him thinking, _I'm not going to rush you into anything, if I overstep, please tell me. _I kissed him harder in response. The car made it a little difficult for things to get to out of hand, and after a few minutes I heard him consider turning back. _Your family will be worried, probably about me more than the car._

I breathed a laugh, and suppressed a moan when he pulled away. "You're right of course. I don't need Dad to lose his shit again."

_Of course, _he thought, _maybe a couple more minutes wouldn't be so bad._

I nearly couldn't breathe as his lips overtook mine again. He pulled away again, too soon. Sighing, I started the car and turned toward home.

Nahuel watched me as I drove, not hiding his thoughts at all. "Um. Can you stop looking and thinking like that? I can't concentrate and I don't need Edward flipping out on me either." I realized that it was entirely unlikely that I would get any sleep at all that night.

A week passed, and finally we were at lunch for the last time this school year. I sat down with Edward and Bella at her friends' table. Edward glared at me as he caught me considering cutting the rest of the day to start my afternoon with Nahuel early. _Not going to happen El._

I aimed a kick at him under the table, which I immediately regretted. Bella noticed my wince.

"What'd I miss?" She asked.

"Edward is being a spoil sport." _As usual_, I thought and stuck my tongue at him.

"Ellie is being impetuous," Edward countered.

Bella raised an eyebrow at both of us, and laughed. "In a hurry to get home to Nahuel?" She shot Edward a pointed look that I didn't understand. When the bell rang, we dispersed and I trudged through the rest of the afternoon.

On my way to my last class, Edward appeared out of nowhere by my side. _As it happens, you are leaving early. That shithead Mark is planning to corner you again. Idiot. Jazz is waiting for you by your car, get in and go home. We don't want another scene and I sure as hell don't want that kid near you. _I went with him to the parking lot. Jazz was waiting inside my car. I got in and we took off.

"Can we not tell anyone this time since nothing happened," I pleaded. "Please?"

Jazz laughed darkly. "I think Edward's already talked to Carlisle. Sorry darling."

I huffed and sped toward home. Nahuel was waiting outside.

_Did he touch you again? Are you okay? If he put a finger on you I will kill him. Slowly._

"Nahuel, stop. Nothing happened, Edward heard it or Alice saw it or something and here I am." He pulled me to him, evidently not concerned with our audience. _Good._

I realized that it was just the three of us here. "Where's mom?"

"She went to the store, I think. She mentioned something about surprising your father for _lunch,_" said Nahuel.

"Oh well then she won't be back for a while," chuckled Jasper. "You kids don't have too much fun, I'm going for a hunt."

Nahuel nodded toward the door. _Shall we?_

I wasn't sorry that we had some time alone in the house for once. We headed up to my room.

We were barely inside when I was wrapped up in strong arms, and couldn't think of anything except his lips on mine. He trailed kisses down my jaw and neck before returning urgently to my lips.

I ran my hands over his back and chest and pulled his shirt over his head. His body was hot against mine and my skin was charged by the sensation. He raised an eyebrow, asking permission to take my shirt off as well, which I granted. We lay down on my bed and his hands were everywhere. I had to remind myself to breathe when he pulled me over on top of him. Our hips moved together and I moaned slightly at the contact. I hoped he wouldn't stop, I couldn't think clearly. Suddenly though, I froze and pulled away quickly. He sat up, confused.

"Shit! They are almost here. I almost didn't hear them." I threw his shirt at him.

_I'm sorry, I was out of line back there_, he thought as he stood up, nodding back toward the bed.

I shook my head as I pulled on my shirt, and then kissed him quickly, hard. "No, you weren't," I whispered.

His mouth went a little slack before he could pull himself together. I smirked at him and fixed his hair before fixing my own.

_Is Edward in the car? _Nahuel asked me. I listened.

"Yep. We're screwed," I answered. Nahuel laughed.

The car pulled up and Edward and Bella got out.

_I'm sorry sis, am I interrupting something?_

_Shut up, Edward._

I ignored my brother and smiled at Bella. "Hey Bella, glad to be done with school?"

She nodded, and looked over at Nahuel. "I was wondering where you had gone."

"Edward seemed to think that Mark was going to cause trouble, so he suggested that I make myself scarce."

"Edward, did everyone else go hunting?" I asked. He nodded. He wasn't looking at me; he was glaring at Nahuel, who wasn't doing such a good job at keeping his thoughts together.

_Edward, please mind your business. _Now he was glaring at me. _You aren't going to make a big deal about this to mom and dad right? Please?_

He didn't respond. Instead he and Bella headed up to his room. _Hypocrite_, I thought.

I walked toward the back door, motioning for Nahuel to follow. We walked quietly for a while toward the river. It was a warm evening, and the clouds were breaking up. We sat along the riverbank, I leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around me.

"I am sorry. I think I've caused some discord for you with your brother," he said quietly.

"Edward will be fine. He forgets that we're not all so Victorian." I sighed. "Actually I feel bad for him. I mean I'm so glad he has Bella and they are happy. But I know he has to be so...careful with her. He can't just lose control like..."

Nahuel picked up where I left off. "Like we did?" He chuckled. "We did a little bit there. I wouldn't mine doing that again sometime," he said, his dark eyes probing mine.

"Mmm" I mumbled, reaching up to kiss him. We fell back onto the grass, he leaned over me and gently pressed against me, kissing me urgently, quickly catching up to where we left off earlier.

He pulled his shirt off and mine followed. He ran his hands down over my breasts and down my sides. He snaked an arm behind me to pull me closer, grabbing my thigh with the other to bring it up against him, pulling me closer still. He moaned into my neck, and, again asking my permission to go farther, moved my jeans down my hips. I pulled at his and he helped me remove them. I pulled him back to me and kissed him, urging him on.

_Are you sure? _He thought.

"Yes, please," I whispered, pulling him to me. He moaned at the contact as he slowly acquiesced.

He moved in slowly, letting me adjust to the sensation. I started to move faster against him and he grunted. The noise made me crazy and I pushed him over so that I was over him now. He grabbed my hips and drove into me faster until finally we both cried out. I dropped against him and we lay like that for a while, the sound of his heart against my ear.

I moved so that I was lying beside him; he didn't let go of me while I moved. As we lay there he stroked my back gently, kissing my head. "I guess we're really in trouble now."

"Yeah," I said. I moved, reluctantly, to get dressed. It would not do for any of my family members to stumble upon this scene, and he did the same. He motioned then for me to sit with him.

"I realize this is somewhat out of order. But I want to put it out there. I don't know what this," he motioned between us, "is. I don't believe that our kind mates, per se, but for now I am happy being happy around you. If that's not enough for you, now or later, I do understand."

I nodded. "That's enough for me. I've never imagined myself finding what the rest of my family has. I can't promise that they will understand though," I said.

He lay back again and I laid my head on his chest. "What about your aunt? You must miss your home."

"This isn't the first time Huilen and I have separated. She may come here at some point, or I may want to go home to see her. For now this is where I want to be, unless of course you decide to send me away."

I considered this. "I don't want you to be without your family," I said, yawning.

"Shhh," he said, kissing me softly. He stroked my back softly and I closed my eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3. Trouble.

I felt myself being jostled, the arms holding me no longer still. "Ellie. Ellie. ELEANOR. Shit. Wake up!"

"Jesus, Nahuel what?" And then I heard my phone ringing. "Shit!"

I scrambled to answer it. "Hello?"

"Eleanor, it's you father."

He had serious-Dad voice. I cringed. "Hi Daddy. What's up?"

"Your mother is worried, you've been gone all evening. Is everything okay?"

I cringed again when I realized how late it must be. "Sorry Daddy. We're coming home right now."

"Ok sweetheart. See you soon."

I turned to Nahuel. "Oh my god I am in so much trouble. What happened?"

He laughed. "We fell asleep, clearly. I'm sorry; I don't want you to be in trouble with your family. I can speak with them with you if you'd like."

"That depends. Can you keep from thinking about um, what happened? I don't need the Victorian prude police on my case anymore than they already will be."

He smirked, nodding. We ran off toward the house. I crept back into the house and walked upstairs found seven pairs of vampire eyes staring at me. "Uh hi. Sorry, I didn't mean to worry you."

"Where were you?" asked my mother.

"Just by the river. We fell asleep." No one said anything. I'd never heard my family so quiet. "I'm going to go to bed now, okay? I really am sorry."

I said good night to my parents, and hurried up the stairs. Nahuel headed to his guest room down stairs. I didn't sleep at all until I heard Edward leave to go back to Bella's. I was too afraid I would dream something incriminating. _Ridiculous. _I rolled over, trying to settle into a comfortable position, and contemplated on my odds of success of sneaking down to Nahuel's room. I was much more comfortable an hour ago. I sighed and closed my eyes.

It seemed like just a few minutes later, there was a knock at my door. "Go away Alice!" I shouted sleepily.

"Ellie?" Dad answered. "Can I come in?"

I sat up. "Um, sure Dad."

He opened the door and smiled at me. "Paying for your late night?" I grumbled in response.

"I was thinking we could go on our hunt this morning, if that's okay. I have to go in the hospital later, but I don't want to miss it."

In other words, he wants to talk. Now.

"Okay. Let me get dressed."

I ran across the hall to the bathroom to brush my teeth and my hair. As I ran back to my room I nearly crashed right into Nahuel, who came up looking for me. I felt the charge as we touched and had to collect myself.

"Hi."

He chuckled. "Hi yourself," he said in a low voice. He followed me into my room. "I just wanted to see you before you left with your father. I'm going to take a quick trip to hunt myself. But first," he paused and wrapped his arms around me. "I wanted to tell you that I missed you last night." He kissed me, his lips light on mine at first, gradually moving more urgently. I only pulled away because I heard Carlisle getting ready to go, and I still needed to get dressed.

"Hurry back," I breathed.

"Ellie, you ready?"

"Coming Dad!"

I dressed in a flash and ran down the stairs. Mom was standing with dad. "Morning mom," I said hugging her. "Morning sweetie. Have a good time."

We ran in silence for a while. Carlisle was trying to find words to say something but didn't want me to know what it was before he said it.

Finally I stopped. "Daddy, what is it?"

"What do you mean?"

"We've been running for an hour and you've been trying to think without thinking this whole time. It's giving me a headache. Just tell me whatever it is."

"Oh. Well. I don't really know how to ask this, Ellie." He fidgeted with his jacket. He sighed. "There is some concern that you are moving...fast with Nahuel."

"Tell Edward mind his damn business."

"Ellie, it's not just Edward. I've been thinking about it and I am worried too. This is new for your mother and me. You're an adult, but you were only born seven years ago. It seems so soon to have these conversations."

"Um. I'm confused."

He sighed. "Me too. I don't like invading your privacy like this; you are an adult. But, there could be consequences to taking your relationship to a certain level."

"Uh, dad?" I asked awkwardly, wanting to die a little bit knowing what was coming next.

"Yes?" He seemed relieved that I interrupted him.

"Um. That ship has sailed."

I froze and braced for him to fume or yell; which, come to think of it I didn't think he'd ever yelled at me, I realized randomly. I listened to his thoughts when he didn't say anything; the stunned silence rung out for a whole second that felt like a year.

"Okay," he said finally.

_Okay? _I thought. Huh.

"Let's hunt," he said.

We took off. A few hours later we sat and talked like we always do after a hunt. "Daddy?"

"Yes, you need to tell your mother."

"Crap." I knew I had gotten off to easy. "We should probably get back then."

He nodded, standing and offering me his hand. I took it and stood up as well, and he grabbed me into a hug. "I'm sorry. Remember that we don't know what we're doing with you, okay? Our mystery child," he smiled and kissed my forehead.

When we got home, Alice had already told Mom that we needed to talk, so she was waiting for us in my room. She wasn't mad either. I showered after my conversation with Mom, tired from the heavy conversations and ready to go back to sleep. Mentally exhausted, I leaned back against my pillow, but before sleep could find me I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in," I told my sisters.

Alice peaked in first, followed by Rosalie. "Sorry," Rose said. "Were you sleeping?"

"No not yet, just tired."

"Where's Nahuel today?" she asked.

"Um. He went to hunt."

"Ah." She paused. "So I understand you two have gotten serious?"

"Oh jeez." I laughed. "I guess?"

"Edward was a little pissed that Carlisle and Esme didn't give you a hard time about last night," Alice said.

"Well, from the man that lurks in a girl's room every night, sure," I said rolling my eyes. Alice giggled.

"He's just worried."

"Right. So lets get to why you're really here. You saw my conversation with Carlisle this morning?" I asked Alice pointedly.

She nodded. "I think you stunned him. He didn't know whether laugh, yell or cry."

I felt bad about that. "I think he was a little hurt that I didn't talk to them first, but it wasn't really a planned thing." I sighed.

"Um yea. About that. Apparently my visions picked pretty much that moment to include Nahuel. I got quite a visual. Which is why Edward was so furious." Alice looked at me a little sheepishly.

"I only got the play by play," smirked Rosalie.

"Oh my god," I whined and fell back on my pillows, my face in my hands. _Damn nosey vampire family._

"Emmett is dying. Ordinarily he would love to give you a hard time about this, but he can't because you're his baby sister." Rosalie laughed.

"I'm sure he will get over that quickly enough."

"Alice, is Jazz mad?" She shook her head. "You're happy, and he's happy about that."

"You know," I huffed indignantly, "I'm not sure where anyone gets off being upset with me. I'm not a child. Dad said so to Nahuel when Nahuel asked to stay."

"Ellie, you are an anomaly. Ok, you both are." Rosalie said. "Let's not forget that Edward and Carlisle _saw_ your birth, saw-"

"Me tear my birth mother apart."

"Well I wasn't going to say that," Rose said softly.

"So Edward and Dad are worried that I will knocked up with a monster baby?" I asked curtly.

"Essentially," Rose answered.

Suddenly, Edward appeared in the doorway, glaring.

_Tell me you're not only JUST considering this. You are smarter than that._

I looked at him. _I didn't hear you. Come on in and join the party, _I thought sardonically. _And apparently I'm not smarter than that. What the hell do you want me to do? Join a convent of cloistered nuns?_

Alice and Rosalie watched out silent exchange tensely.

"Edward," Bella called, having just let herself in the front door.

"Give him a second Bella," I shouted. "He'll be down soon."

_Excuse me? _He thought.

_What? Am I not allowed to speak to her? Slutty isn't contagious - _he winced at the word - _don't worry. Plus, you look like you're about to attack me, _I thought of his angered posture - which I found slightly frightening and knew full well he wouldn't lunge - _I rather thought you prefer her NOT to see that._

He straightened and took a breath. "Bella, I will be right there."

"Ellie, think about what I said, please."

I turned to face the window, trying not to let the tears through. "Ellie," Rose said, putting her hand on my shoulder, "what happened there? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," I lied. "Edward just came up to call me stupid."

"Carlisle will be home soon, Ellie," Alice said. "I think he wants to talk about…that; the possibility, anyway. I _think_ that I would know if that were to happen."

"What do you mean? I would disappear if I got pregnant?" I asked, confused.

She nodded slowly. "It's just a theory, of course, but I think it's a pretty solid one. And for what it's worth, I don't see anything like that now."

"Okay," I said.

"Do you want me to come with you?" she asked. I shook my head.

"No, I will go wait for him in his office. Thanks Alice," I said. I hugged her and crept down the hall. I climbed the stairs to the third floor, and opened the door to my father's office. This room always felt like home to me. We've moved so many times in the last 7 years; my accelerated growth had made it even more problematic to stay in one place. Every house was different, though Esme always tried to maintain some consistency, especially for me. But this room was almost identical in each house we lived in. When I was little, I would often come up here to sleep when Dad was at work. He would take me back to my room when he got home.

I stretched out on the big leather sofa, lying so that I could look out the huge window, and listening nervously for Daddy's arrival. After a few minutes that felt like an eternity, his car turned into the drive and approached the house. He walked in and came straight upstairs. I wasn't sure if he knew I was in here. He opened the door and jumped a little when he saw me waiting for him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," I said.

_That's okay. I'm glad you are here. I assume Alice told you I wanted to talk? _I nodded slowly.

"Daddy, I really don't think this is necessary." He actually looked a little mad at that.

"Well, perhaps you should have thought of that first then."

I saw him process my hurt expression. "Damn it," he swore, frustrated. He pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. "I'm sorry. Listen, I just wanted you to know that I was concerned, but Alice talked me down a bit earlier. She reminded me that if anything about your course changed that, _dramatically_, she would know. It's just a little scary, we don't _know_ how your body would handle a pregnancy, anymore than we know if that is even possible."

I listened to him reason out loud. He was speaking to comfort himself as much as to comfort me. He paused and was quiet for a long moment.

"So," I said quietly. "Are we okay? Are you mad at me?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "No one is mad, Ellie. I'm a little worried, but I think Alice is right. I trust you."

I laughed at his assessment. "No one is mad, huh? You haven't seen Edward today apparently."

He looked at me with an eyebrow raised. "Your brother is mad at you?"

"Edward and I got into pretty good earlier. He's so angry with me. I mean, honestly. He's hardly been an example of prudent vampire behavior of late. I've ALWAYS had his back as far as Bella goes."

I trudged back to my room, exhausted. Mom was coming up the stairs to see Dad. I stopped and gave her a hug. "I love you Mom," I said.

She smiled, a little surprised. "I love you too, honey, sleep well."'

I changed back out of my jeans and sweatshirt, feeling a little warm all of a sudden. I threw a t-shirt on and went to open my window to let some air in. I climbed into bed and fell asleep immediately.

My mind, however, did not want to rest. My dreams were vivid that night. It started off the same as it had been since I was a child. I could feel myself restricted in my mother's womb, instinctively forcing my way through her flesh, fatally injuring her from the inside out. The light bright in my eyes when I finally emerged, the strange, panicked voices of my father and brother and the stream of memories that my brutalized mother forced into my mind and Edward's.

The scene shifted slightly, however, and instead of my birth mother's mangled body beneath my father's hands, I saw him crying tearless sobs over my own lifeless corpse. I tried to scream at him, to tell him that it wasn't me; that I was here but no sound would come. I struggled to force my brain to wake up, and thrashed wildly against some unknown force restraining me.

"Ellie, Ellie, baby wake up. Wake up, please, you're dreaming." It wasn't my father's voice anymore, pleading for me to respond. My eyes flew open in shock and I tried to focus on my captor. "Baby, it's okay, it's okay. Just a dream." Nahuel crushed me to him, though I was still at war with my instincts that were screaming at me to fight.

I breathed in his scent and focused on the warmth of his body against mine to calm myself. My heart was pounding at a speed that would surely have been deadly to a full human. Finally my mind began to clear slightly so that I could find words.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him, confused. "I mean, in my room?"

He was still rocking me like a child. "I returned from my hunt a few hours ago. Carlisle told me about everything that happened today. I _think_ he was giving me permission to come up here," he chuckled once. "He was on his way out to the hospital, and Esme was heading out with the rest to hunt."

"Oh," I said as I tried to relax against him, but I still couldn't get the image of my father, broken from grief, out of my mind.

Nahuel leaned back slowly and carefully pulled me with him so that I was lying with my head against his chest, cradled carefully in his muscular arms. I only now noticed that his clothes, apart from shorts, were absent. That did not help my focus.

I lifted my head up and turned my body so that I could see his face. "Was I dreaming when you came in?" I asked. He shook his head.

"You were sleeping. I figured I would join you. I hope that's okay, my coming in here?" he asked, concerned.

"Of course it is."

"Good," he smiled and kissed me. "I fell asleep, but woke up when you started crying and screaming. I tried to wake you but I must have made you panic because you starting fighting me. I was worried you wouldn't wake without hurting yourself," he said, his eyes creased with concern.

_I know you've mentioned the dreams you have, but I had no idea it was that bad._

"It's not, usually. Just some stuff that Edward and my father said today got all twisted up in my head. You said he told you everything from today?"

He nodded. _He's worried that you'll get pregnant._ He thought for a moment. "I don't know how _that_ works for us either, I don't really have much experience with any of this," Nahuel said. I looked at him.

"You mean, you never...?" I asked in disbelief. He shook his head.

"There's not a lot of, erm, dating opportunities in the Amazon," he laughed.

"Huh," I said, slightly bemused. "Edward thinks we're stupid," I said. Nahuel shrugged.

"So," he said, "have you calmed enough to sleep?" He brushed his fingers up and down my arm. I'm sure he meant it to be soothing, but it was entirely distracting.

"Yeah I guess so," I said, yawning.

He kissed me again and whispered "Good night." I curled into him, laying my head on his chest again, listening to his heart.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4. Peacemaker.

I woke up a few hours later, groggy, but unable to go back to sleep. I was still surprised by Nahuel's presence, unaccustomed to sleeping so near to someone else. I carefully extricated myself from his hold, and looked down on him as he slept. His long hair was a mess and I gently moved it away from his face, trying to be careful not to wake him.

I kissed his forehead before climbing out of bed, heading for the shower. It seemed the house was still empty; the weather was supposed to be gorgeous this weekend and I imagined that my siblings and my mother would be gone for most of the day.

As I adjusted the water, I heard Nahuel stirring in the next room. _Would you like company? _he thought as he moved to get out of the bed.

I smiled. "Absolutely," I said quietly, knowing he could hear me.

In a flash, the shower door opened and he stepped in. My breath caught at the sight of him before me. He quickly moved to pull me against him and we leaned back into the wall, under the hot water. I wrapped my legs around him and he drove into me, quickly. We moved swiftly against one another and came together after only a few minutes, but he recovered almost immediately.

We slowed our rhythm, and his eyes met mine as we continued to move against each other. My head leaned back, and he gently, but firmly, grabbed my hair and pressed his mouth to mine. We continued like that for a long time, until I could no longer form a coherent thought. I moaned, desperate to come again. He responded by thrusting harder and increasing his speed. I cried out and he muffled my sound with a rough kiss as we climaxed again.

The shower water was cooling so we reluctantly got out. I wrapped a towel around my hair and grabbed another to dry off. His mind was racing, reliving the last hour as we went back into my room.

I watched his memories and gasped audibly. He was sitting on the bed, still in a towel, and looked up at me, smirking a bit.

I climbed on top of him and we picked up where we left off before the shower water went cold.

A few hours later, I woke up again with Nahuel still sleeping, our limbs tangled from earlier. "See something you like?" he asked as he opened his eyes, clearing enjoying my distraction.

I leaned over him for a long kiss. "Mmm," I murmured.

"How much time do you think we have before your family comes back?" he asked suggestively, running his hand from my shoulder, down my breast and torso. I hesitated, and he crushed me to him again.

"Oh god," I said. "Wait, wait," I pushed him back a bit. "I can't think when you do that."

"That's the idea," he was smirking confidently, and moved his hips so they were against mine, and I felt him, hard against my leg.

"They could be back any minute," I said, losing my resolve to pull away. He climbed over me, pushing in slightly. "Can you hear them now?"

I shook my head, and raised my knees and spreading my legs so that he had easier access.

"Then we have at least this minute," he murmured. He pushed in as far as he could and snaked his arms underneath me to pull me even closer. "Oh god," he moaned. His voice was rough, and the sound of it pushed me over, I thrust up against him frantically.

"Okay, " I said breathing hard. "Now we really have to get up." Come to think of it, I realized I was not entirely sure I could stand up, let alone walk.

He pouted playfully. "Stop it," I said to him. "God, I can barely look at you without-"

"Wanting to jump me?" he finished my sentence, raising an eyebrow. He gestured, waving a hand in front of him. "Be my guest."

I threw a pillow at him. _Okay, okay, he thought. Perhaps we need another shower though?_

"Oh my god, enough!" I shouted, laughing. Despite my protests, I was considering it and he knew it.

I got up and went to my closet, grabbing a pair of shorts and a tank top. The weather was finally warm enough for summer clothes.

When I emerged, I went over to the mirror to assess my hair. I dragged a brush through it, trying to tame the damage from the morning's activities. Eventually I gave up and twisted into a knot on the top of my head. Nahuel came up behind me, having dressed without further protest. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck. I sighed and leaned against him.

"What are we going to do when they are all back? " I asked. He put his forehead on my shoulder, and I felt his body trembling from laughter.

"What?" I said.

"Have you not noticed the amount of time your family members spend occupied by their spouses? I don't think they will take much notice. It's not like they don't all know now. I don't think it's a coincidence that they all decided to leave as soon as I came back last night."

I considered this. "I'm not sure if I should be grateful, or a little creeped out at that idea."

He laughed again. "You are a little ridiculous, you know?"

We lounged around downstairs for a while into the afternoon. I heard a noisy engine pulling up, and I realized it must be Bella's truck.

"Bella's coming," I said to Nahuel. Edward must have called her and told her they would be back soon.

I went out to the porch to wait for her, and waved when her truck got close. "Hi stranger!" I said when she got out. She came up the steps, and I hugged her hello. I hadn't seen much of her lately.

"Hi!" she said. "It's good to see you." She peeked around me. "Hello Nahuel," she said timidly.

"Hello, Bella," he answered with a polite smile.

"So what's up? Are you looking for Edward?" I asked her. "They aren't back yet."

She shook her head. "He called and said they would be back around 3:30. He mentioned though that you were here, and I thought I would come by for a visit, and wait for him to get back."

"You know Alice will have seen that right?"

"I told him I was coming early. I don't want to be in the middle of your fight."

I smiled, "Do you want to go get coffee or something? It's only 2:00, so we have some time." I looked at Nahuel. "Do you mind?"

"Of course not, go." He smiled. _I will miss you. _And he thought back on our morning.

I blushed slightly. "Okay, I will see you in a bit."

"Bella, come on in for a second while I get my purse. Tell me what's new with you."

She followed me upstairs to my room while we chatted about her job, and Charlie. She stopped a little short in the doorway, taking in the room that I had not yet straightened up. "Oh sorry," I said, "Um, it's a bit of a mess in here."

She giggled. "Looks like you guys were having a good time."

I raised my eyebrow at her. "What exactly has Edward been telling you, missy?" I found my purse under Nahuel's belongings. Bella smirked at the pile of carelessly discarded clothes that clearly weren't mine. Ready to leave, I twirled my finger at her, signaling that it was time to go. We got in my car, and she buckled her seat belt a little nervously.

I laughed at her expression. "Don't worry, I won't set any speed records. Edward would kill me," I said.

"Right, because he's so observant of things like speed limits," she said sarcastically.

"Yeah, but if he does it it's okay. It's the rest of the world that he doesn't trust." I sighed, regretting the snark in my words immediately. "Sorry, that was uncalled for. I know you don't want to get in the middle of this."

She sat quietly for a second. "I think he's worried about you," she said carefully, "not that he's not being ridiculous about it."

"I know that he's worried. But let's face it. He's being hypocritical."

"What exactly is he so mad about? Does he just not like Nahuel?"

"Well," I said, "That's part of it. It's not so much that he doesn't like him, but he's not like the rest of us. Veggie and all that. He won't hunt here, and he would never hurt you, but it makes Edward anxious nonetheless."

"That's his problem? He's not talking to you because he's worried about ME?"

"No, no, it's more than that," I said quickly. "I'm sorry, I don't want you to think that this is about you. Really, it's because I've offended his Victorian sensibilities."

"Huh?"

"Bella, you saw my room. Surely you figured this out. Nahuel and I are sleeping together."

The light went on. "Ohhh," she said. "Well that's not really his business, is it?"

I sighed. "Not really. He thinks we're being irresponsible. On the one hand I get it. He and Carlisle got a first-hand look at what the birth of a hybrid child is like for the mother...but Alice doesn't see anything like that. Or for that matter, she still sees me at all. If that were going to happen, I would probably disappear."

Bella sat there, processing the information. "Whoa."

"Hah. Yeah."

"I think he feels bad about the fight you guys had, for what that's worth," she said as we pulled into the coffee shop parking lot. "It's your life, and your decision."

As we walked in I looked at her. "Listen, I appreciate what you said. But don't try to intercede with Edward on my behalf. The more you tell him he's wrong the more he digs his heels in."

She laughed. "That is certainly true."

We each ordered our coffees and sat down at a small table in the corner. She eyed me drinking my coffee.

"What? I can eat and drink like a _real_ human," I said quietly.

Bella laughed. "I know you can, but you're so much like _them_ that it just seems so _weird_."

"That's me, freak among freaks! Actually, Carlisle _really_ pushed that when I was little. He thought that would make it easier for me to blend in," I mused.

My phone buzzed on the table. "His ears must have been burning," I said as I answered the phone.

"Hello, Edward."

"Hi. Is Bella with you? I called the house and no one answered."

"I'm fine; thanks for asking. Yes. She came by early and we went out for coffee. We will be finishing up soon."

I heard the engine rev in the background. "Would you like to say hi to -" the line went dead before I could finish the question. I sighed and looked up at Bella. "I guess his mood hasn't improved. Are you ready to head back?"

Bella nodded, clearly happy to know that Edward was almost home, and practically burst out of the car when Edward came out to meet us. I waited in the car a moment, trying to get a gauge on my brother's mood.

_Hi Ellie_, he thought calmly_. Can we talk later?_

I nodded and went and found find Nahuel in the kitchen talking to Esme. "Hi Mom," I said, as I greeted her with a hug. "Did you guys have a good trip?"

"We did sweetie, thank you," she said. "How are you?"

"I'm good, thanks."

I walked over to Nahuel's side of the counter, and he put his arm around me. _Edward wants to talk with you later? _I nodded.

_Do you want me to be there?_

I shook my head and kissed him lightly. "Thank you though." A little while later, when Alice had captured Bella to play human-barbie doll, Edward walked over to where Nahuel and I were sitting in the living room.

"Ellie, would you mind taking a walk with me?"

"No, let's go."

He gestured in front of him. _After you._

We walked out to the back yard and into the trees, not saying anything for a while.

_So, _he thought, _I've been a bit of an ass lately, huh?_

_Well, since you put it that way, yeah, kinda._

He chuckled grimly. _I'm sorry about that. You were right in what you said to Carlisle, you've been supportive about Bella from the beginning. I owe you at least that much._

I stared at him in shock. _Thanks?_

_And listen. About what you said yesterday; the um, slut, thing. I don't think that. At all. Carlisle kind of chewed me out a bit for that today._

"He did?"

"Yeah. Rightly so." _I never meant for you to think that. He told me that he spoke with Alice, to see if she had noticed anything amiss. She hasn't; I realized that if he's not freaking out, then I need to shut the hell up._

I nodded slowly, processing his words. "So," I said, drawing the word out. "Are we okay?"

_I hope so. _He stopped walking. _Really, I haven't been a very good brother these last few days. I'm sorry._

_You are forgiven._

He grinned at me and I reached up to hug my brother, which was a challenge.

"Christ you're tall," I said.

He laughed and stooped down a bit, hugging me back. "I really am sorry, and I will try to behave better."

I kissed his cheek. "See that you do."

We walked back to the house slowly. "Did you have a nice time with Bella earlier?" he asked.

"I did! I was glad she came by early, I hadn't seen much of her lately. I freaked her out because I actually ordered a coffee and drank it without a pained expression."

He laughed. "Good. She missed you, so I'm glad you guys went." He paused. "How are things with Nahuel?" He had clearly seen the disorderly state of my room.

I blushed a little. _Shit I meant to close that door._ "Things are good."

_Can I tell you something? _he thought.

_Of course. _I looked at him, waiting.

_I think I'm a little jealous of the two of you._

_Say what now? _I was confused.

_I mean, of the uh, physical, part of your relationship._

_OH. Huh._

_For obvious reasons that's just not possible with Bella, though she constantly tries to undermine me in that area._

I laughed, without meaning to. _Sorry. I'm not laughing at you, I know it's not funny. Edward, you know the answer to that is right under your nose._

_No. That is NOT an option._

_Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I don't know how you do it, honestly. You know; if you ever changed your mind about that no one would take issue with it._

_No one huh?_

_Rose doesn't count; she takes issue with everything._

He laughed, hard. _Indeed. I'm not budging on this._

_I know, I just wanted to say that. I will drop it._


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5. Back to School.

It was morning. I knew that because of the insistent knocking and chirping of my over-exuberant big sister.

"Wake up guys! Ellie! Nahuel! I don't care if you're decent, I'm coming in in 30 seconds!"

"Argh," Nahuel grumbled, rolling over and wrapping his arms around me. "Your sister," he breathed into my beck, "is more obnoxious than any alarm clock."

I laughed. "That she is. As much as it pains me to say this, you better put some pants on. She means it." I grabbed my robe and covered my minimally clothed figure. Nahuel zipped into the closet and pulled some pants on.

Alice burst through the door. "Finally!" She shoved past Nahuel for access to my closet. "Jesus, when was the last time you organized this thing?"

"Um, never?"

"Here," she threw a pair of dark jeans at me, "and this with it," she added as she tossed me a flowing sleeveless top.

Next she headed for my shoes. "These are perfect!" she exclaimed, and I swiftly caught the pair before they smacked into my head. They were ridiculously high open-toed heels.

"Alice! We're going to school not a strip joint!" I cried in protest. Nahuel raised his eyebrow at my comment.

"No arguments. You need the height, you're going to be walking around with Nahuel all day!"

I smiled at that. A couple of weeks ago, Nahuel came up to bed after me, having been called to stay behind so that he could talk to Alice and Carlisle. I was exhausted so I didn't stay for the chat. He crept in quietly and disrobed, climbing into bed and pulling me close.

"So," he whispered. "I understand that you'll be heading back to school soon."

I turned to face him and rolled my eyes at the thought of school. "Carlisle asked if I wanted to go with you. They said I would be an exchange student," he emphasized those words in his thickest accent, "I think. What do you think?"

"I think that high school will be exceedingly boring for you," I hedged.

"Not if you are there. I told them that unless you didn't want me to come, I would like to go," he said with a smile. "Naturally, Alice said she knew that would be my answer."

"I do have one tiny concern," I said, clutching him closer to me, "I don't know how on earth I will be able to concentrate with you there." He laughed, his lips on mine. My earlier exhaustion forgotten, there was hardly any sleep that night.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts, focusing on Alice's impatience that I hadn't dressed yet. "I'm going, I'm going," I mumbled, waving her off. I crossed the hall to the bathroom and put on the clothes that were thrown at me. "You know what would be more fun Alice?" I called to her from the bathroom. "If you head over to Bella's house and play Barbie with her."

Alice laughed. "That would be fun."

Edward walked by as I said this and I heard his groan from the hallway. "Oh no you don't. I don't want to have to hear about that. If you go over there, Alice, she will moan about it for a week!"

"At least," I added.

I walked back into my room, to find Nahuel had also gotten the full Alice treatment. Dark jeans matched with a tight, black Henley shirt, accentuating his darker complexion. She undid the hair tie that he typically wore, leaving his straight, dark hair hanging down to his shoulders. I stopped short, taking in the sight.

"Um, Alice?" I said. "Get out please."

Nahuel smirked at me. _I like that idea._

"No way!" Alice shouted. "You two get downstairs NOW! I can drag you both if I have to!"

I sighed and stole another glance at Nahuel. He was looking me over, and clearly approved of Alice's handiwork on me. Making it even more difficult to leave, he pictured in detail what he would prefer to do if only it weren't for my drill sergeant sister.

Edward cleared his throat from downstairs. "Nahuel, please, I'm begging you."

Now it was my turn to laugh. "Come on," I said, grabbing Nahuel's arm, and kissing him quickly. "Let's get this over with and then we can revisit your suggestions."

Everyone was waiting downstairs; my parents said their goodbyes to all of us. Nahuel and I climbed into my car and took off toward the school.

"So," I said. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Well I can't possibly let you out of my sight looking like _that_, now can I?" he asked, winking at me.

"Good." I looked him over again and shivered. "I am going to lose my mind today. Those little bitches are going to be falling all over themselves for you."

We parked in the lot, and he turned to me. "You have nothing to worry about," he said leaning in to kiss me. It started gently and then quickly escalated, and could have turned into quite a show if not for Jasper's knock on the window. I sat back in my seat and put the window down,

"Killjoy," I said.

"Ellie, please. You guys are worse than a whole school full of out of control hormones. Tone down the sex a little, have mercy on your brother," he pleaded.

"Oh shut up Jasper. Half of the school is out of control because you play with their emotions for fun. Admit it," I shot back.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he said, looking innocent.

"Sure you don't," I said. Nahuel and I got out of the car and started walking toward the school. Bella and Edward were waiting at the end of the parking lot.

Bella raised her eyebrow at me as we approached. "Good morning," she said with a smirk.

_Giving her the play-by-play were you? _I thought.

Edward chuckled in response. _Better than suffering through the visuals alone._

I rolled my eyes and punched his arm. _Ow._ I thought.

_Genius._

I started to pick up on the curious thoughts of the other students filing into the school. Nahuel's presence was not missed by many. The girls' thoughts were excruciating.

_Holy shit Edward. How do you not murder the entire male population of this school on a daily basis? I've been here five minutes and I've got a hit list a mile long._

He laughed darkly. _I know. Good times, eh?_

I decided to put on a show for the onlookers. As we approached my locker, I grabbed Nahuel and pulled him to me, kissing him hard.

_Umm. Not that I'm complaining, _he thought,_ but how is that NOT drawing attention?_

I rolled my eyes at him and kissed him once more. _Well, if you insist._

We broke it off before the teachers made their rounds down the hall. It had been decided that I would be mercifully allowed to skip my junior year and enter this year as a senior with Edward, Alice, and Jasper. Nahuel was of course, also a senior.

We walked to our first class with Edward and Bella. I tried to tune out the thoughts of the students, and focused on Nahuel, making sure that he was okay with the immersion into a building full of humans. He had recently tried his hand at the Cullen diet, but was still struggling with the idea. He and Jasper spent a lot of time together these days.

Mostly, much to Edward's chagrin, Nahuel was focused on me throughout the day, and paid very little attention to anything else. This of course was highly distracting to me. At one point, Edward threatened to lobby my parents to kick us out, like they did with Rosalie and Emmett who were traveling in Europe for another week.

The rest of the day passed slowly, but without incident. We didn't talk much on the car ride home, both anxious for some time alone. Miraculously, no one was at the house when we got there. Alice and Jazz went hunting and Edward went to Bella's. I wasn't sure where my parents were.

We walked inside holding hands. "Seems like we have the house to ourselves for a bit," I said to him.

He scooped me up without hesitating and raced up the stairs to our room. "I have been thinking about this all day," he said as he kissed down my neck, running his hands all over me.

I giggled. "I know you have."

I ran my hands down his chest and slipped them under his shirt, pulling it over his head. I kissed all along his collarbone and down his torso until I reached his jeans. "You must wear these again, " I said. "Just not right now."

He took them off before I could move, and I took him into my mouth. "Ungh" he groaned, thrusting into my mouth. "Oh god," he cried as he came quickly. I took everything and didn't release him until he was hard again. He pulled me to him and kissed me deeply. He ripped my clothes off and pulled me down on top of him, the two of us falling to the floor.

We settled into our school routine without incident. Being at school everyday actually gave Edward and Nahuel a chance to get to know each other, and they were getting along well now.

Another morning came, but Alice was too preoccupied with her plans for later to harass us to get up. We lounged lazily in bed, kissing and petting some, but mostly talking quietly. We were thinking of taking a trip; perhaps back to Brazil so that he could see his Aunt, Huilen.

"There will be a brief break for Thanksgiving in a couple of months, or if you wanted to wait, we could go during the Christmas break," I suggested.

He nodded, contemplating this. "Should we get ready? I don't want the wrath of Alice if we are late today."

I sighed. "Yes. You know, I hate this part of the day." _Me too, _he thought.

We were dressed and in the car in just a few minutes. The house was fairly quiet. Esme was running an errand for Alice in preparation for tonight, and Carlisle had gone into work early so he could be home in plenty of time.

Rosalie and Emmett returned the day before. I had missed my brother and sister, and it was good to have them home. Especially since that meant Nahuel and I were no longer the most obnoxious couple in the house.

Before we left, we could hear Rosalie grumbling to Emmett about having to participate in this evening's festivities. "Rose, baby, it won't be so bad," Emmett pleaded with her. "Come on. She will probably do something hilariously Bella, how could you want to miss that?"

Emmett thought Bella was a real crack-up. I think he missed her when they were away.

"Ugh. I just don't know why Alice has to go all out for a birthday party, and why does it have to be HERE? Did you see the cake she ordered? That only one-third of the people in attendance will actually eat?

"Well, Edward is pretty whipped. He might choke down a piece or two," Emmett cracked.

I giggled at that. Edward rolled his eyes.

As we were walking out the door, I heard Rose begrudgingly promise Emmett that she would behave herself this evening. Not that she would do otherwise and embarrass mom.

After school, Alice had us all running around the house setting up. She really did go completely overboard.

"Alice, really, she is going to die when she sees all of this, you know that right?" I said, trying to reason with my sister.

"Alice, you've outdone yourself, as usual," my dad said as he walked in, kissing her on the cheek. He came over to kiss me as well.

"Hi Daddy," I said.

"Hi Ellie," he said. He turned to my sister. "Alice, do you need any more help?"

Alice shook her head. "No, thank you Carlisle, I think I've got everything in place now. They should be arriving in about 15 minutes."

"Great," said Dad. "I'm going to run upstairs to change."

A little while later, she had us all lined up ready to greet her as she came in. We all chuckled a bit at her question to Edward as they walked in. She asked if he would actually show up in the pictures she was taking with her new camera.

"Happy birthday!" We said as she came in. She was, predictably, mortified at the fanfare.

She came in and my parents embraced her gently in turn. Even Emmett greeted her with a hug. She came to me and glared as I took my turn to greet her and wish her a happy birthday. Presents came next. Emmett ran put to install the stereo that had come from the first box and Alice handed her another neatly wrapped package.

No one could have guessed how the next few seconds would change everything.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6. Abandon.

I barely smelled the blood on her finger when I saw Jasper lunging and Edward shoving Bella out the way, blocking Jasper's attack with a thunderous crash. More blood poured from her veins; so much that even I struggled to get it together for half a second. Edward crouched low, growling in warning. He wasn't breathing.

I grabbed Nahuel. _I'm ok, _he thought and leapt past me to help restrain Jasper. I whirled around, moving toward Bella to help. Edward roared. _Don't move._

_Edward. I want to help. I'm NOT going to hurt her._

"Let me by Edward," my father told him, as Jasper was forced outside.

I ran upstairs to get Dad's bag. He gave Bella the option of going to the ER, but she asked him to treat her injuries here. I heard them go into the kitchen and I followed, handing Dad his things.

"Thank you." _How is Edward, can you tell? _My father added silently.

I shrugged slightly.

"Ellie, please don't feel like you have to stay," Bella said.

"I'm fine Bella, it's not bothering me, really."

Carlisle spoke up. "Actually, Ellie, can you go see how your brothers are?"

"Ok Daddy," I consented reluctantly. When I went outside, I heard Edward talking with Jasper, who apparently had calmed down. I walked over to them. Nahuel met me half way, holding his arms out to me. I folded myself into him, tears in my eyes that I was desperately trying to hold back.

"How are they?" I asked, wiping my eyes.

"Talking. Jasper's really upset with himself. Edward isn't right though," he said.

"What do you mean?"

"I can't explain it. You will see it better than I, I'm sure."

I listened carefully to the thoughts around me. I heard Nahuel, watching me with concern. Mom was trying to ease her anxiety scrubbing away the blood. Dad was worrying about his oldest son while tending to Bella. Edward. There was nothing. Almost nothing. Just flashes of the scene that took place tonight.

_Edward. _I thought. _Can I do anything? Are you all right?_

No response. Not even acknowledgment.

Nahuel released me as I turned toward where my brothers were standing.

Edward turned suddenly to go back inside. His eyes were wrong. Dead. I gasped. "Edward!" I cried to him as he passed.

"Alice?" She knew what I was asking. "I don't know," she said sadly, watching him walk away.

I walked over to Jasper. Emmett thought about stopping me, worried that Jazz might not yet be totally calmed, but let me pass. I smiled in thanks.

"Jazz," I said, kneeling down where he sat. "How are you?"

He looked up at me and smiled grimly. "Sorry darling," he said. I wrapped my arms around his neck carefully, and kissed his cheek. Emmett and Rose braced to pull me back.

"Shh. It will be okay."

He sighed. "I'm not so sure, but thank you."

"Love you Jazz."

I stood and caught Alice's eye. "Thank you Ellie," she whispered. I nodded and took off back toward the house. The house was quiet. I crept in and found my parents in the living room, huddled together in their concern.

"Mom, Dad, did he take her home?"

"Yes," my father answered. He looked up and saw Alice and Jasper come in. "Jasper, how are you?"

Jasper shrugged, defeated. "I'm sorry Carlisle," he said.

Carlisle shook his head. "No please. It will be okay."

I looked over at Jazz, "See? I told you so."

He smiled weakly at me.

Dad turned his attention to Alice. "Alice, how bad is it?"

"I don't know yet. He will be back soon, after she's sleep."

I looked at Nahuel in panic. He's going to leave her while she sleeps, that is not good. Nahuel read my expression and crossed the room to me. "There's nothing we can do right now," he murmured, "Lets go upstairs." I nodded weakly and let him lead me. He closed the door behind him and put his hands on my shoulders, rubbing them gently. "Do you want to lie down?" I nodded and again let him lead me, this time to the bed. He sat down and pulled me toward him. He moved his legs over so he was lying down and I curled up against him.

"When you said he wasn't right, before?" I said. "You were right. I don't think Carlisle sees how bad it is."

"Shh." He rubbed my back. "Let's just see what happens later."

We lay like that until I heard Alice. _He's on his way._

I sat up, "He's coming."

"Ok. Lets go."

We took our seats at the dining room table. I leaned my head on my mother's shoulder for a moment. I heard Edward approaching, but still no clear thoughts.

Daddy saw me concentrating and raised an eyebrow. _What's he thinking?_

I shrugged, and mouthed "nothing."

His face fell. I felt the tears returning to my eyes. Edward came in and sat down. He declared that he was leaving Bella, as soon as possible. It was decided that we would all leave town the next day. I heard the conversation but felt like the air had been knocked out of my stomach. Nahuel's thoughts were quiet. It occurred to me that he had never considered our eventual move. I peeked over at him; his face was contemplative.

The conversation turned to where we would go, we settled on Ithaca. Mom started making plans to speak to realtors first thing. Rosalie was going to arrange movers. Edward would follow after he had a chance to thoroughly destroy Bella's heart. He heard that and glared at me with his dead eyes.

I looked up and met his gaze. "Coward," I said aloud. I stormed upstairs, the tears I'd been fighting coming freely. Nahuel was right behind and pulled me to him. "Shh, it will be alright, it will be okay," he murmured.

As my eyes opened the next morning, at first it seemed that all that transpired the night before was a terrible dream. And then reality came crashing in. I could smell the boxes and heard the flurry of thoughts and activity going on around us.

"Good morning," Nahuel said. I realized he hadn't been lying with me. "Did you sleep?"

"Some. Did you?"

"No. I was up most of the night helping, also I was thinking about the move." He didn't meet my eyes as he spoke, and his thoughts were unclear. I didn't like where this was going.

"I don't think I'm going to Ithaca."

And then it was back. That feeling like I'd been punched in the gut and couldn't breathe. I heard my family members stop, shocked. Clearly he hadn't discussed this with them.

"Oh-okay. Are you going back to Brazil?" I stammered as I questioned him.

He nodded. I stood. I couldn't feel my legs. I looked down and realized I never changed from my clothes yesterday. "Okay. Thank you for telling me."

The hurt was plain on my face when I looked up at him, I knew. _I'm sorry_, he thought. I charged past him, down the stairs, past my still frozen family, and out the door.

Once outside, I ran. Fast. I ran so hard that I nearly couldn't breathe. I ran along the river for a while. Then I jumped in. The water felt cold to me, it was all I could feel. I came up for air and swam, and swam and swam.

I heard thoughts behind me. Emmett, and Jasper. I jumped out on the other side of the river and ran further. I came across a mountain lion. I roared and leapt to tackle it and sucked it dry quickly. My fury building, I took down two more in its pack before the rest scattered.

_Ellie, _thought Emmett. _Nice kill. Can we please talk?_

I dropped to my knees and at last I couldn't stop the sobs this time. I screamed in anger and cried hot tears. It wasn't long before that I was flanked by my brothers; they were both on their knees beside me.

"Carlisle," Emmett said into his phone in his deep voice. "We have her. She's in rough shape, but physically she's fine. She took out three mountain lions in about thirty seconds. If he's still in the house, he ought to clear out. She might tear his throat out too."

I cried louder. Emmett released me while he talked to my father, and Jasper took me in both his arms.

"Shh, it will be okay, remember? That's what you told me."

He rocked me gently, like they all did when I was a child. I felt calm come over me. I wanted to fight it, to stay furious at Nahuel and Edward, and Daddy who agreed to Edward's ludicrous plan. But I was so exhausted I couldn't protest.

I was vaguely aware of moving quickly through the woods. Jasper carried me as he and Emmett ran toward home. At least, it was home for a few more hours. I felt myself being gently set down, my head on a pillow and a blanket set over me. But then there was movement again. I looked up, confused. I was in the backseat of my car, Jasper and Carlisle up front. Carlisle caught my eye in the mirror.

"Jasper, she's coming around," he whispered. Sleep soon took over again.

Several hours later, I sat up, rubbing y eyes and looking around. "Daddy? Where are we? Where's Jasper?"

He looked up and met my eyes in the mirror. "We're in Indiana. Jasper is in the car behind us, with Alice. We pulled over a few hours ago and he switched cars."

He hesitated. "Ellie. Nahuel left for Brazil before we left Washington."

Tears stung in my eyes. "Okay," I answered.

"Sweetie. I'm sorry. I don't know how everything got so out of hand so quickly."

I nodded, still feeling numb.

"Do you need anything? We can stop if you're hungry. "

"No, no food. I feel a little sick actually."

"Do I need to pull over?"

I shook my head and then changed my mind as my stomach heaved. "Daddy?"

He swerved into the shoulder and blurred around the car to help me out, barely making it before I was sick in the grass beside the road.

"Someone will have seen you," I moaned.

"No it's dark. No one saw anything."

"All that blood though," I said, thinking of my furious kills earlier. "Oh god what if someone finds that?"

"Ellie," he said firmly. "Stop. It's fine."

He helped me to the passenger seat of the car and put his hand on my forehead, and then the back of my neck. "You're warm," he observed. "More so than usual, I mean." He moved his hand to check my pulse. _Good_, he thought. _Ellie, look at me please. _I did. He looked at my eyes. That apparently passed his inspection as well.

"How do you feel now?" he asked softly, a hand on my shoulder.

"Ok, I guess."

"Do you think you are okay to start moving again? Do you want to lie down?"

"Yes," I said, "and no."

"Okay. Lets get you settled and then we will need to call your mom," he said gently.

"Do we really?"

_Yes. She drove past us with Rose and Emmett. She will be worried._

I nodded, closing my eyes and pressing my head back against the seat. Daddy got in the driver's side after buckling me in, and put his blue tooth back in his ear.

"Hi honey...She's fine, she was nauseated so we pulled over...Yes. I think she over did it earlier...she's sitting up now. Just a little warm...I will. Love you."

We drove in silence for a while. "How's Mom?"

"She's worried, about you, and Edward."

"Ah." I didn't know what to say.

"Sweetie, are you tired? We can call Alice and Jasper and ask them to pull over and wait for us."

I considered it, but shook my head. I stared out the window for a while. I dozed on and off while my dad drove into the night. We crossed into New York around 3am. He pulled into a gas station just over the border. He put his hand on my shoulder, "I will just be a minute, okay?" I looked at him and nodded.

He went inside to pay; apparently this particular podunk town doesn't have card readers at the pump. My phone rang from somewhere in the car. I felt around for it, finding it in my purse, in the backseat. It was Nahuel's number. I stared at it. Carlisle opened the door after starting the pump, and saw me holding the ringing device. I held it up so he could see the number. He took it and put it in his pocket after declining the call.

He got back in the car after getting his change. "Ready?" He asked. "We're only a few hours out now."

"Sure." I closed my eyes as he sped off toward the highway.

I felt someone reach over me to undo my seatbelt, and carefully picking me up, maneuvering me so that my head didn't hit the doorframe. I felt myself being carried inside. It smelled like boxes and tape and dust. Unfamiliar. We were walking up steps now. It was my father carrying me, I could tell from his familiar, comforting scent, and his concerned thoughts. He was worried that I was ill, and wondered whether I should still be so groggy after Jasper's manipulation. I thought that was strange, Jasper hasn't been near me for hours. He laid me down on a bed, and my mother quickly joined him sitting next to me. They stayed there through the night.

I didn't wake again until the next afternoon. Or, at least I don't think I did. I opened my eyes and saw my mother's troubled face. "Hi baby," she cooed, stroking my face.

"Hi Mom." I sat up and looked around the unfamiliar room. My stuff was unpacked. "You unpacked for me?" She nodded. "I hope that's ok."

Dad appeared in the doorway. "Sorry sweetheart, I had to step away for a moment. How do you feel?"

"Ok, I guess." Suddenly, I remembered why we were really here. "Where's Edward? When will he get here?"

"Six hours or so," Mom said.

"Ok," I said getting up. "I'm going to shower and get settled, if that's ok. I will be ok, I promise."

"Honey, please don't rush yourself, we can handle Edward as well," she said.

I shook my head. "No. I need to be okay now, I'm not going to wallow." They exchanged a look.

My father nodded, and reached into his pocket. "Here, I picked up a new phone for you today. This is the number. I made sure our numbers were all programmed."

I smiled at him. "Thanks, both of you." I got in the shower and took my time under the hot water. The tears came back and I couldn't stop them. I balled my fist and smashed it into the wall, forgetting for a moment the damage that would cause. I pulled it back and washed the drywall and paint chips from my hand. The tears slowed after that.

I washed my hair and the rest of my body and got out, wrapping myself in a towel. I surveyed the damage and sighed, wondering where mom had stashed the tools to patch the fist shaped dent in the wall. I did feel a little better though. Hopefully I wouldn't end up hurling by the side of the road like I did after the lions, I chuckled slightly to myself. I dressed and tied my hair up, still wet.

I walked back out of my room, looking around to get the lay of the land.

My parents were whispering their goodbyes down stairs. Dad had a meeting with the chief of surgery at a hospital this evening, and then was coming straight back home, though this place felt nothing like home, to wait for Edward. As I explored I discovered that my room was on the same floor as my parents and Alice and Jasper. At the end by the stairs was another room; the door was closed. I knocked just in case and opened the door slowly. It was Daddy's study. I smiled; looking around, glad to see that he had already unpacked it.

I climbed the stairs to the third floor and found Emmett stretched out on their bed, staring at the ceiling. Rose was in their bathroom.

"Hey sis," Emmett said without moving. "How are you doing?" I shrugged.

"I'm here." He nodded.

"What about you?" I said, gesturing to refer to his relaxed position. "Deep thoughts there, Em?"

He looked at me, smirking "Oh yeah."

"Oh Christ, Emmett," I laughed and cringed at the thoughts he threw at me in response. "Hey, Emmett?"

He sat up. "Yeah?"

"Thanks," I mumbled. "You know, for yesterday," _or whenever it was, _I added in my head, still not entirely sure what day it was.

He smiled. "Don't worry about it."

Turning too quickly to head back downstairs, I wobbled slightly; I caught myself on the wall.

Emmett was next to me instantly. "Whoa there. You okay?"

"Yeah. I feel a little jet lagged, or what I would expect that to feel like anyway," I answered, waiting for the ground to level again.

I walked slowly down the stairs, and found the living room.

I found Alice and Jasper sitting in a couch. Alice was concentrating.

_She's watching Edward, _Jasper answered my unasked question. _Making sure he doesn't do anything crazy._

He looked at me for a second, and held his arm out, motioning for me to come sit by him.

I sat down. "No messing with my head please."

"Sorry about that. I think I overdid it a touch the last time," he said.

I look at him, confused.

"Carlisle asked me to meet him on the I90 before we got near Rochester. He said you were restless and he was worried you would wake up confused and freak out."

I nodded. I had been completely unaware of this. "That explains the jet lag," I said.

"Yeah, sorry," _Carlisle was worried that you weren't going to come too there for a minute._

"Jesus." I focused on Alice for a moment; she had taken no notice of our conversation.

I watched her flying through scattered visions. Edward apparently had not decided anything really, and was just driving in this general direction but she did see him coming home, with the dead expression still on his face. There were sporadic images, Jasper in a lecture hall, Alice on a train, Carlisle and Esme looking ragged and defeated. She skipped through them so quickly I couldn't understand it all. It all looked fuzzy, uncertain.

Her visions were making me dizzy, so I got up and found the kitchen. I needed something to do, so I rummaged around in the cupboards and pulled out the coffee maker, and found coffee, half and half and sugar. I was surprised; Mom had apparently been to the store already.

I made coffee and strolled out to the deck off the kitchen. There was a bench at the end of the deck that overlooked the rest of the yard, into the woods. I sat down and swung my legs around, my back facing the house. I sipped my coffee slowly, enjoying the warmth.

I heard my mother step outside and approach me. She stood behind me for a moment, and I turned and motioned to her, inviting her to sit beside me. She sat facing the house, so I turned and sat cross-legged on the bench.

I held up my cup. "Thanks Mom." She smiled.

"So," she said. "Have you given any thought to what you'd like to do while we're here?"

"Ha, not really. It's taken me this long just to get my bearings and kill the jet lag feeling," I said with a small laugh.

"Well, your father will be teaching at Cornell, and if all goes well with his meeting he will be working at the hospital too." She paused. "Jasper was talking about taking classes there, maybe philosophy. I know high school was brief for you, but you are certainly well studied and could enroll at Cornell, or elsewhere if you'd prefer."

I thought about that for several minutes. "You know," I said slowly. "I think I would like that."

Jasper appeared in the doorway. "Really?"

"Sure, why not. I don't want to do philosophy though."

"I figured," he chuckled. "Do you want to come in and figure out what you want to do? I can get everything set up for you."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7. College.

I was sitting with Jazz, flipping through Cornell's website and discussing options. "Easy there, hacker boy," I said as he flew through registration screens. Jasper was usually in charge of getting us registered and otherwise accounted for when we got to a new place. We all, however, knew how to go about document forgery. Even I had been carefully schooled on that.

A little while later, I heard Dad's car pull up. Mom met him at the door, and told him what Jazz and I were planning. "So I hear you're off to college?" he said as he came in the room

I shrugged. "Might as well."

"What are you going to study? They have an excellent pre-med program," he said winking.

"Music I think. I have an appointment with the Music Department tomorrow."

"What time? I have to be at the Dean's office at 11 tomorrow," he asked.

"9:30. I think I'm going to be playing for a couple teachers, since I hadn't sent in a recording. Jasper worked some magic and made it so I was already on their radar," I said.

"Would you like to go together?"

"Sure. You maybe needed here though..." I trailed off, seeing Alice's latest vision. Edward would be arriving within the hour.

"We'll see. I do have to be at the Dean's so maybe we could meet after," he thought out loud. He looked at Alice and then back at me.

_He'll be here soon? _I nodded. _Ok, thanks. _

Carlisle went to wait for his son and I went back to my room, for lack of anything better to do. Edward pulled up to the house shortly after. I listened to my father and brother intently.

_Oh god. He looks terrible,_ my father thought. _Son?_

I heard this register in Edwards mind. He looked up briefly before getting out of the car. He allowed our father to embrace him for a second, and then pulled away and retreated to his room.

_Edward? _I thought. _You need anything? _

I heard him grunt in reply, no real thought behind it. I walked over to the shelves in my room and grabbed a cd and put it on. It didn't really drown out the air of misery that hung over the house, but at least it gave me something else to focus on. Esme went in to see Edward and he didn't really acknowledge her either. That night I fell asleep early, not having completely shaken the effects of the previous day.

I woke up with a start, there was yelling upstairs. Edward was furious with what I assumed was a suggestion from Carlisle that we just go back. I fell back against my pillow and listened to their squabble and to Edward's thoughts, hoping for a flicker of indecision.

_He's right Edward. This is_ _ridiculous_, I thought to my brother.

_Stay out of this Eleanor. Don't think I don't know why you really want to go back. _

That stung.

_You know what. You're an ass. I don't have anything waiting for me there. YOU DO. If you gave her what she wanted in the first place none of this would be an issue. _

He growled at that and flew down to my doorway. "You have NO IDEA what you are talking about."

_Get out, _I thought angrily.

He stormed back upstairs. The sun was coming up, so I decided it was useless to try and sleep more. I went into the bathroom and brushed and curled my hair to make it presentable, and went to my closet to pick my outfit for my meeting this morning. I picked out a dark grey dress with black tights and boots. I collected my music (that I didn't really need), and several copies of my CV with fictitious accomplishments consistent with what would be required for a human teenager seeking admission to the college' s prestigious music program.

I went downstairs and made coffee, killing time. I considered slipping out now and walking around campus for a while. My father came downstairs, stress plainly visible on his face. He nodded at me as he passed and went outside. I tried not to hear his thoughts to give him some privacy while he processed Edward's state. I figured he wouldn't want to leave early to drive me to campus. I finished my coffee and decided to head to campus early. I decided to leave a note for my parents, making sure Alice saw just in case it went unnoticed.

I grabbed my bag and my keys and got in my car. I had to adjust my seat and mirrors - everything was still set for Carlisle, who was much taller than me. I sped off away from the house. The roads were still pretty empty so I was able to move quickly, listening for radar traps along the way. I glanced at the campus map I had printed to find visitor parking that was relatively close to Lincoln Hall. I strolled around campus until 9:00 before heading back toward Lincoln Hall; reaching the room number I had written down a few minutes later. I was early, so I slipped in quietly and put down my things, sitting down at the piano running through one of the sonatas that I had chosen for today.

One of the instructors arrived, and clapped softly as I finished.

"Ms. Cullen, I presume?" He said. "I'm Dr. Matthews. We will be joined by Dr. Hicks and Dr. Dawling momentarily."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Matthews," I said extending my hand. "I hope you don't mind that I took a moment to warm up."

"Not at all," he said shaking my hand firmly.

The other professors filed in then and introduced themselves. I shook hands with Dr. Hicks first. When I turned to face the third, my eyes widened slightly as I realized that he was not human. I worked to control my expression as I noticed him quickly looking me over. I could hear in his mind how he appreciated the sight of me in front of him. I tried not to blush, and extended my hand to him calmly.

"Eleanor Cullen."

"Christopher Nathaniel Dawling," he replied, grasping my hand in his cool grip. I had to hold in a gasp as his touch sent a charge through my hand like nothing I'd felt before. Judging from the surprise that flashed in his eyes and his thoughts, he'd felt it too.

"Cullen, " he mused over my last name. "Are you any relation to Dr. Cullen, the new professor over at the medical school?" Dr. Dawling asked. I nodded.

"Yes sir, he's my father," I answered. Dr. Dawling raised his eyebrows at this.

"He's quite young, from what I understand," he said speculatively. I had to stifle a laugh, Dr. Dawling looked rather young for his position as well.

"I'm adopted," I said hastily. "It's a long story." He nodded and gestured back toward the piano, indicating that the audition should proceed.

The interview and audition went well, and I was accepted into the music program. When it was over, Dr. Dawling walked me out to the main entrance of the building.

"I look forward to seeing you again, in class, Ms. Cullen," he said, holding my gaze for just a second longer than I was expecting. I looked away awkwardly and thanked him, starting toward the door. I saw through his mind that he was watching me walking away for a long moment.

As I drove back to the house, I considered the curious Professor Dawling. I should probably alert my father to the presence of another vampire on campus, I thought to myself.

When I got home, Edward was sitting on the front steps. He ignored me as I started to walk up them toward the door, but all of a sudden a hand shot out and grabbed my arm. The movement was so fast I nearly lost my balance, and his grip tightened until I was stable.

_Sorry, _he thought. _Sit with me a moment, please? _I nodded and sat down.

_Listen, _he started, _I'm sorry about earlier. And I'm sorry about what happened with Nahuel._

_It wasn't your fault, _I answered him, though I didn't believe it entirely. _We ALL decided to move here._

He looked at me skeptically. _If you say so. _He sighed.

_I'm going away for a while. _

There it was again. That feeling that I'd been punched and couldn't breathe.

_What? We came all the way out here, for you. And now you're going to LEAVE? I cannot believe you. _

He didn't respond.

"You will break their hearts," I said quietly, thinking of the flash I saw in Alice's mine of my parents faces, broken in pain. Now I knew from what.

He grimaced. _I know, but I need to go. _

"You DON'T," I said. "This whole thing was a mistake."

We sat in silence for a moment. "Where will you go?"

He shrugged.

"Have you told them yet?" He nodded.

"Carlisle made me promise to wait until he got home. He's on his way now."

I nodded. I leaned my head on his shoulder. _Be careful, please. I love you. _

_I love you too. _

With that, I got up and headed toward the woods. I didn't want to be in the house when he left.

* * *

Time continued to pass after Edward left, though everything seemed wrong, fractured, somehow. Mom worried constantly; dad was hardly home between teaching and his shifts at the hospital. Jasper was always on campus and Alice researching her human family. Emmett and Rose were talking about another trip.

I threw myself into my classes, and spent free time in the practice rooms of the music department, siting at the piano for hours at a time.

I was practicing late one night shortly after the New Year had brought with it the start of another semester. When I realized how late it had gotten, I grabbed my belongings and made my way toward the exit to return home before my parents worried. As I walked through the building I realized that someone was following behind me.

I whirled around and found Dr. Dawling standing in the hallway. "Ms. Cullen, what are you doing here so late?"

"Lost track of time, I was just on my way out," I said.

"Did you park far?" he asked, sounding genuinely concerned. "It's not a good idea to wonder campus at night, I could accompany you."

Curious, I considered this, but just then heard my father's thoughts approaching. He was coming by to see if I was still here.

"Thank you, but I'm meeting someone nearby," I said, declining his offer.

He seemed disappointed that I turned him down, and thought about pressing the issue, but decided not to. "Good night then."

"Good night." I turned and left as quickly as I could. I didn't want to risk a meeting of my father and the so-called Dr. Dawling. I found myself thinking about what might have happened had my father not been approaching at that moment, and whether I would have agreed to let him walk me to my car.

I met him halfway across the quad. "Ellie!" He called as I approached.

"Hi Daddy!" I said.

"Would you like a ride home?" he asked. "I can bring you back in the morning."

I agreed and we headed toward his car. The next morning he was waiting for me and we rode back to campus together.

"What's on the schedule today?" He asked.

"Music Theory, and then I was thinking about meeting Jazz and sitting in on a Philosophy lecture. My other class was cancelled today."

"I bet Jasper will like that," he said. "Where should I drop you off?" he asked as we turned onto campus.

"Up there is fine," I answered, pointing up ahead a little bit. He parked there so I could get out, and we exchanged our good byes.

"Oh, Ellie, I almost forgot, is it okay if we hunt together tomorrow, instead of tonight? I'm covering a lecture for someone tonight."

"Sure Daddy."

"Thanks. Have a good day sweetheart."

I walked into the lecture hall and took my seat toward the back. The normal teaching assistant wasn't in the front of the class, and instead, Dr. Dawling walked in and stood at the podium. He started his lecture and looked around the room, engaging the students.

He noticed me in the back. _I didn't know Cullen was in this class._

Stupidly, I looked up when I heard my surname in his mind.

_Weird. _He thought. He met my eyes and lingered for a long moment. He impishly cocked an eyebrow while he thought back to his previous observations. My heart rate picked up a bit as he looked at my face, and studied my collarbones and the skin that my shirt revealed. I looked down, but I didn't mind the attention, surprisingly. Still, I was anxious for class to be over. He continued to watch me as he lectured.

As he dismissed the class, he debated asking me to meet him in his office, but decided otherwise. I couldn't tell if he suspected that anything about me was different. I left the lecture hall as quickly as I could without attracting more attention. I was so distracted that I nearly smacked right into Jasper.

"Whoa!" he cried as he grabbed my arms to keep me from hitting him. "Did you really not see me?"

"Sorry Jasper! I was just distracted," I answered.

"I would say so. What's wrong?" He was concerned now.

"Nothing's wrong."

"Okay," he said. "Then what's got you all worked up?"

"I'm not worked up!" I said, unconvincingly.

"Okay," he said again, smirking. "Then WHO has you all worked up?"

"Jasper! Stop. I am not worked up," I huffed and stomped away toward the classroom. He laughed at me all the way to our seats, and shot curious glances at me throughout the whole class.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8. Meetings.

When we got home, Jasper and I separated quickly. He went up to see Alice, and I went out the backdoor. Even though I wasn't hunting tonight, I decided to go for a run to clear my head.

I ran for a while before stopping to sit and think, about ten miles from the house, which was far enough that I couldn't hear anyone, but not so far that they couldn't find me quickly if they wanted to. I didn't want to worry Mom, with Edward already being gone and everything so strained.

I thought about class earlier. I knew I should have mentioned Dr. Dawling to my family weeks ago, and I should probably have been alarmed at his attention. I could not deny that I was flattered, and more than a little fascinated with him as well. I was contemplating this and thinking about going back to the house when I heard footsteps behind me. I turned; expecting to hear the thoughts of one of my family members as the sound got closer, stopping short as the newcomer's mind started to become clearer to me.

_What in the hell is SHE doing out here? Shit. I should get out of here, how am I going to explain running into her in the middle of the woods. She'll think I'm stalking her._

I waited for a second, and when the footsteps didn't retreat, I called out. "Hello?"

_Who is she talking to? Does she know I'm here? She shouldn't have heard me coming. What is going on here?_

I tried not to laugh at his internal monologue. "Hello?" I called again, taking a few steps in his general direction, trying to be careful not to provoke an aggressive response.

_Son of a bitch, I really need to get out of here. I don't want to leave her here in the woods though. Crap._

He blurred around to my left, assuming that I wouldn't notice the movement. I turned, and moved toward him again, faster this time, but stopping far enough away that he hopefully wouldn't attack. He crouched slightly, but gave no indication that he intended to spring.

_Shit. How did she do that?_

I put my hands out in front of me, as if in surrender. "Can you please come out? I know who you are. I know WHAT you are. I just want to talk."

He considered running away, but his curiosity got the best of him and he decided to come forward.

I held out my hand slowly as he came into view. "Dr. Dawling," I said. "It's nice to see you again."

He took my hand cautiously and shook it gently. "I think we're past formalities at this point. Christopher, please," he replied.

I smiled. "Okay, Christopher. Shall we sit?"

He nodded and sat down. I sat across from him, close enough that our knees almost touched. I saw him examining me; he noticed that I was only wearing a T-shirt over my jeans. _She must be freezing, _he thought, as he shrugged out of his jacket, intending to hand it to me.

"Thank you, but I'm fine. That's not necessary," I answered his thoughts and his action.

_Please tell me she cannot read my mind._

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that," I answered his thoughts again with smile.

"So you do read minds?" he asked. I nodded.

"I thought I gave it away earlier. You called me 'Cullen' in your head and I looked up," I said. "I could have kicked myself for doing that."

He laughed. "I assumed that was a fluke."

It was my turn to laugh. Fluke was a good word for me as a rule.

"Not so much," I said.

"So in class today," he said slowly, "and when we met..."

I smirked.

"I swear I don't do that kind of thing with students," he said, looking slightly embarrassed.

"What kind of thing?" I asked, still smirking. "Sleeping with freshmen or..." I raised my eyebrow. "I mean, I can see how a college campus might be rather convenient for a vampire, but it's hardly discreet." I meant this as a joke, though I was genuinely curious about this.

My attempt at humor irritated him. "I do not hunt on campus. Or usually even in the state," he replied tersely.

"Sorry, I was kidding, mostly," I backpedaled quickly.

He rolled his eyes at me. "I don't particularly relish the kill like others do."

I nodded and mentally filed that away for what I hoped would be a later conversation. I looked at him closely for the first time. His hair was dark and rugged looking, and with his jacket off I could see the shape of his muscular chest and arms under his shirt. He had a typically perfect vampire build, strong, not bulky. He noticed my appraisal and was pleased by my apparent interest. I looked at his eyes, and saw the red irises, not covered by brown contacts. The color took me aback for a second. He held my gaze for a long moment in silence.

His eyes moved away from mine, looking at me curiously. "So," he said, "I can't quite figure it out. What _are_ you?'

I grinned. "Half-human, half-vampire."

"I didn't know that was possible," he whispered. "How?"

I raised my eyebrow at him, figuring this was fairly obvious. "Male vampire knocks up human female," I said. "And then there's me."

"Yeah ok," he said, "I figured that out myself. I mean, how would a human survive that?"

"She doesn't," I said darkly. "She didn't."

He nodded, a sad expression taking over. "So your father, Dr. Cullen..." He said slowly. "You're not really adopted then?"

The thought of Carlisle doing that to a human repulsed me. "NO. My father did not do that, he wouldn't." I glared at him for suggesting it and he raised his hands up in surrender.

"Okay, I'm sorry. So do you know who your, _biological_ father is?"

"No." I shook my head. "I've never met him. To my knowledge, no one in my family has sought him out and he has never sought me out."

He motioned for me to go on, wanting to hear more.

"Look, this isn't my favorite conversation to have. My birth killed my biological mother. Somehow, she ended up in front of the hospital where Carlisle worked and he delivered me. He and his wife, Esme, raised me. They are my parents. I have adopted siblings as well. Before me, there were others who joined their family."

"Wow," he said.

I realized that while I was speaking, we both had leaned in closer to one another, our fingers brushing. He lightly took hold of my hand.

"You're very warm," he said softly. "Does this bother you?"

I shook my head. He didn't let go, and we sat like that for a long time, until I looked around and realized the sun was going to be setting soon.

"I really should be getting back," I said reluctantly. "My family might get worried, and if they come looking, I'm not sure how to explain this," I laughed.

"What, randomly meeting your vampire professor in the middle of the forest? What could there be to explain?" he said, laughing with me.

"Yes, well I haven't exactly mentioned the part about the vampire-professor to anyone," I said. I stood, and he did as well. He released my hand, but it almost seemed to pain him to do so.

_I look forward to seeing you again, Ms. Cullen, _he thought with a warm smile.

"Ellie, please. Call me Ellie."

"Okay Ellie. Have a good night." He leaned down and his face was barely inches from mine. He lightly brushed my cheek with his lips, before turning and walking away.

I smiled and sucked in a shaky breath before turning toward home. Alice was waiting for me on the back steps when I got there, her arms crossed and a cold glare darkening her delicate features.

"Hi Alice."

"Eleanor," she replied stiffly.

"Um, something wrong, Alice?"

_Something WRONG? Did you not realize that I would see your entire encounter just now? I was terrified at first that a vampire was stalking you! Why didn't you tell anyone about him?_

I grimaced, listening to the angry tirade blasting in my head.

"Alice, Alice nothing happened! We were just talking for god's sake," I protested.

"Do you have any idea how worried Carlisle and Esme would have been if they knew?" she whispered. _The ONLY reason I didn't say anything is because I saw you coming home. Otherwise I would have been tearing him apart myself._

"ALICE!" I whispered irritably. "He wasn't going to hurt me!"

She glowered at me. _You have to tell Carlisle. _I sighed.

"I know. I will. Tomorrow, when we go hunting," I said.

"You better," she said threateningly. "I'm going out of town for a couple days to follow-up on my research, but I will be watching."

_I swear to god Ellie, don't do anything stupid. They are hurting enough right now as it is._

I looked at her for a long second and then nodded. "Have a good trip, Alice."

* * *

The next night when Dad got home, he almost looked tired. He asked for a moment before we left for our hunt, so I waited for him on the back steps. We walked for a while and I could tell something was bothering him but he was careful not to think about whatever it was, specifically. I waited patiently for him to figure out what it was he wanted to say, but when he started to speak, I froze in horror, realizing immediately what had upset him. He knew.

"I met one of your professors today." His voice was quiet, seething. I'd never heard him speak that way. I swallowed reflexively.

"I guess I know which one," I said with a sharp tone. I regretted my defensive response immediately, and braced for his fury.

"I would not be so quick to take that tone right now, Eleanor," he said. "I assume you know why I am upset with you?"

"Yes," I whispered. I felt like a toddler, suddenly.

"I am floored, utterly stunned, that you did not think to tell me that there was another VAMPIRE on the campus," he said, getting louder. "Does he know about you? He knew who I was. Do you know how dangerous it could have been for the other students if our presence set him off? For Jasper? For me? FOR YOU?"

He stopped and grabbed me by the shoulders, still remarkably gentle despite his anger. I grimaced and looked away; he put his hand under my chin and moved my face back so I was looking at him. "You know better," he said.

Tears filled my eyes; I've never seen him look so disappointed. "I'm sorry Daddy, I am. I - " I was going to blame my failure on Edward leaving and any number of excuses but stopped short. "I messed up," I admitted. "I promised Alice I would tell you tonight."

I went on to tell him about the night before. He fumed. But then he was quiet. He started walking again; I followed. He stopped blocking his thoughts.

_So, are you two… I mean, is there something going on?_

"No." I said. "I think."

He looked confused.

"I don't know? Maybe?"

He laughed a little. "Well that clears it right up then. Ellie, we have to tell your mother."

"Daddy?" I asked.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry. I am. I didn't think."

He looked at me calmly. "I know, sweetheart." We hunted and then went home. I went to my room and mom and dad came in and I told mom everything. She was angry, too, but she forgave me quickly.

She lay down with me as I fell asleep like she did when I was small. I dreamed strange dreams. I was chased by an unknown person in the woods. I turned around and I was in my old bedroom, Nahuel standing there with open arms, only to drop his arms and run away. And then, out of nowhere, it shifted back to the delivery room where I was born. I was screaming before long, the familiar horror of the dream too much for my subconscious to bear.

My mother was still with me when I woke up the next morning. "Morning honey," she said.

"Morning," I said with a groan. I didn't really want to face anyone after being yelled at by my father and then screaming like a child at my dreams in the middle of the night.

"Your dad's gone to work and Rose and Em have gone out," she said with understanding.

"Mom?" I asked. "Have you heard from Edward?"

She kissed me on the head and got up to leave the room. "He will come back," she said.

A little while after she left, I got up and ready for the day. I had Christopher's class again today. I thought about skipping it, but I decided to go, knowing that at least then I could glare at him the whole class. I did exactly that. He was confused by my angry expression and this time he did request that I meet him in his office. I wanted to throw a desk at him. When I got to his office I did not knock. I burst through the door, furious and ready to take all my frustrations out on him.

"You talked to my FATHER?" I cried angrily, my hands balled into fists at my side. "What is WRONG with you? Do you have any idea how angry he is? I hadn't mentioned you to him. You KNEW that-"

"Ellie, Ellie, wait," he said, holding his hands out to me, trying to settle me down. "I'm sorry if I upset him. He sat down next to ME last night. I was not looking for him."

"You really think I believe that?" I shot back, crossing my arms.

He sighed and ran a hand through his tossled hair. I was momentarily distracted by the way his curls fell back into place, nearly blocking his eyes as he looked at the ground. "I wasn't. But I shouldn't have mentioned that I knew you. I'm sorry that I caused you trouble."

"I just thought-" I stopped short, not knowing how to say what I was thinking. He waited for me to finish my thought, prodding me when I didn't speak again.

"You thought what?"

"Never mind," I said, flustered. I didn't want to be discussing this any more and felt stupid for storming in here. I turned to leave his office but before I could blink, he was in front of me.

"Wait, please," he said softly, placing a hand on my face. I couldn't stop myself from leaning into his touch and inhaling his scent. I looked up at him. "I am very, very sorry to have caused you trouble," he said, his eyes probing mine. "I want very much to get to know you better."

I stood there, mesmerized as he leaned in closer. He moved so slowly I could hear the seconds passing, and then his lips were on mine, lightly at first and then more insistent. I leaned into him, not caring to fight his advance, despite the trouble it was sure to cause. I kissed him back earnestly.

He snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me in tighter, lifting me off my feet. I felt the door suddenly behind my back and his hands moved down to my legs, moving them apart so that they were around his waist and he was so much closer to my center.

I tangled my hands in his hair, grinding my hips against him. He thought fleetingly of ending the encounter then, but I didn't want him to stop. Holding me up with one hand, he palmed my breast with another, and then moved his hand under my shirt and bra. His cold touch sent electric waves across my skin and I responded by moving harder against him.

He unfastened his pants and lifted my skirt and entered me, slowly at first. I writhed against him, desperate for release and he mercifully picked up speed. He moved us over to the desk and lay back so I could ride him, which I did urgently, moaning quietly. He touched my breasts and thought about the sight of me losing it over him, which sent me careening over the edge, and he followed. He recovered and I continued moving over him, coming again and again before finally collapsing on him.

"I didn't think that kind of thing was allowed," I said with an awkward giggle, my head against his chest.

"It's frowned upon," he said trying to sound serious. He moved us so that we were sitting together on the floor against the desk. I realized then that his office did have windows. He was lazily tracing his fingers down my back and I shivered from the sensation. He looked down at me, concerned. "Are you cold?"

"No, I'm fine, that feels good," I answered quickly.

He smirked then, and I heard the thought forming in his head. "I rather got the impression," he said slowly, "that you came here because you were angry with me. Please feel free to be mad at me whenever you'd like."

I laughed in spite of of myself. "I was mad at you. But you started it you know."

He nodded. "I'm very glad I did," he said, his red eyes sparkling a bit. "I meant what I said though, I want to know you. I did not just say that so that we would, um..." he trailed off but waved his hand in front of him alluding to our encounter.

I didn't answer at first. He noticed my hesitation. "Unless of course you would prefer me to stay away. I understand if that's the case."

I shook my head. "No. I don't want you to do that. I'm just...ok, I don't know how to say this without sounding really, _really,_ human and ridiculous."

He waited.

"I sort of just got out of a, um, relationship for lack of a better word. We never really defined it actually, but it was intense and ended abruptly when he didn't want to come here with my family. Our move happened very quickly."

He processed this. "You still have feelings for him."

"No," I said firmly. "Honestly I'm not even sure what it was, our time together. I've known him since I was small; he's a hybrid like me. He has an aunt back home in the Amazon and he wanted to go back there." I said all of this very quickly, not looking up while I spoke. "I haven't really talked about any of this since we left."

"Did you love him?" I could feel the tension in his muscles as he waited for my response.

"Maybe?" I hedged. "I'm not in love with him now, that I am sure of." He relaxed at this and I smiled to myself, pleased that this answer seemed to satisfy him.

We sat quietly for a while, until his voice broke through the silence. "Ellie, I have to get to another class soon. Are you going to be on campus later?"

"I was going to spend some time-"

"In the practice halls?" He cut me off, smiling as he guessed what I was about to say. "Good, I will come find you. I'd like to hear you play some more."

He helped me up and we dressed. He pulled me into a long embrace before kissing me softly, brushing my hair out of my face. "See you later," he breathed against my lips.

I smiled and nodded, not sure I could find words. I left his office and went back to my car to collect myself.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9. Beginning.

I leaned my head back against the headrest and replayed the last few hours in my head, which did nothing to settle my brain. I turned the radio on and listened for a bit, and my thoughts wandered back to last night. I felt terrible for upsetting my dad so much and I was sure that whatever was going on now with Christopher would only complicate things further.

Nonetheless, I was looking forward to seeing him again later. It would be nice to have some company that didn't all live in the same house with me. I thought about what I said earlier about Nahuel. We really had never discussed what our relationship was. There were no emotional overtures. It just was. It fit. I was hurt and angry when he didn't come with us, but there had been no commitment and I picked up my life and had been okay. I missed him sometimes, but tried not to allow my mind to dwell too much on it. I didn't want to subject Jasper to another mopey family member or worry my parents.

A knock on my window made me jump so hard I hit my head. Jasper. I opened the window and rubbed the top of my head.

"Hi Jazz."

"Hi," he said looking at me inquisitively. I heard him musing to himself as he sampled my mood; he was alarmed that I once again didn't realize he was nearby.

"Jasper, knock it off," I protested.

He shook his head and walked around to the passenger side of the car. He got in and turned to me, "Fess up sis. What in the hell is going on with you?"

"Nothing," I said, answering too quickly.

"Bullshit," he replied sharply. "I know about the professor. Carlisle was still ranting about it to Esme while you were sleeping. Alice told me about it as well. But there's more now." He stopped, and I heard him piece it all together in his mind.

"_He_'s the guy isn't he? There is something going on. That's what had you so distracted!" he exclaimed, figuring it out.

"Jasper! Please don't say anything," I pleaded.

"Didn't you just get reamed out for keeping secrets?" he asked incredulously.

"I...it's not a secret...I mean," I stammered, not sure what to say. "I don't know what it is yet okay? Christ."

He sighed, looking at me with a concerned expression. "Really though, are you okay? You're not just jumping into something because of Nahuel, right?"

"I'm okay, I think. That's kind of what I was thinking before you came along and scared the crap out of me."

"You understand why everyone is so freaked out, right? I mean; Nahuel was one thing. It made sense once we all thought about it, but no one really expected it to happen, at least not so quickly."

"I'm glad you all spend so much time analyzing me. It's not fair you know, even Edward didn't get this much scrutiny!" I whined.

He rolled his eyes. "His situation is different. Vastly."

"I guess," I huffed. "But still, I'm not a little kid, and I'm not an idiot. And while I appreciate the need for honesty and all that in our family, it would be nice if just for like five minutes something could just be mine, you know?"

"I get that. That was a huge adjustment for me you know, when we joined the family. Well, not huge in comparison to other adjustments," he said that with a slight grimace. "You know what I mean. But you _are_ an adult, you're right. Sometimes it will be hard for us to remember that. You need to find your own middle ground within the family."

"I know," I said. "It's a lot, you know, growing up a Cullen, and being the one that can most easily blend in and be _normal_," I emphasized the word with loathing. "That sounds really bratty, doesn't it?"

Jasper smiled and shook his head. "Nope, it sounds normal."

I sighed. "Thanks Jasper. Is Alice coming home tonight? She sent you to come check on me didn't she?"

"She is, and she did not. I saw you sitting here and thought that was odd, I just wanted to make sure you were all right. Are you headed home now?"

I looked at the time. "Yea, for a bit. I'm coming back in a couple hours to practice though."

He made a face. "Practice huh? We have a piano in the house, you know."

"I know. But it's _his_. I don't want to play it right now." It had been several months since Edward had left, and I still did not want to play his piano. Mom would probably love it if I did, but it made me sad. I started driving toward home, and decided that when we arrived I would speak to my father if he was home.

When we got there, Mom had gone to hunt with Rosalie, and Jasper joined Emmett playing video games, waiting for Alice to return home later this evening.

I crept up the stairs and stood in front of my father's study, hesitating. "Come in, Eleanor," he said.

I peeked around the door. "Hi," I said.

"Hello," he replied, setting his book down.

"Do you have a second?" He nodded.

"I wanted to apologize again to you. I know that things have been hard," I began, not really wanting to mention my brother's name. "And I never meant to make it worse."

He stood from behind his desk and motioned for me to come sit with him on the sofa. "I know Ellie, I'm sorry as well. I think I took out some of my _other_ frustrations on you last night, and that wasn't fair. While I was certainly angry at your lack of forethought and disclosure, I should not have been quite so harsh."

"Daddy, it's okay, I deserved it. That's kind of why I'm here now. You asked me last night if there was anything, um, _going on_ between me and Christopher," I paused, praying he would see where I was going with this so I wouldn't have to finish my thought out loud. He raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. You said maybe, as I recall. Has something changed?" he asked, carefully.

"It seems like it. Please don't ask for details, but I didn't want you to be blindsided-again."

"Thank you Ellie. You don't really need my permission for these things, you know. I was far more concerned with the possibility that he might be a danger, to our ability to blend in discreetly, or more importantly, to you. But I appreciate you telling me." He paused and made a face. "Believe me, I will _not_ ask for details."

I laughed at that. He continued, "I know privacy is hard to come by here, but that doesn't mean you're not entitled to it if you want more, I hope you know that."

I nodded. "Jasper and I talked about that a little bit earlier. It helped, I think."

"Good," he said, kissing my forehead. "Are you going back to campus this evening?"

"Am I that predictable?" I asked. "Yes, I am."

He shook his head, "Okay. Don't worry, we won't wait up, so to speak, of course."

"Oh god," I said, covering my face with my hands. "And with that, I'm going to go say hello to Mom before I go. Night Dad."

"Goodnight, Ellie."

I heard Mom in my parents' bedroom, so I headed upstairs and popped my head in. "Mom?"

"Come on in, sweetie." She was sitting on their bed, and held her arms out for me to come sit by her. As I did, she wrapped me in a hug. "I heard what you said to your father. I love you, baby."

"I love you too, Mom. I want to apologize to you as well. I never meant to hurt either of you."

"I know honey," she said. "You are our little anomaly. It's hard to remember that you are an adult, but it's also so easy to forget just how young you are, and how much being in the family must burden you at times. I know you work hard to 'blend in,' but please know that we are all responsible for that, it's not just your job."

"You sound like Jasper," I said. "Thank you Mom."

She gave me another gentle squeeze and then released me, turning to face me instead. "So, do you think the rest of us will get to meet Mr. Vampire Professor sometime soon?"

"Mom!" I protested. "I don't even know what to make of things yet, I'm not sure I'm ready to subject him to a Cullen Interrogation."

"Aw, come on Ellie, we won't bite!" Emmett said from downstairs.

"Shut up Emmett!" I shouted down to him.

I said goodbye to my mother and ran to my room to change before heading back to campus. I shivered slightly, thinking about the last time these clothes were removed. I would not regret if that happened again later, I thought to myself.

I grabbed a nude-colored, strappy lace top that highlighted my curves nicely, and some dark, tight, skinny jeans. I found dark red heels that would surely make Alice proud. I grabbed a jacket and checked my hair. I decided to pull it back into a messy pony tail, letting my long coppery curls fall down my back, and leaving some strands hanging down around my face. I left without inspection from my brothers, for which I was grateful.

The campus was quiet. I slipped into the Music Department building and headed down toward the practice halls, picking a small room with a piano and closing the door. I felt a little silly playing here tonight, assuming that he would come by like he said. But I was quickly engrossed in the music, it felt like I was channeling all the stress and confusion of the last few days - or hell, the last few months - into the keys.

I hadn't been playing for long when I heard his thoughts, he had been in his office, his last class already finished, and he slowly made his way toward me, listening intently. I was excited to know that I would actually see him tonight. I kept playing even when I felt his presence standing in the doorway. When I finished the piece, he clapped.

"That," he said, "was exquisite. I'm not sure what you expect us to teach you."

"Thank you," I whispered shyly. He came to sit beside me on the bench.

"Can you play something else?" he asked, his own voice barely a whisper. I could feel his breath on my neck. I began to play a piece that I hadn't heard in a long time. He sat there mesmerized by the song, scarcely breathing until I finished.

"That was beautiful. I do not believe I have heard it before," he said.

"It was written by my brother, for our mother," I said. "I haven't heard in a while."

He kissed me then. It was very slow and tender, not like our earlier meeting. "I meant what I said," he repeated when he broke it off, his hand on my face, his thumb stroking my cheek softly. "I want to know you. I must say though," he eyed my body, "you are making it exceedingly difficult to concentrate."

"Well," I said when I could speak, "What would you like to know?"

He thought for a moment. "How old are you?"

Crap, I thought as I realized that I hadn't explained that to him. "Um," I hesitated, "I celebrated my seventh birthday this past spring."

"Seventh?" he asked, his eyes widening in surprise. "Did I hear you correctly?"

I quickly explained the accelerated growth of hybrids, and how it ceases at seven years. "Does that bother you?" I asked shyly.

He processed for a long second. "No. Clearly, you are not a child."

I breathed a relieved sigh. "How old are you?"

"Two-hundred and fifty-one, this past November," he said with a smirk. "Does that bother _you_?"

I shook my head. He smiled. We both turned our heads toward the sound of human footsteps very nearby. He put his finger to his lips.

_Cleaning crew,_ he thought. _Would you be interested in continuing this conversation elsewhere? _

I nodded.

_I have a house nearby. It's comfortable; you are welcome to stay the night. I don't mean that in a creepy way. _He winked. _Do you sleep? _

I nodded again, smiling at the invitation. Not that I was at all sleepy.

_Let's go then._

He picked up my bag for me and gestured for me to go first. We walked through the building and out into the chilly night. "It's not far," he said, taking my hand. We walked about half a mile off campus and he led me toward a beautiful two-story house. He opened the door and showed me in, offering to take my jacket.

When I turned to face him he sucked in a breath. "_Very _hard to concentrate." He showed me into the living room, and we sat together on the sofa. He held his arm out to me, inviting me to sit closer; I curled up next to him, my head against his shoulder.

"So," I said, "where did we leave off?" He thought for a moment, lazily rubbing my arm as he considered forgetting the inquisition. His curiosity got the best of him, however. He asked about my parents and siblings. We talked about Edward and Bella and the events that brought us here.

He told me about his past as well. "I was 21 when I was turned. I lived in Boston and fought in the Revolutionary War before becoming a vampire. I continued to fight after I changed." He told me how his mother had trained him in music, and the passion had always remained. He spent many years as a traveling musician before taking to teaching. He trailed off, remembering something he wanted to ask. "Tell me about the eyes, your father's I mean."

He listened to me explain our lifestyle with skepticism but also interest. "I think," he said, "that I might like to try a hunt with you sometime." I smiled at this.

"Have you ever had human blood?" he asked me.

"Only donated blood when I was an infant. My father wasn't sure what to feed me at first but that seemed most logical. He also incorporated human food, which I can tolerate as well." I yawned against my will, and cursed my stupid human traits.

"You're tired. Come upstairs," he said, leading me to the stairs. We got to what I assumed was his room. "If you'd like, I can lend you a shirt to sleep in."

I tried to control my expression, but I knew he saw my confusion. He kissed my forehead. "I didn't bring you here to seduce you, you know." He handed me a clean white shirt and slipped his fingers under my top. "I would be willing to assist you however," he said as he leaned in to kiss me, removing my shirt and bra.

I kicked off my shoes and removed my jeans. "I don't really need the shirt," I said with a grin. I climbed into the bed, naked. He smiled and undressed, climbing in with me. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close, kissing my hair. He made no move to do anything further, though I could feel that he was more than ready to. Surprisingly I did sleep, quite well actually. I woke up to the sun filling the room, he hadn't moved from my side. I rolled over to face him.

"Good morning," he said and kissed me deeply.

"Mmm," I mumbled. "Morning." He kissed me again, and moved his lips down my neck and shoulders. His arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me close to him. We made love slowly, engrossed in each other for most of the morning, stopping after a few hours. He held me tightly against him, neither of us speaking for several minutes before he finally spoke.

"Do you need to go home?"

"Probably," I said with a sigh. I debated my next question before taking a deep breath and asking. "Would you like to come with me?"

He smiled at this, and I heard in his mind that he was amused slightly by my hesitance. "Will they be upset that you've brought me home after being out all night?"

"Upset? No. They knew I was seeing you last night. I'm sure Emmett is waiting for me with some 'walk of shame' zingers though," I said chuckling.

"Well, as long at it won't be problematic for you," he said, leaning to kiss me again, "I would very much like to meet the rest of your family."

I smiled. "I guess we have to get up first, though." He sighed; releasing me so we could get up.

A little while later we drove up to the house, and sure enough Rose and Emmett were waiting out front. Emmett was firing rude comments to me in his mind. I cursed under my breath and Christopher looked over at me.

"My brother. He's being an ass."

"Ah," he said. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No it's fine. That's just how he is."

We got out and walked up the front stairs. Christopher introduced himself to Emmett. Emmett eyed him skeptically for a moment and then shook his hand. "Emmett Cullen, nice to meet you." He gestured to Rose. "This is Rosalie," he said, and clapped Christopher on the arm and showed us in.

"Carlisle and Esme should be back soon," said Alice as she came down the stairs.

"Hi Alice," I said going over to hug her. "Did you have a good trip?"

"I did, I will tell you about it later," she said.

"Hello Christopher, I'm Alice," she said. Jasper came down as well, and introduced himself.

"So _you're_ the mysterious professor that's had my sister all worked up," he said with a grin. I threw a throw pillow at him.

After a few minutes of friendly small talk, my siblings dispersed. Christopher and I sat down to wait for my parents. "That went well enough, don't you think?" he asked.

"It wasn't bad. They will save the inquisition for when you've left," I said smiling. I leaned back against him, with my feet up on the couch. We sat like that for a while before we heard my father's car pull up. We went to wait for them by the door.

"Hello, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen," Christopher said as my parents came in.

"Hello Christopher, it's very nice to meet you," my mother said, greeting him with a warm smile.

My father shook his hand. "Good to see you again Christopher. Welcome to our home."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10. Invitation

They led us back into the sitting room and we sat and talked for a while. Christopher, much to my embarrassment, gushed over my musical prowess, and my parents both beamed. I wanted to crawl under a chair.

Carlisle asked about his history, and lit up when Christopher started telling tales of his early vampire days, fighting in the war.

"You know," Carlisle said, "I have an old friend from those days, named Garrett. He and I met during the Siege of Yorktown." I liked Garrett; he was a lot of fun. He fell in love with one of our cousins a few years ago, Kate from Denali, and has been living with them in Denali ever since.

Christopher laughed. "I know Garrett! In fact, I met him shortly after that battle, I remember him telling me about a strange yellow-eyed fellow that he made acquaintance with there."

Carlisle invited Christopher up to his study and called Jasper to come join them. I didn't expect to see them again for many hours; they were having too much fun geeking out on history and American war stories.

My mother looked at me and laughed. "I guess that's it then, huh?"

I smiled. "Apparently!"

The phone rang then. Esme snatched it up impossibly quick. "Hello?"

I listened to the conversation - it was Edward. She flew up to Carlisle's study to give him the phone.

She came down after a few minutes; phone in hand. Just like that he was gone again. "He is heading to South America to continue his pursuit of Victoria. He asked me to send his love," she said, sadly.

I sighed. "It be nice if he just sent his ass back here," I said.

"Ellie," my mother said with a warning tone. She doesn't like it when I used 'Emmett language.'

I sat down next to her and started flipping through the channels on the TV. I settled on 'Love Actually,' which she and I both loved. When that ended, Rosalie came down to sit with us as well. I hadn't spent much time with her lately. She sat next to me and draped her arm around my shoulders. She was pricklier than my other sister, but she was fiercely protective of me when she thought she needed to me. She found a 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' marathon, so we watched that for a while. Oddly, all the girls in the family loved this show.

"Esme," said Rosalie after a few episodes, "did you tell Ellie about the Denali trip yet?"

"What Denali trip?" I asked, looking at my mother and sister. I hadn't been there in a couple of years.

"Tanya invited us up to stay in a couple of weeks, your father and I thought that might be a nice change of pace for everyone," Mom explained.

"That sounds lovely. When are we leaving?" I asked.

"Two weeks from tomorrow, I think," she said. "We're going to drive out, which will take a couple of days."

I nodded. "Sounds good."

"She called first thing this morning," she went on with a smile. "Carlisle mentioned to her that you might want to bring Christopher. Tanya said that the invitation is of course extended to him as well."

"That's so nice of them," I said, though I was inwardly nervous about asking Christopher to make such an extensive journey with me. "I will mention it, but I wouldn't expect him to come," I hedged.

She nodded with understanding. "Well, I hope you will join us either way."

I was getting tired, and it was getting late. The boys were still upstairs talking. "I think I'm going to go to bed. If Christopher ever emerges, can you show him where my room is? I won't dare interrupt whatever's going on up there."

"Sure we will," Rosalie said with a wink. "Goodnight, Ellie."

"Goodnight sweetheart" my mother said.

I climbed the stairs slowly and walked down the hall toward my room. I could hear them carrying on loudly in the study, still telling stories. I hadn't had much time to explain our family's individual histories in detail, so I was glad Christopher was getting a chance to hear some of that directly from my father and brothers.

When I got to my room I found some pajamas - simple shorts and a tank top - and crawled into bed. I fell asleep quickly and didn't stir until a few hours later when I heard Christopher creep in.

"Ellie?" he whispered.

"Hi," I whispered back, rolling over. I don't really know why we were whispering, it's not like they couldn't hear us. I laughed slightly at my own thought.

"What's funny?" he said.

"The whispering," I said with a giggle.

"Ah, you're right I guess," he chuckled. He took off his shirt and jeans and got in next to me. "Go back to sleep, I'm sorry I woke you."

I kissed him softly. "I don't mind," I said, placing my hand on his face, and combing my fingers through his hair. "You guys sounded like you were having a good time."

"Were you listening?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

I grinned at him. "Not intentionally. But I couldn't _not_ hear some of it," I replied.

"I suppose not. That reminds me," he said. "I heard Esme tell you about the Denali trip. When are you leaving?"

"Two weeks," I replied shyly, my eyes dropping from his face to his shoulder. I said I would invite him but I wasn't sure how. I felt stupid and awkward suddenly.

I felt his fingers under my chin, urging me to look back at him. When I looked up, he spoke. "Well, Carlisle mentioned it to me as well, he said I was welcome to come along. I thought I might take them up on the invitation," he said softly, smiling. "Only if you want me to, of course. I won't be offended if you want to spend the time alone with your family."

"You'll come?" I asked with surprise. "Really?" He laughed at my reaction.

"Of course I will. I hope it's okay that I brought it up. Jasper mentioned that you may be, um, hesitant to ask after..." he said gently, trailing off. "I thought it might make it easier if you knew I was in."

I hugged him, not sure what to say. "I'm very glad that you would like to come. Thank you."

"I am you know," he said seriously, his eyes suddenly intense, burning into mine. "_In._" I was vaguely aware of this catching Jasper's attention, which I thought was strange. But before I could think about it more, he was kissing me, and I was quickly caught up in his attention, and we ended the day in much the same way as it began.

When I woke up, he was still holding me, tracing his fingers up and down my arm. I rolled over and smiled at him. He kissed me, "Good morning," he said against my lips. "Did you sleep well?"

"Most definitely," I said. He leaned in to kiss me again and we fooled around for a while before I pulled my face back from his for a moment. "What do you have planned today?"

"Well, I'd like to run home and grab a change of clothes, and then I need to head to campus. I have a meeting with a few of the other professors."

"On a Saturday?" I asked. He nodded, his fingers brushing my hair back behind my ear.

"I can come back when I'm done if you'd like," he said. I smiled, and then heard Alice immediately making plans for my day.

"Yes, please do. Alice is already claiming my whole day. I may need you to rescue me."

He laughed. "You know, that's all going to take some getting used to. The mind reading I can deal with, but the fortune-telling stuff? That's crazy."

I really liked the idea of him getting used to that. Alice huffed, "I am NOT a fortune teller!"

A little while later, after I had taken Christopher home, Alice wanted to plan the Denali trip - travel logistics, clothes, we discussed it all. Why we needed to sort through my wardrobe two weeks in advance - hell, why SHE needed to clear what I packed at all - was a mystery to me. She decided my closet was lacking some "essentials," she called them, so she immediately got on her laptop and ordered them for express delivery. I didn't want to know what she was ordering, but I did see that most of it did not look suited to the Alaskan climate.

"Alice!" I protested. "Why are you ordering me underwear for Christ's sake? I am capable of handling that myself." She shook her head and clicked 'Order.'

"Too late!" she answered me with a giggle. She moved on to another website, and I lay back on her bed with a defeated sigh. There was really no stopping her when she got on a kick about something.

"You know, Jasper really likes him," she said without looking at me, fingers still flying over the keyboard. "Carlisle too."

"Good," I said, turning my head to look at her.

She continued cautiously, "I know you don't buy into the mate-stuff, but something he said to you last night really registered with Jasper."

"I noticed that," I said.

Alice raised her eyebrows at me.

"Okay," I said, "I noticed it for a second." She giggled.

"Anyway, Jazz said he thinks that, maybe-"

"Alice, stop." I cut her off, holding my hand up. "I don't want to talk about this. Not yet anyway. Please."

_Maybe he's your mate, Ellie. _She finished her thought in her head despite my request. "It's okay if you don't feel that way for him," she said gently.

I shook my head. "That's not it. This is different than with Nahuel; that I am sure of. But," I paused, not sure how to continue, "it feels wrong, almost. I'm very happy, but with everything that's happened, it…"

"You are allowed to be happy. Edward made his own bed," she made a face, "and he has to live with that. Hopefully he will get his shit together and fix it."

"Thanks Alice," I said.

The next two weeks passed without incident. Christopher and I alternated spending time with my family and time alone at his house. I relished the peace and quiet of having only his thoughts in my head (while I could "hear" the thoughts of other people in the area, I was not familiar with their minds and could easily tune it out), but enjoyed the time we spent with the family as well. He settled in among them easily and his energy seemed to uplift them just a bit, a slight distraction from the gaping hole Edward's absence left in our family.

We were planning to leave at night, and begin the drive into Canada and head Northwest into Alaska. It would take a little over two days driving straight through. Christopher and I would ride together in my car; he would be able to drive for longer stretches since he doesn't require sleep.

He arrived on our doorstep around 9pm, having packed his belongings for the trip. He had made arrangements for another teacher to cover his lectures; we planned to be there for about 3 weeks, and part of the trip conveniently overlapped with the University's Spring Break.

He let himself in and peeked into my room. "Holy shit," he said, taking in the mess that had overtaken. Alice came in earlier and tore the pieces she had decided I needed two weeks prior and threw them across my bed to pack. On top of that, she dumped the packages of new items that she'd hidden away in her room until it was time to pack.

"Ellie!" She shouted to me. "Why aren't you packed yet?"

"Alice! Have you SEEN the mess you've made? I don't even know where to start!" I whined.

I sighed, resigned to the task ahead of me, and went into my closet to grab my bags. "Do you need help?" Christopher asked, hoping I would say no.

"No, no, run while you can," I said waving him off, "before the she-devil puts you to work too." He smiled, kissed me, and went off to find Emmett and Jasper.

Ten minutes later, everything was packed neatly away in my bags. I picked them up to take them down to my car, but Christopher appeared in the doorway and held out his hands. He took my bags in one hand and his in the other and went down to the garage to pack my car.

I grabbed my keys, purse and phone and headed downstairs. Everyone else was gathered, more or less ready to go. Carlisle reviewed the basic route, though sometimes when making cross-country drives we deviate slightly, depending on whether Alice sees anything potentially problematic. We left in 15-minute intervals to avoid a long, obvious, procession of vehicles.

Christopher and I left first; he was driving. We figured we would switch off in the morning. Emmett and Rose followed in Emmett's Jeep and the rest left in Carlisle's Mercedes. The drive was uneventful. I slept for a fair amount of it, and traded off with Christopher as planned while I was awake. He was excited to meet our extended family, and equally excited to see his acquaintance, Garrett, again.

When we arrived at the Denali coven's expansive home, they all filed out to greet us. Tanya, Kate, Irina and Carmen all ran over and to hug me and introduce themselves to Christopher. Eleazar and Garrett greeted us as well.

As we all settled in to our guest rooms, I rolled my eyes as I heard the blonde sisters, Kate, Irina and Tanya, whispering about Christopher. They all had a tendency to be aggressive in their pursuit of male company. Tanya was always particularly set on Edward, however he never returned her interest. She was somewhat disappointed that he hadn't returned to accompany us on this trip, though Carlisle made it very clear that he didn't even know we were coming.

It sounded like the rest of the family was going to go hunt. Garrett asked if we wanted to go to - he had already made Christopher promise that he would give animal hunting a go while we were here. We declined, decided to go out on our own later.

"Can I interest you in a shower?" he asked suggestively.

"Sounds lovely," I responded. He snaked his arms around my waist, lifting me for an intense kiss and carrying me like that to the bathroom. He undressed me slowly, taking care to pay attention to areas that he was disrobing as he went. He turned the water on and waved me in, and he took his clothes off quickly.

He climbed in and wasted little time pulling me to him under the scalding water. I groaned as he slipped his fingers inside me, moving them in and out. He took a breast in his other hand, groping it and then pulling my nipple into his mouth. He sucked hard and I cried out at the sensations. I came hard, writing against his hand with my back pressed back against the wall of the shower.

He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I lowered myself slowly onto him, gasping at the feeling of his cold hardness inside of me. He moaned loudly as I moved against him, and his hands grabbed my ass to pull me against him harder.

"Oh god," I said with a gasp. Another climax was starting to wash over me, and he slowed our pace slightly to draw it out longer. "Oh please, I need to-" I moaned into his shoulder.

The sound of my pleading sent him over the edge and he drove into me, pressing me against the wall so firmly I could hardly move. My climax followed his by scarcely a second, and we moaned and gasped loudly.

After several long moments, he set me down and proceeded to wash and condition my hair, and then washed the rest of my body. I repeated the actions for him and we rinsed off under the stream of hot water. After we dried and dressed, he pulled me to him again.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," I said, smiling at him.

"I wanted to tell you something while we are alone. I meant to tell you before that," he nodded toward the bathroom, "but I got a bit carried away."

"No complaints here," I said.

He chuckled and took a deep breath, seeming almost nervous. Before I could react, confused by his apparent anxiety, he said, "I love you, Eleanor."

If he hadn't been holding on to me I might have been unstable for a moment as the words caught me by surprise. I hadn't thought this beforehand really, but as I responded, I knew I could do so without doubt.

"I love you, too," I said.

We might have gotten carried away again had it not been for the return of my family members. Not wanting to be rude, we reluctantly headed downstairs to spend time with everyone.

As we walked down the stairs, Jasper shot me a curious look. I felt him studying me for a few seconds, all while reciting Immanuel Kant in his head in German. I met his gaze again and he smiled at me broadly. My father did not miss this, of course, and shot me an inquisitive look.

_What was that about?_

I shrugged my shoulders, feigning ignorance. Thankfully he let it go.

We sat with the family and talked for a long time. He and Garrett entertained with stories of their adventures together. Christopher and I decided to go hunting before turning in for the night. Carlisle and Garrett decided to tag along, since this would be Christopher's first crack at the "vegetarian" diet.

I went first, taking out a large black bear that was more than enough for me. Whenever Carlisle and I hunted together, he had a tendency to get a little anxious when I went for large animals. It amused me that this anxiety persisted, even though I was fully grown, and more than strong enough to hunt even a fierce grizzly.

Christopher spotted another bear and, after a second's hesitation, took off after it. He leapt and tackled it with a roar, and drained it quickly. Afterward he stood there for a moment, as if he was assessing how his body was reacting to the animal blood.

"That wasn't nearly as bad as I thought," he finally said with a grin. When he walked back over to us, Carlisle clapped him on the shoulder. Christopher took down a wolf and a moose before decided that he was sated. He was a little worried that he would struggle with the cravings for human blood, but over the next several days he did well, and managed with surprising ease.

A few days later, Carlisle and Esme decided to take a hunting trip together, and were getting ready to leave as I was heading to bed for the night. I said goodbye and wished them a good trip. Christopher was involved in a lofty debate about philosophy with Jasper. I kissed him goodnight and went up to bed.

I had been asleep for quite a while when I started to have what I thought was a very real, and terrifying dream. I woke with a start, and realized that it wasn't a dream after all, but a horrible vision. I heard Alice shout, "Bella don't!" before she emerged from her almost trance-like state.

I jumped out of bed and flew up to Alice's room. "Alice?" I asked, alarmed. "What WAS that?"

"Bella," she gasped, her eyes wide with terror. "She's going to kill herself."

Christopher was behind me in an instant and I fell back against him. "Why would she do that? Can we stop her?"

Alice shook her head, and immediately started whirling around her room, collecting her things like she was about to leave.

"ALICE!" I shouted.

She turned to me with a grief stricken expression. "I don't know, I think I will be too late, but I'm going."

Jasper was there now. "Alice, we can't interfere. You promised him," he protested.

She ignored this. "I love you Jasper, I will call when I know something."

She flew down the stairs and grabbed Carlisle's car key. I had barely been able to focus before she was nearly out the door. "Alice, wait! Let me come with you!"

She was out the door and starting the car before I finished the sentence. Christopher hugged me to him. "Say the word, and we will get in the car," he whispered.

I shook my head. "She would have waited if..." I trailed off.

He led me back to our room and tucked me back into bed. I started to cry, feeling helpless and hoping against everything I had that Alice's vision was wrong. I thought of Edward and felt sick, if leaving her broke him, her death would kill him. Christopher held me close all night, wiping tears away and kissing my forehead gently until I finally fell back asleep, exhausted.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11. Homecoming.

The next day I paced anxiously, waiting for news from Alice. She had to be there by now, I thought as evening approached. As the sky darkened and with no word from Alice, I tried calling her. No answer.

I sighed and lay back on the bed, curled up into Christopher's side. "I wish she would call," I said sadly.

"She will," he said, kissing my head. "Maybe, she's trying to change something so that her vision _doesn't_ come true," he went on hopefully.

I held onto that thought, though I didn't really believe it. I slept fitfully that night, anxious for the next day to arrive and hopefully bring news.

I woke a few times and fell back asleep quickly, I was vaguely aware of most of the day passing before finally waking up. I heard Christopher talking with Jasper. Alice had called him the night before as she got closer to Forks - Jasper had gone out to hunt when she called. At that point, her vision had not changed.

I gasped a sob into my pillow, before composing myself enough to get out of bed. I showered and dressed and sat down on the top step. Rosalie was downstairs making a call. I didn't realize who she was calling until it was too late. I wasn't even paying attention until just before she hung up.

"She's gone, Edward. This needs to end. Come home," she said into the phone. I ran down the stairs.

"ROSALIE?!" I cried. "What are you DOING? We haven't even heard from Alice yet!"

"Ellie, don't be ridiculous. You heard Jasper. The vision didn't change, even with her decision to GO. She's DEAD." Rosalie said tersely. "There's no reason for his ridiculous crusade now. It's time for us to be whole again."

I glared at her, my mouth open in shock. I didn't even register Christopher at my side for several long moments. The phone rang, Rosalie answered quickly.

I heard Alice's voice on the other end. She was angry and it took me all of half a second to figure out why. Edward was going to kill _himself_.

"Oh my god," I gasped. I again needed to lean on Christopher for support. "He's going to the Volturi."

Christopher led me to the couch, afraid that I wasn't able to stand. "What can we do?" he asked my siblings. Emmett and Rosalie were huddled in a corner. She was frantically trying to call my parents to tell them they needed to get back as quickly as possible.

"Carlisle, it's Edward, you need to get back here as quickly as possible," she said in a message.

"Christ, Rosalie," I said, focusing again suddenly. "He's going to panic when he hears that." My father rarely panicked about anything, but that would do it.

"Well what do you want me to DO Ellie? Edward is going to the Volturi to die, I'd say that deserves a little panic!" she yelled at me.

I cringed into Christopher at her words, and returned to my previous silence. He rocked me gently.

The phone rang again; it was my father's number. I broke free of Christopher's hold and snatched it before Rosalie could.

"Daddy," I said.

"Ellie, what's happened, we're on our way."

"It's Edward. He thinks Bella is dead. He's going to the Volturi." I couldn't form the words to explain the rest.

"The Volturi? Why?" he asked, and then it dawned on him. "Oh my god," his voice broke.

Jasper was waiting on the steps when they arrived a few minutes later, ready to calm them both.

Emmett and Rosalie decided to head to the airport to try and bring Edward back. Jasper was arguing with Alice on the phone, she was already on a plane. He hung up suddenly and ran after Rosalie and Emmett to keep them from going - it would only make Edward move faster.

Not long after Carlisle and Esme returned, we decided to leave Denali and head back to Forks. Christopher quickly gathered our things and came to get me when the car was packed. "Come on, honey," he said carefully, "let's go."

We said our goodbyes to our cousins and sped off toward Washington. I stared absently out the window, thinking back to when we left Forks. Jasper drove Carlisle and Esme, and we followed the Mercedes the whole way back. Emmett and Rose followed behind us.

I fell asleep and stayed asleep for most of the drive. When I woke up, we were crossing into Washington. Christopher glanced over at me and smiled.

"Hi there, sleepyhead."

"Hi," I said, stretching. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sleep that long."

He laughed once. "That's okay, you probably needed it."

He put his hand on my leg and squeezed gently. "How are you?"

I thought about that. "I don't know. Kind of numb, but that could be relative proximity to Jasper." I sighed. "I can't believe he is going to be SO stupid. What if they can't stop him?"

"Shh," he said. "They will. Don't give up yet, okay?"

I nodded, tears coming again. He kept his hand on my leg. I was grateful for the contact.

_Hey, are you hungry?_ _I just realized you haven't hunted or anything for a while. I can stop and get you something if you want._

I shook my head. "No stopping, I need to get home."

He nodded and pushed the accelerator down further. It wasn't long before we were walking in the front door at our Forks home. Carlisle and Esme numbly set their belongings down; Esme went to sit by Rosalie. Carlisle went with Jasper to talk about what the story would be if Alice and Bella were not successful. I listened to their words and their thoughts. Jasper was planning to leave us if Alice didn't survive. I couldn't believe that in one day I might lose almost half of my family.

I turned back to Christopher and indicated that he should follow me; I led him up to my room. When I walked in, I could still smell Nahuel's scent in the room, I hissed and recoiled slightly, unprepared for the sudden assault. Christopher grimaced slightly but didn't say anything about the smell.

"I'm sorry about that," I said apologetically. "There wasn't time, before."

"No," he said, "It's okay, really."

I rushed over to the bed to strip the sheets. Despite Christopher's insistence that it didn't bother him, _I_ didn't want to smell Nahuel here.

After I had thrown the old sheets into laundry room, and replaced them with clean ones, I relaxed slightly. It didn't fix it entirely, but it was a little better. Christopher was sitting on the bed and motioned for me to sit with him. I looked at him with tears again in my eyes, god I was so sick of crying.

He took my face in his hands and kissed me softly. We stayed like that for several minutes before breaking apart. I leaned my head on his shoulder and together we waited. It felt like days later when the phone finally rang and we immediately raced downstairs. Carlisle was speaking into the phone - he was talking to Alice!

We all listened, hanging on every word. Alice, Bella, and Edward _all fine._ They would be home in less than 24 hours. We hugged and cried and celebrated. They were coming home.

The day passed remarkably quickly, considering the weight of our combined anticipation. Even so, I felt like I could hear every second tick by while we waited until it was time to head for the airport.

We gathered in the baggage claim, near the carousel for their flight. Everyone was shooting anxious glances at the board, waiting for the status to change to "Arrived." Christopher stood behind me with his hands on my shoulders, once in awhile giving a supportive squeeze.

I put my hand over his. "Thank you for being here, for all of this," I said.

"Where else exactly would I be?" he asked, leaning in to hug me from behind, putting his face against mine.

The passengers from their plane started to file into the baggage claim area; I could hear Alice's thoughts, trained on reuniting with Jasper. Edward's thoughts were strained, but I _heard_ him, which meant he was _here. _

_Edward! _I thought. I think we all called to him at once, in our minds, because he finally looked up. He was holding on to Bella, hunched over her like he was still protecting her from something. They moved awkwardly - she was so tired she could barely stand up. He glanced over at me and noticed Christopher. I assume Alice had told him, but he didn't give any signs of acknowledgment in his expression, or thoughts.

They rode back in Carlisle's car with Emmett and Rosalie. They took Bella home and Edward pretended to leave with them. Once everyone else had returned home, we descended on Alice, who filled in the blanks for us.

She stopped at one point and spaced out, a vision of Edward and Bella sitting with all of us, crowded around the dining room table, overtook her mind for a moment.

_What's going on?_ Christopher thought.

"They will be here in a few hours. Bella wants to discuss something with all of us."

As Alice predicted, they arrived at the house in the middle of the night. Carlisle greeted them at the door, and he called us all to assemble.

Bella very calmly presented her case, wanting to fully join the family. In his mind, my brother was seething at the idea. He hissed when I voted in favor. Christopher hissed at him in response; I put my hand on his arm.

A moment later, Edward made his anger plain when my father voiced his support for Bella's request.

Eventually, it seemed the deal was settled, though Edward was still calculating how to change her mind.

Exhausted myself, I fell back on the couch and closed my eyes. I knew I should just go to bed, but I couldn't deal with Nahuel still hanging over that room, I was going to have to fix that tomorrow. Even if Christopher decided not to stay, I thought to myself. The reality that he might not _want_ to give up his life at Cornell hit me then. I tried to push it out of my mind.

A few hours later I woke up, the sun was starting to peek through the trees. I could smell Christopher's scent as if he had been nearby recently, but I heard his voice and Carlisle's, speaking quietly in Carlisle's office. I listened, keeping my breath steady so that hopefully they wouldn't realize I was awake.

Christopher was planning to fly back to Ithaca tonight. My breath caught. He heard this and excused himself, and he was at my side immediately.

"Hey," he said, putting an arm around my shoulders. "Wish you hadn't heard that. It's not what you think."

"No, I understand. I don't expect you to move your life across the country for me," I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

He kissed me and put both hands on my face, waiting until my eyes met his. "I'm only going for two days. I need to tie up a couple loose ends- Cornell, the house."

"What?" I said in disbelief. "You're not going home to stay?"

He shook his head, chuckling softly. "No, silly. I'm going to Ithaca for two days and coming home to _you_," he said. "I would have asked you to come with me, but I hear you have school in the morning."

"Ugh," I groaned at the thought of returning to high school.

"I don't suppose there are uniforms involved?" he asked with a smirk.

"Um, no." I laughed, smacking his chest lightly. "Seriously though, you're coming back?"

He smoothed my hair away from my face and placed a soft kiss on my lips, his eyes staring intently into mine. "Of course. I'm not leaving you, Ellie. And I will miss you every second."

I kissed him hard at those words and he responded enthusiastically, pulling away reluctantly after a moment. He whispered, "Perhaps we should take this to your room? I wouldn't want your father to revoke his invitation to me to stay."

"Oh shit," I said, remembering that I needed to address my room.

He smiled and took my hand. "Come on."

We went up to my room and all of the curtains and bedding and even the rug had been changed. "Did you do this?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "Alice," he said, as if it were obvious.

"Of course," I said with a laugh. It was so much better now. I could smell Christopher in here now.

Alice popped her head in, "I hope you don't mind. I saw you decide to do this and thought I would help."

"Thank you!" I cried, hugging my sister. A thought occurred to me and I pulled back to look at her suspiciously. "Wait, did you mess with my closet?" She looked at me with a sly grin.

I looked around my closet and saw a truckload of new clothes, but most of it wasn't for me. Inside I found a whole wardrobe of men's clothes.

"Christopher needed a little help in the wardrobe department," she said, crossing her arms and smiling smugly.

He sighed. "I feel like I've been officially indoctrinated now."

I turned to him. "You're really staying." It wasn't a question.

He nodded, smiling.

Alice left us alone so that we could enjoy _our _room for a while before he had to get to the airport. We lay in the bed for a long time, he held me close to him.

"It's going to be a long two nights," I said with a sigh.

"Shh," he whispered, brushing my cheek with the back of his fingers. "I will be back before you will even know I'm gone."

"Not likely." I hugged him closer to me, pressing my lips to his chest. "I love you."

He kissed me deeply, breaking it off slowly after several minutes. "I love you too. I will go anywhere as long as you are there. Don't forget that."

"When do you need to be at the airport?" I asked reluctantly.

He glanced over my head at the clock. "Too soon."

He rolled over then so that he was over top of me. I spread my legs so that he could enter me, and he pushed himself slowly, going as deep as he could before pulling back. The sensation made me moan and I threw my head back, arching slightly to press my chest against his. He moved like that in me, impossibly slow, for what seemed like hours. I couldn't focus on anything except him inside me, and the weight of his body against mine. His mouth covered mine and his kiss was urgent, almost rough. He started to tremble, his climax building. I whimpered slightly as he thrust in me harder then and his pace quickened. We came together, and he collapsed on top of me, kissing me again before pulling away.

"I have to get ready to go," he said in a hushed voice.

I nodded sadly. "I will drive you if you want."

He shook his head. "I asked your dad if he would."

He kissed me again, amused by my puzzled expression. "Hush. I would like you to pick me up when I return if that's okay." I nodded.

He dressed and grabbed his bag, taking my face in his hands. "I love you and I will be back soon."

"I love you. Be safe," I responded, willing my eyes to stay dry.

He kissed me quickly. "I'll call you when I land."

And with that he left me to meet Carlisle in the garage.

The next morning, Edward had come home from Bella's to change. I heard him walking toward my room as I finished getting ready. I was brushing my hair when he knocked on my door. I smiled at him in acknowledgement.

"Got a second?" He asked quietly. I nodded and gestured for him to come in. He sat down in a chair by my closet.

"How are you holding up?" He was referring to Christopher's absence, I had spent most of the previous night holed up in my room, listening to music and reading, and eventually trying unsuccessfully to sleep.

"Okay I guess. It's only until tomorrow afternoon," I answered unconvincingly.

He nodded, looking down and taking a breath before he spoke. "Listen, I just wanted to apologize. For everything. I know that doesn't really fix anything and I have a lot of work to do but-"

I cut him off. "Edward, we're fine. I'm just glad you're home." He smiled.

"How's Bella?" I asked.

"She's...okay?" he answered hesitantly, running his hand through his hair. "I think. I'm not entirely sure really."

"Well I imagine you do have a bit of work to do there," I said gently. "It will be okay though."

He nodded sadly, and then turned his head toward the door. _Odd,_ he thought.

"What?" I asked. He shrugged. _Not sure. Carlisle seems to be blocking us. _

I listened more closely. Dad was reciting a medical journal in his head.

"Strange. Are you ready?" I asked him. He rose and we walked out of the room. I trudged down the stairs with my bag slung over my shoulder, not particularly excited to resume the high school act. Thank god it was only a few weeks until graduation. Alice decided to ride with me and chattered the whole way to school. I caught her picturing outfits for me, and a glimpse of Seattle.

"What was that about?" I asked her.

"Nothing. You will see soon enough," she chirped.

"Freak," I said, sticking my tongue out at her. She laughed.

We arrived at school and I ran up to give Bella a hug.

"I missed you!" I said.

"I missed you too," she said, smiling. "I want to hear about Christopher. Edward won't tell me anything."

"That's because he doesn't _know _anything," I said with a laugh.

We walked in and I quietly filled her in. The day dragged on. I wanted to go to bed just so I could wake up and have it be Friday, when Christopher was coming home. When the dismissal bell finally rang, I gathered my things and headed out to my car. None of my siblings were in my last class, and I didn't see them anywhere. I could hear their minds through; they were in the parking lot. As the lot came into view, I saw a familiar figure leaning against my car, smiling broadly.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12. Seattle.

It was all I could do to maintain my human pace. I wanted to run full speed to him.

I could see his grin, and his thoughts filled my head. _I told you I would be back before you missed me._

I shook my head, and knowing he could hear me, answered. "Wrong. I missed you."

It felt like eternity but finally I reached him. He scooped me into a hug and my feet left the ground. He put me against the car and kissed me. "Sweetie," I said when he took a breath and allowed my lips enough room to speak, "that's a little risqué for high school."

He laughed and set me down. "Sorry, I couldn't help myself," he said sheepishly. We got in the car, and I looked at him like I was just seeing him for the first time. It felt like forever since I'd seen him, rather than a day.

"How are you back so soon?" I asked, still staring at him.

"I worked _really _quickly," he said, grinning. "As soon as I got on the plane I could barely stand it. I had to get home."

I sighed when he called this home. "Good. Don't do that again please," I said, only half kidding.

"I won't if I can help it," he said seriously. He took hold of my right hand and held it the whole drive back home. He reluctantly released me so we could get out of the car, and reclaimed it as we walked inside. We chatted with my family for a bit and decided to go for a hunt. He picked me up and took off running. _Sorry, _he thought._ I just feel better if I can touch you. I hated being away from you._

I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by a similar need for contact. He ran for several miles before stopping and pulling us to the ground. He kissed my mouth and jaw, and down my neck frantically. He pulled my shirt over my head and continued down my chest, removing my bra as well. I pulled at his shirt and he helped remove it. He crushed himself against me and we moaned at the feeling of our bodies against each other.

I grabbed at his belt to unfasten it and his jeans. He carefully unbuttoned mine and pulled them off. I brought my knees up at his sides and watched him as he pushed into me. I moaned loudly as he began to move in earnest. We weren't slow and sensual like before he left. Our hips came together faster and faster, his cold length reaching deeper with every thrust. We came together, our joint cries echoing into the trees.

He rested his head on my chest and I absently stroked his hair. "Mmm," he murmured. "That feels good."

We didn't say anything more for a while. "So," I said, breaking the silence. "Do you have any plans to teach while we're here?"

He looked up at me, smiling. "I do, as a matter of fact. I have a friend at the University of Washington in Seattle, and I've lined up a position there. It's only two nights a week." He kissed along my shoulder, down to my collarbone.

"Wow, you _have _been busy," I said, my fingers trailing down his neck and then back up through his hair.

"Actually," he said, his voice deep and husky, "I'm hoping you will agree to accompany me to Seattle this weekend. There's an event, a banquet that faculty are invited to, and I've just made it in under the wire."

"What kind of banquet?" I asked.

He shrugged casually. "A lot of distinguished alumni attend apparently. Department heads looking for big donors to fork over money for grants and the like," he explained. "I've been to a few at other schools. I think you would have a good time, I know I would love to have you there."

"I'd like that," I said. "When will we leave?"

He placed a kiss on my lips, smiling. "I made a reservation for tomorrow and Saturday night at the Hotel Monaco. We can leave straight from school if you like," he replied.

"Sounds wonderful." I smiled, excited for the trip. "I suppose that explains Alice's vision."

He looked worried. "What vision?"

"Oh just a snippet- her packing fancy clothes, a glimpse of Seattle. She didn't let enough slip for me to guess anything," I said.

He smiled, clearly relieved. "Good," he said and kissed me. "Let's hunt. It sounds like you have a visit with Alice tonight."

We got up and dressed, and walked lazily through the forest, hunting a few deer as we made our way home. Sure enough, Alice was waiting for me. She picked out a jaw dropping red gown for the faculty banquet, assuring me that she looked to make sure no one there would know me from Forks.

When Alice was finished schooling me on how to wear my hair the next night, she left and Christopher came upstairs. We went to bed and he held me close the whole night. When he woke me to get ready for school in the morning I hesitated, not wanting to leave his arms.

He nudged me slightly. "It's only a few hours. I will be there when you are done. Actually, I was hoping I could drop you off and perhaps borrow your car, if that's okay?"

"Sure," I replied.

"Thank you. I have a few errands to run while you are at school," he smirked at that. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, yeah; come on let's get this over with."

I said goodbye to my parents since we were leaving for Seattle right from school. They hugged me and exchanged a look. "Have a wonderful time sweetie," my mother said, kissing my cheek.

As promised, Christopher was waiting for me at the end of the school day. I slid into the car, excited for our trip.

"Hello love," he said as he leaned over to kiss me. "Did you have a good day?"

"I'm having one now," I said with a smile. "Did you get your super secret errands done?"

He laughed. "Yes." He flashed a mischievous grin, careful not to give anything away in his thoughts. He pulled onto the highway and we sped off toward Seattle. When we got to the hotel he opened the trunk for the attendant to unload the bags, snatching one to hold onto, and gave the valet key to the attendant to park the car. When we walked into the ornate lobby, the woman at the reception desk nearly dropped her phone mid conversation at the sight of him. I couldn't help but smile smugly at her.

"May I help you, sir?" she asked him when she hung up.

"I have a reservation under Dawling," he said, smiling politely.

"Yes, the Ambassador Suite," she said. _Damn, _she thought to herself. "I will just need to see your credit card."

Christopher handed her the card and signed the check-in forms. She handed him two key cards. "Please let us know if we can provide any assistance to help you enjoy your stay," she said in a sugary tone.

We rode the elevator to the eleventh floor and the doors opened directly into the sprawling suite. "Wow," I said. I was accustomed to pretty amazing accommodations but this was particularly notable.

There was a huge bed that was begging to be occupied, and a gorgeous tub as well. "What time does the banquet start?" I asked suggestively, pulling him to me.

"Eight-thirty," he replied. "Which does not allow us much time, unfortunately."

I pouted, and he chuckled softly at my expression. "Well," he murmured seductively, "maybe a bath before we get dressed is a good idea."

He turned the water on and we undressed as the tub filled. We kissed and ran our hands all over one another for several minutes before stepping into the scalding water. I straddled his lap and lowered myself onto him and we made love slowly, overcome by the combined sensations of our bodies together and the hot water bubbling around us.

My climax crashed over me suddenly and I grabbed the wall of the tub behind him for support as I drove myself down onto him harder. He came quickly after that, moaning into my shoulder. I didn't move for a while and he hardened in me again. I moved against him again, almost involuntarily, it was hard to feel satisfied when we were together like this. We finished quickly this time, crying out together.

I moved so that I was sitting next to him this time, knowing that otherwise we would never stop in time to make the event. I sighed as I leaned against his side.

"We have to get dressed," he said, kissing my forehead. "As much as it pains me to say it."

"Boooo," I said, laughing.

I dried off and went off in search of my bags. I pulled the dress from the garment bag and went to put it on. It was strapless and floor length, with a slit to my thigh. I decided to forgo underwear beneath it and slipped the dress on. I found the black heels that Alice had chosen to pair with it and put them on and fixed my hair as instructed.

I walked out into the sitting area and found Christopher in his tuxedo, and my breath caught. "Whoa," was all I could manage.

"Whoa, yourself. You are gorgeous," he said. He shot across the room to take me in his arms. He kissed me deeply and his hands ran down my back to my ass. I sighed, more than half-hoping he would decide to forget the banquet altogether. He pulled away too soon, looking very serious.

"Everything okay?" I asked, concerned.

He nodded. "More than okay. I love you so much, you know," he said, his expression almost pained. He returned his lips to mine.

"So, about tonight," he said in between kisses. "I was thinking about how I should introduce you, since this is an event typically attended by faculty and their…spouses."

"Okay," I said, confused.

"So I thought I would ask if you objected to me calling you my wife this evening," he said.

"Of course n-," he cut me off, silencing me with a finger on my lips before I could finish.

"But then," he said, "I wondered if you would object to actually _being_ my wife."

I stared at him, not sure what he was getting at. As he proceeded to drop down on one knee, however, realization dawned and my right hand flew to my mouth in shock. He took my left hand and pulled out a small box.

"Eleanor Elizabeth Cullen," he said softly. "Will you marry me?"

I couldn't speak at first, so I nodded my acceptance, before I was finally able to whisper, "Yes." He pulled a ring from the box, a brilliant solitaire on a solid platinum band, and placed it on my finger.

He stood and hugged me tightly. "I cannot express in words how much I love you. Thank you," he said, his voice breaking slightly.

"I love you too," I breathed. My response seemed small by comparison. I kissed him, trying to communicate what I couldn't speak at that moment. We kissed for several moments before I put my hands on his face, pulling back to look at him. His eyes were shining with excitement and his thoughts were the same.

"Did I imagine that?" I asked him breathlessly.

"You did not. No changing your mind now, Ms. Cullen," he answered hoarsely.

I grabbed his lapel and kissed him again. "Never," I said. After a moment I realized were going to be really late if we weren't on our way soon. "We really have to go now don't we?"

He nodded and grabbed my wrap, draping it around my shoulders. I sighed and grabbed my clutch as he took my hand.

"I don't plan to let go of you all night," he said in a sultry tone.

"Oh god. Why do you have to be all sexy like that," I said. "That doesn't make it easier to share you with the rest of the world."

He laughed and pulled me onto the elevator. We walked outside and a sleek black car was waiting for us. _I figured I wouldn't be able to stand even being far enough apart to drive this evening. _I smiled at him and got in.

The banquet was held at another hotel across town, in a gorgeous old ballroom. True to his word, he didn't let go of me all evening. There was a dance floor and we danced closely for several numbers. He led me around the room, proudly introducing me to his new colleagues.

He took me over to the table where the Dean of the School of Music was sitting. "Dr. Michaels," Christopher said. "I'd like to introduce you to my fiancée," he said, beaming, "Eleanor Cullen."

"It's a pleasure, Ms. Cullen," he said, shaking my hand.

"Nice to meet you as well," I said. "Please, call me Ellie."

Christopher looked like he would burst with pride with every introduction. The night wore on and soon he was leading me, exhausted, back to the car. I was only somewhat aware of walking through the lobby. When the elevator doors closed, he scooped me up into his arms and carried me into the suite. He took off my dress and laid me in the bed and crawled in beside me as I fell asleep.

"Goodnight my love," he whispered.

Too soon it was time to head back to Forks. We spent the remainder of the weekend entirely consumed with one another, barely aware of time passing. We whispered our love to each other between passionate kisses and gasps and in moments of rest, joked loudly and traded stories of past hilarity.

When the wakeup call came on Sunday we dragged ourselves slowly back to reality. We showered and packed and soon were downstairs loading up the car to go home. We rode in silence for a long time; Christopher held my hand, running his thumb over my ring occasionally as he drove.

"I never told you," I said, breaking the silence, "how much I love the ring. It's beautiful."

He smiled. "Good. Thank god for Alice, I was having a hell of a time finding something that would suit you."

"I bet she loved every second of that too," I said with a laugh. He laughed as well, nodding.

"So who else knows?" I asked, waving my hand a little.

"Everyone," he said.

"Really?" I asked surprised.

"Really," he said smugly. "I asked your father, first. He told Esme. Alice and Rose _attacked_ me the first chance they got - while you were sleeping, of course. And I've gotten the hurt-my-sister-and-I-will-kill-you spiel from Emmett, Jasper _and_ Edward."

"Holy shit," I said.

"Seriously. I've been around for a long time and seen a lot of crazy things, but your brothers are fucking scary sometimes." he said, winking at me. "And they all talked to me separately, which was even more unnerving."

I laughed. "I guess I really am lucky that you came back after that. But they are pretty great when they want to be."

I thought for a second. "You know what we haven't talked about, AT ALL?" I asked, laughing again.

"What?" he said, confused.

"The wedding," I said.

"Ha! Isn't that what Alice is for?" he said.

"No! No nononono," I said. "Do you realize what a colossal affair that will be? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to be marrying you, but seriously. An Alice event will rival a royal wedding."

"Yes, and?" he said, winking at me.

I sighed. "You know, I'm starting to think maybe you and my brother should just marry each other."

"No way," he said. "No take backs!"

"I don't know. I have a feeling your tastes in weddings are much more similar," I teased.

"Seriously though," he said, "have you thought about it at all?"

"Um, have you?" I answered. "I don't recall thinking about much the last couple of days."

"Fair point. I suppose we were a little wrapped up, weren't we?"

"I would be more than happy to get wrapped up again," I said, running my hand along his thigh.

"Knock it off," he said, covering my hand with his own, "or we will never get home."

"Home," I repeated. "I like it when you say that."

"I don't need anything but you to have a home," he replied, looking at me seriously. "But, I wanted to float an idea by you. It came to me during the banquet."

"Shoot," I said.

"What would you think of getting an apartment in Seattle," he said slowly, "not for _me_, but for _us_. I mean, at some point we'll be newlyweds, right? And surely we are annoying like newlyweds already," he grinned and kissed my hand. "Anyway, I thought it would be a good idea to have a place nearer to campus that fit with the engaged-young-professor story. We could spend a couple nights a week there - I teach Tuesday and Thursday - once you are done with school. Home, of course, would still be Forks. I have no desire to take you away from your family."

I thought for a moment, smiling to myself as I imagined it. "I love that idea. And they are your family too. I think they were before, but now they definitely are."

"That's great," he said, relieved. "I was worried you would not like the idea."

"Why?" I asked, confused.

"I don't know. You are all so close…"

"Sweetheart, you could argue that we are all far_ too _close," I said, laughing and shaking my head.

"Maybe. I just wasn't sure how you would feel." He shrugged.

"Christopher. Listen to me. I want far more time alone with you than even our eventual eternity will allow. Trust me, I love your idea."

A few moments later, we turned onto the long driveway leading toward the house. "Well," he said, squeezing my hand. "Here goes nothing."

When we arrived home the day before, the whole family was waiting to congratulate us on our news. Even Edward graced us with his presence. I was unusually overwhelmed by my parents and siblings, but their excitement was sweet.

Alice whisked me away to talk wedding plans with her and Rosalie, despite my protests that we hadn't discussed anything related to the actual wedding.

When it was nearly one in the morning, I threw myself back on Alice's bed, exhausted. I was vaguely aware of the two of them continuing to conspire. Rosalie turned her attention back to me, and asked, "Will you change your name?"

I didn't answer; I was half asleep.

"Ellie!" she said.

"What?!"

"Will you change your name?" she asked again.

"Oh Christ, Rosalie, I don't know. Maybe?" I said. I'd honestly never thought of myself as anything other than a Cullen.

"You don't have to you know," Christopher said to me later, after we revisited some of our activities from the weekend. We lay there, facing each other, our legs intertwined. "You do not have to change your name."

"I know," I said. "I'd just never really thought about it before. The rest of my family, they've changed their names from time to time. But I've always been Ellie Cullen."

He smiled tenderly, stroking my cheek with his thumb. "I don't care what your name is, as long as you are mine."

"I am yours, without question," I said. "And I am more than happy to be Mrs. Christopher Dawling."

He kissed me. "Eleanor Cullen Dawling, I think that sounds lovely,"

I fell asleep shortly after this, but the sun started to rise all too soon. It was Monday, which meant suffering through another school day. Thankfully, in just a couple of months this whole high school experience would be over; at least until the next time.

"Ellie," I heard Christopher whisper. "Sweetie you've got to wake up now."

"Ugh stop it," I grumbled, trying to wave him off, to no avail. "I need coffee. This school thing can bite me."

I didn't mean for him to get it for me, but before I knew it he jumped up and ran down to the kitchen. He came back in a few minutes later with coffee for me.

"Thanks," I said. I only then noticed that he was dressed already, looking incredible in his dark slacks and light blue dress shirt. I nodded to him, "I'll have some of that too, please."

"No time," he said with a devilish grin. "You slept too long."

"Damn sisters. Keeping me up too late." I said.

_Hey! It wasn't just us that kept you up missy, _Rosalie thought of the noises that came from our room before I fell asleep. I rolled my eyes but pulled out some clothes to get dressed. Jeans, a tee shirt and flats; Alice fumed at my simple choices. Deciding to irritate her further, I pulled my hair into a messy knot.

"So," I said to Christopher as I drank my coffee, "what do you have planned today?"

"Well, I have a meeting with a realtor about finding a place in Seattle."

"Do you want to take my car?" I offered.

"Sure, if that's okay. I should be back in time to pick you up. His office is only an hour from here."

I nodded slowly, and thought of something that hadn't yet occurred to me. "Listen, you know that when Bella is changed, it can't happen here right?" I explained about the Quileutes and the treaty my father negotiated. "It's possible we have some time before any of that happens, Alice has been seeing a wedding lately and Bella is still human."

He nodded. "Carlisle did tell me about that."

"Anyway, I'm not saying that I _don't _want to get a place in Seattle, I am happy to. Even if they go back to Denali, which is where I assume they will go, we can live apart from them."

"Well why don't we plan on a short term lease and see how it goes," he suggested thoughtfully.

"Sounds good," I agreed. "I just don't want to pull you away _again_ from something. You shouldn't have to be running all over the country."

"I told you, I don't care about any of that," he said. "Are you ready to go?"

After he dropped me off, I walked in with my siblings and Bella. Bella peaked around Edward and gaped at my hand. "Ellie," she gasped, almost recoiling, "what is THAT?"

"Shit, I meant to take this off," I said with a laugh, waving my hand in front of her. Edward shot me a look.

"What?" I said to my brother. "It's a wee bit conspicuous don't you think? I don't need people thinking I've gone and got knocked up."

"SEE!" Bella said to Edward. "Even Ellie agrees."

_Thanks a lot, sis._

_Sorry Edward!_

I quickly switched the ring to my other hand and turned it around so the diamond was not facing out. I kept it like that all day, with my hand clasped around it as if it might disappear.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13. Alone.

That night, Christopher suggested that we head to Seattle on Saturday to look at a few apartments and invited Esme along, stating that he would welcome her insight. I laughed as the pair of them huddled together looking over floor plans of some units suggested by Christopher's realtor.

Saturday morning arrived and we sped off toward Seattle as planned. Christopher's realtor was going to meet us at the first location. We scoured the city for most of the day and eventually settled on a beautiful two-bedroom unit in a new building overlooking the Seattle skyline and with a view of the water. I stood by one of the floor-to-ceiling windows as my mother came to stand by me.

"I think you two will be very happy here," she said, putting an arm around me. "Have your sisters let you have any input on the wedding yet?"

"Hardly," I said. "Actually, I think we are going to wait to make solid plans until after Bella..." I trailed off, not wanting to say more with the realtor discussing lease options with Christopher just a few feet away.

"We want everyone to be there, and I just want to make sure things are...settled," I went on.

Mom nodded. _He loves you so much, and I can see you feel the same for him. I can't tell you how happy I am that you have found each other._

"Thanks Mom," I whispered. "Love you." She kissed my head. _Love you too baby. Always._

We stood at the window until Christopher and the realtor finished going over options. "Honey," he called. "Can you come here for a second?"

I walked over and he held his hand out to take mine. "We can do a six-month lease, which I think makes the most sense right now," he said. "Do you agree?"

"I think that sounds perfect," I answered. "Is there an option to renew?"

The realtor nodded and jumped into a lengthy explanation of lease details. I was trying to ignore his internal ogling of my mother and me. I almost tore his throat out after an especially vulgar image of the three of us. Finally we were ready to sign the paperwork and pay the deposit. I told Christopher that I would handle the deposit if we found something today.

After we signed the lease, the realtor started to give Christopher the numbers and information for the check. I pulled out my checkbook instead, asking, "I'm sorry could you repeat that?"

"Thank you Mrs. Dawling," he said, as I handed him the deposit check. I was distracted by the sound of my future name and forgot to correct him. He looked at my check, though, and realized his mistake. "Oh, sorry, Ms. Cullen."

I smiled politely.

"So when _is_ the wedding?" he asked, pointing crudely to the ring on my finger.

"We haven't set a date yet," I answered.

The realtor turned to Christopher. "Better nail her down soon, eh?" _Or just nail her. Damn. _Christopher took one look at my face and escorted him out.

_How many times did he picture you naked?_

"Not just me," I answered in a low voice. "And you don't want to know." He walked back to me and kissed me, handing me a key. _Welcome home baby._

I pulled away reluctantly as my mother pulled a couple of furniture catalogues from her bag. "I thought you might find something today so I figured while we are here you might want to pick out some items."

"That's a great idea, Mom," I said.

"Also, I asked your father to come pick me up. I figured you'd like some time alone. He will be here in about 15 minutes."

"We're that bad, huh?" I asked.

"Well," she said, "you're not quite as bad as Rose and Emmett."

"Oh jeez," I said blushing.

"Esme, thank you for all of your help today," Christopher said. His mind had already jumped ahead to how he wanted to celebrate after she left.

"You're welcome," she said, looking down as her phone beeped. "Your father is here. You two have fun!" she said as she kissed us goodbye. I barely heard the door shut when Christopher grabbed me up into his arms, my feet several inches from the ground. He moaned as his tongue probed mine, louder as I sucked his lip between my teeth.

"God," he panted. "I wanted to take you when he called you Mrs. Dawling." He dragged sloppy kisses down my neck. He pulled my clothes off without taking care not to rip them. My body was desperate for him. I pulled him down on top of me, groaning loudly as he pushed his hard cock into me roughly. He ran his hands down my breasts and sides as he thrust in me, grabbing my legs and bringing them up against his chest. I gasped at how the feeling of him inside me changed and he reached deeper with every frantic thrust.

I moaned loudly and incoherently as he slowed, pulling back and then plunging into me again. I begged him to go faster. He grabbed me roughly and sat us up, moving my legs behind him and I wrapped them around him as tightly as I could and rode him frantically. I couldn't stop, my orgasm was so close, and I called out his name as it hit me. He let go after that and I whimpered feeling him pulse inside me.

He pulled me down so that I was lying on his chest. "Holy shit," I said breathlessly.

"Um. Sorry about your clothes," he said with a hoarse laugh.

I giggled. "Well that could be an issue." My phone vibrated then somewhere in the pile of tattered fabric. It was a text from Alice. _Look outside your door._

I showed it to Christopher. "Apparently Alice has us covered." He laughed loudly and went to the door. Sure enough a duffle bag with several sets of clothes was waiting outside the apartment door. "Why didn't we think of that?" I said.

"Because we don't really need clothes at the moment," he growled.

Several hours later, we again cuddled quietly, this time after breaking in the kitchen counters and floor. "And you think you're going to be teaching when we're here?" I mumbled to him.

"Clearly I didn't think that through," he said. It was already dark outside; I suspected it had been for a while. "Are you tired?"

"N-" I was interrupted by a yawn. "No," I said with a giggle. "Or maybe yes."

He pulled the bag over toward us and found a couple blankets. _She really does think of everything, _he thought, shaking his head. He threw one out on the floor by the breakfast bar and moved us over to lie on it. He sat with his head against the bar and pulled me to his chest, covering me with the other.

"First thing tomorrow," he whispered, "we will buy a bed."

"Mmm," I mumbled sleepily. I slept soundly until well into the morning. Christopher didn't move until I stirred.

"Good morning sleepyhead," he said.

I sat up and stretched. "Morning," I said, leaning in to kiss him.

"Are you hungry?" He asked. I shook my head. "Ready to go furniture shopping?"

"I guess we ought to, huh," I said, poking in the overnight bag cautiously to see what Alice packed for me to wear. I dressed and turned to see Christopher again looking amazing. She packed him dark jeans and a tight, faded red shirt that highlighted his muscles. He grabbed a dark brown sport jacket that looked like it had been tailored to him exactly. "Damn," I muttered. "My sister loves me."

He winked at me and grabbed his wallet and the key to _our_ place. "Are you ready my dear?" he asked, holding his arm out to me.

He had looked up boutique furniture stores in the city and he drove us to the first one on his list, which was the farthest. We walked in, drawing stares from the employees.

"Can we help you sir?" a saleswoman addressed him directly.

"My fiancée and I are new to the area, we need to furnish an apartment. We wanted to start with your bedroom collections," he replied.

She barely registered my presence and started to imagine him in what I assume was one such collection. I rolled my eyes. Mercifully, we found a set we both liked quickly and set up delivery for later today. We also bought a couch from the store, and from there moved onto another store nearby. We ordered a few more pieces that would be delivered later in the week. Christopher had already planned to come back to arrange for cable installation.

As we walked to my car, I heard what I thought was someone calling for help. I didn't realize at first that it was instead a human's panicked mind. I whirled around, startled.

"What is it?" Christopher asked, alarmed by my expression.

I told him and he smelled the air more closely as I continued to listen. _Fuck, _he thought, _Vampire. _He grabbed my arm and ushered me quickly into the car. "It's the middle of the fucking day," he fumed as he turned the engine over. "So careless."

We got back to the apartment in time to let the delivery guys in. They assembled the pieces quickly and left. Christopher nodded toward our new bed.

"Shall we give it a try? If you want we can stay here tonight and leave early for school in the morning." I quickly agreed and decided to ask Alice to bring my backpack to school with her, knowing that she would see.

He laid me down on the bed and I sighed as he kissed me gently and slowly ran his fingers up my arms and down my side. He took his time worshipping me for hours, so unlike the urgency from the night before. We came together over and over until I was eventually too tired to move.

"You're right," he whispered in my ear. "How am I _ever_ going to leave you to go teach?"

I smiled and closed my eyes. "How am I going to survive 8 hours of high school tomorrow?" I said with a groan.

He wrapped his arms tighter around me. "That will be over soon," he said, kissing my head. "Go to sleep."

Morning came too quickly, as it always did on school days where I had to be away from Christopher. Before the sun rose he was softly jostling me, telling me to wake up. We showered quickly and got dressed. As Christopher drove us back to Forks, speeding along the still empty highway, he called Carlisle's cell phone. He wanted to tell him what we'd nearly witnessed the day before. After he hung up, he told me that in the last week the local news had been reporting a rash of disappearances and killings and that he, Carlisle, Edward and Jasper were concerned that the violence was out of hand.

I stared at him, bewildered as to why he wouldn't have told me this. "I'm sorry," he said, understanding my expression. "I didn't want you to worry about me when I come here on my own," he said. "I was going to tell you today regardless of what happened yesterday. Now you will be there and that concerns me a bit."

I started to protest, but he cut me off. "No, I mean it. With Victoria out there doing god knows what," he said reminding me of the vampire that was still apparently after Bella and who Edward was unsuccessful at tracking, "and now this, I want you to be careful." His tone was grave. "If anything ever happened to you I would not fare any better than Edward did."

"I cannot stand the thought of anything happening to you either, you know," I said softly. "Promise me you won't do anything stupid if you encounter something like that again."

"I promise," he vowed, taking my hand.

Back in Forks, the first half of the week passed without incident. My family monitored the news for more signs of put of control vampires. We couldn't figure out what was causing the sudden violence, but there was concern that the Volturi would step in before long.

Edward was irritated with Bella's insistence that she be able to hang out with her friend, Jacob Black, and had thwarted an attempt recently by dismantling part of the truck's engine. He was formulating a plan for his next hunting trip, during which Alice and I would entertain Bella at our house and make sure she stayed out of trouble. He was mulling that over during lunch one day, and we were silently debating how Bella would react to his plan. I argued that this would only infuriate her.

Suddenly we both snapped our heads toward Alice, as a new vision took hold in her mind. _The forest blurred by. Alice and I ran first with Christopher and Jasper approaching behind is quickly. A flash of red hair soared by and Jasper leapt to catch the fleeing vampire._

The scene cleared, and we exchanged nervous glances. I sent Christopher a text, telling him to get home from Seattle _now_.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14. Surprises.

"No! NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Christopher shouted, his nostrils flaring furiously. He turned on his heel to face me, hands on my arms. "You are not going _anywhere_ near this tonight!"

Even Jasper agreed that I would be useful tonight, when Alice's vision from earlier in the week was set to come to fruition, especially with Edward having left with Bella to visit her mother in Florida.

"Christopher, I will be FINE," I said soothingly, both hands on his chest. "You are overreacting."

He shook his head, adamant. "No." When I still didn't relent, he turned to my father. "Carlisle, you can't think this a good idea?!"

"Christopher, we will all be together. And Victoria is clever, having someone who can anticipate her actions might be the key to getting a hold of her," he said, trying to reason with my panicked fiancée.

"Honey," I said, "I can handle myself. I'm not going up against her alone."

He shook his head. "No," he said again, pleading now. He put his hands on my shoulders and his eyes burned into mine. "Please," he whispered. I put my hands on his face.

"I'm going. Please trust me," I said. His face fell, but he stopped protesting. He pulled me to him and addressed Jasper.

"So what's the plan then?"

We all gathered in the forest, spread out in a loose V formation. Alice and I stood in front; I listened to her thoughts and for newcomers.

Christopher and Jasper stood at our flanks, barely inches apart from us.

Together Alice and I shouted that we were being approached from the left and we took off. I was fast for a half vampire and we sped through the forest. I could feel Christopher on my heels.

"Jasper!" I shouted, "up there!" Jazz leapt as in the original vision, missing our target by inches. I heard growls in the distance - the wolves were chasing as well on the other side of the river that divided out lands.

"Careful Emmett!" I tried to warn my brother. "She's going to jump the border!"

"Emmett NO!" Rose shouted as Emmett also missed and fell into the water. Christopher grabbed me to keep me from getting too close to the edge as one of the wolves snarled and snapped his teeth at Emmett. Emmett growled back before leaping out of the water. Victoria had eluded us all. Alice couldn't see anything else because of the wolves' involvement and the sly vampire quickly moved out of range from my gift. Frustrated, we turned and ran toward home before the tension built further with the Quileutes.

When we got home, Christopher and I went straight up to my room. He didn't say anything as he took my clothes off, but his worried mind overwhelmed me. He pulled me to him, needing to feel me against him. We didn't emerge from our room until it was late evening the next day.

When we finally decided to get up, he went to shower and I went downstairs. I found Edward sitting alone in the kitchen. He raised an eyebrow toward me as I walked in.

"Not a word, Cullen," I said sitting down across from him. "They told you how it all went down?" He nodded. "Are you going to tell her?"

"No. I don't want to worry her," he answered.

I rolled my eyes at him. "And the next time Victoria is in the area what will you do?"

He shrugged. "I will figure that out when the time comes."

"You know," I said speculatively, "If the wolves are hunting Victoria as well, we may not _know_ ahead of time."

He sighed, annoyed. _That had occurred to me, believe it or not_.

_Is Bella still trying to get down to the reservation?_

He grimaced. _No specific plans that I've been aware of. She doesn't see the danger in being there, surrounded by young wolves that can't control themselves._

An errant thought flew through my mind before I could suppress it, wondering if he was more jealous of Jacob than anything. He hissed at me and glared at me. _I am only concerned for her safety, Eleanor._

I raised my hands as if in surrender. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry."

"What did you do now, troublemaker?" Christopher quipped, coming down the stairs, winking at me as he strolled into the kitchen.

"Good evening, Christopher," Edward greeted his soon-to-be brother-in-law. "Thank you for helping this weekend."

"Not a problem, I wish we had gotten her," Christopher said. He looked over at me. "Can I interest you in a quick hunt?"

"Sure," I replied, smiling. "Edward? Would you like to come too?'

He looked at the clock. "No, thank you. I'm heading back over to Bella's soon. I'm planning to go hunting with Emmett and Jasper in a couple of days, actually. Christopher, you're more than welcome to join us."

"Thanks Edward, I have to be in Seattle during the day on Wednesday and Thursday though, so I will have to decline."

We said goodbye to Edward and left for our hunt. When we returned, we sat up with the family for most of the night, before I went to bed to catch a few hours of sleep.

Christopher drove me to school again the next day. He didn't actually have a reason to, or errands to run during the day, but I'd come to like this routine so I was glad he still offered. As we neared the school, I noticed an unfamiliar mind and a tense conversation with Edward. Christopher and I parked and walked across the lot quickly. I was vaguely aware of a few students noticing Christopher with curiosity, and other students watching the confrontation between Edward and a man I didn't know.

_Edward?_ I thought.

_Jacob Black, _he thought tersely.

_What the hell is he doing here? _I wondered, but quickly picked up enough of the conversation to understand. Jacob wanted to see that Bella was still human, and to warn our family about crossing the border again.

_What? _I thought._ Emmett wasn't on their land. He was _on_ the damn border._ I hissed as I stood next to my brother. Jacob glared at me.

"Jacob," I said. "You ought to calm down now. You do not want to do this here."

_What the hell is this? _Jacob thought to Edward, looking at me and registering that I was not quite like the rest of my family. He noticed that Edward and I resembled one another, albeit only slightly. Apparently Bella had left out some details in her conversations with Jacob Black.

Edward shook his head at Jacob. "Don't go there, Jacob," he warned. Christopher took a step forward and hissed quietly, catching on. Jacob sized him up, and turned his attention back to Bella, telling her to come see him when she wanted to have "a life" again.

A few days later, my brothers were getting ready to head out for their hunting trip. To make it look like a family camping trip, we were all taking a couple of days out of school. Christopher and I lounged in bed that morning, not in a hurry to get up.

I turned to face him. "Don't you need to be back in Seattle again today?" He had been there for yesterday as well. Classes had ended for the semester, but he had to attend planning meetings for the upcoming summer term.

"I do, but not until a little later," he answered. "Would you like to come with me, or do you have other plans?"

"No plans, I thought I could set some of the new stuff up at our place," I said, smiling. I loved the idea of having a place that was ours, and was looking forward to spending some time there.

He kissed me. "That sounds perfect. I hooked up the TV and electronics yesterday, but there's a bunch of odds and ends that were delivered last weekend that need to be dealt with."

"Consider it done," I said.

We lolled for a bit longer before slowly getting dressed. He grabbed my overnight bag and held it up. "Do you want to pack a few things and stay for a couple of days?" he asked.

"Definitely," I said. I considered asking Alice to help stock the place in a couple of weeks so we didn't need to take anything with us and decided to ask her when we got back.

_I'll do it!_ She thought to me. I laughed, and Christopher shot me a puzzled expression.

"What's funny?"

"Alice," I said. He nodded, not entirely understanding. He learned quickly to just go with things where Alice was involved. I kissed him and grabbed my things. "I'm ready whenever you are."

We sped along the highway toward Seattle, arriving downtown before noon. We parked in the garage and rode the elevator, and when we walked into the apartment, I saw boxes and packing materials strewn all over. "Holy hell, I hope you don't think that I'm going to habitually clean shit like this up," I said half-kidding.

Christopher looked at me with a playful smirk. "What? That's not part of the deal? I didn't think this marriage thing through properly it seems."

I laughed. He whooshed around the room, gathering the trash and hauled it to the chute in the hallway. "I just didn't want to take the extra half-second to do it yesterday before coming back to you."

"Sure," I said, rolling my eyes and laughing. "When do you have to leave for campus?" I asked.

He looked at his watch. "Um, ten minutes ago."

"You better go then, huh?" I asked with a pout.

"Yes, but I will back in just a few hours and then," he said kissing me, "I'm all yours for the next three days."

I sighed and swatted his ass. "Get gone then."

After he left, I fell back against the new sofa Esme had picked out and had delivered last weekend. It was really pretty comfortable. I reached over and grabbed a box and opened it, inside there were some decorative pieces, wrapped securely, inside. I started placing them around the room and unpacked the remainder of the brown boxes and did the same.

This place was actually starting to shape up a bit. I took all the packing materials out to the trash chute and then sat back down to admire my handiwork. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the couch, listening to the sounds around me. When we first discussed getting a place here, I was slightly concerned that my mind would be constantly filled with the thoughts of neighbors and passers-by on the street. I was pleasantly surprised that, while I could mentally zoom in on a particular mind if I wanted to, the noise mostly faded into the background. I had always been pretty good at tuning people out. When Christopher and I were here together, his was the only mind that invaded my own.

I got up and walked slowly through the apartment, ending up in our master bathroom. There was a beautiful Jacuzzi tub in the corner, with glass windows on two sides that had been coated with a mirror-like protective shielding on the outside, ensuring privacy but still allowing a magnificent view.

We hadn't had a chance to try out the tub yet, and I decided that we would do so as soon as Christopher got home. The idea, though, of a hot, peaceful bath was too much to resist, so I decided not to wait for him. I turned the water on and found some towels before undressing. Once the tub was mostly full I slipped in and leaned back against the wall, enjoying the solitude.

My cell phone rang, breaking the silence, and I cursed and reached over, grabbing for my jeans. I fished the phone from my pocket; it was Alice.

"Hi Alice," I said.

"Hi Ellie. I'm sorry to interrupt," she said. "But I wanted to warn you that our brother is on the warpath."

"What do you mean? I haven't done anything," I said.

"_I'm_ not saying you did," she said. "Remember, don't shoot the messenger. Remember when you and Edward were debating his idea that he should have us, um, babysit her, when he goes hunting? And you thought that would piss her off?"

"Yeah." I said. "What did she do?"

"She went to the reservation. She made a split second decision and went down there when she was supposed to be at work. She totally gave me the slip, I didn't see her disappear until it was too late to stop her."

"Is she okay?" I asked, worried.

"She's fine. Edward came back of course, when I called. He was waiting for her at the border and followed her back. She's at Angela's house. "

"Okay, stalker," I said, referring to Edward.

She laughed. "He was really flipped out. And now of course he has to leave again, which he's planning to do Thursday. He's going to tell her he's leaving Friday and ask us to keep an eye on her."

"Forced captivity?" I asked. Alice giggled.

"Slumber party," she replied. "You in?"

"Sure, Alice, no problem."

"Yay!" she squealed. "Anyway, sorry to bother you but I just wanted to warn you in case he gets tired of waiting for Bella at Angela's and decides to pick on you. Though I imagine once Christopher gets back you won't be answering your phone at all."

"Most likely not, Alice," I said.

"Okay, see you in a few days." We hung up, and I tossed my phone back onto the pile of my clothes. I turned the water back on for a moment to add some heat, and relaxed back against to tub wall again.

A little while later, I heard the front door open. "Ellie?" Christopher asked.

"In here," I called lazily. He appeared in the doorway and appraised my position.

"That," he said in a sultry tone, "is an excellent idea. Do you mind if I join you, or would you prefer to be alone?"

I raised an eyebrow. "What do you think?"

"Well," he said, removing his clothes at a blinding speed, "if you insist."

He was hard already as he climbed into the water and kneeled down in front of me. His hands caressed my shoulders and he leaned in to kiss me gently. I gasped slightly as his hands slid down to play with my breasts. I opened my legs so that he could come closer to me, his cock rubbing against my clit.

"Mmm," I murmured against his lips. "I missed you," I said.

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him, and sat back against the tub. He lowered me slowly on top of him, and we moaned together as I moved over him. He throbbed inside of me and came after just a few thrusts. He flipped me over so that my back was to him and my arms were over the front of the tub. He thrust into me again from behind, and I cried out. He reached his hand around to rub my clit roughly and I whimpered, begging him to make me come. He grunted as he drove into me over and over before I screamed as my orgasm hit me. He slowed his movements but did not stop. He grabbed my hips to pull me closer, letting him reach deeper. I reached behind me, curling my hand around his neck, my other hand braced against the edge of the tub. He wrapped my hair around one of his hands, pulling it ever so slightly and giving him access to my neck. I moaned as he carefully sucked the skin along my throat, my fingers curling into his hair, holding his head against me. I felt him getting harder inside me as his climax built, and I thrust my ass back against him harder, eliciting a hoarse groan from him that drove me back over the edge. He pressed his forehead to my shoulder as he came; he held my ass against him until his cock stopped pulsing and his muscles relaxed.

He cradled me to him after that and turned the hot water back on. He held me for a long time before the hot water finally ran out, and he carried me out of the tub and set me down to dry off. I wrapped the towel around me and walked back into the bedroom. I decided to pull out a tank and shorts set that Alice had picked out for me a while ago, rather than get dressed all over again. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I love you, Eleanor Cullen," he whispered in my ear.

Turning to face him I said, "I love you too."

He looked around the room. "It looks nice in here."

"Thanks. I really think this place is coming together," I said.

He raised an eyebrow at my phrasing and I rolled my eyes at him, laughing.

"How were your meetings?" I asked.

"Boring. I couldn't get home fast enough," he said. "You seem to have settled in okay."

"Yep," I said with a chuckle. "Alice called while you were gone. If Edward calls this weekend, don't answer."

"What? Why?"

"Apparently it's _my_ fault, since I didn't agree with his babysitting idea, that Bella made a break for it earlier to go hang out on the Reservation."

His eyebrows shot up. "Holy shit. Is she okay?"

"She's fine. He's pissed apparently, but she's fine. He came back early though, and will have to take another hunting trip. Alice thinks he will go Thursday," I said.

"Hm. Maybe I will tag along this time," he said.

We headed back to the living room and sat down and watched the news. It was an oddly normal thing to do together; it felt nice. Or it did until we saw the stories of new murders and disappearances and photos of victims flooded the screen. We flipped from the local station to CNN for a while, and eventually the story popped up there as well.

"Shit," I said. "How long do you think before the Volturi starts sniffing around?"

Christopher thought for a moment. "Honestly, I'm surprised they haven't already," he said.

He changed the channel then and we sat there for a while longer, before we decided to head to bed for an early night, where we ended up staying for the rest of the weekend.

When I woke up on Sunday, Christopher wasn't next to me. "Chris-" I started to call him, but then stopped when I heard his voice. He was on the phone. I grabbed my robe and wrapped it around myself and walked out to where he was standing. He took my hand and put it against his chest while he spoke. It was my father; they were discussing the increase in news coverage of the Seattle violence.

"Sorry, I thought I would get back before you woke up," he said. "He called to see if we'd seen or heard anything unusual. I think he's getting nervous about us spending time here before this issue is dealt with. He's worried the Volturi will come while we're here and somehow stumble upon _you_."

"Oh," I said. My father had always been concerned about the Volturi finding out about me. He wasn't hiding my existence per se, but he was concerned that Aro would be overly interested in my existence. Now that they knew through Alice and Edward's thoughts, seen by Aro, he was even more worried.

I looked at Christopher and could see in his eyes that he shared this concern. "Shh," I said. "Don't worry about that, okay?" I said gently. "I love you, and I'm not going anywhere."

He took my left hand and kissed it, and looked down at my ring contemplatively. "Listen, Ellie," he started cautiously.

"What? Don't tell me you've changed your mind?" I said, joking.

He shook his said and hugged me tighter. "No way. Never. Actually, I was wondering if we could talk a bit about the wedding. I know we said we would wait until after Bella had changed and we were sure how she was handling everything," he said pausing, eyeing me cautiously.

"Yes," I said, waiting for him to continue.

"And you know that I don't want to push into doing _anything_ before you are ready."

"Yes," I said again.

"Okay. How would you feel about, um, eloping?" he barely whispered.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15. Marriage.

"What?!" I almost shrieked, surprised.

"It's just, with everything that is up in the air right now, I don't want anything to happen, before..." he trailed off.

"Honey, nothing is going to happen, to either of us," I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. "But, if it's that important to you, then of course."

"Of course?" he asked, shocked that I went along with it so easily.

"Christopher. When I agreed to marry you I would have done it right then if that's what you wanted. I only have one concern."

"What?" he asked.

"You know my sister has seen this entire conversation right? I don't think we will be able to keep it secret."

"Hm. I hadn't considered that. Do we need to keep it secret? I mean it was really just the ceremony and extravagance of an "Alice Affair," as you put it, that we were holding back on for now, right? We can still do that later, if you want."

I nodded. "I don't want my parents to be hurt though."

"I don't want that either. I bet I know who could help us with that though," he said with a smile. "Alice?" he said out loud, as if she would appear before us. My phone rang, I answered immediately, looking at Christopher with a bewildered expression.

Alice began speaking very fast. "I won't tell them. From what I can tell, as long as you tell them soon, they will understand," she said.

"Really?" I asked.

"Really. You've decided to do it, haven't you? It's clearer now. If you're happy, then they will be ecstatic. Go look in your closet," she said.

"Huh?" I said, confused, though I did as she asked. I saw a garment bag hanging there that I didn't notice before. Inside was a beautiful ivory colored sheath dress that looked like it was from the 1960's. It had a delicate lace detailed bodice and trim below the hem. I gasped and turned on Christopher.

"You two PLANNED this," I shouted into the phone.

She giggled. "I have no idea what you're talking about!" and with that, she hung up.

I stared at the dress in front of me, trying to catch my breath. "Is this okay?" Christopher whispered against my neck. I nodded, feeling tears in my eyes.

"Yes," I breathed. "Where?"

"Upstairs, on the roof. Come on, let's get dressed."

He pulled out a gorgeous dark gray suit with a midnight blue tie. He dressed quickly while I fumbled with separating my dress from the hanger. I slipped the dress over my head, and he came up behind me and zipped it up.

"I love you, and I cannot wait for you to be Mrs. Dawling." His breath against my skin made me tremble. I turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Thank you, Christopher. I love you so much."

I found the shoes that Alice clearly meant to go with the dress. I looked in the mirror and pulled my hair back into a low, sexy ponytail, with long strands framing my face.

He grabbed my hand. "Come on."

We walked upstairs to the roof access, and sure enough there was a minister standing between two beautiful flower arrangements. As we approached him, I saw one photographer standing off to the side, clicking a few pictures of us walking hand in hand together. _I almost said no to that, but I thought you might want pictures._

"You thought of everything." I said.

The minister shook our hands and began his short introduction and proceeded to the vows. I could barely concentrate to repeat my promises to him. As I heard him speak though, I was able to pull it together. When I heard the minister say, "Do you, Eleanor Elizabeth Cullen, take this man to be your husband?" I found my voice.

"I do," I said, smiling and willing the tears in my eyes not to fall. The minister handed me a ring to put on my husband's finger, a solid platinum band.

"Do you, Christopher Nathaniel Dawling, take this woman to be your wife?"

"I do," he said, smiling more broadly than I think I had ever seen. He put a band on my finger, encircled by diamonds.

Christopher's mouth was on mine as I heard us announced as "Dr. and Mrs. Christopher Dawling." I kissed him back, tears running down my face. He wiped them away gently.

After a few minutes we were directed toward the ledge to stand in front and pose for some pictures with the skyline and water behind us. We sat up there for a while after the minister and photographer left, congratulating us. I leaned against him and sighed, in awe of what he had pulled off today.

"Well, Mrs. Dawling," he said, "as much as I would love to keep you here to myself for a _very_ long time, we need to be heading back to madhouse."

"We need to tell them tonight," I whispered, turning myself around to face him.

"Absolutely," he answered. His thoughts made it clear that he would gladly tell everyone we met along the way back to Forks if he could. He bent his head down and pressed his lips to mine for a long, heated kiss, pulling back reluctantly.

As we got closer to the house, I started to fidget nervously with the rings on my finger. Despite what Alice predicted, I was afraid that my parents would be upset that they were not included. He put his hand on top of mine.

"Don't worry," he said. "It will be fine."

Alice greeted us quietly at the door. She grabbed my hand and hugged me. _Congratulations little sister!_

I smiled. I was going to ask her where Mom and Dad were, but she beat me to it. "They're in the kitchen. Everyone else is out."

I breathed a sigh of relief; I didn't want to do this in front of everyone at once. As we walked upstairs, Christopher grabbed hold of my left hand. _Do you want me to tell them?_

I nodded, smiling in thanks. He squeezed my hand as we stepped into the kitchen.

"Hi Ellie, Christopher," my father said, coming over to give me a hug and shake Christopher's hand.

"Hi Daddy. Hi Mom," I said hugging my mother as well.

"How was your weekend?" she asked. "How's the apartment coming along?"

"It was great, Mom. I think it's starting to look really nice, your suggestions were spot on, as usual."

"Good, I'm glad," she said, smiling warmly.

Christopher cleared his throat slightly. "Carlisle, Esme, we want to tell you something," he said. "Do you have a moment?"

"Of course," Carlisle said, curiously. He gestured for us to sit at the kitchen table. "Go on."

After we were all seated, Christopher continued. "While we were in Seattle, we decided that we didn't want to wait to get married. We decided," he swallowed nervously, "to have a quiet ceremony while we were there. We weren't trying to leave anyone out, but-"

I hadn't looked them in the eye the whole time he spoke. I held my breath when my father cut Christopher off.

"You can relax, both of you," he said softly. "It's okay, we're not angry. Surprised, but we are not upset with you."

I looked up. They were both smiling broadly at us. The rest of the family reacted similarly as they all trickled back into the house. After a few hours of congratulations and catching up, we excused ourselves to unpack our things.

Thursday afternoon, Alice left to pick Bella up for our "slumber party." I expected that Bella would not be too pleased by her captivity. Esme had picked up some food from Port Angeles, which I was going to eat with Bella do she didn't have to eat alone.

While Christopher and I were still upstairs Emmett called to him to hurry up. "Get moving Chris or we're leaving without you!"

"That's your cue I think," I said. He had his arms around me before I finished my sentence. Emmett started making smacking noises with his mouth as Edward and Jasper laughed.

"He's going to be insufferable isn't he?" Christopher said with a groan. "I'm going to miss you."

"You bet I am bro!" Emmett shouted. "Get your ass down here!"

"That's okay. You have plenty of time to make it up to me," I said with a wink. I leaned up to kiss him, pulling him close with my hands in his wild hair. "Have fun Dr. Dawling."

"You too, Mrs. Dawling."

After he left, I headed downstairs to greet Alice and Bella. "Hey guys!" I said as they came in. Bella glared at me. "For the record Bella, I tried to dissuade him from this. Your disappearing act the other day didn't help."

She stormed off to call Jacob and then to leave a scathing voicemail for my brother.

She saw the addition to my left finger when she came back into the living room. "Um Ellie? Aren't you supposed to wait until after the wedding to wear the wedding ring?" I hadn't worn my rings to school and I hadn't mentioned to her that we had eloped. I figured Edward would have told her by now.

I smirked. "I did."

"HOLY CROW!" She shouted. "You got married? This weekend?"

"Yep," I said.

"Congratulations," she mumbled before sighing irritably. "You know this just going to make Edward double down his efforts to convince me to...you know," she nodded toward my rings.

I laughed. "Yeah, probably."

Bella's mood did not improve as the evening wore on. Alice was trying to hit all the slumber party highlights and Bella was not having it. She asked where her things were, so I walked with her to Edward's room.

"Your stuff is in- holy shit," I said as she opened the door. Edward had totally moved his stuff around to make room for an enormous bed. It must have arrived while Chris and I were in Seattle, I realized. Apparently Bella wasn't the only one who was out-of-the-loop, I thought to myself.

"Uh, yeah," Bella said, dumbfounded.

I said good night and told her to come find me if she needed anything. When I got back downstairs Alice was giggling. "Oh yes," she said, "I forgot to tell you that _Edward _got a bed!"

"I noticed!" I said with a laugh and nodded upwards. "She's a little taken aback."

"That's what happens when you're off spending time with your _husband," _she almost sang the word. "You miss things."

I rolled my eyes and sat down next to my mother. "Alice," she admonished, but she was smiling.

I stayed up with them for as long as I could. Rosalie came downstairs after talking with Bella for a while. Shortly after this I went upstairs to bed, missing my husband. I shook my head; I really wasn't used to that word yet. I lay in bed and smelled his scent on his pillow and imagined his arms around me while I slept.

"I can't _believe _her!" Alice yelled, pacing the living room the next day, trying desperately to see any sign of Bella's future. "Edward is going to _kill_ me!"

I sat beside my mother; both of us tense, listening my sister's manic ranting. The boys would not be home until late, and Edward would surely be furious at both of us once he learned that Bella had escaped our watch. Damn that Jacob Black, I thought. He showed up at the school, taking us by surprise. There was no way we could stop Bella from running to him without drawing attention to ourselves.

We had debated calling Edward, but even if he had his phone on, there really there wasn't much he could do, except lose his mind and break the treaty. That would not be helpful. So instead we waited. Several hours later, Alice finally saw a flash of a sodden Bella returning to our house on a motorcycle. She was only a few minutes away.

Alice went out to the garage to wait for her, and when she came in she went straight to Edward's room, clearly upset. Tired of waiting around for Christopher to come home, I decided to go to bed myself.

A few hours later I felt cool, familiar arms around me. "Miss me?" he whispered in my ear.

"Of course," I said sleepily. He kissed down my jaw to my neck, and I tried unsuccessfully to suppress a yawn. "Sorry," I whispered.

He chuckled. "Sleep, love."

I pouted but I was too tired to protest.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16. Graduate.

It was back to school as usual on Monday, much to my chagrin. "You have what, 10 days left?" Chris reminded me when I griped about having to continue this charade. "Not much longer, honey."

When he picked me up that afternoon, we lingered for a while in the school parking lot, talking. We'd had other priorities after he returned from the hunting trip, and hadn't taken much time for chatting and catching up. He told me about their trip and I told him about Bella's slight freak out over our wedding and her successful escape with Jacob.

"I heard about that," he said with a frown. "Alice unloaded the details on Edward the moment we got home."

"Huh," I said. "I figured I would have heard yelling and such when he found that out."

"Nope, he didn't really say anything. I heard he and Bella talking before you woke up that night, and it sounds like he's going to ease up on her a bit about the reservation visits."

"Good. I think he's been making it worse," I said. My phone started ringing. I looked at the screen - it was Edward. "Edward?" I answered. "Were your ears burning?"

"What?" he answered gruffly. "Never mind. Listen, I need to talk to everyone as quickly as possible. Someone has been in Bella's room."

"Someone? Who? We will be right there." I said. Edward hung up without answering my questions. Christopher, having heard the conversation, turned the car on and we drove home.

"He doesn't know who it was?" Christopher asked, confused.

"Apparently not," I said. "He would have known if it were Victoria."

As the school year finally came to a close, we had all taken to swapping shifts with the wolf pack to stand guard over Bella and Charlie's house, following Edward's detection of the visitor in Bella's room. We weren't sure what to make of the intrusion, since the strange vampire had not direct contact. As I expected, Christopher protested my participation in the protection detail, but I insisted that he was going to potentially be in harm's way, I would be right beside him. As a compromise, my father suggested that the two of us take shorter shifts in the early evening, and Christopher eventually relented.

On top of this, Alice had us all frantically working to ready the house for the Graduation party she decided to throw. Edward had forced her to tell Bella, who was dreading the event. Graduation day finally arrived and I awoke to Alice shaking me awake. "Come on Ellie! I need to get you dressed so that I can get over to Bella's!"

"Oh my god, Alice, I can DRESS MYSELF," I argued, sleep still thick in my voice. I could hear Christopher laughing at my ire. "And YOU!" I said, sitting up and glaring at him, "Why did you let her in?"

He didn't answer, and instead he grinned mischievously. Alice pulled me up and showed me a short, sleeveless gray dress with a sleek black belt in the middle that she intended for me to wear to the ceremony. "You can wear this for the party as well, or you can wear this one tonight," she explained, holding up a black, sleeveless chiffon party dress with polka dots.

"That one, tonight, please," said Christopher, indicating his preference for the black dress.

"Good choice, Dawling," Alice said approvingly. She threw a pair of black heels at me, declaring me "almost all set." She left the room in a hurry. _Oh! Happy birthday little sis, _she thought as she scurried away.

"Jesus, what just happened?" I said, exhausted by her energy.

I turned around and Christopher was standing with a black velvet box with a bow on it. "Happy Graduation baby," he said. "Also, Happy Birthday."

"Christopher, you didn't have to do this," I said, taking the box and opening it slowly. Inside was a beautiful necklace with a large emerald pendant, surrounded by tiny diamonds. "Thank you," I breathed. "It's beautiful." He took the necklace and stood behind me to fasten it. I turned to kiss him in thanks. "I love you."

"I love you too, and I am very proud of you," he said with a wink.

I rolled my eyes and swatted at him. "Don't make fun of me."

"I'm not!" he said, laughing. His eyes turned serious. "I mean it. And I am so incredibly lucky to have you."

We descended the stairs a few minutes later and found the rest of the family, minus Alice, who had left to dress Bella.

"Happy Birthday, Ellie!" my parents said together. I was greeted with hugs from the whole family.

We left shortly after, Carlisle and Esme dropping Edward off at Bella's along the way. Jasper rode with us, and Rose and Emmett followed. When we got to the school, Christopher pulled my robe from the trunk and handed it to me. He kissed my forehead gently, taking my hand. _You left your rings on. _I nodded and he smiled. _I love you, Eleanor Dawling._

I headed to the gym with Jasper and we met Edward, Alice and Bella there. "Get used to this," Jasper said with a wink. "You've got many more of these ahead of you."

I groaned inwardly. I wasn't sure I could do a lifetime of high school. Teachers were calling us all by last name to line up; I stood behind Edward. He was trying to figure out what Alice was hiding from him, she was repeating something in Arabic in her head.

We processed in and I saw my parents and Christopher. The ceremony was unnecessarily long and full of clichés. Finally we were called to cross the stage, signaling the end was almost here. "Eleanor Elizabeth Cullen," I heard. My family clapped proudly and my head was full of silent cheer.

When it was over, I went outside to meet Christopher. Alice was sure to put us to work and I wanted some time alone with him before our house was taken over. I was worried because they were planning to head to Seattle next week to deal with the newborns.

We were about to get in the car when I grabbed Christopher's arm. "Wait," I said with a gasp. Edward's thoughts were frozen in terror. Bella had apparently had an epiphany and THAT'S what Alice was hiding. "The newborns. She's created them," I whispered. "Victoria."

He stared at me, not understanding until Edward appeared suddenly. "That's it, isn't it?" I asked.

He nodded, his face frozen in horror, still struggling to process Bella's realization. Without a word, he turned on his heel and walked away.

"Get in the car," Christopher ordered. "Let's get home."

The revelation that Victoria was behind the army was disheartening; we knew we would be outnumbered. Our cousins had already refused us their assistance because we would not allow them to exact revenge on the pack for the death of Irina's mate. Despite all of this, my insane sister was still going ahead with the party.

"There's nothing we can do tonight," she chirped. "The party is still on!"

We spent the hours before the party ordered around by the tiny pixie, moving furniture and hanging lights. Charlie dropped Bella off shortly before the other kids arrived, and she looked around in shock at what Alice had done.

"Don't look so surprised, Bella." I said with a laugh. "You know how Alice is."

"I see why you eloped," she said. I heard Edward register this comment with amusement. l laughed. "She still had a hand in it," I said. Soon the house was packed with curious guests, music blaring and enough food set out to feed an army. I had to hand it to my sister; she could throw a good party. Christopher grabbed me to dance, drawing comments and stares before others joined in.

I closed my eyes and held on to him tightly, moving with the music. He was a fantastic dancer; every once in awhile would spin me out away from him and pull me back dramatically. Mostly though he kept his hands low on my hips and watched me intently as we danced. His expression was so sexy and serious I lost track of everyone around us as I pulled his hips even closer to mine.

As we moved together, his lips brushed my skin, below my ear, his cool breath sending delicious chills down my body. He kissed me lightly long my neck, down to my shoulder. We moved away from the party, finding a dark corner out of view of the crowd.

"Excuse me, Miss, but I need a moment of your time," his whispered, brushing my hair back from my face and leaning in to kiss me. I sighed and pressed myself against him. His hand ran down my back and down my thigh, lifting it slightly so that it wrapped around his leg. I was seconds away from abandoning the party when Alice's thoughts crowded my head.

_ELLIE. KNOCK IT OFF OR I WILL SEND CARLISLE TO FIND YOU._

"Shit," I whispered. "We need to get back. She's going to send my father."

"You're a married woman, there's nothing wrong here," he protested, his lips still against mine, his hand moving to my inner thigh. I whimpered quietly, struggling to keep my composure as he slipped his hand under my dress and played with the edge of my underwear.

"Um. Married or not I don't really want to have the image of my father seeing this in my head," I replied. I bit my lip to stifle a moan as he stroked me slowly once, before removing his hand from under my dress with a reluctant sigh. We headed back to the living room, crowded with dancing humans, where we maintained a slightly more modest posture. He had his arms around me and pulled me to him so my back was against his chest. He put his lips to my shoulder and I leaned further back against him. He was thinking about what he would have preferred to be doing and making it very hard to concentrate.

Edward looked over and grimaced. I laughed softly in response to my brother's discomfort. "My brother doesn't appreciate the show babe," I said to my husband, reaching up to put my hand on his face.

He pushed himself against my ass and I again had to stifle a groan at the feeling of his hard cock pressed against me. "Too bad," Christopher whispered with lust in his voice. "Tell him to mind his business."

"Behave yourself," I whispered. "I know you don't want Esme coming over here and giving you hell."

That did it.

"_Really_ Ellie," he whined. "You had to bring up your _mom_ right then? Jesus."

Just then, the odor of wolves was thick in the air; I sniffed and wrinkled my nose.

"Who let the dogs in?" I muttered to myself. Christopher chuckled. I was half listening to Bella speaking with the dogs when I saw the vision through Alice's mind. I watched the scene, my face frozen in horror. Christopher, alarmed, turned me so I was facing him and not the party guests.

"What is it?" He whispered. I couldn't answer.

The newborns. They were coming here. Attacking my family. I watched in horror as we were all taken down, one by one. My hand flew to my mouth and tears filled my eyes.

"Chris," I said with a sob, clutching his arm tightly.

He dragged me to the kitchen. "Look at me," he said urgently. _What did she see?_

"They're coming. They're coming here. We won't... Oh god." I said, unable to articulate what I had seen in my sister's mind.

When the party was over, we cleaned up quickly and prepared to meet the wolves in the woods. They had agreed to help us stop the newborn invasion, and Alice and Jasper were sure with their help, we could stop them. Christopher dragged me upstairs to change, knowing I was having a hard time collecting myself. I couldn't stop seeing the vision that Alice saw earlier. When we got to my room, he hugged me tightly, stroking my hair and trying desperately to calm me.

"It's okay baby, that's not happening anymore. We're going to be okay," he whispered in my ear. Trying to settle my nerves, I crushed myself to him and kissed him hard.

"Please," I asked. "I need to feel something else."

He nodded, his lips still against mine. He picked me up and pulled me to the bed so I was lying on top of him. I ground my hips into his, and reached underneath me to undo his pants. He ripped my underwear out of the way and guided me down onto his cock. I moaned and closed my eyes and I slowly moved above him. He ran one hand along my ass and reached between my legs with the other to rub my clit as he thrust into me.

"Ohh," I groaned as I felt his fingers on my slick skin.

I watched him watching me as I moved over him. He sat up, pulling me to him, fisting one of his hands in my hair, holding my head to his as he kissed me feverishly. His other hand held my shoulder, holding me tightly against him as our movements became more insistent, frantic. His grip on me tightened further as his climax hit him, and I could feel his entire body tense as his cock pulsed inside of me. He slammed into me once more, and I came immediately. I gasped, the suddenness of my orgasm taking my body by surprise. He laid himself back on the bed, pulling me down on top of him. He held me so tightly I could barely breathe, but I made no attempt to loosen his hold. The vision flashed in my mind again, I couldn't seem to shake it. I turned my head into his chest.

"It was so clear," I said, mumbling against his skin. "I know she doesn't see that anymore, but it was _so_ real," I said. I looked up at his face with tears brimming. "I can't lose you, Christopher."

"Shh," he said, pressing his lips against my forehead. "That is not going to happen, I promise."

I nodded, still not quite believing. I was relieved that we would be training tonight. The rest of my family was no longer worried about losing this fight. The wolves would all but ensure victory. They were worried, however, about whether I should fight since despite my strength and speed, I was not a full vampire. I argued that none of them were as strong or fast as our attackers, that's why Jazz was going to teach us. I could see and hear the argument forming again in Christopher's eyes and mind. I shook my head.

"No. We've had this discussion. I'm going. I will _show _you that I can handle myself. I can do this. I promise," I said, echoing his words. He nodded, not convinced. I could still hear him plotting. He was going to ask that I work with him, Carlisle and each of my brothers if I faltered he would continue to argue his point.

"Sweetheart," I said gently. "Don't you think that's a little much?"

He shook his head. "No."

I sighed. "Come on. We're going to be late." We got dressed and left for the clearing.

When we got there he immediately pulled my father and brothers aside to float his idea. I sat with Bella and scowled, irritated that they all seemed to like the idea.

Bella looked at me. "They're going to let you fight?"

"They're going to put me against all of them-" I nodded toward the conspirators, "and if I don't screw up then yes."

She laughed. "They forget you're not me."

"Pretty much."

When we broke up to start sparring, Carlisle tapped me on the shoulder. I got up and faced him, nodding that I was ready. He charged, reaching to grab me around my waist like a newborn would. Anticipating his strike I leapt out of the way and took his legs put from under him. Everyone watched with surprise that I dodged his attack and got him down that quickly.

"Who's next?" I said, dusting myself off.

Jazz stepped up. He was the most difficult. We ended in a draw, as did he and Edward. Edward and I ended the same as well, each of us equal to the task of anticipating actions. I held my own with Emmett and then Christopher.

"You were showing off a bit weren't you?" He said.

"A bit," I said, grinning at him. "You took it easy on me."

He raised his eyebrow. "You think so?"

"So do you believe me now?"

"I still don't like it," he said with a sigh. "But yes. You are amazing."

"If you think that's amazing, you should see Alice." I nodded in the direction of Alice and Jasper. Jazz had just called to Bella to watch. Christopher watched in awe of my psychic sister, Jazz couldn't get a hand on her. Eventually Jasper decided that we had had enough. We permitted each of the wolves to familiarize themselves with our scents. Most of the wolves eyed me curiously, not knowing what to make of me.

"She's half-human, half-vampire," I heard Edward answer when questioned by Sam. Sam huffed and turned to look at Carlisle. I shook my head as Edward answered. "No, not Carlisle's."

This time Carlisle spoke, clearing his throat. "We don't know who her biological father is."

"I'm right here, guys," I said, annoyed at being talked about like I wasn't there.

_The mother?_ Sam thought.

"Dead," I said. "Anything else?"

Sam curled his lip slightly but decided to let it go. Christopher hissed under his breath. "Can we just go home now?" I asked him. I was exhausted.

We got undressed for bed and slid under the covers and I curled up to him and fell asleep. My dreams were not quiet that night. For the first time in months I woke up, sobbing and calling out in terror. I could hear his voice but it sounded far away.

"Ellie. _Ellie_. Ellie, honey it's Christopher. Wake up, it's okay." His got voice got louder and slowly I was aware that I was sitting, held tight to him. His chest was wet from my tears and I was panting between sobs.

I opened my eyes but didn't move. "I'm sorry," I whispered as soon as I could speak.

"Shh-" he was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Come in," Christopher said, covering me with the blankets. My parents looked in cautiously.

"Ellie, honey, are you okay?" My mother asked. I nodded.

"Sorry guys. I'm okay," I said, weakly.

My dad looked at me. _Was it Alice's vision? _I nodded again. I'm not sure how much Alice told them specifically but I didn't want to talk about it. I did my best to appear calmed and smiled weakly at them, hoping they would leave. They did after a moment.

Christopher looked at me. "Honey, are you really okay? You scared me when you didn't wake up."

"I will be fine. Really. I have crazy dreams sometimes but it passes." I played with the ring on his hand, still too anxious to sleep. He watched me without speaking for a moment, worried. "I guess I haven't really done that since we've been together, huh?"

"No," he said. "I know you said you have dreams about your...birth, but I didn't realize how intensely you reacted to them."

"Sorry," I said again, still fidgeting with his ring. He took my hand in his and placed his other hand under my chin, raising my face.

"Stop. Don't apologize. I was just worried."

I smiled a little. "Come on," he said pulling me back down against him. "Sleep now, love."

"Don't go anywhere okay?" I whispered.

"Never," he said.

I slept until late into the afternoon. "Afternoon, sleepyhead," Christopher said softly. "How are you feeling?"

I stretched and sat up. "Much better. Did you move at all?"

He smiled and kissed my nose. "Not an inch."

"Good god, isn't that boring for you?"

"No. I like to watch you sleep. Plus I was worried you would wake up if I moved," he said. "You seemed to sleep soundly after."

I nodded. "I did."

"Good. Still worried?" he asked gently, his hand rubbing my arm.

"Of course. But not like I was."

He nodded and kissed me. "I heard the others talking when you were sleeping. We are going to meet again tonight and then we will all go hunting tomorrow. Edward and Bella are downstairs talking to Jasper. Edward is going to sit out and stay with her."

"Makes sense," I said.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I'm good until we hunt tomorrow. I do think I want to shower though."

"Do you want company?"

"Would you be offended if I said no?" I replied. He laughed.

"Of course not. As long as you don't kick me out of bed," he joked with a wink.

"Deal." I got up and headed to the bathroom. I showered quickly and found some leggings and a long tunic to wear over them. After I dressed I tied my damp hair up and walked downstairs. Bella and Christopher were talking; she was asking about his history.

While they talked, I went to see if any of my siblings were around. I found Edward in his room with a ring box in his hand.

_Making progress are we? _I asked him, eyeing the box.

He smiled at me. _Alice thinks maybe tomorrow._

"Wow," I said aloud. _She's seen the wedding you know._

"Really?" he answered aloud this time. "She hasn't thought of that around me."

"Of course she hasn't. But I'm not giving anything away," I said, sticking my tongue out. _I didn't get to plan my own, don't think I won't be in on yours._

He rolled his eyes. _Hey. Don't worry about this fight. Everything is going to be fine._

I smiled and peeked into Rose' s room. "Hi Ellie. How are you?" She said, not looking up from painting her nails.

"I'm good. Just wandering."

"Where's the husband?"

"Downstairs. He was talking to Bella."

She nodded once. Bella was still not her favorite person. "How are you liking married life?" She asked this with a knowing grin.

"Fine thank you," I said.

"You two are going to get kicked out before long," she said with a laugh. "Trust me."

"Well as soon as Seattle is clear..." I said. I missed our place suddenly.

"I know. Soon," she said, understanding my expression.

That night, training went much the same as the night before. Christopher carried me back.

"Um. I can run you know," I said as he scooped me up.

"Conserve your strength," he said with a smile. When we went to bed, I fell asleep easily but my dream returned.

"Ellie, sweetie. Please. Ellie. ELLIE. WAKE UP." He was shaking me gently, gently for him anyway.

"Chris?" I said sleepily. He buried his head in my shoulder. "You were dreaming sweetheart."

We sat up for a while. I told him what I saw. My family overpowered one by one. I saw Christopher held by one and leapt to knock the newborn off. Everything went black. I felt better after telling him.

"Baby," he said, his hand cradling my face. "Look at me. That is not going to happen. I swear I won't let it." _Alice still sees Edward's wedding right? Everything will be fine._

The day of the battle Christopher and I dressed quietly. I was glad. I didn't want him to say anything to me "just in case" if it was going to sound like a goodbye. We gathered downstairs and headed to the clearing with the rest of my family. Edward and Bella had camped out on the mountain. Alice watched for signs of approach, I watched her, tracking her visions and reporting them to my family. Jasper assigned everyone positions in the field according to what she saw. Soon, the attackers' approach was imminent. When even I could hear the aggressors' footsteps, I braced for battle with the rest of my family.

They got closer, and picked up speed. The wolves had gathered with us, and the first wave of newborn vampires barely registered their presence. Sam was clever, he took advantage of the surprise and a few wolves were able to easily wipe out a half dozen vampires at once, with the other wolves still holding their positions. Soon, the attackers had flooded the field and the battle was in full swing.

I proved to be a useful distraction for the blood-crazed newborns. I had just enough in common with humans to draw their attention, but my vampire-like reflexes kept me out of their reach. Leah and Sam were able to take out a few more newborns in pursuit of my scent but not able to lay hands on me.

I scanned the field for the rest of my family's status. Everyone was holding their own against the intruders, and it appeared that we were on our way to putting the invasion down without incident. My attention was always on Alice as well, looking for any changes or decisions by Victoria. Before the field was cleared of newborn vampire, a vision of Alice assaulted my mind - Christopher in a perilous hold, seconds away from being pulled apart.

"CHRISTOPHER!" Alice and I gasped together.

I turned, and saw the newborn take hold of my husband, and at the same time as my sister I leapt to counter the attack and free him. Alice was able to pull his arms off of Christopher, and I caught the vampire's head in my hands as I soared over the inexperienced immortal. I wasn't strong enough to knock his head off, but it was enough to knock him loose.

He recovered quicker than we anticipated though, and caught me by my legs. I saw the scene in Christopher's mind as I went flying and hit the ground with a sickening _thud_.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17. Hurt.

Everything was black. I could hear noise around me, but I couldn't see anything. I tried to force my eyes open, but it hurt, and I was tired. I wished the noise would quiet down. I wondered where Christopher was; it was unusual for him to not be with me while I was sleeping. It didn't smell or feel like our room though.

"ELLIE!" I heard a voice calling my name urgently. "ELEANOR! Oh my god, Ellie, please, please, baby WAKE UP." Christopher? He was upset. I must be dreaming again. Crap, I thought, I need to wake up.

"CARLISLE!" The voice called. "Over here! It's ELLIE! She's hurt!"

I felt cold hands at my wrist, my forehead; more hands on my arms, trembling. "Ellie," Christopher gasped, a dry sob escaping his chest. "Please be okay honey."

"Carlisle, please," Christopher pleaded. I wanted to tell him it was just a dream. I wanted to sit up, but I couldn't figure out how.

"Eleanor?" My father's voice said, calmly but not without urgency. "Sweetie, I need you to wake up now. It's over."

My eyes fluttered, but I recoiled from the sunlight. It hurt my eyes, in fact, my whole head and neck were screaming. "Mom? Daddy? Christopher?" I said, confused.

"I'm here, Ellie," Christopher said from my right side. "We're all here."

"Ellie, honey, thank god," my mother said. "Carlisle is she okay?"

I tried again to sit up, but I felt like I couldn't move.

"Christopher," I heard my father say. "Take her home. NOW. The Volturi will be here momentarily. I will be there soo-" he stopped short. A scream echoed through the trees. Someone else was hurt, I wondered. I wanted to ask but couldn't focus.

Everything faded back out for a few minutes, or longer; I wasn't sure. I became aware of movement, and someone carrying me. I felt nauseated from the motion. "I feel sick," I mumbled, and immediately I felt us slow down.

"Sweetheart, do you need me to stop?" Christopher asked, still holding me.

I breathed in slowly several times. "No," I answered. "I just want to sleep." He started moving again, but more slowly. I must have dozed off in his arms, because the next thing I was aware of was lying in my bed. My head felt like someone had driven a pickax through my skull. I sobbed loudly once from the pain, starting to come around.

"Ellie?" a voice said. "It's Rosalie. Can you open your eyes please?"

"Rose, is she okay?" Christopher questioned my sister. I didn't want him to worry.

"Carlisle thinks she might have a concussion," Rosalie answered quietly.

"Is that possible?"

"I don't know. She's half-human, so I'd say there's a 50-50 chance." she answered. "Carlisle had to go tend to Jacob's injuries, and he will be here soon, but he asked me to examine Ellie in the meantime. Can you give me a hand?"

Christopher must have agreed. "Honey?" he said. "Rosalie is here with me. Your dad asked her to examine you to make sure you're okay. Is that alright?"

I nodded, my eyes still closed. "Rosalie," I groaned, "my head hurts. Is that supposed to happen?"

She chuckled. "To you, probably. I saw your leap. That was an impressive move."

"You shouldn't have done that Ellie," Christopher huffed.

"Christopher," Rosalie admonished. "Not now, please."

"Eleanor," my sister said, sounding like a doctor suddenly. "Can you sit?"

I exhaled, evaluating my body. "Maybe? Hang on a sec," I said, gritting my teeth as I tried to move. She waited. I moved to sit up, and Christopher was there instantly, assisting me. My head pounded. "Ow."

I took several slow breaths to keep from throwing up from the pain. "My head. Rose. What is wrong with my HEAD?" I said loudly.

"Open your eyes again, Ellie," she said. I opened them, squinting slightly. She examined my eyes, using nothing other than her advanced vision. _Okay, I'm done_, she thought_. Do you feel okay?_

I shook my head. "I need to lie down."

"Christopher, can you help her lie back down?" she asked.

"What's wrong with her?" Christopher asked as he helped me.

"I think she has a concussion. Carlisle will confirm it when he gets here. Keep her still for now." Rosalie advised. "Jasper, can you come here a moment?" I heard her ask. I closed my eyes and was vaguely aware of Christopher's hands on mine. Jasper must have come over then because everything got very heavy. I wanted to ask them to cut it out but I was so tired. I fell asleep, I think, shortly after.

As I slept, I dreamed in flashes from both Alice's original vision and my actual memories from the battle. My damned subconscious was so confused.

"Christopher," I mumbled. "No, watch out!" Louder now. "CHRISTOPHER!" I shouted, sitting straight up in a panic. I looked around frantically when I realized no one was with me. In a flash, Christopher, Rosalie, Carlisle and Edward all appeared in the doorway.

"It's okay, honey," Christopher said soothingly, "I'm here. I'm sorry, I went to tell Carlisle and Edward how you are but I didn't want to wake you." He sat down next to me and put his hands gently on my arms, supporting me like he was afraid I would fall.

"The newborns? The Volturi?" I asked, disoriented.

"Gone," he answered.

"Everything is fine, Ellie," my father tried to assure me. "Can you tell me how your head feels?"

I thought for a second. The splitting pain had dulled significantly. I was still a little woozy though.

"Better? I think. It's not hurting as much," I said. "I'm still kind of dizzy."

"Good." He looked relieved. "Does anything else hurt?

"My leg is a little sore where the newborn caught me, I think."

Christopher nodded. "You're bruised up pretty good there, babe."

"Can I take a look?" Carlisle asked. I nodded. I turned so that my legs were hanging over my bed and Christopher helped roll up my pant leg. I could see my right calf was yellow and purple and a little swollen. I cringed as Carlisle gently examined the area.

"I don't think there are any breaks," he said. "So that's good. You will probably be sore for a couple of days but you appear to be healing quickly. If you are in pain I can try to give you some medication to see if that would help you."

I shook my head. I was tired again. "I'm okay. Can I lie down now?"

"Of course honey," Carlisle said. He helped me lay back down and kissed my forehead. "I will check on you later."

"Chris?" I mumbled sleepily.

"I'm here," he said. He carefully lay down next to me and reached an arm gently over me, resting his hand on my stomach. "Ellie, please do not ever scare me like that again," he whispered with his lips against my shoulder.

My dreams were quieter as I slept this time. There was a nagging question though in the back of my mind. If only I could figure out what it was. I was not sure if it came to me as I awoke or if the realization is what disturbed me. My eyes opened.

"Victoria."

Chris laughed softly. "No, it's Christopher," he said jokingly.

"No I mean what happened to her?" I said urgently.

"Gone. Edward took care of her."

"Everyone else is okay?"

He nodded, stroking my arm soothingly with his fingers. "Well, Jacob got a late hit and broke some bones, but Carlisle's been down there -"

"WHAT?" I cried in surprise, interrupting him. "On the reservation?"

"Yes. They let him and Edward pass to help Jake."

"Wow."

"So, how do you feel?" he asked me.

"Like I cracked my head on a newborn vampire," I said, laughing weakly. "How long have I been up here?"

"About 18 hours," he answered. "Do you want to get up?"

"Yes. And if that is successful I would really like to take a shower."

"I can help you with that," he said. I started to protest but he cut me off. "I don't mean like _that," _he laughed. "But I want to make sure you don't fall or something."

"I knew what you meant," I said, rolling my eyes. "But you must want a break. Why don't you go downstairs?"

"Nope," he shook his head. "You're not getting rid of me that easily. I get to take care of you right now, like it or not." He helped me sit and slowly bring my legs around. "You okay?" I took a breath and then smiled at him, nodding slowly.

He helped me stand. "Still okay?"

"Yes."

He kept his hands on my arms just in case I got dizzy and eventually we made it to the bathroom. The shower felt good; Christopher washed us both quickly. He gently washed my hair, careful not to put too much pressure on my head. After we dried and dressed I felt much better. I walked downstairs holding Christopher's hand. He watched me like I would pass out any moment. When we got to the bottom of the staircase he reluctantly released me, albeit only to my mother's arms.

"Ellie, sweetie, I'm so glad you're okay," she said quietly, placing a kiss on my cheek as she hugged me gently.

"Hi mom," I whispered, hugging her back.

I looked around and saw Alice and Bella sitting on the couch, speaking with Renee on speakerphone. I swear it sounded like they were making wedding plans.

"I thought you said I was only out 18 hours?" I said to Christopher. "What the hell did I miss?"

I looked at Bella's hand, and sure enough, Edward's mother's ring was on his hand.

"Holy shit," I said, earning a disapproving look from my mother. "Bella?" I said, and she looked up. "He finally wore you down huh?"

She half-smiled, and fooled with the ring self-consciously. I went to hug my soon-to-be sister.

"Congratulations. When is the wedding?"

"August 13th," Alice said, not looking up. "Are you going to help or what?"

"Of course, but can I have a minute?" I asked, feigning annoyance at my sister's impatience.

She sighed. I leaned toward the phone, "Hi Renee!"

"Hi Ellie! Feeling better?" Renee answered me. They had told her I was getting over a case of the flu.

"Much, thank you." With that I got up to escape to the kitchen for a moment. I was surprised to see Edward looking out the back window.

"Hey you. Congratulations," I said to him.

"Thank you," he answered, beaming.

"Alice didn't kick you out?" I asked, entirely serious.

He chuckled. "Not yet. Clearly they're not discussing anything of dire importance yet."

"I don't even know what they're doing in there. You know she's got 99% of this thing planned already right?" I said.

"That does not remotely surprise me," he said. "How are you? Feeling okay?"

I nodded. "I will be so happy when people stop asking me that."

He laughed loudly this time. "Good luck with that. Christopher about lost his mind. Can't say I blame him. That was a hell of a risk you took there."

I rolled my eyes. "How's Jacob doing?"

"He's going to be fine. He's still in some pain but I think the breaks have mostly healed. Carlisle went back down there a little while ago. He will be happy to see you up."

_Ellie get back in here! I thought you wanted to help?_

I sighed. "Coming Alice."

Later that night, Christopher and I sat together on the back porch. He would occasionally look at me as if he were mentally examining me to make sure I was all right.

"Honey I'm okay, you don't need to look so worried," I said gently, leaning up to kiss him lightly. "I'm very sorry that I frightened you."

"No, I'm sorry. I don't mean to hover; I just can't get the image of you lying there out of my head. For a second..." he trailed off, sucking in a sharp breath to collect his emotions. "I can't live without you, Ellie."

It was my turn to comfort him. "Shh, Chris," I said, my hand on his face. "You don't have to, you won't _ever_ have to. I'm okay, we're okay."

He kissed me urgently, and his mouth was so hard on mine that I almost couldn't catch my breath. He pulled away, sheepishly.

"I'm sorry, I know you need to heal."

"I didn't mind," I said with a smile.

He sighed, combing his fingers through my hair. "Do you know when I first knew that you were mine? Or at least, that I wanted you to be?" I shook my head.

"That first handshake. Do you remember that?"

"I felt it too." I whispered. He hugged me to him and kissed along my jaw and down my neck.

"You know what?" I said.

"What?" he mumbled, his lips still on my neck.

"I miss our place. We can go back now right? There's no danger there." He nodded against me, his hair brushing against my face.

"Good, let's go."

"Now?" he said.

"Why not?"

"Well, for starters, you've just had a head injury, which isn't terribly typical for you. Don't you think we ought to wait a day or two, or at least get an okay from the doc?" he reasoned.

I pouted, and he chuckled. "I promise, we will be on our way the moment he says it's okay, but until then I'm not taking any chances."

He ran his fingers up and down my arm absently. I wanted him, and the feeling of his fingers against my skin was driving me crazy, but I knew he would put that off as well. He must have known immediately where my mind went because suddenly he stopped the motion. _None of that either until you're in the clear. Be a good girl please._

"Ugh," I groaned, laying my head back against his chest.

The next day, I spoke to Carlisle, and asked him to _please_ tell Christopher that I could handle a two-hour car ride, and to see if I was cleared for normal activities. I went up to our room, smiling victoriously.

"Daddy's downstairs. He's waiting for you - I told him that he had to tell you specifically that I could handle going _all the way_ to Seattle," I said rolling my eyes at the last part, "_and_ that I needed an official decree to resume normal activities." Christopher laughed, shaking his head at me, but he was downstairs in a flash.

He came back and gently scooped me up into a hug with my feet several inches off the floor, kissing me. _Let's get going._

"Yay!" I said. I started to pack a bag when Alice breezed in.

"Stop packing. You're all taken care of."

"What?" I said, momentarily forgetting the favor I had decided to ask of her. "Oh! Thank you Alice!"

She smiled. "Be prepared to start helping get this wedding ready when you get back! We have so much to do!"

"Deal."

We rode in silence most of the way to Seattle. I was so excited to go back, especially now that the looming threat of the newborns was no longer there. I wasn't sure how long we would stay. I know Chris would have to get back to work in a couple of days, and outside of that, I just wanted to focus on us for a while. He held my hand the entire drive.

When we got inside our apartment, the door was barely closed before he had me in his arms. He was gentle, still worried about hurting me, but his need was clear. I hoisted myself up and he moved his arms to support me, his hands gently squeezing my ass as I wrapped my legs around him. He carefully leaned me against the door and our hips ground together through our clothes while we kissed frantically. I planned ahead when I got dressed earlier and wore a skirt.

Holding me with one hand, his other hand ran between my legs and yanked the fabric of my underwear out of the way so that he could enter me with his fingers. I gasped has his thumb began rubbing my clit. He nearly sent me over the edge but he pulled back, and replaced his fingers with his cock.

"Oh god, yes," I moaned as he drove into me. He groaned loudly and thrust harder, shaking the door. We came together and our movements stilled for a moment. Without breaking our connection, he moved us back the bedroom.

Several hours later, I lay against his chest, tracing circles on his skin with my fingers. "I missed this," I said.

"It hadn't been that long," he said jokingly.

"Ha ha. No I mean being here. In our own space."

"Indeed," he said.

"Also," I said, looking up at him with a grin. "Forty-eight hours _is_ a long time." He smiled and nodded his agreement.

_Indeed,_ he thought. Raising his eyebrow suggestively, he rolled us over so I was underneath him.

I'm not sure when I fell asleep, but we did watch the sun rise from our bed before I did. When I woke up, I looked at Christopher. He was obviously awake, but his eyes were closed. "Morning," I said. He opened them and smiled.

"Morning love," he replied. "Or, afternoon really. Sleep okay?" I nodded.

"You looked like you could have been sleeping for a second," I said, my hand lightly tracing the shape of his chest.

"I was just thinking," he replied.

"About what?"

"You. Us. How quickly my life changed this last few months," he said. He took in my confused expression. "Don't look so worried, these are all good things. Amazing things. I just like to stop and take it all in sometimes."

I smiled. "I know exactly what you mean."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18. Wedding.

"Christopher what are you doing? We have to go!" I shouted toward the bedroom. We were barely going to be there in time for the rehearsal. Alice was going to kill me.

"Sorry! I will be right there!" he shouted back from the bathroom. He was at the door in another second, looking gorgeous in his light gray suit. "Let's go!"

We bolted downstairs to the car and zipped through the city to the highway. I prayed for no cops or traffic.

"Sorry honey," he said, placing his hand on my leg. "The meeting with the dean ran over and I eventually had to excuse myself. Luckily he considers a family wedding a good reason." When Christopher returned from work that afternoon – _late – _we were in such a hurry to leave that I hadn't even had time to chastise him for putting us so far behind schedule.

"It's okay. I'm bound to end up on Alice's shit list for something regardless of when we show up."

I smoothed my light blue dress and watched the trees fly by out the window. We hadn't been to my parents' house in almost three weeks. I had joked earlier that I'd hoped they hadn't rented my room out.

"So." Christopher said. "Edward is getting married. To a human. This is going to be a hell of a wedding."

"It certainly will." I agreed with a laugh.

When we arrived at the house, we had about thirty minutes to spare before the rehearsal began. The rehearsal, of course, was entirely unnecessarily, and only served to keep up appearances. All we really needed to do was get Bella down the aisle tomorrow; the rest would fall into place perfectly. Alice glared at me as we scurried in the door.

"You're LATE," she hissed.

"Sorry, sorry," I said. I kissed my parents hello quickly and bolted upstairs with Chris to drop off our things. We raced back downstairs and were sent outside to mingle with Charlie and Renee and the minister. I hugged Bella, who looked like she was going to be ill.

"No puking," I whispered to her. "It isn't get you out of this." She laughed nervously and Edward rolled his eyes.

_Sorry we're late. Your brother-in-law took forever getting his act together, _I thought to my brother.

Edward chuckled. _That's okay. You haven't missed anything._

Those of us not needed for the actual ceremony took our seats as Alice called us all to order. Chris grabbed my hand and kissed my neck. "You look beautiful by the way," he whispered.

We watched Edward, Bella and the minister go through the motions for tomorrow, and when Alice was satisfied we all got ready to head to dinner. I was glad for my half human body on nights like this. I could do human food without an issue. My poor husband and family would have to put on the great act of eating, only to dispose of it all later.

Christopher and I sat down with Charlie, who eyed our wedding bands. I had put my foot down when it was suggested that I remove them for this weekend's events. Charlie didn't say anything.

After dinner, the party slowly dispersed. On our way out someone called to Christopher. "Dr. Dawling! What are you doing here?"

Christopher turned toward the sound of his name, moving to go say hello. "I will catch up," I said as he walked away. I went to give Carlisle a heads up so any stragglers could be ushered by quickly, and then went to find my husband.

"Christopher, are you going to introduce me?" I asked as I took his arm.

He smiled broadly at me. "Andrew, this is my wife, Ellie Cullen Dawling." I reached out to shake his hands catching my father's eye as he left.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Dawling," he said.

Christopher turned back to me and said, "This is Dr. Andrew Stevens. He's a professor at UW."

"The pleasure is mine, Dr. Stevens." I said. "I'm so sorry to pull him away, but we really need to be going soon."

Dr. Stevens nodded. "That's right, your brother is getting married tomorrow, isn't he?"

"Yes, we just finished the rehearsal dinner."

"Well best of luck to your brother and the bride," he said.

We said our goodbyes and were back in the car quickly. "That could have been difficult. I'm glad he didn't see you until the end," I said.

"Yes. That could have taken some explaining to the humans," he winked at me. "How scandalous, a high school student and a college professor."

"Tsk, tsk," I clucked mockingly.

After a moment I remembered that he was supposed to go hunting tonight with my brothers. "What time are you guys leaving?"

"11:30 I think. Emmett said we might have to forcibly remove Edward from Bella's room so I suppose we are stopping there first."

"I guess I will be Alice's bitch most of the night."

"Have fun with that," he cracked. He grimaced like he was uncomfortable. "Honey is there anyone in the area?"

I listened for a second and shook my head.

"Ok. I'm going to pull over and deal with this," he said with his hand on his stomach.

"No problem sweetie," I said as he yanked the car to the shoulder and got out.

A minute or two later he got back in. "Feel better?" I asked.

"Yes. I don't know how you can stand to eat that stuff," he said with disgust.

"One of the few human traits I don't mind," I said with a laugh.

When we got back to the house, we stole upstairs to our room for a minute or two before we each got called away. I put my arms around his waist and pulled him close. "So, professor," I said. "Don't have _too_ much fun without me."

He kissed me. "Deal," he said. He looked at the clock. "I have to go meet them outside I think."

I released him with a sigh. I heard my brothers out front. "Love you."

"I love you too," he said.

I went downstairs and was immediately set to work clearing furniture out of the front rooms. The ceremony would be inside and end just past sunset, and the guests would file outside for the reception. I grabbed a couple antique end tables and hauled them carefully to the moving truck that Emmett had rented earlier in the day and waited for my father to finish positioning a sofa in the cargo area.

"Here, I will take those," he offered. I passed them up. After the rooms were clear, he pulled away with the truck. It was still going to be on the property, but out of the way of the incoming guests. A few hours later, I was exhausted. I sat down at the bottom of the staircase intending to close my eyes for a moment. The next thing I knew, my father was gently shaking my arm, and when my eyes opened I realized the sun was rising.

"Ellie, honey, you better move. Alice is on a tear," he said.

"Shit," I said. "I didn't mean to flake out like that."

He laughed. "Consider yourself lucky."

Alice stomped into the room. If she weren't so terrifying, the image of the tiny pixie fuming would have been kind of hilarious.

"Eleanor. I suggest you shower and get yourself together. Nap time is over."

I saluted her. "Sir, yes sir." My father bit his lip trying not to laugh. Alice glared and walked out the door to her Porsche, off to pick up Bella.

"Poor Bella," I said. That did it. Carlisle cracked up. As instructed, I went upstairs to shower. I had to dry my hair, which took a while and then I had to figure out how to wear it.

"Rosalie?" I called to my sister when it was dry. "Does Alice care how I wear my hair?"

She appeared in my doorway. "I don't think so. Do you need help?"

I shook my head. "Thanks though." I curled it so my waves hung neatly down my back and pulled half of it into an elegant twist.

I went in my room and pulled out my dress and hung it up to put on later. It was a beautiful lilac sheath dress with a crochet over lay and shoes in the same color. I put my robe on and finished my make up. As I was putting everything away, I heard Bella and Alice come in and Alice called me up to her room.

"Nice work with your hair," she said with a nod of approval.

"Thanks boss."

She rolled her eyes and threw some nail polish to me. "Can you do her nails?"

"Yep!" I crouched down in front of Bella. "Hey there, how are you holding up?" I asked my almost sister. She opened one eye to look at me.

"Breathing," she said.

"That helps," I said with a grin. When I was done with her nails, Alice approved them. Rosalie came in and worked on Bella's hair. I heard the boys coming back and excused myself for a moment.

_Eleanor, _Alice thought sternly. _Behave yourself. Remember your hair is done and there's no time_ _to redo it._

I went to our room and found Christopher in the bathroom getting ready to shower. "Hey baby," I said as I stood in the doorway. "Did you have fun?"

Already undressed, he came over and scooped me into a hug. "We did," he said with his lips against mine. "Mm I missed you," his hands slid down my robe.

"Sorry hon, you've got to get ready. And I have to get back, with not a hair out of place. I just wanted to tell you hello," I said.

He pouted as he pulled back. "Tease."

I giggled and kissed him quickly. "I love you."

"I love you too." With a sigh, he turned to get in the shower. He smacked my ass as I walked out.

I bolted back up to Alice's room. Bella's hair and makeup was almost complete. Alice looked at me. "You might as well go back down and get dressed now."

I went back down to my room, and Christopher shot me a confused look as he came out of the bathroom a few minutes later. "Boss-lady told me to get dressed," I said with a shrug. I slipped on my dress and heels, and added the emerald pendant that Christopher had given me; he stood behind me and helped me fasten the clasp.

"You are gorgeous as ever," he said, kissing my neck. I sighed and leaned back against him. "Watch it," he warned. "We don't want to put any hairs out of place."

I straightened up and stuck my tongue out at his reflection. He went to put his tux on and I watched as he dressed. Alice had demanded that the men in the family wear tails and he looked so damn sexy and I let out a hiss.

"Shit. I need to go upstairs or we are going to get in trouble." He smirked, and did a theatrical spin to show off. I smoothed my dress and took in a deep breath. "I will see you downstairs Dr. Dawling."

He grinned and kissed me. "See you soon, Mrs. Dawling."

I went back upstairs and found Bella getting zipped into her dress. Alice had truly outdone herself. "Bella, you look amazing," I told her.

"So do you," she said, blushing furiously. I shook my head.

"Nope. Not even close." I said. "Just keep breathing okay?" I said when she started to look anxious.

"Alice?" I called. "Do you need anything?"

"No! Go on down!" She shouted from the bathroom.

I looked back at Bella and smiled. "You got this," I said. She smiled weakly.

I went downstairs and found Christopher in the crowd, talking to Garrett and Kate. I exchanged hugs with them and the rest of the Denali's came over to say hello. Irina had chosen not to attend. The pre-processional music started so Christopher and I took our seats at the front with my family. He put his hand on my knee and squeezed.

When the ceremony was over, the minister announced my brother and his new wife and we all stood to applaud. The guests filed out of their seats and Carlisle directed the guests outside for the cocktail hour and reception. I looked over and saw Bella looking thoroughly overwhelmed by the sea of people in front of her, waiting to congratulate them.

"Come on," I said, pulling on Christopher's arm, "Let's head out and we will catch them later."

He nodded and took my hand as we turned to head outside. It was a beautiful night and Alice had done an impeccable job of planning the decorations. We shook hands and said hello to guests. Some of Carlisle's colleagues from the hospital had been invited, and Alice had invited several of Bella's friends from school. Jessica Stanley's thoughts were obnoxious as usual, ranging from disappointment that there were no signs that Bella was pregnant to flagrantly inspecting my husband and trying to come up with reasons to speak to him.

After a few moments, everyone had gathered outside. The bride and groom were announced and toasted and took the floor for their first dance. Christopher led me out to dance once the floor opened to the rest of the party.

"Are you sorry that we skipped out on all the fanfare?" he asked softly, his lips against my ear. I shook my head.

"No. Our wedding was perfect," I said, smiling. He smiled back and leaned in to kiss me softly. We danced a few moments more before Edward tapped my husband on the shoulder.

"May I borrow my sister for a moment?" he asked. Christopher nodded, and handed me over, going to speak with Jasper and Emmett.

"Nice party," I said. He grinned. "Seriously though, congratulations."

"Thank you," he said, still smiling.

"I've yet to catch your wife to tell her that. Does she know where you're taking her yet?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Nope."

"Well, I'm sure she will love it."

Bella walked over to us to reclaim her husband. "Aha, I was just telling Edward I hadn't had a chance to congratulate you yet," I said, stepping back and reaching to hug my new sister. "So congratulations!"

"Thank you, Ellie," she said. I turned and hugged my brother and they went back to the dance floor. As I watched them, I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see my father, holding out his hand.

"I didn't get a chance to do this at your wedding," he said with a wink. "Would you like to dance?"

I smiled. "Of course, Daddy," I answered, and we walked out to the dance floor. I was a good dancer but I always felt a little uncoordinated dancing with my husband and family members since they were naturally so much _more_ coordinated than me. While we were dancing, I noticed Edward and Bella heading toward the far side of the house, away from the party. Carlisle shot me a curious look.

"Hm," I mused. "That's interesting. Apparently Edward invited Jacob. He just arrived. And there are a handful of wolves hanging around just in case." I frowned slightly, listening to make sure nothing got out of hand. At first everything was calm, Edward reappeared and asked Rosalie to dance. He shot me a look.

_Don't worry about it, they're fine_, he thought.

I nodded to him and Carlisle and I continued dancing until the song ended. We walked toward the table where Christopher and Esme were sitting and talking. Before I could take a seat beside my husband, I registered a change in Jacob's thoughts, he was angry. Bella had mentioned something to him about their honeymoon and it set Jacob off. "Oh shit," I whispered, listening.

Carlisle and Christopher stood instinctively, but Emmett was already there, Edward was ordering Jacob to remove his hands from Bella's arms. I held my hand up signaling to my husband and father to wait a moment; Seth was talking to Jacob and the confrontation ended as quickly as it began.

"It's fine now," I said. "They are leaving." They nodded and relaxed.

Carlisle sat back down next to Esme, draping his arm around her shoulders and kissing her cheek.

"Excuse us, for a moment," Christopher said to my parents, standing turning toward me. He took my arm and directed me back toward the house. "I missed you," he murmured, pulling me close to his side. He opened one of the back doors and we slipped inside into the kitchen. "I just wanted to take a breather if that's okay," he whispered into my neck as he pulled me to him.

"No complaints here," I responded as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "I missed you last night." I reached up to kiss him and his hands dropped lower, one slipping under the hem of my dress, up the back of my thigh to my ass. We fooled around there for several minutes, and it was with reluctance that I pulled away. "We ought to get back, you know."

He withdrew his hand, rolling his eyes dramatically. "I know, I know," he grumbled.

"Behave yourself," I said laughing. "We have plenty of time for that later."

"I'm counting on that," he said, his eyes blazing. He straightened his suit and I smoothed my dress, and I ran my fingers through his hair to calm his wild curls. As we walked toward the doors to the outside to rejoin the party, he took hold of my hand and gave it a squeeze. "By the way," he spoke softly. "I don't have to be back on campus for the next couple of weeks, so if you want to hang out here for a while we can do that."

I smiled and squeezed his hand back. "That sounds good, Chris." We had spent a lot of time in Seattle this summer, so it would be good to hang out with my family for a while.

As the reception began winding down, Christopher was called on to help Jasper gather the couple's bags and pack the car so they could head for the airport. After we saw them off, the house quickly emptied of wedding guests. I didn't realize how noisy everything had been until the crowd had dissipated and there was quiet in the house.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19. Family.

After the house had mostly been returned to its normal state, Christopher and I went back to our room. He shut the door and came to stand behind me as I took off my necklace and began to pull out the pins in my hair. He carefully helped me remove them, kissing along my jaw and neck as he worked. He slowly ran a finger down the back of my neck to the zipper on my dress, which he pulled down, kissing along my back as he moved lower. He slipped the dress off my shoulders and let it fall to the ground.

I turned around and kissed him, unbuttoning his shirt and running my hands along his muscular chest. I unfastened his belt and pants and dropped slowly to my knees, trailing my tongue along his skin before taking him in my mouth. He thrust urgently in my mouth, groaning as I sucked harder in response. He put his hands on my head, grabbing my hair roughly when I flicked my tongue across his head. I could feel him starting to lose control, his movements more frantic. I moaned as he exploded, and didn't release him until I had licked him clean.

He pulled me up and roughly brought us down on the bed. He was hard again immediately and he stroked my wet flesh with his hand, thumbing my clit while I writhed beneath him. He pushed into me and moved my legs so that they were over his shoulders, allowing him to move deeper. He thrust hard again and again until I came, my muscles contracting around him, causing him to lose control again.

A few hours later we lay together quietly. Despite my exhaustion, I was thoroughly content to lie in Christopher's arms and had no interest in falling asleep.

"Did Alice or Esme tell you about their project?" I asked him randomly, my fingers absently drawing circles on his skin.

"No, what is it?" he murmured.

"They are building, or I suppose I should say rehabilitating an old stone cottage on the property for Bella and Edward."

"I thought the plan was to skip town soon so that Bella could be...changed?" he asked, confused.

"Yeah, I'm not really sure how that fits either. I thought it was a done deal that it would happen pretty quickly when they got back, but maybe Alice sees something differently? Either way, I think that's the plan for the next week or so is to get that done."

"Noted," he said, understanding that I meant we would be tapped to help. "Can I interest you in a hunt tomorrow, before our time is spoken for?"

I nodded, yawning. "That sounds good to me."

"Silly half human," he teased, bringing my hand to his lips. "Go to sleep, honey." I curled into his chest and closed my eyes, holding his left hand to my own, playing with his ring as I drifted off to sleep. "I love you," I whispered to him sleepily.

"I love you too, always," he whispered.

The next afternoon, we returned from our hunt to find Alice waiting for us with a battery of assignments. I went with Esme to look at the floor plans she had drafted, which needed to be finalized so that the boys could finish the framework on the inside. The exterior walls were all reinforced and ready for drywall but Alice claimed that Esme wanted my thoughts on the bedroom and closet layout before the internal walls were finished. I knew from Alice's thoughts, however, that she gave me this assignment not because Esme needed my assistance – I certainly had no talent for this kind of thing – but because Esme had wanted to spend some time with me. Everything looked fine to me; Esme's eye was hard to beat.

We gave the plans to Emmett and he, Jasper, and Christopher got to work. We had spent a week working on the cottage and it quickly began to take shape. By the beginning of the second week, the exterior was all but completed and the drywall had been hung on the inside. Esme and I had plans to begin painting the next day. We planned some of the furnishings and window treatments already, so we built the neutral walls around the colors of the fabrics and furniture.

Each night, Christopher and I would lie together, making love and talking quietly about our day. It was strange to be so fully reabsorbed into my family's busy household, and to have less time together alone. We hadn't been back to our Seattle home since we left the night of the rehearsal.

I asked him about this one night, about two weeks after the wedding. "How are you holding up, being back in the Cullen fish bowl for so long?" I picked my head up off his chest to look at him.

He smiled, running his hand through my hair. "It's fine. I don't love being separated from you so much, but I am glad we are helping with the cottage. I love your family, and I know how much they love you," he said. "I suppose I can live with sharing you with them," he added, winking at me.

I laughed. "Good. I was just thinking about how different it is when we're here, and also about how that will be a lot for Bella to get used to, too." He nodded at this.

"It will. But I'm sure she will be fine. I think having your own space, be it in Seattle or on the other side of the property helps."

That night I had the most bizarre dreams. I could feel my anxiety building as I slept, because vivid dreams usually ended with the one I dreaded the most. The scenes changed rapidly; I saw Nahuel's face, then Christopher's. Memories from our wedding flashed through my mind, and then the delivery room where my horrific birth took place. I woke up suddenly, confused and breathing rapidly. I saw Christopher lying next to me, looking concerned.

"I'm sorry I woke you, but I thought you were having one of your dreams, I didn't want you to get upset," he whispered, holding me close and kissing my forehead.

"Thanks," I said. "It was just strange flashes mostly, but I think that part was coming." I shuddered against him, still trying to calm my breathing and heart rate.

I wasn't able to go back to sleep, so I decided that I wanted to get up and shower to clear my head. Christopher kissed me and got dressed, heading downstairs to get today's assignment for the cottage. It was coming together nicely and was just about completed.

I got out of the shower and tied my hair in a knot, dressing in a lightweight t-shirt and jeans, and headed down to the kitchen. I made myself a cup of coffee and sat on one of the stools along the island in the kitchen, watching the sun starting to peek through the trees.

I wasn't paying much attention to what was going on in the rest of the house but noticed that Alice was making a call, seeming upset about something. "Carlisle!" she shouted to our father as she dialed. I heard Bella's voice on the other side of the phone. Alice started to ask if she was all right when Carlisle took the phone.

I almost dropped my coffee cup when she spoke. Christopher found me sitting in the kitchen, frozen in shock. "Honey what's wrong?" he asked.

"Bella is pregnant," I whispered.

Christopher stared at me in shock. Hadn't we just been discussing this? They thought they could be careful.

Carlisle came into the kitchen then, he looked pale even for a vampire. "I assume you heard?" he said, sounding ill. I couldn't speak; I nodded in response.

"What are you going to do?" I asked when I found my voice again.

"He's bringing her home tonight. We will remove...it," he said without looking at me.

I nodded. "Good. She's on board with that, I assume?"

"I discussed it with Edward. I don't see where there's another option...I don't think she could survive..."

"Delivery." I finished his sentence. "Delivery will kill her." I swallowed hard. Christopher put his hands on my shoulders. I cringed as my father's memories from my birth crowded my brain. I needed to get out of there.

Christopher followed me as I walked outside and ran into the woods. I decided to hunt again, and he followed suit. After I fed, I sat down on the ground, numb. I didn't know what to say or think, but I felt like my presence in the house would be nothing but a reminder of Bella's fate if they weren't able to end this pregnancy. Christopher watched me carefully, coming to sit by me and pulling my head against his chest tenderly.

"Don't worry," he said. "They will take care of it, she will be okay."

I didn't know how to express what I was feeling. I took a few deep breaths to collect myself. We sat like that for several hours; I couldn't bring myself to back inside yet. I felt Chris move to glance at his cell phone. "Sweetie," he said gently, "They're going to leave for the airport soon. Do you want to go?"

I nodded, though part of me wanted to get in the car and go straight back to our apartment in Seattle instead. "Okay," he said. "We need to get back then."

We rose slowly and ran back; the family had gathered by the cars waiting for us. We rode with Carlisle and Esme. Rosalie had a strange expression on her face like she was concentrating very hard on something. Her thoughts revealed nothing; she was dismantling Emmett's Jeep in her mind. Carlisle's eyes met mine in the mirror.

_Ellie. I'm sorry I didn't control that a little better. I know you must have already been thinking about...that, and I shouldn't have made it worse._ I shook my head. "Don't worry about me Dad, I'm just worried about Bella. I don't want her to go through that."

He looked back at the road. No one really knew what to say. We stood at the baggage claim in silence. Edward and Bella appeared in the crowd and walked quickly toward us. As they got closer, Bella broke out into a run - right to Rosalie. We all started in shock and Edward and I realized simultaneously what had just happened.

Bella wanted to keep the baby.

Rosalie rode with her and Edward in Carlisle's car. In Emmett's Jeep, the rest of us rode in silence.

"Emmett," I said. "Did you know about this?"

He looked at me, "No. I assume she was worried you would find out and tell Carlisle."

I nodded, fuming. "Of course she was."

"She's not going to let them near her you know," Emmett said.

"Emmett, you can't possibly agree with this? Bella. Will. Die." I said angrily, ignoring my mother's protests to drop it until we get home. "For real die. There will be no changing her if this happens. It won't let her live that long."

"Listen to you, Ellie," Emmett said. "It. You know that's not what Rosalie and Bella think. They're going to want your support."

I dropped my head in my hands. "Emmett! What the fuck do you think Edward will do when Bella dies? Seriously." Christopher squeezed my shoulder.

When we got to the house, Rosalie was crouched in front of Bella, snarling at Carlisle and Edward. I couldn't stand the pained expression on my brother's face, and the anger in his thoughts raged in my head.

Emmett flew upstairs to stand by Rosalie. I walked into the room, horrified at the scene. "Rosalie! What the hell?"

Edward and Carlisle both simultaneously replayed the scene on the car ride home. Rosalie wasn't going to let them anywhere near her.

"Rose," I said more calmly. "Is this really necessary?"

She snarled at me. I growled back. "Rose. Be reasonable. Even normal pregnant women need medical care. This isn't remotely normal. Get your head out of your ass."

She glared and shook her head. I took a step closer. She snarled again and Christopher crouched in front of me, hissing at her. I put my hand on his shoulder, "Chris, it's okay. She won't really attack me." He didn't relax. "Chris."

_Ellie. _Edward called. _If we can convince Rose to back off, can you speak with Bella? Please. I don't understand how she thinks she will survive this, but you might be able to convince her to let us help._

_I will._ I responded to him. _Edward, I can't promise I will change her mind. If this is her... choice, I can't discount that._ He hissed. Christopher looked up, confused. I shook my head at him.

"Bella?" I addressed my new sister directly. "Can I please talk to you? I promise I won't touch you. I just thought you might have some...questions that I could help with."

"Rose?" Bella said quietly. "Rose, I'd like to talk to her. Can you wait with Carlisle and Edward in the other room?" Rose hissed, but stood. Waiting for the others to file out first. She glared at me as she passed.

Bella was sitting on the couch, looking pale and tired. I pulled one of the other chairs a little closer, facing her. "Hi," I said. "How are you feeling?"

She shrugged. "Ok right now."

I nodded. We sat in silence for a few moments. She spoke first. "Edward asked you to come talk to me right?"

"Sort of, but that's not really why I'm doing it. I told him that I wasn't going to dissuade you from your choice, but I want to make sure you have all the...information you need," I said gently. I sighed. "Bella. You know how this ends, right?"

She looked away. "It doesn't have to be that way."

"I've yet to encounter a hybrid that didn't kill its mother, Bella. Please don't forget that Carlisle and Edward delivered me, in a hospital."

She looked at me skeptically, "They didn't know what you were. Of course they couldn't react quickly enough."

"Bella. This thing is stronger than you are." She cut me off.

"I thought you weren't going to try to change my mind?" She said curtly.

"Look, I understand that this is your choice. I do. But," I was interrupted by Rosalie storming into the room.

"That's enough Ellie," she said, standing in front of Bella.

"Rosalie, really? This is ridiculous."

She didn't budge, and Bella didn't ask her to stand down, so I took that to mean that I was dismissed.

I sighed and walked out. I looked at Carlisle and Edward.

"Sorry. She's totally convinced that it won't kill her." Edward grimaced. He thought about the night I was born and leaned back against the wall, as if he needed the support. Christopher, who I hadn't even seen standing in the room, took my hand and led me upstairs.

"You looked like you needed a break. I know it doesn't really help this," he said putting his hand on the side of my head, "but I thought it might be good to get some space nonetheless."

I nodded, leaning into his hand. His touch was calming, and I crumpled into him, trying to hold back threatening tears. "I wish I had done a better job, talking to her," I said.

I felt him shake his head. "No way. This is not your fault, and it's not your job to fix. Don't do that."

"I know, but why won't she just stop to think, just for a second that we might be right?"

"Shh," he said. "Maybe she's right? Maybe it will work out okay," he said hopefully. "I mean, they do know what they're dealing with this time, right?"

The next two weeks were more of the same. Carlisle had to beg Rosalie for access to Bella, even to check her pulse. To make matters worse for me, Christopher was heading back to Seattle for a couple of days. The semester was starting and he had lectures two nights in a row.

"I can stay," he insisted. "I can have a TA handle the lectures. We're just handing out syllabi and doing reviews of previous material."

"No, it's okay. Go. Neither of us are really doing much good here," I said.

"Do you want to come back with me? I assumed you would want to stay, but you know I would love for you to come with me," he said. "It's your apartment too."

I smiled. "I know, but for now I will stay. I'll miss you." He kissed me.

"I love you. Call me if you need me okay? I will come straight back after my last class. Two nights," he said before kissing me once more.

"I love you too," I said as he turned to leave. I watched him drive off from the front porch. A few minutes later, I heard another engine approaching the house. It was Jacob Black, tearing up our driveway on a motorcycle.

"Um, Dad?" I said, knowing he could hear me. "Jacob is here. He's pretty pissed."

My father was at the door instantly and let Jacob in. Jacob stayed and talked to Bella for a while, after going outside to speak with Edward. I tuned out the conversations; I honestly didn't want to know. When he left, he was still angry. He didn't say a word to me as he stormed out. I peeked inside a little while later to see that not much had changed. I went upstairs to find Alice. She was sitting by her bed, with her head on her knees.

"Alice?" I said.

"Hi Ellie," she mumbled, not looking up.

"How come you can't see it, when you can see me?" I asked randomly. I knew she was struggling right now. Her head was, hurting, for lack of a better word, because not only could she not see the baby, but it also blocked her view of Bella.

She shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't know you until after you were born, so maybe that's it? Maybe it's because the outcome is entirely uncertain still?"

I nodded. "How come you didn't go with Christopher?" she asked, looking at me curiously.

"I felt like I shouldn't leave the family. I wish I had gone though," I said with a sigh.

"Take a car and go," she said. "Take Rosalie's. Have Christopher drop it into Lake Washington while you're at it."

"Now there's an idea," I replied with a dark laugh. I shook my head sadly. "No. I will stay."

A few minutes later, I heard two frantic minds approaching fast. _Circle the wagons, bloodsuckers,_ I heard Jacob think.

"What the hell?" I said, as Alice looked at me, confused. I ran downstairs to find Emmett and Jasper advancing on Seth and Jacob.

I saw it all in Jacob's mind and I stared open-mouthed. "Call Carlisle!" I heard Edward shout. Shit, I thought, I'd forgotten that he and Esme had left. I had my phone out. "On it!" I said as it rang.

"Ellie?" my father answered.

"Daddy, you guys need to get home," I said.

"Is it Bella?" I could hear the tires squealing.

"No, not directly." I explained as quickly as I could.

"We're on our way, Ellie," he said before hanging up.

"They will be here in a few minutes," I said. I leaned over the railing slightly, my head in my hands, trying to focus on what was going on in the minds of our protectors. My breath caught as I realized that Christopher was in Seattle and had no idea what was going on.

"Shit!" I said out loud as I dialed another number. He didn't answer. "Christopher, it's Ellie. Call me as soon as you get this. We have a problem and you need to come back." I sent him a text as well: 911 CALL ME. The phone rang ten minutes later; he was already in the car.

"Ellie?! Are you okay?" he asked frantically.

"Yes. Listen. Be careful. The pack knows about Bella. Apparently I'm not evidence enough that this thing isn't dangerous to more than just it's mother." I explained about Jacob and Seth.

"I'm on my way," he growled. I heard him gun the engine as he hung up. I waited anxiously outside until he arrived.

My parents pulled up a few minutes later. Seth had already explained the situation. Mom hugged me on her way in. "Have you spoken with Christopher?"

I nodded against her shoulder, trying not to start crying. "He's on his way," I whispered.

"Good. I will feel better when we're all together," she said.

"Me too," I said, worry plain in my voice. She smiled a little and kissed my forehead.

"He will be here soon," she assured me, touching my face briefly before heading into the house.

I sat down on the top step and watched the wolves. "Thanks guys," I whispered to them. Seth looked over and nodded. A little over an hour later I heard my car, and Christopher thinking _I'm almost there, baby_. Our guards let him pass and he rushed out of the car. I flew off the steps and crushed myself to him.

"I'm so glad you're okay. I was worried something would happen before I got here," he said, breathless. I buried my head in his chest, my arms locked around him. Eventually I pulled back far enough to speak.

"Jacob doesn't think they will attack tonight since we know they are coming. I'm sorry to call you back, but I was worried that if I waited you wouldn't be able to get back..."

He put his finger to my lips. "Hush. It's fine. And I was in the car before I even heard your voicemail. You are my priority."

"Your class tomorrow?"

"Covered. I have a TA and I asked him to plan to cover the next couple of weeks. I will check in by phone and email. I told them I had a family emergency." I nodded seeing it in his head. He had spoken with the dean from the car, telling him about an ailing parent that he has to care for; it was a believable cover story.

"Thank you," I said and kissed him quickly, and hugged him tightly. We went in and joined the rest of the family. Bella picked her head up as we came in.

"Christopher," she said weakly. "You didn't need to come back. Jacob's got this," she said, nodding to Jake, who had followed us in in human form.

"Nonsense. Family and all that, right?" he said, trying to keep his tone light. Sometimes I wished he could here my thoughts, I loved him so much right now. I told him so later that night. When Bella fell asleep and it seemed like things would stay stagnant for a while, we went upstairs.

"I can't tell you how much it means to me," I said as he disrobed to join me in bed. "You love them all, which I knew of course. But for some reason all of this has made it so much more obvious to me how amazing you are."

"You," he said, kissing me lightly as he climbed in beside me, "are adorable, and ridiculous, and so brave. I can't tell you how amazed I am, watching you stand by her right now."

"She's family, of course I will stand by her."

"And you are my family. I am here for the long haul, Mrs. Dawling." We kissed for a long time after that.

As I was drifting to sleep, and before I could stop myself I whispered, "You never regret this?" My eyes flew open, realizing how ridiculous this question was once spoken aloud. I looked in his eyes; he looked almost angry. I flinched.

"Eleanor Elizabeth Cullen Dawling," he annunciated my name with irritation, but his tone softened as he continued. "You are my life. My mate. I love you. No. I don't regret a second of our life." He cradled me gently and kissed my head. "Go to sleep, silly girl," he whispered.

Each day seemed to pass more quickly as we watched Bella deteriorate, knowing the birth, and her death, was rapidly approaching. Edward and Carlisle had a plan, and we all knew what it as just in case the wolves attacked. During the day we stood on guard, waiting for impending attack, but mostly waiting for a change.

Jacob was a constant in his human and wolf form. I knew of Bella's feelings for Jake, from Edward's thoughts. Christopher asked me one night about her fixation with him and I didn't know how to answer. He still didn't understand and to be honest nor did anyone else. It was Jacob that realized that she needed blood. Even I didn't realize that, which Rosalie loved to throw in my face. Christopher, thirsty, had trouble being around the blood cups.

"Sweetie," I said to him gently, hearing the struggle in his thoughts. "It's okay." He didn't want to admit the difficulty, but I eventually convinced him to get some air. He looked guilty as he went outside.

"Sorry Ellie," a weak voice said. I looked over at Bella and shot a meaningful glance toward the door where Christopher had just walked through.

"Don't be ridiculous Bella," I said. But I was worried about what might happen if my family couldn't hunt soon. Christopher was so new to this lifestyle, and even Jasper still struggled.

Carlisle, as if reading my mind for a change, started to discuss options with Jacob. It was decided that Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Christopher would go that evening. Carlisle would need to get more donated blood as well.

"I don't like it," Christopher said to me later. "We shouldn't be leaving the rest of you unprotected."

"Chris," I said firmly. "We won't be. You need to hunt. Come on, I think they are just about ready to go." I took his hand and he stood reluctantly. He hugged me tightly and kissed my hair. _Be safe_.

It all happened so quickly. I had been in my room, awake, anxious about the family being separated during such a tenuous time. I knew we likely wouldn't hear from them until they returned, but I wished I knew for sure they were okay and made it past the wolves unharmed.

All of a sudden there was a horrid snap, and screaming. I jumped off my bed and ran straight to my father's study, which had been converted to a medical suite. Edward and Rosalie flew up the stairs and I dove out of their way as they rushed Bella to the table.

Alice rushed over to Rosalie and clipped a blue tooth piece to her ear; Carlisle was on the phone. She started to cut and I tried to maintain my focus, ignoring Bella's screams and trying not to hear my own mother's in my memory. In a flash I saw Rose's expression change and Jacob flew across the table to take her out. I caught the scalpel that went flying and Edward took it and set to work.

_I __need your help, Ellie_. He showed me what he needed me to do so that he could break through the uterus and get to the baby.

Without time to set up the equipment, I held open the incision he made, careful to keep my hands out of his way. Now would be an awful time to be bitten.

I tried to focus on Bella, listening to make sure her heart was still beating. Before long Edward stood, holding the child, a girl. Renesmee.

After a moment things started moving quickly again. Bella's heart faltered, and Jacob immediately started CPR. I took the baby from Edward and met Rosalie in the hall.

"I'm okay," she said. "I've got it together."

I scoured her mind for any signs that she had not fully regained her composure and found none. I handed her the baby and went back in to help if needed.

"Edward what can I do?"

"Take over for Jacob," he snarled knocking Jakes hand out of the way. I nodded and started compressions. Edward pulled out a huge syringe. _Three count, move your hands. Got it?_

_One. Two. Three. _I moved and he drove the syringe into her chest, forcing venom straight into her heart. Jacob stormed out, mourning and disgusted. Edward resumed the compressions frantically pulsing the venom through her arteries. I stood back, not sure what to do at this point. I heard a gasp downstairs and decided to leave Edward with his wife and see what was going on now.

Jacob was on his knees, looking at the baby, completely dumbfounded. "Jacob, what the hell?" I said before realization dawned on me. He had imprinted on the baby. "Oh my god," I said. Rose glared at him, lip curled.

I heard the minds of my other family members, approaching as quickly as they could. Carlisle burst through the door and ran up to his study. Christopher practically flew to me; embracing me so forcefully I nearly fell backward.

As he crushed me against him I felt tears pour from my eyes. "Shhh it's okay," he said, stroking my hair. Are you okay? He thought. I nodded against him. I took several deep breaths trying to control the flow of tears. Is Bella...? He didn't want to think dead but I knew what he was asking.

Another deep breath. I shook my head. I could her heart rate picking up speed. I pointed up, and he listened. He sighed with relief.

"Ellie," Rosalie's voice interrupted our silent communication. I turned and she was holding the baby out to me. "Do you want to meet your niece?" I smiled at the child who looked at me curiously.

_Holy crap she's alert_, Christopher thought. I laughed slightly, nodding at him.

I took the baby and brushed her hair from her face. She looked so much like both Edward and Bella. I heard Carlisle say something about examining the baby. "I have her," I said softly. "I will bring her up."

Christopher moved so I could pass and followed behind me. I walked into the study and handed Edward his daughter.

Christopher took my hand and led me to our room. He shut the door and led me to the bed, sitting down and pulling me down to sit in his lap. He put his head against my shoulder.

"So is it over?" he whispered. "I mean, with the imprint and the wolves?"

"I think so. I don't think they can touch her, or us by extension."

I looked up into his weary eyes and put my hand on his face. He closed his eyes, leaning into my touch. I leaned closer and he opened them again slightly. "Hi," I whispered.

"Hi," he said before moving his mouth to mine. We undressed quickly; we both understood that there was a mutual need. I lowered myself onto him and he covered my mouth with his. I moaned into his kiss and moved over him quickly. He grabbed my breasts roughly and thrust into me harder. I threw my head back as he exploded inside me, writhing over him frantically until I was overcome by my own climax. Breathing hard, we both fell back on the bed. I rolled off of him to lie by his side.

"I'm sorry," he said. I looked at him confused. "I feel like we shouldn't be, you know..."

I laughed. "Stress relief."

He smiled. "So. Are you really okay? That had to be hard to see again," he said gently.

I thought about this, answering slowly. "It was hard to focus, not because of the blood, but because I could hear her screaming. In my memory." I shuddered. "But Bella's going to be fine, and that's what matters."

He sat up quickly when I mentioned blood and made a face. I didn't realize what his problem was until I looked at the clothes he had just removed. There was blood dried all over them. I had washed my hands but as he looked back at me he noticed splotches on my arms as well. He started laughing.

I stared at him until he regained his composure. "I didn't even notice until now," he said. "Come on, that's a little funny."

I chuckled. "I guess I ought to shower, huh?" I jumped up, desperate for the shower now and went into our bathroom and turned the water on. He didn't follow me, assuming that I needed some space. I showered quickly and felt much better when I got out. He had changed his clothes and was stretched out on our bed. He sat up again as I dressed and pulled my hair back.

"Feel better?" he asked.

I sat in his lap again and kissed his cheek. "Much." He wrapped his arms around me and I just wanted to stay like that. I inhaled his scent and sighed. "I missed you," I said.

"Me too," he said. "I miss Seattle. Or, to be clear, I miss Seattle with you."

I laughed. "Had enough family togetherness?"

"Maybe just a bit," he said, chuckling.

I nodded. "I hear you. But speaking of..."

"Yeah, I know. We should get back downstairs." He helped me stand and we walked out of our room. We walked by the study, where Edward still stood over Bella.

I stopped in front of the doorway, turning to Christopher. "I'll catch up okay?" I walked in, approaching my brother slowly.

"Edward?" He looked up for a second. "Can I do anything? I can sit with her if you'd like to change, or to go see Renesmee?"

He hesitated for a moment; I thought he was going to refuse. "Thanks, Ellie. Would you? I think I will change and bring Renesmee up here for a while."

I smiled. "Of course." I pulled the stool over to sit near Bella's head. "Oh! Edward," I said. He turned with an eyebrow raised. "Um...did anyone tell you? About Jake?"

His expression darkened. "Yes." He walked out and headed toward his room.

I sat by my new sister. I could already see a difference; she really was changing. The sun was rising and streaming through the windows, I didn't realize how much time had passed. A moment later, I heard Edward walk back into the room.

He had changed and was cradling Renesmee. "She's gorgeous," I said to him. He nodded, smiling proudly.

"You would think so. She looks a lot like you," he said.

"What?" I hadn't noticed this. I went over and she had hair like mine, both darker than Edwards but still with the strange copper highlight. Her eyes were brown like Bella's. Her face was Edwards. "I don't see it," I said. He rolled his eyes and thought about what I looked like at a day old.

"Whoa," I said. "That's crazy." I'd never realized how pronounced the resemblance was when I was small.

He laughed at my surprise. The baby put her hand to her father's face.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20. Mated.

"Um, Edward?" I said again, confused. "What the hell was _that?" _Though I could read her thoughts, I could tell there was something different about the images that appeared in Edward's mind at his daughter's touch. It was as if the_ baby_ put the image directly into his head.

"Her gift, apparently," he answered with a smile. The baby put her hand to his face again, and the image that appeared was of me. "This," he answered her softly, "is your aunt Ellie. She's my sister, and she is very much like you."

Christopher appeared in the doorway, holding a bottle and a bag of blood. "Carlisle thought she might be getting hungry." Renesmee looked at Christopher.

I saw her question forming in her head as she looked at Christopher. "That's your Uncle Christopher," Edward told her.

I made the bottle and handed it to Edward, placing a kiss on my niece's head. Christopher and I walked downstairs. Jacob was leaving to speak with Sam as we came into the front room. He had gotten a message to Sam through Billy about Renesmee. Should any harm come to the person imprinted upon, he had explained to us, it would devastate the entire pack. There was no longer any danger of attack.

I sat down beside my mother, who put her arm across my shoulders. No one spoke; we were all still shocked at how everything had fallen into place, and were anxiously awaiting the completion of Bella's transformation. Dad came in the room; he had gone up earlier to check on the baby.

"Ellie," he said. "Edward told me everything that happened yesterday, I mean, obviously I knew, but he gave me the specifics. You did a fantastic job, I know that had to have been difficult for you."

"I didn't really do anything, Dad," I said. He looked at me very seriously. _Don't be silly. I'm very proud of you honey. Are you okay after seeing that...again?_

"Yes," I said. "Thank you."

Carlisle turned to walk out of the room when Christopher stopped him. "Carlisle? Do you have a moment?"

"Sure Christopher, what's on your mind?"

"I was wondering," he said and then hesitated, looking at me, "about when Bella wakes up. Should we be concerned about how she will react to a _half_-human?"

Carlisle thought for a moment. "Well I think Jacob has been debating that with Edward already with respect to Renesmee. But, if you're concerned about Ellie..."

"Chris," I said, interrupting my father. "I want to stay. It's going to be fine."

Christopher looked at me with an exasperated expression. "Why push it, Ellie? She will have enough to deal with if the baby and Jacob are here, maybe it will make it easier?"

I shook my head defiantly and crossed my arms. "I'm staying."

We stared stubbornly at one another for a moment before Carlisle cleared his throat.

"Clearly this is between you two, but I don't think either decision is right or wrong. His point may not be entirely without merit, Ellie."

I sighed, aggravated that they were teaming up on me now. "How long do we have?"

"Alice says about another day," Carlisle said.

I turned and walked into the kitchen and out the back door. Christopher sheepishly followed me out.

"Um, so, I guess I should have asked you what you thought first," he said. I nodded curtly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, putting his hands on my shoulders. "But would you consider leaving for a few days? Just to see how she does first?"

I sighed and turned to face him, my hands on his chest. "Christopher. I want to be here. We can go after if you want, but I want to be here until it's done. Please," I said.

He looked into my eyes, and I could hear in his mind that he saw I was determined. His mouth was set in a line. "You know I'm not asking this just for time alone right?"

"I know that. But I promise it's going to be okay." I kissed his cheek and stroked his face lightly with my hand. "I appreciate your concern, really."

He put his hand over mine, holding it against his face. "You are impossible, you know," he said with a smile. He kissed my palm.

"You love it though," I said.

"I do," he agreed, his lips still brushing against my hand. "Clearly I'm insane."

I stuck my tongue out at him and he chuckled as he pulled me toward him, wrapping his arms around me tightly. I leaned my head against his chest and hugged him back. "I could stay like this forever you know," I whispered.

"I'm counting on that," he responded, whispering in my ear. "I love you." We stood like that for a moment, before he spoke up randomly. "Hey. When was the last time you hunted?"

"Well that was apropos of nothing," I said with a laugh. "I actually have no idea."

He disentangled himself from my arms when I said that and grabbed my hand. _Let's go now_, he thought, his eyes flashing.

With that we took off. We came across some elk and sprung quickly, taking down a pair each before the rest scattered. It really had been a while since I'd fed properly, making due with human food during the standoff with the wolves. When I was done, Christopher leapt toward me playfully, carefully tackling me to the ground.

I watched him for a moment as he carefully held his body over me and I was overcome by the sight of him. His dark hair was hanging down in his face and his golden eyes were shining. I felt tears in my eyes; I was so overwhelmed by the love and adoration on his face and in his thoughts. He lowered himself so that he was only supporting his weight with his elbows and brushed a tear away with his thumb.

He kept his hand on my face, kissing me softly. "Why on earth are you crying you silly girl?"

I laughed, while still more tears fell. My voice shook slightly as I spoke.

"It's just…I can't even tell you how much I love you. And the way you looked at me then? It was too much, Chris. It almost hurts to not be touching you. Does that sound crazy?"

He kissed me again. I could barely breathe his lips moved so furiously against mine. "If you're crazy, so am I," he said, his voice rough. "Sometimes I can't think if I can't reach out and feel you there. I've loved you since that day in the woods, and you know I wanted you before that, but it just gets stronger. I don't understand when they say your mate changes you once. I've changed a hundred times since we first shook hands, I swear."

I grinned at the word 'mate.'

"You know I never bought any of that mate stuff," I mused. "Not for me – a _hybrid_," I uttered the term with disdain. "Not before _you_. But I feel that too, all of it like you said just now. My nature isn't as static as yours but this," I motioned to indicate the space between us, "I swear it's more potent every day." The tears returned. "I've loved you since that day too you know. You made me feel, more than anyone or anything else, like I belong, because I belong to _you._" I pulled him closer. "See? Even now like this, you were too far away. What are we going to doing if this keeps up?" I said with a laugh.

"Well," he said in a sultry voice, "I can think of a few things." His breath on my neck sent tingles across my skin. He pressed his lips to my neck and moved back toward my mouth. I pressed myself against him as our lips met, still not able get close enough.

He ran his hands under my shirt and pulled it over my head, discarding it and my bra. I pulled his shirt off and hugged him back against me, needing the feeling of his skin against mine. He reached between us to undo my jeans and pulled them off, removing his own as well. I raised my knees slightly and grabbed his ass as he pressed himself against me, urging him into me. I move my hips up frantically against his and gasped at the sensation of him inside me. He moved against me roughly, holding me to him with his arms underneath my back. It was if we couldn't get close enough. I pushed my hips up again and again, crying out louder, not really caring who might hear at this point.

His movements got more sporadic and he buried his head against my shoulder and I knew he was about to come. He slammed into me, pushing me over the edge with him and we moaned loudly as the sensation washed over us. I clutched him to me as my muscles clamped down around him. When we finally relaxed, he fell against me with what sounded like a sob. I held my breath as more sobs followed, holding him tightly.

"Honey?" I whispered, stroking his hair softly. "Are you okay?" I felt him nod his head against me, he was breathing hard, and in his thoughts he was trying to steady himself. The sobs ceased, but he didn't move, keeping his head buried in the space between my shoulder and neck.

"Chris?" I whispered after a few minutes. "Are you sure you're all right? Can I do something?" I waited a minute and his breathing finally started to settle. "I love you Christopher. Always."

He looked at me. "I love you." He said this in a fierce voice, his eyes blazing with absolute certainty, burning the words into my brain, as if I ever had any doubt. We lay there for many hours. The sun set and rose again before either of us moved. After the sun had been up for a while, he spoke again. "Did you sleep at all?"

I shook my head. I felt jet lagged from whatever it was that happened the night before. "Chris?"

"Yeah baby?"

"What happened last night?"

"I have no idea," he said. "I am almost _tired _from it. It's so strange." He sat up and pulled me up so that I was facing him. "I meant it all, every word. I don't know what came over me, after...or really during. I didn't hurt you did I?" He looked me over, trying to be casual but I could hear the concern in his thoughts.

"Don't be silly of course you didn't," I said. "It's more now, isn't it?" Despite my vague question, he knew exactly what I meant.

He nodded. "I think so. I didn't think that was possible, but I think so."

"I wonder if that's supposed to happen? That increase in intensity, is it supposed to change?" I pondered, more to myself than to him.

"I don't know. I can't imagine my feelings for getting any _stronger _but I would have said that 24 hours ago," he answered, still bewildered. As I considered this, it suddenly occurred to me that Bella would be waking up soon, if she hadn't already.

"Shit!" I said.

Chris looked at me, confused. "Bella!" I said to him.

We dressed and ran back toward the house, but we still couldn't _not_ be touching for long. Every few miles he would pull me back to him to kiss me, stalling our progress; every time he did I nearly forgot why we were in such a rush. I couldn't bear to push him away.

"Dear god," I said with his lips still against mine, "Is it always going to be like this?"

"God I hope so," he said, looking euphoric.

"We were pretty obnoxious before, but now we will definitely get kicked out," I said with a laugh.

We finally made it back to the house, and crept in the front door and up the stairs. Everyone except for Edward was in the sitting room, and all heads turned toward us as we walked up. "Did we miss anything?" I asked.

My family shook their heads, but Jasper, with an eyebrow raised, spoke. "No. Did we?"

I shot him a confused look. He kept shifting his eyes from me to Chris and back again with an inquisitive expression on his face. Finally he smirked at me and then he and Alice exchanged a knowing glance.

"Um guys?" I said to my siblings. "Would you like to share with the class?"

Jasper laughed. "Well I don't mind, but I assume you might," he said. Christopher tugged at my arm, laughing. I went with him to the kitchen.

"What's he thinking about, love?" he asked.

"War strategy. Blocking me." I said.

Chris leaned in closer. I shivered at the feeling of his breath against my ear. "He knows something's up," he whispered. "They all do I'd bet."

"But what the hell is _it_?" I whispered back.

Jasper came in the kitchen. _You really haven't figured it out?_ He asked me in his thoughts.

I turned to face him. "No!" I said, exasperated suddenly.

"Well, for lack of a better expression, you've, um, _mated_." He looked at me like this was the most obvious conclusion in the world.

"Well duh," I said. We'd been together and in love for some time now, both of us knew we were mates. "I thought that had happened...already?"

He shook his head. "Sort of. But, I think because you're well, _you_, it happened in stages. If I was a betting man, and I am," he said with a wink, "I'd wager that it fully clicked in last night."

Christopher came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing my cheek. "So what does that mean. Does it just...stay like this?"

Jasper nodded. "Actually, it tends to strengthen over time, you just get better at uh, channeling, certain things."

"Maybe I don't want to get better at _channeling,_" Christopher whispered in my ear, his hands moving up my stomach. I put my hands over his and held them still. Jasper whistled and turned his head away from us.

"Um, honey, just because they love you it doesn't mean they won't kick our asses out," I said laughing.

My father walked into the kitchen at that moment and Christopher straightened up immediately. Carlisle just laughed. "Good god. I think you guys are going to be banished to Seattle. It will be bad enough with Edward and Bella in the cottage."

"Oh my god," I groaned, wanting to die just a little then.

_Being banished to Seattle doesn't sound so bad_, Christopher thought, pressing his lips to my shoulder, unabashed. He imagined us in several of our favorites places in the apartment.

"Chris, get it together please," I said.

"Banished, the both of you," my father said, waving dismissively as he walked back out of the room, laughing.

Emmett walked in then, raising an eyebrow at us. "Shit, if Carlisle's ready to kick you out, you _must_ be bad."

I leaned over the counter and lay my head on my arms. "I'm just going to pretend I'm invisible now, mmkay?"

"Guys," Alice said, interrupting the revelry. "It's almost time."

I stood straight up and Chris grabbed my hand, suddenly tense. Everyone headed up toward the study, leaving Christopher and me alone in the kitchen. He hesitated, holding my hand tight and not moving. I tugged, but I couldn't really force him to move.

"Chris," I said gently. "It's okay. Alice would not let me be here if she saw anything that would hurt me." He considered this for a moment and nodded.

We hung back in the doorway of the study; I didn't push in further to try and allay some of his fears. When Bella stood, tensed at first, she was really exquisite. I heard Christopher take note of her magnified physique in his thoughts. I jokingly raised an eyebrow at him.

"What?" he said. _She got hot, _he thought.

Edward shot him a look, but couldn't maintain an irritated expression; he just smiled broadly. _Hotter_, he thought in response. I laughed.

Chris shot me a questioning look. "He's not exactly disagreeing with you," I said.

My laughter caught Bella's attention. She started to advance, but Edward caught her shoulders. "Bella," he said. She refocused.

_Holy shit, _Jasper thought. _How did she do that?_

Christopher was equal parts anxious that I piqued her interest and amazed at her ability to stop her advance. He relaxed after Edward convinced her to leave to hunt, sighing with relief.

"I told you it would be okay," I said, turning toward him and wrapping my arms around his waist. He leaned down to kiss me, but when he pulled back, he looked stern.

"She did start to advance on you, you know. I almost had a panic attack for a second there," he said. _They will probably be gone for a while, _he thought. _What do you think about heading back to bed for a bit?_

His direct request amused me, but I nodded my agreement. He practically dragged me down the hall.

We fell to the bed, grabbing at each other like we hadn't been together in months. When we finished I fell back against him, breathing hard.

"Jesus," I gasped.

"Not sure he should be getting the credit for that babe," he said with a smirk, his hands still roaming.

I giggled. "This is ridiculous. I want more, like now. How in god's name are we supposed to be functional now?"

He rolled us both over so that I was on my back and he was lying against my side. "I don't think we will be. How the hell am I supposed to teach? I can't be without you in the room but _fuck_," he said, "if you're sitting there I won't be able to form a coherent thought."

"Coherence is overrated," I said, running my hands through his hair. "When are you going back?"

"I don't know. Maybe next week?" He sat up. "You'll come with me to Seattle right?" He asked me, with a concerned expression.

"Of course, I miss our place," I said. He ducked his head to kiss my shoulder.

"I miss our place too," he mumbled as he moved his lips to my neck. His hand moved from my breasts down my stomach and between my legs.

"Oh god," I moaned softly in response to his touch.

"We could go sooner you know," he said.

"Okay," I whispered.

He froze and sat up. "Wait, really? When?"

"When do you want to go?" I said.

"In 10 minutes?" He said. I laughed.

"I could probably be ready in five, but the newbie is on her way back, so perhaps to not be rude we ought to wait just a bit."

He nodded reluctantly, and reached off the bed and found my clothes. "Alright, let's go."

I sighed and got up. "Balance can kiss my ass," I said. He laughed.

"I love that sound you know," I said. "Your laughter." He kissed me, smiling when he pulled away.

"Jasper is crazy. How could this feeling get more intense? I was so completely in love with you 48 hours ago, and now it's so much more. How could it _possibly _get more intense?"

I shook my head and leaned in to kiss him. "We will never be productive again." Before he could take my clothes off again I pulled away. "Come on, let's go do the family thing and then we can head out to Seattle. Deal?"

"Deal," he said.

We went downstairs, to find Bella and Edward had just come in. She looked up and caught my eye. "Ellie, sorry-"

I waved her off. "Don't be silly. It's fine." _How did it go? _I thought to my brother. Edward showed me the hunt, including a near miss with a human. Bella had run away. "Whoa," I said under my breath.

Christopher nudged me, giving me a questioning look. "Bella ran away from a human," I mouthed to him. He eyes widened in surprise.

My parents were admonishing Edward for not being more careful while he tried to explain that she _didn't_ hunt the human. That would have been amazing for anyone of us, myself included, if we were mid-hunt. Christopher let out a low whistle. Bella's atypical behavior was making Jasper anxious, so he turned his mind back to the conversation we had earlier. Edward caught this and shot me an intrigued look.

_What was that about? I thought that had happened already._

I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders. _So did we. Apparently it works differently for me. _Carlisle's threat to banish us flashed in my memory and Edward chuckled. I glared at him. _Shut up. _Bella looked questioningly at the two of us, but then turned her attention back to Renesmee, who was growing more and more impatient to see her mother.

She took the baby from Rosalie and handled it beautifully, which I fully expected. She wasn't going to think her own baby was _food_ for god's sake. But Jacob's anxiety was palpable. I wished I could tell him subtly to calm the hell down, before Bella caught on.

"You imprinted on my BABY?!" She roared as she threw him outside.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21. Double Date.

We watched her throw him around the yard for a while before Seth got hit and she finally settled down. Her ability to reel in her emotions was really quite impressive, and thoroughly baffling to Jasper. He walked by us to go back inside, looking conflicted.

"You okay Jazz?" I asked. He nodded absently, deep in his thought process.

_What's up? _Christopher asked me.

"I'll tell you later," I whispered to him. Standing behind me as we watched Bella and Jacob argue, he slid his hands into the front pockets of my jeans and pulled me to him.

_I think we will be a little busy later,_ he thought. I leaned my head back against his chest, smiling to myself in agreement.

* * *

Alice had whined at me when we started to get ready to leave later that evening; she was going to unveil the cottage tonight. Despite her protests, the pained look on Christopher's face made it pretty clear that he really needed to get some space.

"Alice," I said, looking pointedly at my sister. "Please don't make this difficult. I promise, they won't miss us." She huffed but let it go. _Fine_, she thought, waving her hand at me dismissively_. _

A few minutes later, we had said our goodbyes and were in the car on the way to Seattle. As we pulled away from the house, Christopher sighed. _Finally. _As he drove, he ran his right hand along my arm, my leg, and occasionally settling for holding my hand. He tapped his other hand on the steering wheel.

"Good lord," I said with a laugh, watching him fidget as he drove. "You're making me jumpy."

"I know, I'm sorry," he said, smiling slightly at me before turning his eyes back to the road. "This, _change_, whatever it is, has thoroughly set me on edge. I'm so fucking happy but any separation from you just makes me so anxious."

I laughed again. "I've noticed. I feel it too. Between your thoughts and mine I can't focus on anything else."

Something was nagging at me, though that we needed to talk about.

"Listen, there's something I think we ought to discuss now, before we get, um, distracted at home." He smiled when I said 'home,' and nodded for me to continue. "You know that, now that Bella has changed, my family is going to start preparing to move again pretty quickly. They're going to have to tell Charlie she didn't survive and, well, you know..."

He nodded but didn't say anything.

"I know we talked about this some before, and I haven't changed my mind. I don't see any reason why we would have to go with them right away, I don't want to pull you away from what you love doing-"

_You mean, other than you? _He thought, interrupting me.

"Not again," I continued, ignoring his thought. He was quiet for a moment.

"Have you mentioned any of this to your parents?" he asked. I shook my head.

"No, but I'm sure Alice knows, and they won't be surprised. It's not like I'm leaving forever," I said. "And it's not as if I won't stay in touch or visit or whatever."

"We could stay just through the end of the year. I would like to finish out the semester," he said thoughtfully. I smiled. "Do you know where they are going?"

"Not exactly; New Hampshire, possibly. I know there's a house there, and Edward and Bella had been planning to go to Dartmouth for a while, she was thinking about delaying her change before the baby. Depends on how quickly Bella adjusts I suppose, I mean she's one day in and already exhibits a ridiculous level of control, so who knows? They may just go back to Denali for a while," I mused.

He processed this quietly. "If you want to go, I will follow you anywhere. I have told you that before," he said. "I can't be without you, I don't care where we are."

"I know, and I love you for that, but I can follow you too, you know. Let's stay here for a while," I said. He looked at me, smiling, his hand moving down to my thigh again.

"I love you, baby. Thank you," he said. He squeezed my leg and moved his hand toward my inner thigh. He was contemplating pulling off the highway for a while.

"Honey, we're almost there," I said with a chuckle. I noticed however, that he was hard and straining against his jeans. I unfastened my seat belt and leaned over his lap as he drove, undoing his jeans and lowering my mouth over him.

"Uhhh" he groaned as my tongue rubbed around his head and he shuddered as I sucked hard. "Jesus," he whispered, his thoughts entirely incoherent. He was losing it quickly and he reached behind me to rub between my legs roughly over my jeans. I groaned as I worked on him, my movements becoming more frantic. His cock started to pulse and he came forcefully in my mouth, which made me rock harder against his hand, moaning as I came while cleaning him up.

"Fuck," he said. "That is _not_ helping me not pull over."

I smiled as I clicked my seatbelt back into place. "Sorry baby, you looked like you needed some assistance." I looked at the road in front of us; we were only a few exits away. I sort of wished that I had worn a skirt that day; I was getting impatient to continue what I had started a few minutes ago.

* * *

Several hours later, we were lying in our bed in a mess of crumpled sheets. I was on my stomach with my arms crossed under my head, one of Christopher's legs underneath mine, the other draped over my thighs. His eyes were closed with a dazed smile on his lips. Our comfortable silence was interrupted, however, as my phone rang from somewhere in the bedroom. I didn't really recall where I had been when my jeans came off, I could barely think while his hands and lips were all over every part of me.

"Ugh," I groaned and dragged myself out to look for the phone. I was somewhat aware that it had gone off a few times since we'd gotten back to Seattle.

"Where do you think you're going?" Chris grumbled, grabbing my arm without opening his eyes.

"Someone keeps calling. I figured I'd better at least see who it is," I replied. He muttered his objections but released me. I found my phone and pulled it from my pocket, it was Alice.

"What, Alice?" I barked into the receiver.

She giggled. "Sorry to interrupt, Ellie. I know you've been...busy."

"Shut up," I said. "What do you need?"

"I just wanted to tell you, I saw that conversation you two had earlier about us moving. I thought you might like to know that that's probably not going to happen for a while."

"I don't understand," I said, sitting back down on the bed, running my hand through my knotted hair.

"Jacob told Charlie," she said vaguely.

"Told Charlie? Told Charlie what?" I asked, confused.

"He _told_ him," she repeated, enunciating the words significantly. I could feel my pulse racing as I started to understand.

"He WHAT?" I gasped, standing now.

"Calm down, not about _us_. He told Charlie about _him_. It's a long story, but basically, Charlie came over, Bella didn't eat him and we're going to stay for a while."

"Huh," I said. "Okay. I will pass that along," I said looking at Christopher who was motioning for me to hurry up. "Anything else?"

She laughed again. "No. Go back to your impatient man," she said. My impatient man grabbed my phone from me then. "Bye Alice!" he said as he hung up, pulling me back down to the bed with him. I don't know when I fell asleep after that, but I woke up to the sound of a phone ringing once again; Christopher's this time.

"Your turn," I mumbled rolling over. I was surprised to find that he wasn't next to me. When I looked up I saw him smile at me from beside the bed as he answered the call.

"Hello?" he said.

I decided to get up while he was on the phone, and found my robe in the closet. I made some coffee and went to stand out on our balcony. The cool breeze off the water felt good as I sipped the hot coffee. The door opened behind me and Christopher walked out to join me. He had thrown on shorts, slung low on his hips, and a gray rumpled t-shirt.

"Damn," I said, looking him over.

He smirked. "So," he said. "That was one of the other professors in the music department. He and his wife are going to see a show tonight and asked if we would like to come along. They are having dinner downtown and then heading to the venue."

I raised my eyes. "How strangely human," I said. "So, are we going?"

"You tell me, I go where you go." He answered aloofly. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh come on," I said. "You can tell me if you do or don't want to go. Don't make me guess."

"Fair enough," he replied. "I'm not wild about the eating dinner bit, but that comes with the territory. Let's go."

"Great," I said, playing with the hem of his shirt. "What time? Where are we meeting?"

"Hang on, let me call him back." Christopher pulled out his phone and dialed his last received call. "Eric? It's Chris. I talked to Ellie and we're in. What time and where should we meet you?"

Christopher worked out the details. We would meet at 7:30, in about two hours, at a restaurant that was only a few blocks from our apartment. We stood on the balcony for a few more minutes before heading to shower.

"They weren't at the banquet, right?" I asked while I washed my hair. Chris shook his head.

"No. They were out of town, I think. Eric teaches the other theory section. He and Michelle got married about a year ago."

"Anything else I should know?" I asked. I was a little nervous suddenly about saying something wrong.

"Only that I told everyone that I took off for an ill parent, which you know. I talked to the Dean while you were sleeping to tell them that I was returning and that um, my mother passed away last week. It fits well enough," he said.

"Okay," I said.

He smiled softly at me. "Don't be nervous honey, you will be fine. You were fabulous at the banquet; everyone loved you. You will like them, I met his wife a few weeks ago, briefly."

When we got out of the shower, I heard my phone ringing again in the bedroom. I picked it up. "Hello, again, my nosey sister."

"Ellie! I'm so excited, you guys are going to have so much fun!" Alice screeched. I held the phone away from my ear, put it on speaker and threw it on the bed.

"I suppose you're doubting my ability to dress myself," I said sarcastically.

"Well, it's been a while," she said with a giggle. "I was afraid you'd forgotten where your closet was."

"Hi Alice," Christopher said.

"Chris, I will deal with you in a minute," she said.

"Alice Cullen, focus. Whatever shall I wear?"

"Go in your closet. Black skinny jeans. Good," she said as she apparently saw me grab a pair. "See the sleeveless silver top? The shimmery one?" I grabbed the hanger with the top she described. "Yep, that one. Now, shoes, on your left," she said, describing the pair she wanted. "Perfect. It will be warm enough that you don't need a jacket. Grab your red clutch and you're all set."

"Chris!" She shouted. "You're up. Grab those dark wash jeans, the blue ones..."

Alice gave Christopher his dressing orders while I went to dry my hair and put on makeup. I could hear her ordering him around his half of the closet. After he dressed he came in to get my stamp of approval. He was wearing a blue and charcoal gray striped shirt under a fitted cotton blazer, with the sleeves pushed up slightly. I looked him over, smiling appreciatively as I finished my hair. He snuck a kiss and then stood next to me, facing the mirror. He ran his hands through his shaggy hair.

By the time I was done it was close to 7:00 so we decided to start walking down to the restaurant. He draped his arm around my shoulder. I reached up and took his hand and fiddled with his wedding ring.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. A little nervous though," I said.

"I told you; you will be fine," he said, kissing my head. "At least now you don't have to pretend to be a high-school student."

"Thank god. I have been looking forward to just being the professor's wife," I said, smiling up at him. He leaned down to kiss me.

"I like the sound of that," he said. The restaurant was just up ahead. When we reached the entrance, he opened the door and let me in with a hand on the small of my back. He waved to a young couple sitting at the bar, taking my hand to lead me to where they were sitting.

"Eric," Christopher said, shaking the young man's hand.

"Chris, sorry about your mother." Eric said.

"Thank you, she'd been ill for a long time," he said quickly. "Michelle," he said, turning to the woman. "It's nice to see you again. Let me introduce you both to my wife, Eleanor Cullen Dawling."

I smiled. "Ellie," he said, "This is Dr. Eric Crawford, and his wife Michelle."

"It's nice to meet you both," I said as they both shook my hand in turn.

"It's wonderful to finally meet you, Ellie," Eric said. "Chris talks about _nothing_ else."

"Oh my, I am sorry!" I said with a laugh. Christopher pulled me toward him to kiss my hair.

"Congratulations," Michelle said to me. "Eric tells me you two just got married a couple of months ago."

I nodded. "We did, thank you."

"Well, shall we see if we can grab a table?" Eric said. He waved a hostess over, who grabbed some menus and led us to a booth in a corner.

"How did you two meet?" Michelle asked as we sat down around the table.

"We met when I was teaching at Cornell," Christopher answered, unabashed.

"Oh, do you teach as well?" she asked me.

"Um, no," I said laughing nervously. "I was a student."

"In his class?" Eric asked with a smirk.

I looked at the table, but couldn't hold back a smile. "Sort of, he took it over a few weeks into the semester," I answered, looking over at Chris.

"So you're one of _those _professors," Eric said, winking at Christopher.

Christopher chuckled, but his expression was brazen as he played with a strand of my hair. "Guilty, but only this once, I swear. You should hear her play, I don't see how anyone could blame me."

"Were you a performance major?" Eric probed. "What do you play?"

"Yes," I said. "Piano."

"How long have you studied?" he asked.

"Um, since I could walk? I don't remember exactly. My brother taught me," I said. Chris smiled at me and squeezed my knee under the table. _You're doing amazing_, he thought.

"Your brother must be quite a good teacher," Eric said.

"He is. I've got nothing on him," I said.

"Don't be so modest, Ellie," Christopher piped up, looking at me adoringly. "I'm trying to talk her into continuing her studies here."

"Michelle, what do you do?" I asked, desperate to change the subject.

* * *

The dinner conversation mercifully didn't return its focus to me. When we finished, we walked a few more blocks to a club where the band was going to be performing. The band took the stage and played a solid show. There sound was folksy but the melodies were catchy with well-crafted harmonies. Christopher stood behind me with his arms around my waist, holding me close to him during the whole show.

The show was well attended, but it wasn't full to the point that everyone was on top of one another. Large crowds didn't typically bother me, and I was pleased that Christopher seemed comfortable. He hadn't really given any thought to the crowd around him since we'd arrived. I was so proud of how he had adjusted to our unusual lifestyle; he had taken to it with such ease. Nevertheless, what happened next should never have surprised me. It had never before occurred to me that I would ever find myself in a situation when my husband might possibly lose control around humans without any of my family members to help stop him. Not until that moment.

I saw it in his mind, the scent hit him just a fraction of a second before it hit me. His whole body tensed and he shook his head as if that would clear the scent, but I could hear him struggling. Someone had fallen and there was a deep cut, the club staff was trying to stop the bleeding. I turned to Christopher.

"Honey, please look at me." I said. He didn't budge. "_Chris, please._" I begged him, my voice more urgent. "Come on baby, pull it together, I can't stop you," I said, reaching up to whisper loudly in his ear, praying that I was registering. I hesitated for a moment, knowing I needed to get him out of here as quickly as possible.

I tapped Eric on the shoulder, "We have to go, I think Chris has food poisoning, he's not feeling well," I said loudly over the music. Eric nodded, looking concerned.

I turned back to my husband and grabbed his arm. "Christopher," I said firmly. "Move. We're leaving." He glared at me, his eyes dark and furious. A human would have cowered under his threatening gaze, but I held my ground with confidence until he conceded and followed me.

I walked quickly; hoping the air outside would help to clear his head. My phone rang but I ignored it. I held his arm as firmly as I could, knowing he could break my hold if he decided to change course. He was breathing deeply now, trying to get the scent out of his head.

_I'm sorry_, he thought, over and over. _I am so, so sorry. _

I directed us into an alley, and turned to face him, putting my hand on his cheek. I didn't speak until his eyes met mine.

"Hey, it's okay. You _left_. Nothing happened. They think you have food poisoning, everything is _fine_." I moved very slowly to put my lips against his. "I love you," I whispered.

He relaxed when I kissed him, and he held me against him tightly. He pulled his mouth away from mine and put his forehead on my shoulder.

"I could have hurt you. If I went after...I could have..." he whispered against me. My body shook under the weight of his sobs against my shoulder.

"You didn't. You hear me? You _didn't_. I am fine. I was just scared that it would be too much for you," I said, I ran my fingers through his hair. "I love you baby, it's okay, I promise."

We stood like that in the alley for a while, he sobbed against my shoulder for several minutes. Thankfully, no one walked by us.

"Chris?" I whispered. "Do we need to go hunt somewhere? We can go get my car and be on the road in five minutes. We could just pull off the highway, there's enough wooded area there."

He shook his head looking up as his breathing started to regulate.

"No, I think I'm okay now," he paused, looking sick. "Almost okay," he said with his hand on his stomach. The food, I realized. I nodded further back into the alley and he turned and threw up the food he had eaten. When he was done, he looked sheepish.

"Ready to go home, sweetie?" I asked. He nodded. When we got to the apartment, he went to take a bath. "Do you want company?"

He shook his head. "No, if that's okay," he said.

"Of course. Tell me if you need anything, okay?"

"Thank you." He kissed my forehead and went into the bathroom, closing the door. After he turned the water on, I pulled out my phone to see who had called. Not surprisingly, it was Alice. I called her number.

"Ellie?! Are you okay?" She said when she answered.

"Yeah," I said, exhaustion plain in my voice.

"I'm so sorry," she said. "I didn't see anything like that and I didn't realized what happened until you decided to leave."

"Alice, it's okay. He didn't do anything. He pulled it together."

"Good. Um, Carlisle wants to talk to you," she said. I sighed.

"Ellie?" my father's voice came on the line.

"Hi Daddy, everything's fine," I said preemptively.

"I know. I heard you tell Alice. Are you going to come home though, just in case?" he asked.

"I don't know. Not tonight. He's okay now. I offered to leave the city to hunt but he didn't want to. I'm not going to badger him, Daddy, he doesn't need to be handled," I said.

My father sighed. "I don't want you to find yourself in a situation like that and end up getting hurt," he said gently.

"Dad, please, you don't have to worry. It's fine. I'm fine; he's fine. I just want to get some sleep; so unless he needs us to leave, we're staying. This kind of thing could happen to anyone."

"Okay," he said reluctantly. "Call us if you need anything."

"I will. Love you."

"Love you too, sweetie. Good night."

I hung up and threw my phone across the couch.

"That sounded fun," a voice said behind me.

"Holy shit!" I yelled, jumping off the couch. Chris was standing there wrapped in a towel. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell but you scared me."

He moved closer, "I'm sorry Ellie, I didn't mean to scare you. I heard you on the phone and it sounded like you were annoyed. It's my fault, so I thought I would see if you needed me to talk to him."

"No, it's fine. He was just worried," I said. "How are you? Are you really okay? I'm not worried about me, you know, I just want to make sure you're okay. I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

He walked to me slowly, holding his arms out. His thoughts were cautious. _May I? _He asked before embracing me.

"You silly man, you don't have to ask. I am not scared of you." I said.

He smiled sadly and wrapped his arms around me. His skin was warm from the water. "You were though, that look on your face is going to haunt me," he said, his voice barely a whisper.

"Christopher Nathaniel Dawling." I said fiercely, my hands on his face. "I am _not_ now, nor have I _ever_ been frightened of you. Not in the woods, not when we first met, and not tonight. The only thing I was scared of was that I wouldn't be able to stop you and that you might regret it if something...happened."

I put my hands on his face and kissed him, softly at first and then more urgently. "I love you, and nothing will change that," I said between kisses.

He pulled me to him so that my feet were off the floor. "About that bath. I think maybe I would like some company. What do you think?"

I smiled against his lips. "Yes please."


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22. Professor.

We had been in the tub so long the water had gotten cold. He drained the water and refilled it, and we just sat next to one another. I leaned my head against his chest, relaxing in the hot water.

"Thank you. I don't know what I would have done without you there," he said, stroking my arm with his fingers. "Actually, I know _exactly_ what I would have done. You are amazing and I do not deserve you."

"You're welcome, but you're the one that stopped yourself," I said, looking up at his face. "I didn't do that for you. And I do not agree with that last part. I am so exceedingly lucky that you walked into that interview at Cornell, I can hardly breathe when I think about it."

He chuckled. "I love you." He kissed my head and sighed. "You must be exhausted. You told Carlisle you wanted to sleep."

"I also wanted to get off the phone at that moment," I reminded him. "I think I will always choose you, naked, over sleep any day."

"Me, naked, huh?" he said with a smirk.

"Well not just naked. But you get especially high marks for that," I responded with a wink. He laughed at that. At the mention of sleep though, I was suddenly tired and couldn't quite stifle a yawn.

"I knew you had to be tired," he said. He stood and helped me up as well. "Come on, let's get you to bed."

We dried off and he picked me up. "I can walk the ten feet to the bed," I said sleepily.

"Shush, let me do this," he said.

He held me, cradled in one arm, while he pulled the sheets and comforter back and laid me down on the bed. He covered me and then climbed in on the other side. I moved so that I was against his chest and he draped his arm around me.

"I'm so sorry about tonight," he whispered. "But _you_ were amazing. I love you so much. Sleep well, love."

I smiled as I drifted to sleep, feeling entirely whole lying in his arms. When I woke the next morning, it didn't seem that either of us had moved. I rolled to face him. He was lying with his head on the pillow next to mine, smiling.

"Good Morning," he said with a sweet smile.

"Morning," I said, kissing him. "I love you," I whispered. "Just in case you forgot."

"I didn't; but I appreciate the reminder. I love you too," he responded.

"How are you?" I asked, looking at him closely.

He sighed. "I'm fine. Really."

"Sorry," I said. "I don't mean to be a pest."

"No, you're not," he said. "I understand, and I really do appreciate your concern. You should have been angry with me for not keeping it together. Of course someone is going to end up bleeding in a crowd like that. I should have been expecting it. It's easy to...forget, sometimes, when I'm with you." He paused, making a face as he thought over what he'd said. "Please don't take that to mean I'm blaming you for my screw-up last night."

"I didn't. Relax, honey," I murmured, my hand on his cheek. "Please stop beating yourself up. Do you know how beautifully you've taken to the _vegetarian_ thing? We are all amazed at how well you've done."

He smiled. "Thanks. I just...don't want to disappoint you."

"Not possible," I said, smiling at him. He looked away. I waited for him to look at me again. "Christopher. I mean it. You cannot disappoint me. I love you, forever and without limitation. And for the record, while I appreciate your switch off the people blood, I don't give a shit what you eat. I want you with me, I don't care about anything else."

He looked like he might cry.

"Oh honey, please don't be upset. Please," I said. "What can I do?"

"No, no. I'm not upset. I'm just overwhelmed. Again. All of this is so much to take in sometimes," he mumbled. I slid nearer to him, feeling like I needed to be closer.

"Is this better?" I asked him, my arms around his neck. He nodded and kissed me, holding me tightly.

We made love slowly, he moved tenderly, like he was trying to communicate his emotions in every movement. When we finally separated, I was breathless and almost dizzy. I was lying on the other pillow and turned to face him again. He held his arms out and I curled back up against him.

"Thank you," he said, stroking my head softly.

"What do you want to do today?" I asked after several minutes of silence.

"Well," he said with a sigh, "I'm supposed to be on campus this evening for class." He seemed to want to ask me something, but was trying not to think it before he could speak it.

"It's okay," I said. "I won't say anything until you want me to."

He relaxed. "I have two requests," he said slowly.

"Anything, what's up?"

"First, I do plan to teach tonight. I thought we could go to campus early though to make sure I've still got it together? Will you come with me? Can you come to class with me?"

"Of course honey," I said. "I would love to."

He smiled and drew the back of his fingers lightly up and down my cheek. "Thank you," he breathed as he kissed me once.

"So what's the other thing?" I asked, though I saw it in his mind.

"Can we go home after? I mean, to Forks? I'm sorry, I know we planned to stay here for a while, alone, but I would like to talk to Carlisle..."

"Of course Christopher. Are you sure you are okay?"

He nodded but put his hand over his eyes for a moment. "I don't want to brush off last night as nothing. I want to make sure that the next time it happens, I'm better prepared."

My phone buzzed before I could respond to him. "What Alice," I muttered as I reached over to look at it. I looked at Christopher. "Alice says Carlisle would be happy to talk tonight. He suggested the two of you go hunting when we get back."

He nodded. "Sounds good."

I responded to Alice and then turned my attention back to my husband. "So how much time do we have," I said, drawing my fingers across his chest.

"A couple hours," he said, glancing at the clock. His hand moved down my back and around the back of my leg, pulling my leg over his hip. We kissed for several minutes. I ran my hands over his chest, his strong arms and his back and grabbed his ass and pulled him closer to me. He rolled so that he was on his back and I climbed on top of him, moving down over his cock slowly.

He closed his eyes and arched his back slightly as he guided me down with his hands on my hips. I started to rock over him, slowly at first and then faster as the feeling of him pushing into me started to overcome me, leaning my head back and his hands reached my breasts. He pulled at my nipples and I groaned, rocking harder over him. I leaned forward my hair falling around him, my hands on his chest. He thrust into me with so much strength and speed I lost it and moved frantically as my orgasm hit me. I could see in his mind the effect that had on him, he came hard at the sight of me orgasming over him. I held still for a moment, catching my breath. I moved off of him and lay back down beside him. His eyes were closed still, but he was smiling. I giggled a little at the sight of him.

He opened one eye. "What's funny?"

"You," I said.

"Shush. I'm savoring that image for a moment. I need to get it out of my system now, before we go back to the madhouse. I don't think your brother would appreciate that too much," he said with a laugh.

"You're probably right," I laughed with him. "Though I'm sure I will need some brain bleach being around him."

"Ha! You two can torture each other then, leave the rest of us alone."

"Very funny," I stuck my tongue out at him, and looked over at the clock. It was almost mid-afternoon. "So, do you want to head over to campus soon? That will require some clothes."

"Hmm. Does it really?" he grinned wickedly. "I should check the handbook."

I threw my pillow at him. "Get up already," I said with feigned impatience. "I want to see your campus, Professor."

We were finally in the car headed to campus when Christopher's phone rang. "Hey Eric," Christopher said as he answered.

"Yes I'm feeling much better, I'm sorry we had to bail like that. Yep I will be in class tonight. We're actually heading over now. Ellie wanted a tour of the campus...ok great. Thanks for calling, see you next week."

He hung up the phone, and turned to me to explain what I'd already guessed. "Eric wanted to see if I needed class covered. They're heading out of town but he offered to leave late if I was still sick."

"I heard," I said. "That was nice of him."

We arrived at the school a few minutes later. We walked across campus at a leisurely pace, holding hands. The sun was low behind thick clouds. He took me to the School of Music building and gave me a quick tour, ending up in an empty performance hall. We sat down at a piano toward the back of the stage. He played for me - classical pieces and modern popular songs. Most I knew some I didn't. He sang. His voice was so beautiful I had tears streaming when he finished. I had of course heard him sing before but never in an auditorium. His voice filled the hall and I stared at him in awe. When he was done, he took my face in his hands and wiped the tears away.

"That was beautiful," I gasped. "Thank you. I've never heard you play like that before."

He kissed my forehead. "I love you," he whispered. I smiled and leaned my head on his shoulder.

"I never get tired of hearing that. It amazes me every time," I said. "I love you too."

He sighed, looking at his watch. "We ought to get to class. Will you sit where I can see you please?" he asked seriously. "I'm already feeling anxious."

"Of course. Please don't call on me though okay?" I asked.

He chuckled. "I had no plans to, but now that you mention it," he said with a wicked grin.

"Chris! Please don't."

He squeezed my shoulders, still laughing. "I won't, I won't. Come on," he said, taking my hand as we rose to our feet. "Next time though, you will play for me please?"

I nodded. "Anytime."

He released my hand before we reached the lecture hall. He mentally debated not letting go but he thought I would be more comfortable posing as a student. There was no one here who knew me anyway.

I sat on the end of one of the middle aisles, toward the front. He took a deep breath. "You can do this," I said under my breath.

He called the class to order and began his lessen. I watched him, he was so commanding as he spoke. He called on students to answer questions and cracked jokes. I realized how much I had missed seeing him like that. He didn't really need me there; he was doing just fine, but every once in a while he stole a glance at me and smiled.

I was entranced by his voice, not paying attention to the other students. I didn't register the boy sitting down next to me until an unfamiliar hand touched my arm and menacing thoughts crept into my mind.

"Cullen? Surprised to see _you_ here."

I turned toward the menacing voice to my left. "_Mark_," I sneered. "Get your hand off my arm." My phone buzzed. It was Alice.

_Ellie! Get rid of that kid. If Chris gets near him it won't end well. _I stared at the text.

"You don't have any brothers here to push me around this time, huh?" He leered threateningly.

No, only a murderous husband, I thought to myself. I sent a text to Christopher. _I have to step out for a minute. Don't worry. _I saw him look down at his phone and his face hardened, staring at Mark.

_Ellie what the fuck? Is he threatening you? _I shook my head slightly.

I put my hand on Mark's wrist and squeezed hard. He winced. "Get up. Now," I said, releasing him and standing to walk out of the lecture hall. He stupidly followed my instruction and followed me to the hallway. I rounded on him and grabbed his arm.

"I don't need my brothers here," I snarled in my most menacing tone, barely above a whisper. "I can snap your neck myself." I was praying Christopher wouldn't hear this.

Mark turned white as a sheet, grimacing under my grip. "What the fuck?" he gasped.

"Get. Out," I said in a low, threatening voice. "Drop this class and don't ever let me see your fucking face again. Understood?"

I could see in his eyes that the expression on my face terrified him. He nodded and ran when I released his arm. He was going to bruise there.

_Ellie, get back in here. I'm going to come out there. What is going on?_ Christopher was calling me frantically in his thoughts. I took a deep breath and walked back in.

He was staring at me as he spoke. He decided to wrap up and dismiss 10 minutes early. _Meet me in my office,_ he thought.

I gathered my bag and walked out toward his office. I opened the door, he was leaning against his desk, arms crossed as he stared at the ground. He looked up at me with a serious expression.

"What the fuck just happened? Did I seriously just hear you threaten to kill that punk?"

"You did, and I'm sorry about that. But Alice...she saw something. I had to get rid of him."

"You knew him. I could see it on your face. From Forks?"

I nodded. "He graduated a year ahead of me. Last year, we had a...run in. He thought he could, um..."

"Um? Um what? Did he hurt you? Touch you?" His fury grew as he imagined what I was going to say.

"He didn't hurt me. He grabbed my ass; he thought he had me pinned against the lockers. He didn't, obviously I could have killed him then too. Jazz heard and dealt with him. He was going to take another pass but Alice saw it and I left early that day."

He was leaving indentations in the desk. I walked over slowly and took his hands. "I'm sorry. Please don't be angry with me. I only said what I said today because I didn't want you..."

"Me to what? What did Alice see?"

"I don't know. She said it wouldn't go well. That's all I know."

He sighed, pulling me toward him. "I am not angry with you. Never. Especially not for defending yourself." He stroked the back of my head and I relaxed against him. "I didn't understand what was going on and I panicked a little."

"I'm so sorry Chris. I didn't mean to frighten you," I said. I looked at him with tears again in my eyes. "I didn't know what else to do to keep you out of it. I don't know what Alice saw, but I can guess, and I couldn't risk it. Not for that shithead's sake, but for yours."

I felt him nodding against my head. "I'm sorry that you had to do that," he whispered.

I put my hand on his cheek and kissed him softly. "I would do anything for you."

He kissed me back, holding me tightly to him, his hands tangled in my hair. After a moment like that, he pulled back for a second.

"You know," he said in a husky tone, "You are incredibly sexy when you're threatening to snap someone's neck."

I laughed, which was interrupted by his lips on mine again. I ran my hands through his hair and shuddered as he thought of the last time we were in an office together like this. Reluctantly, I broke off.

"Honey, we should probably get on the road." His lips found mine again and I no longer cared to interrupt him. "Ohh god," I moaned as his hands were suddenly everywhere, his lips moving down my neck. He unbuttoned my jeans, and as he turned me so that I was leaning over the desk he shoved his hand inside to stroke my wet skin. I whimpered slightly as he rolled his thumb over my clit. My hips bucked at the sensation. I felt his cock against my ass and I moved my legs apart. He entered me from behind and we both gasped.

He wrapped my hair around his hand and pulled slightly, his other hand rubbing my clit. "Oh Professor," I moaned.

"Oh fuck, Ellie," he groaned. My hips bucked against him, as he slammed into me harder.

He let go of my hair and gripped the desk for support. I leaned back into him and put one hand on one of my breasts and the other on his hand between my legs. I could see him watching me play with myself and guide his hand and he started driving into me harder, moaning into my shoulder. We came together, and he held me against him for several minutes while our breathing slowed.

When his grip relaxed and we separated, I turned around to button my pants, smirking at him. He refastened his own, and shook his head at me. Pulling me back to him he chuckled.

"Naughty girl," he said, his lips against my shoulder.

"Does that count for extra credit?" I said.

"Christ. Stop it. We're supposed to be going back to Forks, I can't get that out of my mind at the moment," he said nodding back toward he desk, and thinking about me calling him "Professor" while he was inside me.

"I know you can't," I said. "Come on, let's go. Want me to drive?"

He nodded. "That's probably best," he said with a laugh. We walked across campus toward the car, his arm around my shoulders and mine around his waist.

"So you and Dad are going hunting?" I said absently.

"Apparently. That's fine. I probably should have gone yesterday when you suggested it."

I nodded. "Probably." We walked up to my car and I climbed in the driver's seat and we took off toward Forks. As we neared the house I could hear Alice giving them the short version of what happened earlier. She left out the part about me threatening to snap a human's neck.

Everyone was in the sitting room when we came in. "Hi guys," I said awkwardly.

"Of all the people for you to run into, huh?" Emmett blurted out.

"Thanks Alice," I said sarcastically.

"You should have come home last night," Carlisle said.

"First of all, nothing happened last night. Second of all, I took care of the other thing. Chris wasn't involved," I looked at Alice when I said that.

"May I ask how you handled it," my father pressed.

"You won't like it," I said. Christopher put his hand on my shoulder.

"No one got hurt. She did what she thought she needed to do," he said.

"Ellie?" My father looked at me

I sighed. "Look, the little jackass thought he could get back at me since as he pointed out I had no big brothers around to stop him. I led him out of the lecture hall, away from anyone else, and made it very clear that it wasn't just my brothers he needed to be afraid of. He got the message. End of story."

My father set his mouth in a hard line, but instead of reprimanding me he turned to Christopher. "Are you ready Christopher?"

Chris nodded, kissing me quickly. "Love you," he said.

"Love you too." I watched them leave.

"So what did you say to him El?" Emmett asked.

"Not much. I might have mentioned something about not needing my brothers because I could snap his neck all by myself. His arm will be a little bruised. Like I said he got the point."

"Eleanor!" My mother gasped.

"Esme," Alice said. "Chris would have killed him, people would have seen it. Ellie did the right thing."

"Dad's going to be pissed regardless," I said with a sigh, sitting on the couch where Bella was sitting, quietly.

"Ellie, I don't think you did anything wrong," she said looking at me.

"Thanks. I'm not surprised though. Christopher's ability to not over react is pretty much in line with his," I said nodding toward Edward. "I figured you would get it."

"Why am I getting picked on?" Edward said. "For the record, I agree with Bella."

"Also not surprising," I said laughing.

I looked around. "Where's my niece?" I asked.

"With Jacob at the cottage. He was a little irritated about Christopher's, um, near miss last night," Bella said. "We thought maybe he shouldn't be here when you got back."

"Jacob needs to mind his own business," I said, fuming.

"He does," Edward agreed.

"I'm not kidding. I will lose my shit if he sticks his wet nose into this," I said.

Edward cracked up in spite of himself. "Oh please tell him that." His expression got more serious. "So what's up with Chris? Is he all right?"

"Yeah. Last night shook him up though."

"And you?" He asked. "You must have been pretty freaked," he added gently.

"Um, yes I guess. I knew I wouldn't have been able to stop him. I was just glad he had enough focus to leave."

"Why didn't you come home last night?" Jasper asked. I could hear the admonishment in his tone and his mind.

"Why do people keep asking me this? It's not like it didn't occur to me. I suggested it. He said no. I wasn't going to be a bitch about it. The thing that happened today wasn't even related to that."

I crossed my arms and glared at the ceiling. I was anxious now, and wished Christopher hadn't left.

Edward smiled at me sympathetically. _I know what you mean, _he said of my anxiety.

_Sorry I'm pissy. This is so ridiculous. I didn't used to get so twitchy when he wasn't around._

Edward chuckled, Bella looked at him with a curious expression.

"Ellie is feeling the intensity of having a mate more fully lately. They both are apparently," he explained. "I was just sympathizing."

She nodded. "That's so strange, does it usually phase-in like that?"

"No, not at all," Edward said. "Presumably this is because she's a hybrid. It's interesting though the impact it had on him when it clicked for her."

"Hi, still here guys," I said.

"Sorry," Edward said.

"Eh, it's okay." I didn't care that much really.

I was curious about something, but couldn't figure out how to ask. I didn't want the mental images. _Give me some credit, Ellie,_ Edward thought in response.

"Bella, Ellie is curious about what that is like for you now," he said.

She looked down, thinking. "Well, they were wrong in that I didn't um, forget, or reprioritize my feelings for him. It's definitely more intense."

She and Edward shared a look and he started concentrating on something in Latin. I was glad Bella's mind was blocked to me.

Suddenly Bella stood. "Want to take a walk Ellie? Maybe this would be easier without your brother here?"

"Okay," I said. "Thanks."

She kissed Edward and I followed her outside. "So what's your question?"

"Okay, well, for example we both get, anxious? I don't know. If we're not touching somehow; I mean it doesn't have to be sex but just some kind of contact." I chuckled to myself, "Although, let's be honest… "

She laughed at that, nodding in agreement. "I think I can speak for Edward here," she said "and agree that we go through this. But," she added, "He has a lot of experience in limiting his contact with me, something that's not been necessary for you two."

I nodded. "True." We walked in silence for a few minutes. "Enough about _me. _Tell me about _you_. How are you doing with all of this?"

She smiled. "Good? I think. I'm still kind of in shock that it's all real."

"I bet," I said. "How's Renesmee?"

"She's perfect. Jake's a pain in the ass, but she is perfect."

I laughed. We walked along a little further, talking and laughing. I heard Carlisle and Christopher approaching. "They're back already," I said.

"Want to head back then?" Bella asked.

"Yes," I said. "Um, actually I think Chris is skipping the house and meeting us out here."

Seconds later, Christopher shot into view and grabbed me into a hug. "I missed you," he whispered in my ear.

"You weren't gone that long!" I said laughing. "But I missed you too." He kissed me and then set me down.

"Hey Bella," he said, smiling as he hooked his arm around my waist.

"Hi Christopher. How was your talk with Carlisle?" She asked.

"Really good. I feel a lot better," he said.

"Really?" I said. He nodded.

"Good, I'm glad."

"I told him what you said to that asshole though," he said sheepishly.

"Oh great," I said.

"No, I don't think he's upset with you. He understood why you did that. But if it's okay with you I'd rather not talk about any of that right now."

"Agreed!" I said.

The three of us walked back toward the house. Edward got antsy and met us about halfway. _See, _Christopher thought. _It's not just us._

Edward and I both laughed. "I never really thought it was," I said.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23. Confrontation.

The next couple of months flew by uneventfully. Christopher and I continued to split our time between the family and our home in Seattle. We were in the process of deciding whether to extend our lease beyond the original six months, or, if we were going to remain in the area for a while, whether we wanted to find a house instead. I lay facing him, with my fingers tangled in his hair while he thought. He had been the one to bring up the idea of buying a house initially; his love for real estate rivaled my mother's.

"That means moving though," I groaned. "Haven't we done enough of that in the last year?" I was only half kidding.

"True," he mused. "And we aren't here all the time, which I think is less awkward here then it would be in a house."

"I agree. That would be an odd thing to explain to the neighbors," I said smiling, leaning in to kiss him.

"Mm," he mumbled against my lips. "What were we talking about again?"

I giggled. "See? We might as well stay put."

He groaned, looking at the clock. "Shit. It's later than I thought, and I am supposed to hunt with Carlisle this afternoon," he reminded me. We slowly dragged ourselves out of bed to get ready to head back.

"Oh, and can you drive back honey?" he asked as we dressed. "I have a call scheduled with a student that I will take from the car."

"Sure thing, Professor," I said with a grin.

He grabbed me by my waist and kissed me. "That just about kills me," he said in a low voice. "Come on, before I change my mind."

Shortly after we pulled out of the garage his phone rang. I listened to his call and was surprised by the conversation. I'd expected it to be about grades or an assignment but it sounded like Chris was asking the student to be in a performance. I didn't know about whatever it was he was working on, and he kept his mind focused on revealing as little as possible to me while he was on the phone.

When he hung up, I was dying of curiosity. "Spill it teach," I said. "What are you up to?"

I could tell from his expression that he was pleased by my curiosity. I was beginning to feel like I was being set up.

"Actually, I am very glad that you asked, Ellie," he said with a smile.

I knew it. Here comes the setup, I thought to myself.

"Ellie, how would you feel about accompanying me in a performance that I am putting together?" he asked.

"What kind of performance?" I replied hesitantly.

"Well a bunch of the teachers at the music school thought it might be fun if we did a series of faculty-led concerts. We are each going to choose an musician or band and cover some songs, with some space in the set to talk about the style, the songwriting, whatever."

I nodded. "And what do you want me to do?"

"Piano and vocal accompaniment."

"You are not serious," I said, looking at him to see if he was joking. "You know all that shit on my résumé at Cornell was not for real right? I have no performance experience."

"Don't be silly. You will be fantastic. I've heard you play and sing with your siblings. And I was on the Cornell admission panel you know," he said with a grin.

"How many others will there be?" I asked.

"Quite a few. I've picked a pretty complicated band. There will be a bit of everything I think. I've got everyone else lined up and we start rehearsing next weekend," he explained.

I thought about this, watching the road, as he waited patiently for me to answer. "Okay," I said nervously, exhaling slowly. "I will do it." He looked so excited I didn't see how I could have refused him.

"You will?!" he asked in disbelief, he thought I would put up more of a fight. "Here," he said, pulling out two CDs and handing them to me. "Start familiarizing yourself with these. I haven't narrowed the set yet but it will be from those albums."

"Oh sure, he says. Learn two CDs of music in 5 days, he says," I teased, trying to disguise my nervousness. "I'm going to make an idiot of myself."

"No you won't. You will be amazing," he said with utter faith in his words.

When we pulled up to the house, Carlisle was waiting for Christopher.

"Sorry we're late," Chris said.

"That's okay, I'm off until tomorrow evening anyway," Carlisle replied. "Are you ready?"

Chris nodded and kissed me goodbye. "You can get a jump on practicing," he whispered with a smile.

I sighed and waved them off, walking into the house alone. Christopher would be gone for a while; he and Carlisle had taken to hunting regularly. Chris found Carlisle's experiences helpful in keeping himself in check. I was glad they were spending time together. He really had been taken in as one of the family pretty much from the beginning.

As I walked into the living room, Edward was sitting at the piano with Nessie. He looked over at me curiously. "Practicing for what?" He asked.

I told him about Christopher's request, and held up the cd's.

"Put them on," Edward said, nodding toward the stereo. "I can help you. Rosalie?"

Rose appeared in the doorway. "Rose, I was wondering if you would help as well. Ellie has a pretty extensive homework assignment."

"Can I help too Daddy?" Nessie asked. Edward smiled at his daughter, nodding and kissing her head.

"Thanks guys," I said.

Rosalie looked over at me. "Are you nervous Ellie? You can totally do this." Edward nodded his agreement.

I rolled my eyes. "Easy for you to say. You two have several lifetimes' worth of experience, as does Chris. The people I will be working with all have been playing for at least twice as long as I've been alive. I've never performed before an audience," I said, starting to freak out a little.

"It's okay Aunt Ellie," Renesmee said with a smile. "We'll help you!"

I put the CD's in and we spent the next couple of hours listening and breaking down the music. Edward ran upstairs to grab a guitar and when he came back down he asked, "So, do you think you're ready to play through some of these?"

I nodded, and the three of us played through the songs. Edward and Rosalie helped me pick out some of the parts that I had trouble with. We worked on the vocals as well, Edward sang the main parts that would be Christopher's and we worked on some of the harmonies that Chris would probably want me to do. My mother, Bella, Alice, and Jasper all trickled in after while, standing around the room to listen. I was aware that they were there but tried to ignore them. I looked up at one point and saw Christopher standing in the doorway, a huge smile on his face. When we finished the song we were practicing, I looked down, completely embarrassed as he clapped.

"I see you took my advice seriously," he said. I looked up and he had crossed the room to sit next to me. "You guys were great. Maybe I should just have the three of you play for me."

Edward and Rosalie laughed. "Ellie's going to do great," Rosalie said. I blushed slightly.

"Thanks for your help guys," I said. After a few minutes, everyone trickled out to go about the rest of their evening, leaving Chris and me alone in the room. "Hi," I said, looking up at him.

He smiled, "Hi," he said. "Did you have fun?" he asked.

"I did, actually. I'm still nervous about playing on stage with a whole bunch of other people, it's different with Edward and Rose since I've been playing with them all my life."

"Well, for what it's worth, you sounded amazing, which is exactly what I predicted," he said. _And if I may say, watching you play is so incredibly sexy, _he thought. He leaned in to kiss me with lust in his eyes. I moaned softly as his lips met mine, and his hands stroked my back. He pulled away and leaned his forehead against mine, placing his hand on my face and dragging his thumb gently along my cheek.

"How was your hunt?" I asked him quietly.

"It was good," he said. "Not nearly as good as being back here with you though."

"Would you like to go upstairs?" I asked him, knowing what his answer would be.

"If you insist," he replied with a grin, standing and holding out his hand. I took his hand and we walked up stairs to our room.

It was still dark when I opened my eyes. I was lying on my stomach with my head and arm across Christopher's chest, both of his arms around me. I inhaled slowly, his scent filling my head. I placed a kiss on his collarbone and looked up at his face. He smiled at me.

"You're awake early," he said.

I smiled back at him, and laid my head back down, hugging him to me. "I love you," I said. "I will never get enough of being with you like this."

He chuckled. "I'm glad to hear that." He sighed quietly as I moved my hand softly across his chest and abs.

"You are really unbelievably gorgeous, you know," I said.

He laughed again. "I may have been told that once or twice. No one, however, sees me if you are in the room."

I rolled my eyes and continued to draw my fingers across his skin. I traced along the muscles in his arms, which tensed slightly under my touch.

My hand moved back down his chest and stomach and over his hard cock. He moaned as my hand moved over him and rolled so that he was on top of me. I raised my hips to meet his and arched my back slightly, leaning my head back into the pillow as he pushed inside me.

"Oh fuck, Ellie," he grunted. He thrust into me slowly, savoring the sensation of our bodies together. He pulled back and pushed in again, reaching deeper with every thrust. I wound my arms around his back, grabbing his shoulders to brace myself as I writhed against him. His movements became more urgent, less rhythmic. His hands snaked underneath me to grab my ass. My body responded automatically, bucking even harder against him.

"Oh god," I whimpered quietly, writhing underneath him as I came, and he lost control at the sight of me. "Speaking of things I will never get enough of," I said as he laid his head down on my chest. He chuckled.

"Agreed," he said. I could here in his mind that he was about to suggest that we spend the day doing more of that, but before he could speak, I gasped in horror as my sister's latest vision invaded my mind.

My arms tensed, my hands locked on Christopher's shoulders. "Honey, you okay?" he said, not looking up at first.

He picked his head up when I didn't answer. "Ellie? What's wrong?"

I shook my head slightly trying to clear the vision from my mind. "Get up, we need to talk to Alice," I whispered, pushing his shoulders so that he would move.

He sat up, still watching me, a confused expression on his face. "What did she see?" he asked.

"The Volturi. _Here_," I said vaguely, climbing past him to get out of bed. He grabbed my arm.

"Wait, why? I thought Bella was going there?"

"She was. But something has changed. I don't understand what I saw, I need to talk to Alice." I tugged my arm and he let go immediately, still looking stunned as he climbed from the bed. We got dressed quickly and flew down the stairs.

"Alice?" I said, as she started to explain the rest of the family.

"The Volturi have decided to come here. Soon," she said.

"To check on Bella?" Carlisle asked.

Alice shook her head. "Not exactly. They know about Renesmee now. They want to meet her and Ellie, but they are particularly fascinated with Ellie it seems."

Christopher, Edward and Bella all hissed. "What do they want exactly, Alice?" Edward asked.

"I'm not sure. I need to focus on it more. It looks as though Irina went to them looking to join them. She's still lost after losing Laurent I suppose. They learned of Nessie through her."

"Alice," I spoke up. "I thought I saw Joham. What is that about?"

_Who's Joham? _Christopher thought. I didn't answer him right away.

"That's the other reason. They've apprehended him; some claim about reckless creation of hybrids. They want witnesses to his actions."

"I don't understand, Alice. Why bring him here?" I asked her. I turned to Christopher, who had nudged my arm, impatient for an answer. "Joham is Nahuel's...father for lack of a more convenient term."

"Ah," he said.

Alice hesitated before she answered me. "They have someone else, Ellie. There was another man held beside Joham."

"Who?" I said, thinking back through the vision as she replayed it in her mind. She focused on an unfamiliar face.

"Alice?" Carlisle spoke up. "Who is the other man?"

It was Christopher who spoke, putting the pieces together. "Ellie's father," he whispered, putting his arms around me. "I mean, her biological father."

"Oh my god," my mother gasped. All eyes were suddenly on me.

"What do they want with them?" I said. "Why bring him _here?"_

Alice shook her head. "That's all I can figure right now."

"What about Edward?" Bella said.

Alice shook her head again. "It doesn't look like they are going to go after him. I don't know why. I can see us, all together, after they've gone. It doesn't make much sense."

"Yes it does," I said. "I bet they want to make more hybrids. I know Joham travels alone, unless he is with Nahuel's sisters. I would guess the other is the same."

"Edward would be more difficult to obtain," Jasper reasoned, following my thought.

Bella relaxed slightly, but hugged Nessie to her tightly.

"Alice," I said. "I didn't see Nahuel in your vision. Do you think he knows?"

She shrugged. "I don't know, Ellie."

"When will they be here?" Carlisle asked.

"In a week," Alice replied.

"I'm going to call Tanya," Carlisle said. "They ought to know if Irina is involved."

We all watched him as he spoke to Tanya, no one really knowing what else to do. Christopher sat down in a chair and pulled me down onto his lap. He held me tightly, with his head against my shoulder.

"Sweetheart, are you alright?"

I nodded numbly, but answered, "I don't know? I don't know what to make of all of this." He sighed.

"I don't like any of this. I _hate_ that they are bringing _him_ here," he said, a snarl in his voice when he referred to the vampire that created me.

Carlisle hung up after a few moments. "The Denali's will be here tomorrow. They will stand in support of us, should we need it."

The week passed quickly, all of us moving at half speed, anxious about our visit from the Volturi. Jacob had spoken with Sam and the packs were going to stand in support as well, just in case. The premise for their visit was so strange that we were all tensed, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

When the day that Alice predicted had arrived, we gathered in the field where we had fought the newborns. The Denali's had indeed come to stand beside us, and hopefully to convince Irina to return. Tanya and Kate stood with us; Garrett tense and watching Kate's every move. My family members spread out in two's, except Edward and Bella who stood with Renesmee and Jacob, in his wolf form.

Christopher stood at my side, with both of his arms around me. He put his lips to my hair. "I love you. No matter what happens, I love you so much." I trembled, trying not to cry. "Remember, Alice sees us all together tomorrow. That hasn't changed, right?"

I shook my head; it hadn't changed. "I love you. I'm scared, Chris," I whispered.

"Shh. I know. It's going to be okay," he said. Just then, we heard the footsteps from our approaching guests. I turned into Christopher, trying to suppress a sob. _Deep breaths baby, I love you. It's going to be okay._

I took a deep breath and turned around. Chris dropped his hold, but took my hands instead, giving them a squeeze as the Volturi came into view. There was no sign of Joham or my alleged biological father, but no indication from Alice that anything had changed. They must be following behind to be revealed later.

They slowed, as they got closer, stopping several yards away. "Carlisle, old friend," Aro greeted my father.

"Aro," he said, stepping forward with a hand outstretched. I didn't like him getting that close to the guard. Aro took his hand and everything Carlisle had ever seen or thought flashed through his mind. I tried to tune it out, but I staggered slightly at the amount of information that forced its way into my own mind as a result. Chris's grip tightened, he moved his hands to my arms.

_I've got you, Ellie. You're okay, _he thought.

"Sorry," I whispered. "It was too much..." Chris stepped closer to me.

Aro released Carlisle's hand at that moment, and his eyes found mine.

"Eleanor," he said, almost singing. "I have been looking forward to meeting you. Would you mind coming closer?"

My father stayed where he was, watching me walk toward the guard. Christopher followed, holding my right hand tightly.

I held out my hand. "Aro," I said.

He took my hand, and I tried to refrain from recoiling at his touch. This time, my entire life, every thought, flashed before my eyes. He paid close attention to my horrific birth, and then my memories of Christopher, a voyeur to our most private moments. I wanted to be sick.

_Ellie,_ Edward thought, also assaulted with these images. _Hang in there. Don't react._

_Thank you. _I thought to my brother. This exchange, of course, also flashed through Aro's mind eventually. It only took a few seconds, but it felt like he was prying my thoughts from my head for hours. When he finally released my hand, I again felt like I was going to lose my balance. My father reached out, but it was Chris who again made sure I was stable.

"Thank you Eleanor," Aro said. "It was most fascinating to view your short life." Christopher didn't like his reference to a _short _life, and hissed. I reached to touch his chest, signaling to him to calm down.

Aro raised his eyebrows. "Ah, Christopher Dawling, the man who had the good fortune to find his mate in this charming girl," he said. "It's a...pleasure."

I wanted to rip Aro's throat out for the disdainful look he gave my husband. _ELLIE. Stay Calm. _Carlisle coached me this time. I breathed in and collected my composure. Chris squeezed my arms.

"Eleanor," Aro again addressed me directly. "I'm sure that with the help of your talented sister, you have an idea of why we have come to speak with you today."

I nodded coolly.

"I rather thought, that you might be interested to know who your father is," he continued, waving his hand.

"I know who my _father_ is, but thank you for your concern," I spat, my fury building.

"Insolent child," hissed Caius.

Aro held up his hand to silence Caius. "Forgive me Eleanor. I mean no insult to your adopted father, Carlisle. He is of course, a friend of mine. But I meant rather that you might be interested to know who your _biological_ father is."

"Aro, is this really necessary? Surely she has made it clear that she doesn't want this information," Carlisle said.

"Bring him forward," Aro said, ignoring my father's plea. I looked at him with a grateful expression, and he stepped closer to me, taking my other arm. _I'm sorry, Ellie_, he thought.

A man was brought to stand in front of me. I forced myself to hold my head up to face him. I didn't want his image in my memory, but I didn't want to cower either. I saw the resemblance immediately, and I again had to resist the impulse to be sick.

"Eleanor," he said. "Daughter."

I could hear my mother gasp in disgust. I didn't speak, concentrating on not vomiting.

"You look so like your mother, child," he said with a leering smile, thinking of my birth mother. "She was so delicate, beautiful." He thought of her when he saw her for the first time, when he seduced her, how he kept her alive with blood as I grew inside her. "I knew she could create a child as perfect as you," he whispered. I stared at him in horror, as Carlisle and Chris tightened their hands on my arms.

_You can hear me when I do not speak, I know. I could see she knew so much more than others around her. She was exquisite. That she didn't break beneath me was a sign of what was to come. _He thought of her, writhing in pain as I grew too strong for her body.

I was on my knees then, my head in my hands, biting my lip to keep from begging the monster to stop his mental attack. The images kept coming; it was as if he was forcing them into my brain, rather than my mind reading them from his.

"Aro, enough!" Carlisle snarled, furious. Christopher was on the ground beside me, whispering in my ear, but I could not hear over the vulgar thoughts in my mind.

"NO, no, no. _No_!" I shouted now, losing my fight to hold it together. "NO! Stop it! Please!" I pleaded, falling forward with my hands on the ground, and he continued to violate my mind with his horrid memories. "Stop it, stop it please," I said between sobs now, unable to shake the images he was showing. Christopher stood then, roaring with fury. He lunged toward the creature assaulting my mind, but he dropped to the ground immediately, crying out in pain.

Jane.

"NO!" I cried out, for him this time and not myself. I lunged toward him, crouching low and snarling. Felix stepped toward us, with a menacing smile on his face. I realized that Jane's attack hadn't reached me, and that Christopher had suddenly relaxed and risen to his knees.

"Ellie?" he said, disoriented. "How?"

I shook my head, unsure how the attack had ceased. Even the thoughts in my mind had silenced. I looked back at my family, confused. Edward nodded his head toward Bella.

I turned back to the Volturi, snarling as I helped Chris to his feet. Felix continued his advanced and I stepped forward once again. "Ellie NO!" Christopher said, throwing me behind him.

Felix lunged for Christopher, mistaking Chris's movement for attack. He held Christopher in a perilous grip. Before I could react, Alice shouted out. "ENOUGH!"

Every head turned to face her. "Aro, please ask Felix to relax. I would like to show you something," she said sweetly.

Aro nodded to Felix, and held out his hand for Alice to take. Alice took his hand in hers. This time, I was not assaulted with thoughts; I was still enshrined in the foreign cloud of silence.

Aro released Alice's hand, and after a moment's silence, addressed his guard. "We have completed our business here. Felix, release him."

Felix shoved Christopher toward me, sending us both hurtling toward the ground. I grabbed him and sobbed, relieved that he wasn't harmed. I couldn't catch my breath from crying, everything I felt during the encounter with Aro and my biological father pouring out of me at once. After a few minutes, once they were gone, Christopher picked me up and ran as fast as he could to the house.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24. Recovery.

I was still gasping for air when we got back to the house as the sobs kept coming. "Jasper," I heard Christopher call my brother. "Can you help her? Please?"

I was sitting up now, and suddenly my brother was in front of me, holding my hands.

"Hey darling," he said gently. "Let's calm down now, okay?" Suddenly, the tears began to slow, and I was able to take a breath, and then another. After a few minutes of listening to myself breathe, I looked around for Christopher.

"C-C-Chris?" I stammered.

"I'm here baby. Just breathe, okay?" his voice came from behind the chair I was sitting in. I nodded, and took in another deep breath. After a few minutes, once it seemed I was settled, Jasper stood and Christopher took his place in front of me.

"Hey honey, how do you feel?" he asked me, brushing my hair back from my face. I didn't speak, I just breathed. He smiled sadly. "Okay," he said.

I realized then that it was too quiet; I still couldn't hear anyone's thoughts. "Chris?" I said. "I can't hear you."

"I'm right here," he replied, confusion on his face.

"No," I shook my head, frustrated. "I can't _hear _you; your thoughts. What happened?"

"Sorry Ellie," I heard Bella say. "That's me."

I turned toward her. "How?"

"I will explain later," she said. "Do you want me to stop?"

I thought for a moment. I should probably have welcomed the silence, but it was incredibly disorienting. I looked at her and nodded. Suddenly, my family's thoughts opened to me again. I sighed with relief as I heard Christopher's mind.

I sat quietly for a while. Chris was on his knees in front of me, watching me carefully. I thought of something suddenly. "Nessie!" I cried.

"She's fine, Ellie," Edward answered me. "They didn't even get to her. You took the brunt of the visit. I'm sorry about that," he said sadly.

I shook my head. "I'm glad she's okay," I said. "Alice? What did you show him?"

"Let's talk about that later, okay? You've seen enough for one day, I think," she said. I knew it must have been bad. I looked at Christopher, and could see him, held by Felix, all because he was trying to stop me from doing something stupid. The tears and sobs started to come back.

"I'm sorry, Chris," I gasped, leaning forward into him.

His arms wrapped around me and he pulled me up so that I was sitting on his lap. "Shh, it's okay. It's okay. We're all okay, baby," he said trying to comfort me again. "Jazz?" he called again to my brother.

Jasper put his hand on my shoulder and calm began to spread over me again. Chris rocked me in his lap, stroking my hair and down my back and I heard my father speak.

"Christopher, why don't you take her upstairs, and see if she will sleep. I'm sure it will be a rough night..."

Christopher's head nodded against mine, and a moment later he was tucking me into our bed. I clung to him tightly, as if he might disappear, slipping into a fitful sleep. Hours later, I woke up with a jolt. Before I could cry out in my confusion, I felt Christopher's arms around me tighten.

"Hey there," he said gently. "It's okay, I'm here."

Tears fell in torrents again. I didn't understand how I had any tears left to cry. "I could have lost you today," I gasped.

"I'm here, that didn't happen," he whispered in my ear. "I love you so much Ellie. I'm not going anywhere."

I sat up, feeling disoriented. He sat up with me, confused and worried. "What is it, honey?" he said.

"I keep seeing _him_. That awful smile he had. And _her_. God, I can't even describe it. I wanted to be sick..." I trailed off. "That's all I see when I close my eyes." More tears filled my stupid eyes and I growled in frustration. "Chris, I didn't _want_ to see any of that. _Why_ did they do that?" I choked on uncontrollable sobs, and Chris pulled me against his chest.

"Jasper!" he called. My brother raced through the door. His hair was a mess and he looked like he had just thrown on a pair of shorts. Clearly we were interrupting something. "Sorry man," Chris said apologetically. He kept rocking me gently as Jasper sat down with his hand on my arm. The noise in my head began to dull immediately as my senses calmed again.

"It's okay," Jasper said to him. "She's got so much going on in there. It's going to take some time to work out, I think."

"What can I do to help?" Chris asked. I was feeling tired again, and closed my eyes, still listening to them speak.

"Whatever she needs. Eventually it will all come out, you know? I don't know what she saw, but I could feel how she felt, and it was brutal. How she didn't fall apart sooner during all of that... It's no wonder it's all coming out now."

I must have drifted off to sleep because I didn't hear anything else and when I woke again I was still sitting back against Christopher, his arms around me, just as we had been when I fell asleep. I opened my eyes slowly, adjusting to the light.

"Chris?" I said, barely above a whisper.

"Yes?"

"He saw everything. It was like he was picking out the most private memories to linger over." I could see the expression of indecent curiosity on Aro's face as he watched my memories of my husband. I shuddered against Christopher.

"I know, honey. We will have plenty more that he will never see. Never. I promise," he vowed, stroking my face gently.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Ellie," he said, louder. "You did nothing wrong, do you understand?" He moved so that he was looking at my face. "Nothing," he said again.

"I know. But it was my head. It was all _in my head_." I grabbed the sides of my head.

"Hush. Don't be ridiculous. If I had touched his hand he would have seen much of the same. Would you be upset with me?"

"Of course not," I huffed.

"Alright then. Please don't worry about that." His tone softened. "I know you have a lot to work through. I'm here and I will always be here."

"I love you," I murmured and leaned up to kiss him. For a moment I forgot it all. He returned the kiss, but pulled away too soon.

"Get some sleep, Ellie," he said. "I love you too."

As my eyes started to droop, I resolved to get it together when I woke up again. I slept for several hours, and woke up with the same jet lagged feeling I'd had that first day in Ithaca. My eyes focused slowly and I could smell Christopher, still beneath me. I placed a kiss on his chest and looked up at his face.

"Hi there," he said, smiling warmly. I smiled back at him.

"Hi," I said. My voice was hoarse from crying. "Ugh," I said at the sound, something tugging at the back of my mind. "Your rehearsal!" I cried as realization dawned on me. "Wasn't that supposed to be today?"

He laughed at my random insight. "Yes, but I'm postponing a few days. We were going to meet again midweek so we will just wait until then. Do you still want to join us?"

"I do. Hopefully I won't sound so awful by then," I replied.

"You will be fine. And I'm glad you are still in," he said. He paused for a moment, looking me over appraisingly. "How do you feel?"

I sighed. "Jet lagged, which I think is from Jazz. I need to apologize to him for interrupting them last night..." I said. Chris shook his head, rolling his eyes slightly.

"I don't think he was worried about that Ellie," he said.

"Anyway. My mind feels...exhausted. And crowded. I think at some point I want to talk about everything, but I don't have the energy to go through it all right now, if that makes sense?"

He nodded. "That makes perfect sense."

"Did Alice tell you what she showed Aro?" I asked him.

"No. She's no more willing to tell me than she was you last night, so I can guess..." he said, not needing to finish his thought.

"That's what I thought. Hey, speaking of things I couldn't see or hear, that was some party trick of Bella's. What the hell was that?"

"Now that I _do_ know. I heard Eleazar explaining it to everyone after we came up," he said. "Bella is a shield. It's why you and Edward can't hear her. But apparently, she was able to project it when Jane attacked."

I cringed as I remember Christopher lying on the ground, under Jane's painful mental attack. I shook my head a little to clear it. "Impressive," I said, distracted by my memory.

"Hey there," he said, touching my chin and waiting for me to look back at him. "Where'd you go?"

"Sorry, just remembering..." I said in a dull voice. "Something I am trying not to do right now." I took a deep breath and looked at him, smiling slightly.

He looked at me, his hand on my face. "Can I interest you in going for a hunt, Ellie?" he asked gently. "You could probably use it."

"I look like hell don't I?" I said, laughing.

He shook his head, pulling my head toward him so he could kiss my forehead. "Come on you silly girl. Let's get going. Do you want to change first?"

I nodded. "Yea, give me a second."

I dug out some leggings and a shirt from my closet, deciding not to bother with shoes. I pulled my hair up in a knot and turned to face him. He had changed as well, discarding the jeans from yesterday and instead pulling on some shorts.

"You look like you're headed for the beach," I said with a giggle, looking at him appreciatively.

"What? It's not cold to me," he said. "Or you for that matter. It's not like we're going to the mall," he winked at me.

I laughed louder. "I'm not complaining."

He scooped me up into a hug. "I am so happy to hear you laugh," he whispered as he kissed me. "So happy." He held me close to him for a minute, collecting his own emotions it seemed. "Are you ready?" he asked after he settled down.

I nodded. We walked down the stairs, his hand firmly holding mine, and we headed straight for the back door, taking off into the woods. We ran for nearly an hour; I wasn't even sure how far we'd gone. Christopher didn't release my hand once until we caught the scent of a small pack of cougars. He gestured for me to go first. I saw in his mind how he watched me attack; he appreciated the sight. It felt good to feed; it hadn't been too long since my last hunt but everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours had drained me thoroughly. I was able to think so much clearer after I'd had my fill.

I watched Christopher leap then, taking out the remaining two animals with remarkable speed. His second kill tried to fight, letting out a horrendous snarl, and Christopher growled back, before sinking his teeth into its neck. I was mesmerized watching the muscles in his back and arms as he moved, and when he turned to find me staring at him he rushed over to take me in his arms. He brushed a stray strand of hair out of my face, and pressed his body against mine.

"Is there something I can help you with, Mrs. Dawling?" he said, leaning down to kiss my neck. I leaned into the feeling of his lips on my skin, sighing. He ran his hands lightly from my shoulders to the small of my back, bringing them back to my shoulders again before pressing his mouth to mine. My hands roamed his shoulders, arms, and chest, feeling his muscles under my fingers. His hand dropped to my ass, giving me a squeeze and pulling me even closer to him. "Do you want me to stop?" he whispered, worried that this would be too much for me right now.

I raised myself up so my legs were wrapped around his waist, grinding against him slowly. "No, don't," I mumbled. "I need you, please."

"Oh god," he groaned in response to my plea. Suddenly I felt cool rocks against my back, Christopher's mouth back on mine, kissing me roughly. He pulled my shirt over my head and took of my bra. He took one of my breasts into his mouth, while cupping the other in his hand. His tongue swirled over my nipple, before he sucked it carefully through his teeth. His other hand moved down inside my pants, and between my legs. He rubbed his fingers against my clit, and I orgasmed quickly, moving against his hand. He removed his shorts and laid us back onto the ground.

I leaned over him and he thrust up into me, not waiting for my body to come to his. "Ungh," I moaned incoherently at the feeling and rocked against him. He held me to him and kissed me urgently, thrusting harder into me. He grunted with every thrust, getting closer to his own release. I held my face up slightly to watch him as he closed his eyes and leaned his head back. I could see him losing his control. He cried out and drove into me as he came.

After his breathing settled, I stroked his face with my hand, brushing his hair out of his eyes. I waited for him to open his eyes and look at me. His eyes met mine after a few seconds, a serious expression on his face.

"I think I want to steal you away somewhere, for a while," he whispered. I kissed his cheek.

"Where do you want to go?" I asked, not sure how serious he really was.

"Anywhere; away. Far away." He squeezed his eyes shut for a minute, taking a deep breath before opening them again and speaking. "I'm just so angry, I had to watch you get hurt like that and couldn't do _anything _to stop it."

I had to look away for a moment; the furor in his eyes took me aback. "Sweetheart, it's over. I'm sorry I fell apart like that, I -" I said before I was interrupted.

"NO!" he said loudly, sitting up. "Damn it, I told you. You have _nothing_ to be sorry for! I should be apologizing to _you_. We knew ahead of time, I should have taken you away somewhere, so you didn't have to go through that."

"Honey, please. Don't do this to yourself, please. I just want to move on, okay?" I pleaded. "Please don't blame yourself." I kneeled so that I could reach up to put my arms around his neck and pull his head to me. He took several deep breaths; his thoughts were jumbled.

"I'm sorry," he said a few minutes later. "You don't need to be taking care of _me_ right now."

"Don't be silly," I said, kissing his cheek. "We can take care of each other. Isn't that how it's supposed to work?"

He chuckled once. "I guess it is," he said and sighed heavily. "Do you want to head back soon?"

"No," I said. "But yes. I guess we ought to."

He nodded. "They will want to see that you're okay," he said quietly, stroking my face slowly. His mind was still troubled, he felt like he had allowed me to be attacked.

"I know." I made a face as I grabbed my clothes and stood. I was worried about Chris and not sure how to help. "Come on. Time to face the inquisition."

He was quiet as we ran back to the house. He held my hand like before, but his mood was different. Darker. He was trying not to think about his anger about what happened yesterday, but I caught enough to know he was seething. I wanted to calm him down; there wasn't anything he could do. If my biological father - after all of that yesterday I never even learned his name - was with the Volturi now, he would be impossible to get to. Not that I would have wanted Chris to get caught up in pursuing him regardless. I was hoping he just needed to process and would work through this without doing anything stupid.

When we got back to the house, I was relieved when he excused himself to go talk to my father. That was a good sign, I thought to myself.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25. Memories.

Carlisle was headed to the hospital to catch up on paperwork, so he asked if Christopher would come along and they could speak then. Christopher agreed, though he was hesitant to leave me.

"It's fine honey, go. I will be here when you get back," I insisted, squeezing his hands and putting on my most convincing smile. I knew he didn't entirely buy it, but he kissed me left reluctantly with my father.

"Ellie!" Renesmee cried as she came running up to me as I walked into the living room.

"Hey kiddo!" I said, picking her up. "Good lord, you are like 8 feet tall already."

"No I'm not!" she said, laughing. "I would be taller than _Daddy_ then!"

I laughed this time. "Huh. I must have miscounted then," I said with a wink. I heard Edward come in, looking for Nessie. "In here, Edward."

"Hey Ellie," he said. _How are you doing?_

I shrugged. _Okay, I guess._

_What's up with Chris? I saw him leave with Carlisle. He seemed upset. _Edward thought.

I sighed. _I don't know. _Edward looked at me questioningly, but held a finger up for me to wait a second.

"Bella?" he called. "Can you take Nessie for a minute?"

Bella breezed into the room. "Sure. Nessie, honey, come on with me. Let's go watch Rose and Jacob argue over car parts or what day it is," she said.

"Okay Mama," Nessie said brightly, following after Bella.

Edward watched them walk out of the room and then turned back to me. "Sorry, I thought you might prefer to speak out loud, that is, if you want to talk at all of course."

"Thanks. Actually, this is better right now. My head is a little...crowded," I said.

He nodded. "Yea. I never thought about how overwhelming that might be for you, seeing back everything Aro sees. I should have, it's a lot for _me_, even." He shook his head.

"Yea well, sorry you had to see, um, all of that," I said, looking down at my hands.

He laughed. "How about we forget that and just commiserate over the mutual awkwardness of seeing every second of Carlisle and Esme's relationship?"

"Deal," I said, making a face.

"If it makes you feel any better, Carlisle, was appropriately mortified; more for your sake than mine. Esme, however, hasn't looked me in the eye all day," he said.

"That _is_ kind of funny," I said, smiling a little.

"So," he said, pausing. "Did you and Chris talk at all? Jazz said you've got a lot of stuff to process through."

"Um. A little. There wasn't much talking."

"Hmm, I guess not," he said, chuckling awkwardly.

I sighed. "I'm a little worried about him honestly. I mean, I'm not surprised that he's...angry about what happened. But my…" I hesitated, not wanting to say father_. _"_He_ is already with the Volturi, so it's not exactly like Chris could _do_ anything. He wouldn't try anything that stupid, right?" I said.

"I would guess _not_, Ellie, but he's probably just working through his frustrations right now. It's a terrifying thing, you know, not being able to protect someone you love," he reasoned gently.

I nodded, tugging anxiously at the hair piled on top of my head. "I know. He is definitely frustrated. He has this crazy idea that we could have just left and missed the whole thing. Because you know, _that _would have stopped them."

"I won't lie, if it had been Bella in your shoes I probably would have wondered the same thing," Edward mused. "_But_ you're right, that wouldn't really have helped. I would bet though, that when he comes home he will have calmed down some."

"I know. You're probably right. Right? Carlisle will talk some sense into him..."

"You're really worried." His eyes creased with concern.

"I'm not really worried about him doing something stupid, no. Just in general. He said something, earlier, before the lunacy about us not being here yesterday, about just leaving for a while. The two of us, I mean. I didn't get the impression that he meant to Seattle. Which, if that's what he needs to get his head together, fine. But I guess I just worry that at some point..." I trailed off, not really wanting to finish that thought.

"At some point, what?" Edward asked. "At some point he will decide he's changed his mind? Go back to Ithaca?"

I sighed and nodded. "That's ridiculous right?" I said.

"Ellie, I think it's pretty safe to say that is _completely_ ridiculous; my own idiocy aside that is just not something that happens. The man can hardly walk out of a room without you."

I let out the breath I was holding. "I know. Thanks. My nerves are kind of shot right now...my mind, what's left of it at the moment, just kind of went straight there. Ugh." I rubbed my eyes. "Seriously, do I get my brain back at some point? I'm not even focusing on any of it but it's _there_. I can't concentrate."

"It will settle down, I think," he said. "Just based on my experience, it's likely in your nature to try and actually _see_ everything, despite the fact that you probably don't really _want_ to, and because of that it's all going to be there until your mind has cycled through it. It's hard to explain."

"Ugh. I just want to turn it all off."

He smiled wistfully. "I know what you mean."

My phone buzzed then, it was a text from Christopher. _We're on our way home. I love you._

"They're coming back," I said with a relieved sigh.

"Ellie, relax," Edward said. "If he was going to do anything ridiculous Alice would see that, remember? It's okay."

I nodded, taking a deep breath and decided to go wait outside for them. I watched my father's car pull up a few minutes later and Christopher bolted up the stairs to me and wrapped me in an embrace that made it a little difficult to breath. My father walked by us quickly, catching my eye as he went by, a smile on his face. I relaxed slightly at that, and turned my attention to my husband.

"Hey baby," I said, running my fingers through his hair. "Everything okay?"

He nodded, his head against my shoulder. "Yes," I heard him say, his voice muffled. "I'm sorry if I worried you earlier. I was overwhelmed and angry and Carlisle talked me down a bit."

"Good, I'm glad. I was a little worried that you might do something, um..."

"Stupid?" he finished my sentence.

"Well, yea," I confessed.

He shook his head. "I'm not going to do anything that might take you away from me, or me from you. I promise," he said solemnly.

"I know," I said. "Edward talked _me_ down a bit earlier."

"Good," he said. He looked at my face. "How's everything up here?" he asked, putting his hand on my head.

I sighed. "Honestly? Not that great. It's so busy. Edward thinks it will die down once my brain has a chance to get a good look at everything, but it's so much. I mean, I'm not trying to focus on any of it, but it's like having a loud TV playing in the background. I can't wait for it to stop."

He smiled sadly at me, and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. "I wish there was something I could do," he whispered.

"You being here helps," I said, holding him tightly. "I can focus on you instead."

He kissed me again. "Well that sounds good to me," he said with his lips brushing mine. "Come on, let's go upstairs."

He took my hand and led me inside. He nodded to my family members in the living room and we went up the stairs, closing the door behind us. He turned to face me and his eyes fixed on mine with a look of deep concentration. Before I could react to his serious expression, I saw a series of memories flash through his mind. He thought back to the first night we spent in his house near Cornell. He remembered how he offered to give me a shirt and then helped me undress. He remembered how he felt as he held me that night, something I hadn't been aware of because I was sleeping. He watched me the whole night, and decided then that he loved me. He thought about when he decided to come with us to Denali, and how when we got there he _told_ me he loved me. How it killed him to not say it aloud for the two weeks in between, but he worried that I wasn't ready to hear it. He remembered how he felt when I told him I loved him too.

I kissed him hard, overwhelmed by the love in his memories. "Why are you showing me all of this?" I gasped with fresh tears in my eyes.

"You said, if I recall correctly," he murmured, smiling at me, "that when I'm here it helps because you can focus on me. So I thought I would give you something to go with your own memories. Things that you may not have seen or heard in my mind before."

He undressed me as he spoke, much like he did that first night we spent together. When I tried to kiss him again, intent on thoroughly showing him my appreciation, he shook his head, returning my kiss lightly before pulling away. He laid us down and held me close, thinking of his second hunt while we were with the Denali's. Chris asked Garrett to come along and they set off just the two of them.

"_So," Garrett asked as they ran. "You and Ellie? Small world eh, friend?"_

"_I know. Isn't she amazing?" Christopher gushed. They slowed to attack a few black bears. When they finished, they sat on some rocks. "I told her I loved her last night," Christopher said quietly._

"_Wow," said Garrett. "Do you think she's your..."_

"_Mate?" Chris finished Garrett's thought. "I do. I'm not sure she believes that half-vampires can have mates, but I swear to you that she is mine. I will never love anyone else like this." Garrett clapped a hand on Christopher's shoulder as they watched the sun rise._

The scene changed, he was in the car with my father. He was nervous; dying to ask his permission to marry me and elated when my father agreed and gave his blessing. After he returned from Ithaca, while I was sleeping, Esme hugged him and welcomed him as another son. He remembered Alice and Rosalie helping to plan the proposal, the ring, and later the wedding. For the first time he showed me the talks he had with my brothers before asking me. Edward and Emmett spoke with him first. I had fallen asleep on the couch, and Edward stayed later than usual to speak with my future husband. However, they weren't threatening as he had originally suggested to me.

"_Christopher?" Edward said after he was sure I was sleeping. "Do you have a moment?"_

"_Sure, Edward. What's up?"_

"_Carlisle let it slip that you've asked your permission to marry Ellie. I know that you probably don't think that highly of me at the moment, given what I've put the rest of this family through, but I wanted you to know that I wish you well."_

_Emmett came in the room during their conversation. "Hey man, good luck." Emmett shook Christopher's hand. "That's my baby sister in there. Don't hurt her or I will fuck you up."_

_Typical Emmett. Jasper's conversation was subtler. "She's so happy with you. Complete even. I think you feel the same. It's been very interesting to watch the two of you, Christopher. I believe you two are mates, but the connection is different, presumably because she's only half vampire."_

_Christopher considered this. "So does that mean the connection isn't as...strong?"_

"_Not at all," Jasper answered. "Or at least I don't think so. I think it will build. Your system is designed to change, as they say, in response to taking a mate, but her demeanor isn't as stagnant. She can change more frequently, and more gradually. You will see, I think."_

Time shifted again in his memory and he recalled our hunt together after Renesmee was born. He tackled me and rolled on top of me. He looked at me, dumbfounded with love for me. He almost literally saw stars. His emotions overcame him as we made love, and he sobbed into my shoulder afterward.

"Oh my god," I gasped, covering my mouth with my hands. I felt heavy under the weight of the love in his memories, and the love in his eyes. As I looked at him, tears stung in my eyes that were already so sore and tired from crying.

He smiled at me. "I love you Ellie, I would do anything for you. And everything you just saw, that is _ours_. _Only_ ours. Not even Edward saw this just now, I made sure of that." He spoke fiercely, almost growling. His eyes flashed with the passion that he felt behind his words.

I was momentarily confused, dazzled by his intense expression. "How?"

"Bella," he said.

"Oh right." I giggled.

"What?" he said.

"I don't know. I'm so overwhelmed, in a good way though. Thank you, for showing me those things. I love you so much, Christopher." I whispered as I leaned in to kiss him.

When I woke up the next morning, his arms were around me tightly, and his mind was armed with more memories to flood me with if he thought I was overwhelmed by other, less pleasant, thoughts. I rolled over so that I was facing him.

"Good morning," I said, smiling.

"Good morning," he answered, kissing me softly. "You look like you're feeling better."

"I had the most amazing dreams last night," I said.

"Oh yea? About what?"

"This guy I know," I said with a smirk. "He's kind of cool."

He rolled his eyes. "Kind of cool huh? That's all I get?" he said, laughing.

"Hardly. In all seriousness, I cannot thank you enough for what you did last night. I feel like I have my brain back. And I have all of these amazing moments that you've shared with me. I love you so much," I said. I was going to say more but my lips were suddenly otherwise occupied.

A few hours later, as morning faded into afternoon, we lay together quietly. Christopher lazily traced his fingertips along my arm.

"It's really fading now. All the...excess." I said. "You did that." I rolled over to prop myself on his chest, looking at his face.

"I didn't though," he said. "You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for."

I ducked my head to kiss along his collarbone, content to spend the rest of the day thanking him. He sighed, his hands tangled in my hair.

"Ellie," he said. "I have a slight dilemma."

I looked up, concern plain on my face. "What?"

"I think that it's Wednesday, baby. I'm supposed to have rehearsal later. I can cancel it again, but if you are up to it I'd like for us to go." I could hear in his thoughts and in the tone of his voice he was hoping I would still agree to come.

"Oh!" I said. "I'd almost forgotten. Okay, I guess we have rehearsal soon then."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, a deal's a deal." I thought for a moment. "Have you at least narrowed the set down yet?"

He shook his head. "I've been a little distracted."

"Good thing I learned both CDs then, huh?"

He laughed. "Very!"

I dragged myself away from him to shower while he called over to the university to confirm the practice space and to email the rest of the musicians. When I got out, he smacked my ass with a playful smile on his face and he got in. I dressed and headed downstairs.

Edward and Bella were sitting with Nessie in the kitchen. "Hey Ellie," Bella said, smiling as I walked in.

"Hey Bella," I said back to her, remembering how she helped Chris last night. "Oh, Bella? Thanks."

"You got it, did it help?"

"It really did," I answered.

Edward smiled at me. "She filled me in later. I think that was a fantastic idea, I'm glad it helped."

"Thanks. And thanks for yesterday," I said to him. "Really. That helped too."

He stood to hug me. _You're welcome little sister. So you can hear me now?_

I nodded. My head was almost back to normal. I kissed his cheek in thanks.

"So," he said. "Are we invited?"

"Huh?" I said.

"To the show? When is it?"

"Um, that's a good question," I answered, realizing I didn't know the answer.

I heard Chris laughing as he walked out of our room to join us downstairs. "Of course you are," he said. "And the show is in three weeks. Actually," he said, "When I was on the phone earlier they told me they might be moving us to the larger auditorium. Apparently there's been a fair amount of interest in the series." He looked baffled by this information.

I looked at him with my head tilted, "Which I'm sure has nothing to do with the gorgeous professor who's performing in one of them." Bella laughed. "Seriously why does this surprise you?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about," Chris said, trying to look innocent.

"Do I know anyone else at this rehearsal today?" I asked.

He nodded. "Eric is going to be doing percussion. Michelle plays violin, so I think she's going to be there as well. She was a little hesitant, too, I think." He winked at me. "There are a couple of other faculty members that I don't think you've met, and rest are grad students."

"Holy crap," I said. "Are you sure you really need me for this?"

"Yes. You are so not backing out now," he said, putting his hands on my hips. "I have it on good authority that you've got this down." He kissed me once. "Come on, we will get there a little early so you can get settled."

We got to campus quickly, with little traffic on the road. We were planning to stay in the city for a while and I was looking forward to going home to our place later. He brought his guitar with him and pulled it from the trunk and we walked toward the music building.

The auditorium where we would be practicing was dark. We slipped in the front entrance near the stage and he went behind the curtain to flip the lights. He came around to the side of the stage where the steps were and held out his hand for me to join him. He led me to the piano and pulled a stool up close to me, taking his guitar out of its case.

After he made sure it was in tune, he looked at me. "There's one I thought we could do, just us?" I saw the song he meant in his head. "Want to try it?"

I nodded nervously. He started to play, and I almost lost my concentration on where I was supposed to come in when he started to sing. I tore my eyes from his face and looked down at the keys in front of me and closed my eyes, feeling my way through my parts, and singing the harmonies with him. He suggested slight changes in his head as he played and I adjusted accordingly. When we ended the song, I realized that the others had all trickled in. There was some applause from audience, who began to take the stage as Chris and I stood.

Eric came up to us first. "Well I can see what you mean, Chris. Ellie that was great," he said, leaning closer to me to speak with a stage whisper. "I'm going to give you the credit, he doesn't need the ego boost."

I laughed, and Chris rolled his eyes. "Stop hitting on my wife," he said, jokingly. "Speaking of, where's Michelle?"

"She will be here in a minute," Eric said.

"Good, I was afraid she changed her mind." He turned to the rest that had gathered. "Hey everyone thanks for coming. I'm sorry I had to cancel this weekend, but I understand some of you started working already, which is great. I think most of you know each other, but for those of you who don't know my wife, Ellie," he gestured toward me, "she will be joining us on vocals and piano."

I waved awkwardly. "Don't let her shy act fool you," Chris said, smirking at me. "She's studied at Cornell and is amazingly talented. Not that I'm biased."

I sat back down at the piano, wishing I could crawl inside it for a moment. He called the group to grab their instruments then and once everyone was ready, he started calling out which songs he wanted to work on. Most were already familiar with the songs; some had brought sheet music. He stopped periodically to fine tune sections of each song. We practiced for two hours or so, and the group played surprisingly well together. I got over my initial anxiety quickly, though he still occasionally distracted me.

"Okay," he said, putting down his guitar. "This went really well, is everyone free on Saturday?" After Saturday's practice time was settled several of the musicians came over to shake hands with Chris, and a few came over to say hello to me. I walked over to him as he put his guitar away and he put his arm around me as he spoke with his students and colleagues. As everyone finally dispersed he turned to face me, pulling me closer to him.

"See? That wasn't so bad, was it?" he said softly as he leaned down to kiss me. I leaned into him and kissed him back. He chuckled and pulled his face back from mine. "Perhaps we should take this to my office?"

I nodded. He took my hand and led me from the darkened auditorium to his office, closing the door behind him.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26. Revelations.

"You are seriously not at all concerned that someone will come by here looking for you?" I said with a giggle as we cuddled on the floor of his office.

He shook his head, with a wicked grin. "It's late, no one is here."

"I thought you professor types kept weird hours? I seem to recall running into you at Cornell at a ridiculously late hour or two," I said.

He rolled his eyes. "That's because I was listening to you silly."

I laughed. "Stalker," I said, sticking my tongue out. In a flash, he reached up and grabbed my head, pulling me toward him, and kissed me hard. I groaned, his urgency sending shock waves through my body. I climbed on top of him, and he sat up, crushing me to him as he thrust into me. I moved with him, losing myself in the feeling of our bodies together. He slowed suddenly, his earlier assertion that no one was here proven wrong by footsteps in the corridor. He thought about stopping but I shook my head, giving him a pleading look to keep going. I rocked over him, biting my lip to stifle a moan. He flipped us so that I was beneath him, needing to finish as much as I did, and he reached between us to rub my clit as he moved faster_._

_Oh, fuck baby_, he thought_. Stay quiet okay?_ His hand moved faster still and my hips bucked hard against him as I came, causing him to follow. I dug my fingers into his arms and a cry started to escape my lips; he kissed me roughly to muffle the sound. He kept his lips on mine as our climaxes ebbed, his kiss softening gradually. When he pulled away, he put a finger to my lips.

_We should get dressed._ I nodded. I could hear whoever it was coming closer to Christopher's office. We were dressed in a second, and I attempted to fix my hair before running my fingers through his to neaten it some.

He pulled me back to him for a quick kiss. _Okay, let's go home baby._ We walked out of his office and rounded the corner toward the stairs. A man was standing at the end of the hall.

"Christopher," the man said. "What are you doing here?"

"Hey Mike," Chris answered. "How are you? Have you met my wife?" He introduced us. "Anyway, Ellie and I were here earlier to rehearse for the faculty series, and then went to dinner. I realized I had left a bunch of papers I needed to grade in my office so we ran back here to get them." I noticed then that he had his briefcase in his hand, instead of his guitar. He said goodnight and then we were on our way.

As he drove toward home I leaned my head back and let out a contented sigh and he looked over at me, curious.

"What was that about?"

"I love you," I said, smiling. "And I am very glad you asked me to join in this project. Not for nothing, you are so incredibly hot when you play."

"I could say the same about you, Mrs. Dawling," he growled. "I have a feeling these next couple of weeks are going to give a whole new meaning to 'office hours'."

"You bet your ass it will, Professor," I said with a grin. He gave me an exasperated look and floored the accelerator. "In a hurry are we?" I asked innocently, walking my fingers along his arm. He blew threw a red light blocks from the garage entrance, the streets were all but abandoned at this hour.

"I'm going to get a ticket for that!" I said laughing, feigning irritation.

"I will pay it," he said with a laugh, "happily." After he parked he zipped around to my side and led me from the car, practically dragging me to the elevator. I laughed as I stumbled slightly trying to keep up. Alone in the elevator, he pulled me to him and kissed along my neck and jaw, his hands roaming my breasts and my ass. I palmed his cock through his pants and lifted my leg and curled it around his, and his mouth found mine again before the elevator stopped. We got to our floor and he picked me up, not breaking our kiss as he walked toward our apartment. He held me against the door while he fumbled with the key.

"Need some help?" I mumbled against his lips. He chuckled as he got the key into the lock, but suddenly I wasn't against the door anymore. I was standing behind him, and he was crouched protectively in front of me.

"Chris? What?" I said, confused and frightened by his posture. "Honey," I placed my hand very lightly on his shoulder, "there's no one in there."

It was only then that the scent hit me; my biological father. I hissed. _You don't hear anything? _He asked me silently. I shook my head. _Wait inside the doorway. I am going to check._

I did as he said, standing in the doorway as he searched each room and the closets.

"He was here Ellie. He was in our apartment," Chris snarled, his voice filled with fury. I walked in, slowly. I wanted to touch him, to calm him. He looked like he might take out a wall.

"Christopher," I said. And then I saw it. A large manila envelope on the table addressed to Eleanor Elizabeth Cullen Dawling.

Christopher picked it up, reaching into his pocket for his phone, dialing my parents' house before I could stop him. Carlisle answered, Alice had obviously alerted him to this latest development. They spoke for a moment, I wasn't paying attention to the tense conversation, I was staring at the envelope in Christopher's hand.

"Ellie? Honey?" I heard him speak to me. He was holding the phone toward me when I looked up. "He wants to speak with you."

I nodded, taking the phone. "Daddy?" I said into the phone.

"Hi Ellie. Listen, Jasper, Emmett and I are coming out there. We will be there soon okay?"

"Okay," I said, still distracted. I hung up. "Chris?"

He looked at me. "I want to see it." I held out my hand. He hesitated, but handed it over.

I sat down on the couch and tore the paper unevenly as my hands shook, and pictures scattered on the table and the floor in front of me.

"What the fuck?" Christopher said, leaning to pick up the photos on the floor.

A single piece of paper fell from the envelope.

_I was never gone. Your father, Sebastian. _

I stared at the words for several minutes, trying to understand their meaning. My eyes focused on the pictures in front of me, my mouth opening slightly in horror as I realized that the photos captured fragments of my entire life. There was a picture of me as a small child, hunting with my parents and another of me on my father's shoulders. With my sisters at a mall, and my first day at Forks High. Alone with Nahuel by the river. I ran my hands over the picture before I came to one that for some reason horrified me more than any of the others.

I picked that photo up and stared at it. The shot was of my face the day that Christopher and I met in the woods, taken from behind Christopher's back. He was in the middle of taking his jacket off. Chris growled and threw the pictures he was holding on the table. Another caught my eye. Our wedding. I bolted from the sofa to the bathroom, dropping to my knees and vomiting in the toilet. Chris was with me in a second, holding my hair back.

When I was finally done, I stood and brushed my teeth. Chris watched me carefully, not speaking. He followed me as I walked back to the couch. I numbly moved the scattered pictures so I could see the rest.

"Christopher?"

He sat next to me. "Yes?" His voice was barely a whisper.

"When was he here? Before they came to us, right?"

He shook his head. "I don't think so. It's too fresh," he said. I didn't understand how that was possible.

"But how? I thought..."

"I don't know, sweetheart. But I won't let him near you. I swear."

I sat back on the couch, my knees pulled to my chest. I had the picture of me on Carlisle's shoulders in my hands. I looked at it more closely. I was probably about two; I looked like a seven year old. My hair fell in long ringlets, much like Renesmee's. My father was smiling broadly. If it weren't for the origin of this picture, I would want to frame it, it looked like something my mother would have taken.

We heard my father and brothers get off the elevator then, they made good time. "Come in," Chris said before they knocked. Jasper came in first, nodding to Chris and then proceeding to check the apartment much like Chris had already done.

"Holy shit, what are they?" Emmett asked, sitting on the armrest next to me. I held up the picture I was holding for him to see, and nodded toward the note. Carlisle picked the note up, and hissed. He took the picture from Emmett and glanced down at the others.

"Shit," Carlisle said to himself. Emmett and I both looked at him, surprised. He rarely swore. We watched him lean over the table, scanning the pictures, his fury evident in his expression. "I'll kill him."

"Daddy," I said, not really knowing what else to say, but frightened by the idea of a confrontation. He looked at me, and the rage in his eyes made me cringe. Emmett put his hand on my shoulder.

"He's right, Ellie. Clearly he can find you anywhere," he said. "Carlisle, how in the hell does this happen? No one has noticed this fucker lurking in eight years?"

"That's what I want to know," Christopher said, fuming. "Two mind readers and a psychic, not to mention a house full of vampires, and no one could detect this guy?"

Carlisle was staring at the pictures, studying them closer, on his knees at the table. "I don't know," he whispered. "I need to warn your mother," he said, reaching for his phone.

"I just talked to Alice," Jasper said. I jumped a mile at the sound of his voice.

"Easy there, kid," Emmett said, putting his hand back on my shoulder and then looking at my other brother. "She's going to tell everyone?"

Jasper nodded. "Carlisle, what do you want to do? I'm not sure when exactly he was here, recently but not so recently that I think we could track it."

Carlisle thought for a moment, quietly seething. "I really don't know. Christopher, what are your thoughts?"

Chris shook his head. "I don't know. Clearly he's not tied up by the Volturi like we thought. I'm not sure a confrontation is a good idea. He could be watching now for fuck's sake."

"He's really been everywhere. Jesus Christ," Emmett said, taking a turn looking through the photos. He held one up; I was small, holding his hand. "How the fuck would I not have noticed another vampire nearby?"

Chris sat down next to me, putting an arm around me. I leaned on his shoulder. I was tired suddenly, I felt numb.

"Jazz, stop it."

"Sorry. I don't want a bunch of angry vampires to trash the building," he said. I sighed and closed my eyes.

* * *

I felt disoriented when I opened my eyes again; I didn't know how long I'd been asleep. The room was dark and quiet. I couldn't hear or see my family anywhere; I didn't know where they had gone.

"Chris?" I called.

I got up to turn a light on, but I was disoriented in the black darkness of the room. I didn't even see the city lights through the balcony door. I walked over to the door to try and open it, but it wouldn't budge. I shoved harder and the door shook, but didn't move. I didn't want to break it so I left it alone. Something moved then, in the darkness. I didn't understand why it was so dark, my eyes could see well in the dark, but this was different. I could see a shadow shifting and darting across the room.

"Chris?"

No answer. "Hello?"

"Who is in here?"

"He's not coming for you," a voice said.

"Who? Who are you?" I said, trying to keep the fear from my voice. The shadows moved again, and a figure moved toward me. The darkness lifted and I could see him. "Sebastian," I said, stumbling backward as he approached.

"Eleanor," he said. "It's time."

* * *

I woke with a start, looking around the room anxiously. I was still on the couch, leaning against Christopher's shoulder. He, Jasper, and Carlisle were talking barely above a whisper. The clock on the cable box said it was nearly 4:00 am. I put my hand on Christopher's arm, as if to make sure he was really there.

"Ellie?" he said. "You awake?"

"I don't know. I think so. But I thought that before..." I said thickly.

"What's that? Did you have a dream?" he said.

"Yea. I'm surprised I didn't start freaking out," I said. "I woke up here, but it was completely dark. And not normal dark that I can see through; but like human dark, I guess? I couldn't see anything. And the lights from the city? Totally gone."

They were all staring at me now. "So I got up to open the door and it wouldn't move. I gave up figuring that it was jammed and I didn't want to break the damn thing. I went to look for you, Chris, but you didn't answer me. But he was here. He was darting around in the shadows and he said something about 'he's not coming for you,' or something."

"WHO won't come for you?" Chris said, his eyes wide with anxiety.

I shrugged. "I don't know. You I assume? I was looking for you. He came out of the shadows and then I woke up."

They were still staring. "What?" I said.

"Ellie, honey, you are remarkably calm after that," Carlisle said. "Which, I think you will understand is surprising given your tendency toward rather intense dreams."

"Yea, I know it's weird. I don't get it either."

They watched me for a moment more, for signs of a freak out I guess, and then resumed their conversation. I lay back against the pillow on the couch and stretched out with my feet in Christopher's lap, half parsing the dream and half listening to their debate about what Sebastian's abilities would have to include to evade a psychic and two telepaths. The current theory is that he must be some kind of shield to block out our powers.

"But he's blocking our senses as well," Carlisle argued. "I've never known someone who could do that. I mean, Zafrina can change the perception of your senses, and Alec can rob you of your senses, but to make yourself invisible to someone's senses?"

Em, Jazz and Christopher considered this argument for a moment. I opened my eyes again. Something about that was nagging at the back of my mind. "Daddy, what was that you said? About Zafrina?"

"I said she can change the what your senses perceive," he said. I stared at him. "Ellie, what?" he said.

"Oh my god. He's not a shield," I said, piecing it together. "He can get into your mind. He gets into your mind and changes your perception. Makes it like he's not there, when he is. Holy shit. Are you sure nothing happened while I was asleep? What if he was here, really here, but made you all think he wasn't?" My voice escalated, I was panicking now. Christopher pulled me to him, trying to calm me down.

"Honey, no one was in here. I am sure of that. But I think you're onto something," Carlisle said. "I wonder..."

He trailed off, again reaching for his phone. "Edward? I assume Alice has filled you in? Listen, Ellie has a theory, and I think she's right..." he said, telling Edward what I had deduced. "I was wondering if you and Bella could join us in Seattle. I think Bella's...ability...could be particularly useful...Of course." He hung up.

"Ellie, like I said I think you are onto something. Alice, Edward and Bella are going to join us here. Jacob, Esme, and Rosalie are going to stay with Renesmee. The pack will stay at the house with them to be safe."

"You think Bella can block him?" I said. "What about the fact that he gets too close before we even know he's HERE?"

"Ellie, calm down," Christopher urged. "We will figure this out."

"He said it's time," I said.

"What?" Chris said.

"'It's time.' In my dream. He said, 'Eleanor, it's time,' right before I woke up."

"Time for what?" Christopher said, alarmed now. "Carlisle, we need to deal with this guy, now."

"Christopher, I agree, but we don't know where he is," he said.

Carlisle's phone started to ring, startling everyone for a moment. He answered; it was Alice. Jasper sat straight up, listening closely.

Jasper stood suddenly, causing Christopher to jump up. "Jazz, what's wrong?" he asked, anxious.

"Actually it maybe what's right." Before he could explain, there was a knock at the door. Jasper went to answer it, and admitted Felix and Demetri into our apartment.

"What the hell is going on Jasper?" Chris asked, looking back and forth between Jasper and our new arrivals.

"Apparently Sebastian gave them the slip, isn't that right?" Jazz said, turning to Felix and Demetri.

Demetri answered, looking annoyed. "That is correct. Aro was most displeased when Sebastian managed to escape our custody. It seems your father," he looked at me, "has a knack for confusing your senses."

"He's not my father," I said irritably.

"My apologies. Sebastian then," Demetri said.

"Why are you here?" Christopher asked.

"Well, it is clear to me that he was recently in your home. I assume that you have not offered him asylum, but we figured we would check."

"Asylum. You're crazy," I scoffed. I looked at my actual father, "Dad, you might as well show them the pictures."

Carlisle debated this for a second, but then decided it was a good idea. "Apparently, Sebastian has been following my family for all of Eleanor's life," he explained. "He left these here. Christopher and Ellie found them when they came home."

Demetri and Felix poured over the photos. "And none of you knew he was there? You are a mind reader like Edward, yes?" Demetri said to me. I nodded. "And the psychic?"

"Yea, we've covered this already guys," Emmett said.

"Demetri," I said. "You can track people right? You tracked him here? Can you track him from here?"

He nodded. "Yes, I believe I can. The trouble is keeping him from evading us again."

Jasper spoke up. "I think we have a fix for that. She should be here momentarily."

A minute later, as predicted, Alice, Edward and Bella walked in. Edward looked warily at Felix and Demetri, but nodded to them as he walked in, holding Bella's hand firmly.

"Welcome to the party, guys," I said wearily.

Demetri turned to Bella. "The shield. Brilliant."

"I'm not sure if I can cover you all, though," Bella said, hesitantly.

"Bella," Carlisle said. "Would you like to test it out first?"

"Okay. What do you want me to do?"

Carlisle and Edward had her shield groups of us in various rotations. She handled it well. After a while, Carlisle, Jasper and Edward started talking strategy with Demetri. Finding Sebastian was one problem, but keeping him there without escaping was another.

Carlisle turned to Demetri. "Demetri, what are your instructions?"

"Aro would prefer him to be alive, but dead is not unacceptable," he said.

"In other words," Felix spoke up, "we want to kill the bastard."

"Good," Carlisle and Jasper responded.

They discussed strategy for a few minutes. "He's still here, in the city," Demetri said. "I think a couple of us should go first, followed by the rest, and the shield," he said, referring to Bella. He needs to think he's going to get away again."

Jasper nodded his agreement. "I think that could work, but we should only be a few minutes behind."

"I will go," Christopher said. "I want to end this fucker personally. Demetri? You and me?"

"Chris," I said, reaching for my husband. "No. Please."

He wrapped his arms around me. "I will be okay. I love you, and we will end this now," he vowed. He kissed me once, and then ran out with Demetri. Alice saw where Demetri was headed, and it was decided that we would leave five minutes later. I was terrified, a lot could happen in five minutes.

"Ellie," Jasper said. "I think this will work. He needs to think they are alone. At least for long enough that he thinks he can get away." When it was time to leave, we moved quickly on foot, wanting to find him before the sun rose.

We stopped in front of a series of warehouses off a pier by the water. "Here," Alice said, pointing to a door in one of the buildings. We burst in together.

"Christopher?!" I called.

Sebastian stepped out of the shadow, just like in my dream.

"Eleanor. What a pleasant surprise," he said with a disturbing smile. "Did you enjoy the pictures?"

"Did you have fun screwing around in my head a few hours ago? Who do you think you are anyway? I don't want anything to do with you."

"Don't be so quick to judge, my dear. We are family, after all," he said.

"Family? You think we're family? You are sick," I snarled. "Where is my husband?"


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27. Talent.

He looked over toward the corner, and I could see Christopher and Demetri sitting there, looking dazed.

"CHRIS!" I shouted as I ran, dropping to my knees in front of him. "Christopher; baby, are you okay?" He looked up at me, without really seeing me, his thoughts were vague, unfocused. "Oh Christopher please baby, answer me. Please!" I put my hands on his head and pulled him to me, willing him to register my pleading.

"Please hear me baby, please." Without fully realizing what I was doing, I began focusing my thoughts on everything he showed me only a few nights ago. "Come on baby, come back to me. I love you so much, please, please come back to me."

I turned to see my family closing in on Sebastian. "BELLA! Over here, please!" I called frantically, hoping that if she could get him under her shield, Christopher would be okay.

"Ellie! Hang on!" She focused her energy on expanding the shield, and I felt it expand over me, Christopher and Demetri.

"Sebastian!" My father called him. "You will never harm my family. Never again." He and Jasper lunged but Sebastian dove out of the way of their attack, only to be cornered by Edward, with Felix closing in as well.

Sebastian and Edward sparred and Bella watching them intently, trying to keep Edward covered by her shield. Sebastian started to panic, realizing that somehow Bella was thwarting his mental offenses. He lunged for her instead, and Edward roared in fury, flying across the warehouse and tackling Sebastian. Felix leapt to help restrain Sebastian and Demetri, who had come back around, grabbed Sebastian's head and tore it off. Alice and Jasper had started a fire, I could smell it burning, and my father helped to dismember Sebastian and threw him into the flames.

I was holding Christopher tightly to me, stroking his hair and focusing my thoughts on getting through to him. I pressed my lips to his cheeks and forehead, whispering "I love you," over and over again. Tears were streaming down my cheeks as I looked into his eyes again.

"Christopher? Please answer me, please. It's Ellie, baby. I love you." There was a flicker of recognition in his eyes.

"Ellie?" he whispered.

"Chris!" I said, crying harder.

"Ellie," he said again, louder this time.

I put my hands on his face, still wishing I had the ability to make him to hear my thoughts and not whatever Sebastian had forced into his head.

"I love you, Christopher Dawling. Are you okay?"

He blinked several times. "How did you do that?" he mumbled, looking confused.

"Do what baby?" I asked him, still crying. "Honey, please tell me you're okay."

He kissed me then. _I'm okay now. I love you so much, _he thought, despite the haze still clouding his mind.

"How do you feel? Can you stand?" I asked him, looking him over. He put his head down on my shoulder, and took a deep breath. He looked up to answer me.

"I feel okay? I don't know. My head feels weird. It was the strangest thing, Ellie. I could see you, and hear you. It was awful watching you cry, I tried to answer you and I just couldn't." His broken expression tore at my stomach.

"Shh, it's okay now," I whispered, taking his head back in my hands, kissing his mouth and jaw. "Don't worry about me. You came back, that's all I need."

"Ellie," Jasper said my name. "Can he walk? We need to go, we're torching the building."

I nodded to him and turned back to Christopher. "Okay baby, we've got to move now. Can you get up? Do you need help?"

He rose to his knees slowly, I was on my feet now braced to try and help him. He slowly tried to stand, stumbling slightly, still trying to get his faculties back after Sebastian's manipulation.

"Shit," I said as I caught him, it took me a second to steady myself before putting one of his arms over my shoulder. "Okay I've got you."

Bella ran over. "Need a hand?" She asked, putting his arm over her shoulders, supporting his other side. "Let's go."

We met the others in an alley a couple blocks away. "Daddy," I said to Carlisle. "He's a mess." He bent down to look at Chris, who was sitting against the wall.

"Christopher? Can you hear me?" Chris nodded. "Do you know what day it is?" He answered correctly. "Year?" Correct again. "How do you feel now?"

"Still kind of fuzzy. I think I can get up though. I wish I'd had a chance to kick that fucker's ass," he said, his speech still slurred slightly.

Carlisle looked at me. "I think he will be fine." _Are you okay?_ I nodded. He turned to face Felix and Demetri. "Thank you, for your help here."

"And you as well," Demetri answered. "I'm not sure we would have been so successful on our own," he looked over meaningfully at Bella. "We will be on our way now. I will make sure Aro knows how valuable your assistance was." With that, they left.

A moment later, Edward pulled up in Carlisle's car. "Ellie, get Chris in here so we can get back to your place."

I nodded and Bella and I helped him in, though he was more stable on his feet this time. Bella sat up front and I sat with Chris leaning against me, my arms around him. His mind was finally starting to clear, I sighed with relief.

"You okay?" he said, his voice still weak.

I laughed once. "_I'm _fine," I said. "Your thoughts are clearing."

He sat up suddenly. "Hey, you didn't answer me before."

"Huh?" I said, confused.

"How did you do that thing with your thoughts?"

Edward looked up and met my eyes in the mirror. "What thing?" he asked curiously.

"Chris, what are you talking about?" I said.

He looked at me, frustrated. "I _saw_ things when I couldn't answer you. It was _us_, but they weren't my memories. They were of me. It had to be you," he said, speaking very quickly, shaking his head as he thought back over the blurred images in his mind.

"Holy shit," I said. "Are you serious?"

"Ellie?" Edward asked. "Did you do that?"

"I didn't think it worked. He wouldn't answer me, and I remembered what you did," I said looking at Chris. "It cleared my head. I wanted to do that for you. I didn't really think it through, I just kind of…wished? I don't know exactly. I knew I wanted to show you those things, and I was frustrated that it wasn't something I could do."

"You did, though," he said. "I saw it. All of it. It was amazing."

I thought about that for a minute, not sure how I felt about this. "Hm," I murmured as I pondered.

"What?" He said.

"I'm not sure how I feel about that_," _I explained. "I mean, I'm glad it worked for _you_," I added quickly. "But it's so much like _him._ So…intrusive."

Chris grabbed my shoulders. "No. First of all, you're in my head all the time. I don't recall ever complaining about that. Second, what you did really was amazing. You just decided to flip your talent and did. And you did it to help me. You didn't do anything wrong."

Edward pulled the car into the garage. _You should talk to Carlisle about that. Chris is right, you didn't do anything wrong, _he thought when his eyes met mine in the mirror. I sighed.

"Come on," I said to Chris. "You okay now?" He nodded, getting out of the car slowly.

We rode the elevator in silence, Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle were already back in our living room when we arrived. Carlisle was on the phone to Esme, explaining what had happened. She was worried about Christopher. I turned to Chris. "She's going to be a wreck until she sees you herself you know."

He chuckled. "Guess we're headed back to Forks then huh?"

"Are you up to that?" I asked, still concerned. I had never seen a vampire incapacitated like that.

He saw the worry in my eyes. "I'm fine now, I swear. I'm sorry I scared you," he said quietly, his hand on my face.

I realized then that everyone was watching us. I turned to face my family members. "Um. Hi," I said. Emmett laughed.

"Come on," Chris said, standing, holding my hand. "Let's get ready to go." I nodded, wishing that we didn't have to leave. He turned back to me. W_e will come back, silly girl. Just a couple of days, okay? I think everyone needs to process everything. _He thought of the pictures. _What do you want to do with those? _

I shrugged. "I don't know." Carlisle shot me a questioning look. "The pictures," I explained. "Chris asked what I want to do with them." I shrugged again, and went to gather my things.

Carlisle quietly gathered the photos and tucked them into his jacket pocket. I wasn't sure what he intended to do with them. "Hey Dad?"

"Yes, Ellie?"

"Can you ride with us?"

"Sure, Edward will you drive my car back?"

"Actually," I said, "Edward can you come with us as well? I want to discuss…the thing."

Carlisle raised an eyebrow at me but didn't push for more. Edward threw Carlisle's keys to Jasper, who agreed to drive the Mercedes back.

I drove, and Carlisle sat up front. Edward and Chris crowded in the backseat. "You need a bigger car Ellie," Edward grumbled. I laughed at him.

We rode in silence for a few minutes, before Carlisle spoke. "So, what's the _thing_?"

"Ellie has a new trick," Edward said with a grin.

"Why are you so amused by this," I asked my brother.

He shrugged. "It's kind of interesting don't you think?"

"Will someone please tell me what _it _is?" my father asked, exasperated by our vague conversation.

"Sorry. It seems that I can force images into your head, or, at least Christopher's, apparently."

"Like Sebastian?" he asked, raising his eyebrows in surprise.

"I don't know. I don't think I really influenced his perception as much as showed him things," I said.

"Like Renesmee perhaps?" Edward interrupted. "Maybe it's not _his_ genetics at all. I had assumed Nessie's skill was a flip of both Bella's and mine, but who knows?"

"It was different then with Renesmee," Christopher spoke for the first time. "At least I think so. It was real. I felt like I was _there." _I blushed when he thought of one very specific memory. "As much as I hate to say it, I think it was closer to what he could do."

I shuddered. "Isn't that what you wanted?" Edward asked. "You said you didn't think it worked, so you were trying, right?"

"Yea, well I was kind of freaking out. I wasn't really _trying_ anything, I just knew that if I could I would want to, flip it, I guess? I was trying to get a response from you," I said, looking at Chris in the mirror as I spoke. "It kind of scares me though, I didn't think it would work so easily. And what if I made it worse? You took so much longer to come around than Demetri."

Carlisle was quiet for what felt like several minutes. My foot pressed harder on the gas in my frustration.

"Easy Ellie," Edward said. "Cops ahead."

"Shit," I said, registering the mind of a police officer a couple of miles ahead as I let the car slow down. I glanced at my father, who had closed his eyes and was pinching the bridge of his nose. I laughed quietly.

Edward laughed as well, I was thinking of the both of them doing that.

"Ellie," Carlisle spoke over us. "You know that talents or abilities often strengthen over time, right?"

I nodded.

"So this is something that you likely would have discovered at another time?"

"I guess so," I said.

"And if not for recent events, you wouldn't necessarily make the connection back to your..._biological_ father," he made a face when he said that. "In fact, you may have drawn a similar conclusion as Edward has, making the connection to Renesmee's ability instead."

"I suppose," I said.

"So given that, I don't think you need to be all that concerned. If you want to explore this ability more, we can help you with that," he added gently. I nodded and looked back at Christopher, who smiled at me.

_I love you_, he thought to me, and then he thought of some of his favorite memories that now lived in both of our minds.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28. Esme's Island.

_Nearly Seven Years Later_

I woke up and inhaled the warm sea air flowing through the open doors of the bedroom, and rolled over to face Christopher.

"Morning," he said, smiling. He was lying on his side, the sheet draped low across his hips.

"Mmm," I murmured, "Morning." I wrapped my arms around his neck and he bent down to kiss me. I ran my hands along his strong shoulders and down his chest, before wrapping them around his waist, urging him closer. He moved so that he was on top of me, his knees between my legs, and I sighed as I felt his cock enter me. I moved against him slowly, holding his body tightly against mine.

We stayed like that, moving against each other at a deliriously slow pace for what could have been hours before I felt him starting to tremble. He thrust harder into me, grunting roughly as his orgasm hit him, and the feeling of him pulsing inside me sent me over edge with him.

He laid his head down on my chest after, his hands roaming my body lazily. "I love you," he said.

"I love you too," I answered him, smiling contentedly. He rolled back onto the pillow then, facing me. "I know we should be enjoying this island but damned if I don't want to just keep you here like this all day," he said, his mouth on mine again as soon as the words left his lips. I pressed myself against him, agreeing with his sentiment.

_Ellie! Time to get up! _My sister was shouting at me in her mind. I moved my hips against my husband's. _Oh Christ ELLIE. I'm coming down there in 30 seconds. _

I sighed and pulled back. Christopher looked at me, confused. "Alice," I explained. He rolled his eyes and contemplated climbing back on top of me anyway, regardless of my sister's threat to interrupt. The door burst open, and I pulled the sheet up over us.

"Jesus Alice!" I exclaimed. Chris threw his head back on his pillow, annoyed at the interruption.

"Oh can it Ellie," Alice snapped, before wagging her finger at Christopher. "And Chris, you are hardly deprived for attention; you can spare her. We _need_ to get everything ready for Nessie's birthday tonight!"

"Ok well can you get the hell out so we can get dressed?" I retorted. She rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes. Be in the living room in five or I am coming back."

She slammed the door behind her. "We can do it in less than five minutes," Chris said, rolling back toward me and moving his hand up from my stomach. I looked at him and laughed lightly.

"Come on, let's get this over with." I got up and rummaged through my suitcase for matching bathing suit top and bottom. We had arrived on the island yesterday, but hadn't taken the time to unpack our things yet. Nessie had asked that we all come to the island for a few weeks in honor of her birthday, which was today.

"You go report to Alice, I will unpack this shit real quick," Christopher offered, noting my now torn-apart suitcase.

"Thanks babe," I said, throwing on a tank and shorts over top of my suit. I brushed my hair quickly and pulled it back into a long ponytail. Chris pulled on a pair of shorts that hung low, revealing most of his lower abdomen. I admired him for a moment, still not sure how I got quite so lucky.

He smiled at me, and came over to me to wrap me in a hug. I leaned my head against his chest and breathed deeply, inhaling his scent mixed with the salty ocean air. "What are you thinking about Mrs. Dawling?" He asked me, with a finger on my chin to bring my eyes up to meet his.

"You. And how lucky I am," I said. It had been almost 8 years since the move to Ithaca that brought Christopher to me, and a few months prior we had celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary by spending a few weeks in France, alone. "And Paris."

He smiled, kissing me softly. "Hold that thought," he whispered, "until the crazy lady is done with us."

I sighed as he released me and I walked out to the main part of the house. Rose and Alice were huddled together in the kitchen. "Bella! Get out here!" Alice shouted.

"No fair! If she doesn't have to come out I'm going back in," I said, half serious.

"Don't even think about it Eleanor," she said as she stormed off to get Bella. "I'm serious Edward! I'm coming in!" She shouted.

They appeared in the hallway, cutting her off before she could barge in. "So annoying," Edward huffed, sitting down on the couch.

"Yep," Chris said, walking out to join us. Edward looked up and nodded to him grumpily. Bella and I laughed at their sullen expressions.

"Where is the birthday girl?" I asked.

"She left early to go hike with Jacob," Edward said with a slight grimace. Nessie and Jacob's relationship had grown more serious during recent months. When Chris and I returned from France, Bella and Edward had just given them permission to date, officially. It seemed unlikely that they would be quite as conservative as my brother would like, and he struggled with the idea that Nessie was for all intents and purposes an adult now.

"I take it his job is to make her scarce today?" I said.

"Yep!" Alice chirped, while Edward rolled his eyes. She threw a pillow at him. "Okay, enough chatter. Here's what I want you all to do today..." She droned on with her assignments for each of us and we quickly disbanded to complete our tasks.

Edward, Emmett and I were sent to the mainland to get supplies for the party. Since Jacob eats, and since Nessie and I _could _eat, Alice was going all out and wanted to have proper food and a cake. She had ordered a cake from a bakery in Rio and we had to pick it up, and find some other odds and ends. I sat on the boat, waiting for the boys to get it ready to set off.

"Did she group us together by initials?" I said randomly, leaning back in the seat, enjoying the feel of the blaring sun.

Emmett laughed. "That's funny Ellie. But she forgot Esme." Edward rolled his eyes as the two of us chuckled. "What's up Eddy? Still grumpy from Alice's cockblock?" Emmett asked, elbowing him.

"Oh my god, Emmett," I said as I dissolved into a fit of laughter. "I am so calling you Eddy for the rest of the day," I said to my grumpy brother.

"The hell you are Eleanor," he snarled as the boat roared to life.

"If it makes you feel any better, I think Chris would have supported you in the mutiny earlier," I said.

"It doesn't, but I will remember that next time," he huffed.

"Oh, Eddy," I said.

He swerved the boat so hard I fell out of my seat and Emmett caught me.

* * *

Chris was waiting by the dock for us when we returned to the island, having finished our tasks quickly.

"Hey baby," Chris said. "Did you have a good trip?"

"Yea, mostly. Except for when Edward tried to throw me off the boat."

"What?" Why?" Chris laughed.

"Um, because I decided to call him Eddy for the rest of the day?"

He pulled me against him, laughing. "I missed you," he said, placing a kiss on my cheek.

"I missed you too. Let me get all of this stuff approved by Alice and then we can go swimming or something, okay?"

He nodded, releasing me reluctantly, but keeping one of my hands. We headed back toward the house to find Alice, who told us that Nessie had decided that she wanted to visit a club in Rio for her birthday evening. The first half of the night's celebration would be spent on the mainland.

After Alice had given us our itinerary for the evening, threatening our lives if we weren't ready on time, Christopher scooped me up and ran toward the beach. I laughed as he ran. "I can walk you know!"

He shook his head as he slowed; we were a good distance from the house, where we might have a shot at _some_ privacy.

"Why should you walk when I can just carry you? It's much more efficient this way," he replied, his eyes shining. He bent his head down to kiss me.

"Mmm, well if it's in the name of efficiency," I whispered, leaning into him. He held me with one arm while his other slipped under my tank to undo the tie on my bikini top underneath. With my concentration focused on him, I _almost_ missed the fact that there were two other minds nearby. I froze and grabbed his arm.

"What?" he whispered impatiently against my lips.

"We have company," I said with a sigh.

"Aw come on!" he whined. "That's it, we need our own island." He put me down, pouting.

"Oh my god, you are hilarious, poor grumpy boy," I said, stretching to kiss him again.

"Who is it?" he asked me, kissing my neck.

"Jacob and Nessie," I said.

"Um, hi guys," Jacob said sheepishly as they emerged from behind the line of palm trees. From his thoughts, which he was trying desperately to restrain, they also thought they would have a few minutes alone here.

"Jacob, relax, I'm not Edward," I said with a laugh. Chris laughed too, with his lips against my shoulder.

"Thank god!" Christopher said, still chuckling. Jacob joined in our laughter, while Nessie cringed.

"Happy birthday Nessie!" I said, breaking away from my husband to hug my niece.

"Thanks Ellie!" Nessie said, smiling at me.

Chris went to hug her as well, "Happy birthday, kiddo," he said.

"Thanks Uncle Chris," she said. I smiled when she said that. I have almost always just been 'Ellie,' to Renesmee, but 'Uncle Chris' stuck.

"So," Chris said. "I gather there wasn't really a hike planned for today?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at the two of them.

"Christopher," I smacked his arm lightly, "leave them be."

He looked at me. "If Edward sees this he's going to give us holy hell you know."

"Um, if Edward _really_ thinks all they're going to do is hike, then I don't know what to tell you."

"And with that," Jacob said awkwardly, "I'm going for a swim."

He ran to the water's edge and jumped in. "That sounds like a good idea," Christopher said, taking off for the water himself.

"Christopher!" I shouted. "Be nice to him!"

Jacob and Christopher had a rocky start after Christopher's near-slip in Seattle all those years ago, but since then they had become pretty close. Lately Chris was at war with himself over Jake and Nessie's involvement, though. On the one hand, he felt protective of Nessie and was almost as bad as Edward sometimes regarding the two of them, on the other he felt like a hypocrite because I was not much older than Nessie when he and I met. I shook my head at my husband as he dove in.

"So," I said to Nessie as we both sat down in the sand. "A club in Rio?"

She nodded. "I thought it would be fun! Everyone's invited."

"It will certainly be interesting," I said. "Are your parents coming? Ack, what about mine?" I cringed slightly at that thought.

Nessie laughed. "Alice says everyone is coming!"

"Well then yeah that is going to _very_ interesting," I said. We sat quietly for a few minutes, watching the guys swim off into the distance. I crossed my legs and turned to face her. "How are things?"

"With Jacob?" Nessie asked.

"Yeah, or not. In general," I said with a smile.

"Well that's specific," she said, grinning. "Things are good. It's weird, I swear I woke up one day and he was just, _different_, you know? I mean, I know we're an odd case since he's been around since I was born. I thought my dad was going to murder Jake when he caught us one time while you and Chris were gone."

I raised an eyebrow. "I hadn't heard about this."

"Oh yea. Daddy was _pissed_," she said, rolling her eyes.

I chuckled to myself at this, thinking back to Edward's objections when I started seeing Nahuel at Nessie's age. She looked at me questioningly.

"Wait, Nahuel? The other hybrid?" she said, confused, when I explained what I was remembering. "When was this?"

"I was your age, exactly. How have you not heard this story?" I asked her. She shrugged, and motioned for me to continue.

"Anyway, we met him when I was little, and he came to Forks to visit for my seventh birthday," I explained. "We spent a lot of time together during his visit. He ended up staying for a while, and we were, um, a thing I guess."

"Did everyone know?" she asked.

"How exactly would I keep something like that secret?" I asked, incredulous.

"True. Did you, um...I mean. Where did he stay? Not with you right?" she tripped over her thoughts slightly, but I could see what it was she was curious about.

"Are you asking if we slept together?"

She nodded shyly.

"Yea. We did. And speaking of father's flipping out..." I said.

"Carlisle flipped?" she said, shocked.

"A little. But that was _nothing_ compared to the thrashing I got about Chris," I said with a chuckle.

"What?!"

"Yea but I deserved that. You know Chris and I met at Cornell, right? When we were in Ithaca...?" Nessie and I had never discussed Edward's absence, but I assumed it had come up with her parents at some point.

She nodded. "When Daddy left...yea I know that much."

"Okay. So when Nahuel decided he didn't want to come with us to Ithaca that was the end of that. Christopher and I met first during my audition for the Music program and he took over one of my classes a couple months after I started."

"So why was Carlisle pissed at you about him?"

"Because I knew there was another vampire on campus and I didn't tell anyone. He came home one day furious after Christopher introduced himself one night on campus. And he let it slip that he knew me. I was so mad at Chris for that." I paused, shaking my head at the memory of my short-lived fury.

"So what did you do?" she pressed. "How did you guys end up together then?"

"I went to his office to yell at him the next day," I paused for a moment, realizing I had already said too much. "Um, wait. Weren't we talking about YOU?"

"No way, you are so telling me the rest of this," she said impatiently.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine," I huffed. "Well. One minute I was yelling at him and the next minute I was very, very distracted," I said significantly.

She understood immediately, and her eyes opened wide. "In his _office?_ Holy shit!"

I buried my face in my hands. "I can_not_ believe I just told you that," I said. "Your father really will kill me now. Enough about me; please. Spill it girlfriend. Have you two...?"

She shook her head. "No. He's too scared of my Dad, I think. It's really annoying." She paused for a moment. "So, when you were my age, you and Nahuel...in the house? With everyone around?"

"Yea. It really wasn't a big deal," I shrugged. "But, Carlisle and Esme are pretty reasonable, they realized that for all intents and purposes, I was an adult."

"And my parents aren't," she said. "Great."

"Well, Edward takes a while to come around. So that might be a...challenge," I said. "Have you talked to your mother at all? I mean, I think she would have a reasonable perspective on all of this. And then there's the added benefit that your father won't pick that conversation out of _her_ head like he will mine if I'm not careful," I added with a wink.

"Oh crap, I hadn't thought about that," she said. "Damn it."

"Mind-reading relatives are a pain in the ass aren't they?" I said with a smirk. We sat quietly again for a while. I stood and stretched. "I think I'm going to go for a swim as well."

"Sounds like a good idea," she said.

I took off the clothes over my bathing suit and left them on the sand, scouring the water for Chris. I found him, waiting for me by some large rocks that the waves were gently crashing into. He smiled, having heard me say I was coming out. I jumped in and swam out to meet him, and he wrapped his arms around me. His body was warmer than usual in the water and under the hot sun, and his wet hair was sticking in a hundred different directions. Drops of water clung to his skin. He pulled us around to the other side of the rock and positioned me so that my back was against it, kissing me urgently, and pressing his body against mine.

"You know they're still not far away right?" I said when my lips were momentarily free. He kissed me again.

_I don't care. They can get gone or not, that is not my concern, _he answered me in his thoughts, not breaking our kiss. His hands slid down to my ass, and moved down further to my thighs, hoisting me up so that I could wrap my legs around him. I complied and pulled his hips to mine with my legs.

His fingers slipped under the bottoms of my bathing suit and suddenly I didn't care if we had an audience either. A quiet moan escaped my lips as his fingers pressed into me, his thumb rolling over my clit. I clutched him tighter as his hand moved slowly. I tried to move against him faster but he held me still. I cried out, begging him move faster, but he covered my mouth with his to quiet my plea. He kept moving like that until I came, and he slowly drew out my climax, continuing to rub my clit as I came down from the sensation.

He turned us around so that he was against the rock now and I freed his cock from his shorts, moving over him so he could enter me. I moved against him hard, dragging my tongue along his neck and kissing along his jaw. He grabbed my ass and pulled me against him forcefully, knowing that makes me crazy. I bent my head down against his shoulder, whimpering slightly. Suddenly my back was against the rock again and he drove into me frantically. I thrust my hips into him in return, forcing my eyes open to watch him as he lost control. His legs started to tremble slightly and his movements become choppy, thrusting into me hard in quick bursts. He roared as he came, sending me over the edge with him, crying out loudly. After a minute or two his movements stilled, both of us still breathing hard. _Holy shit_, he thought.

"Uh-huh," I said in agreement, not able to form a more coherent thought. He pulled himself out of me and fixed his trunks. He hoisted himself up onto the rock we had been leaning against, and reached down to pull me up beside him. He sat me in his lap so that my back was against his chest, and my legs over his. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my cheek. I relaxed under the combined sensations of my skin against his and the warmth of the sun over us. I closed my eyes and sighed. "I love this place," I said.

"When was the last time you came?" I looked up at him with a smirk when he said this.

"About three minutes ago, " I replied with a laugh.

"I mean when was the last time you visited here, smartass," he said.

"We came here for a month or so before we moved to Forks, so I was a few years younger than Nessie is now. I had been here twice before that. It's funny that we haven't all been here in so long."

"Plenty of time for the house to air out after Bella and Edward's honeymoon," Chris joked.

"Ha, good point."

I crawled off of his lap then to lie back on the rock, my hands behind my head. He put his hands behind him and leaned back. "Mmm," I said approvingly.

"What?" he said, not turning around.

"Just enjoying the view," I replied, staring at his muscular back and arms. "You know, you should really just never wear a shirt."

"If I don't wear a shirt, then you won't be wearing pants. Which will make my pants pointless. I don't think that plan will work very well," he said in a playful tone. "On second thought, that is a brilliant idea."

He was going to say something else when we heard someone calling our names. My parents had waded into the water nearby and were swimming up to the rock.

"We're not intruding are we?" Esme called up to us.

I rolled so I was lying on my stomach, looking over the edge at them. "Nope," I answered. She smiled and jumped up to where we were sitting, my father right behind her.

"Are you guys having a good time?" my mother asked.

"We are, thank you," Christopher answered.

"Nessie tells me you guys are coming to Rio with us later. Is that true or has Alice not told you that you're coming yet?" I said with a grin.

Carlisle nodded with a slight grimace. "We've actually been to that club before, believe it or not," he said. "But I thought Nessie and Jacob were going hiking today?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yea you and Edward both apparently."

He looked at me, with an expression of mock-surprise. "Are you insinuating that we are somehow in the dark about something?"

I laughed. "Not you so much."

He shook his head. "No, I think you cured me of any remaining naïveté in that regard," he said, rolling his eyes. "And speaking of which, from what I understand from your brother, Jacob isn't very skilled at hiding his thoughts."

"No, he's really not," I replied, laughing. "He's had seven years to master that skill. I'm not sure if I should feel worse for Nessie or for Edward."

Christopher and Esme joined in my laughter. "I'm not going to lie, I would much rather my brother-in-law be a mind reader than my father-in-law," Christopher said.

"Christopher, I think we can all agree on that," said Carlisle.

"Uh oh," I said, hearing Alice approach. "Incoming." Alice was making the rounds and ordering everyone to get back to the house to shower and get ready for the evening. My parents decided to stay behind for a while, so Chris and I made a quick exit to give them some space.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29. Party.

"Should I be disturbed that they're probably doing what we were doing earlier in basically the same place?" I joked as we ran back.

"There are a lot of things about this family that should be disturbing, Ellie," he said. "That doesn't remotely top the list."

"Touché," I laughed.

We got back to the house and said hello to Bella, who had just emerged from their room.

"Where's Edward?" I asked.

"Shower. Much to his dismay, I declined to join him so I could wait for Renesmee to come back," she said with a grin.

"Anyone else back yet?" I asked, looking around.

"Um, Jasper is around somewhere. I haven't seen Rose or Emmett in a while. Or Carlisle and Esme for that matter."

"We saw Esme and Carlisle a few minutes ago, I expect you won't see them back for a while yet," I said. "You guys coming tonight? I know how much you _love_ dancing."

She nodded. "You think the drill sergeant would let us _not_ come? I heard her arguing with Carlisle about it earlier. She plays dirty!"

Christopher tugged on my arm, starting to walk back toward our room, waving to Bella as he walked away and pulled me along. "Um. Guess I've gotta go. See you in a bit!" I said to Bella. She waved, shaking her head.

Chris threw me over his shoulder and took me back to our room. "Chris!" I shouted, laughing, smacking his back. "Put me down!" He dropped me on the bed and climbed on top of me.

"Okay," he said as he kissed me and hastily removed our bathing suits. I laughed as his lips moved against mine.

"Chris, you're going to risk the ire of-" I started to say before he cut me off.

"Let's not discuss your family members right now, please," he pleaded between kisses. I forgot what I had been about to say, my attention now thoroughly diverted to the feeling of his hands on my body.

* * *

We lay together quietly an hour or two later. I had little concept of time on the island, but I could see that the sun was starting to set. "So, we really do need to get in the shower," I whispered.

He rolled his eyes and sat up reluctantly. We showered quickly, I could hear Alice fuming down the hall and knew she would start yelling at me in her mind any minute. When he finished drying off, Chris dropped his towel and walked out of the bathroom to get dressed while I dried my hair. I laughed when I heard him swear and dart to grab some boxers when Alice decided it was time to let herself in to check our progress.

"For Christ's sake Alice, you could have knocked!" Chris shouted angrily. She waved dismissively at him.

"Ten minutes, Christopher. You have _ten_ minutes," she said, before closing the door. I shut off the hair dryer and came out of the bathroom. I grabbed a red dress - one shouldered, fitted and short - and sleek black heels. I turned to Chris and he had pulled on black jeans that were perfectly tailored to him and a well-fitted, dark blue collared shirt to go with it. He rolled the sleeves up revealing his forearms.

"Jesus," he said, looking at me. "I'm sorry, I don't think we will make it to the club after all."

I put my arms around his waist and leaned up to kiss him. "Honey. If we don't go, the tiny scary vampire might kill us. So smile, we have a party to go to!"

Everyone else had gathered in the living room. Alice was glaring at us, tapping her foot impatiently since we were the last to appear. "Sorry boss," I said.

"You know, Ellie, your decade is almost up," she huffed. Everyone laughed, and she rounded on Edward. "I wouldn't be so quick to laugh, Edward," Alice said, turning on our brother. "You two are almost worse than they are." Alice turned to direct us all toward a large board out at the pier that my parents had rented earlier in the day. Edward and Emmett would be in charge of driving the boat.

When we got to the club we were admitted and weaved our way through the crowded dance floor. Chris put his hands on my waist and started to move us in sync with the music. I loved to dance with him. The exhilaration on his face as we moved together left me breathless. I wasn't paying much attention to anyone else around us, he pulled me closer, with one hand on my hip and the other holding my hand as we glided along the floor, before releasing my hand and drawing both of his hands down my back before resting them on my hips. He turned me so that I was facing away from him; his hips were pressed against me as we swayed back and forth. I glanced around and saw all of my family members focused similarly on their partners.

When Alice decided it was time to move on to phase two of the evening we left the club and headed back out into the Rio streets, which were much more crowded now. Nessie was having a blast taking it all in.

Christopher and I walked slowly together, behind the rest of our family. The crowded street reminded him of a festival in France that we had come upon during our trip. I leaned my head on his shoulder as we walked, smiling as I saw where his memory was leading. He thought back to later that same evening, when we had returned to our hotel suite. That night marked seven years exactly that we had been married, and Christopher was extremely emotional, and channeled that emotion into worshiping me throughout the night.

I was amazed that I remembered anything from that night; I spent most of it totally delirious from his undivided attention. He smiled to himself as he thought back to the memories he shared with me that night. While he worshipped me he thought of of all the times he wanted to take me before I came to his office that day, beyond furious. How the night that I declined his offer to escort me to my car, he had imagined what he _really_ wanted to do with me in that hallway. How the day I yelled at him in his office, he tried to conceal his thoughts from me so that I wouldn't know how terrified he was that I would storm out of his office and disappear from his life.

_I was, _he thought to me that night, _terrified. I decided then that I had to make you mine before I missed the opportunity that was screaming at my face, literally_. _You didn't know you were mine yet, of course, but you were. I couldn't stand to think that you might walk away from me that night._ His thoughts, combined with the overwhelming feeling of his tongue against my skin, threw me over the edge so ferociously that I thought for sure there would be complaints about the noise coming from our room. He climbed back over me, intending to enter me, but stopped short when he saw the tears in my eyes. He sat up and pulled me to him as I sobbed into his chest, completely consumed by the emotion and love that he had poured over me.

Our reminiscence was interrupted by an exasperated sigh from my brother. "That," he said, "is _way_ too much information, Christopher. I beg you to please get a grip."

Bella leaned into her husband, "What's he thinking about?" she whispered.

"Our anniversary, Bella," I said, laughing. She turned around and raised her eyebrows, before turning back slowly to face forward.

"Pretty bad, huh?" She said to Edward.

"Brutal," he replied.

Chris and I laughed as we all climbed aboard the boat to head back to the island. He pulled me into his lap as the boat maneuvered away from the dock. I looked at him and he brushed a few strands of hair away from my face. "Hi there," he said.

"Hi," I said, smiling. I played with the collar of his shirt and leaned up to kiss him. My fingers traced along his jaw and down his neck. He closed his eyes, sighing slightly at my touch. "I love you," I whispered in his ear. "More, everyday." I leaned my head against his chest and he ran his fingers through my hair. Bella, Alice and Jasper were discussing the upcoming move to New Hampshire in January. We had more than overstayed in Forks, but hadn't moved because of Charlie and the pack. We had recently decided that the time to move had come, but Nessie had requested that we at least wait until after Christmas.

Chris was on sabbatical from UW for this semester, and hadn't decided what he wanted to do when we got to New Hampshire. He was excited, however, that I was going to resume my studies at Dartmouth. He was trying to talk me into enrolling as a master's candidate. I was trying to convince him to keep teaching.

"I will make you a deal, Professor," I said suddenly. "I will enroll, as a grad student, if you take the position that I _know_ you were offered but you were trying to not to tell me to not influence my decision." I smiled gently, so he knew I wasn't mad about his lack of disclosure. "There is _no_ reason why you should have to stop doing what you love."

He shook his head, smiling at me. "Deal."

"Ellie," Bella said. "Edward is going to be studying music as a grad student as well."

"What about you?" I asked her. She hadn't attended college yet - they had decided to put that off while Nessie was young.

"English Lit, I think," she said. I knew that Nessie had decided to major in music as well, but as an undergrad.

"Uncle Chris," Nessie called back to us. "What are you going to teach? I want to take one of your classes."

"Well I usually teach a couple Music Theory courses. When I spoke to the hiring committee, they mentioned that they would also be interested in me taking over one of the Composition classes, and I think I might do that. Since Ellie will be on campus as well, I don't mind taking on a bit more," he said, smiling.

"Bella," I said. "Have you told Charlie about the move yet?"

She nodded. "Yeah. He's not thrilled, but he understands. Edward said he immediately started thinking about the odds that Sue would be willing to move east."

"Christopher," Esme spoke up then. "Are you and Ellie still planning to buy a house there? I'm planning on flying out after we get back to Forks to visit a few properties. You two are more than welcome to come along if you want to check some out as well."

Chris started to make plans with Esme - he was _very_ interested in this subject. We had given up our Seattle apartment about a year ago to spend more time with the family and he was itching for us to have our own space again. Before long the boat had docked back at the island and we were all heading back to the house for Phase 2 of the birthday celebration.

* * *

The party wound down significantly after Nessie fell asleep leaning against Edward's shoulder. Chris and I were sitting together in a chair speaking quietly with Bella about Dartmouth. Jacob interrupted, whispering that he wanted to speak with Edward and Bella alone for a few minutes. Before the request had fully left his mouth, Chris stood us up abruptly and led me by the hand back out of the house, grabbing a couple of beach towels from the cabinet by the door as we walked out.

"What was that about?" I asked him, confused by our hasty departure. I had assumed that Jacob, Edward and Bella would head somewhere for their conversation, and was surprised when Chris rose instead. He turned to me, not answering my question and kissed me.

"Let's go for a swim," he said. He carried me back out near the rock where we had spent time earlier in the day, and after setting me down on the sand, quickly took off his clothes.

"Chris," I said laughing, "What if someone comes by?"

"No one's around," he said rolling his eyes. He unzipped my dress and helped me out of it. "Come on."

We waded into the water and he took me in his arms. "Sorry about that," he nodded back toward the house. _Can you hear Edward right now?_

I listened closely. I could hear everyone but Edward, Bella and Jacob. "No. What's going on?"

_Jacob and I had an interesting conversation earlier, _he thought. _He wanted to know what Carlisle's reaction was when I asked his permission to marry you._

I stared at him open mouthed. "Wait," I said. "Is he asking them _now_?"

Chris nodded. "I think so. That's why I made us leave so quickly. I didn't want to fuck up and let it slip before he had a chance to say what he had to say."

"Whoa," I said, playing absently with a lock of his hair. "At least we will have cover when Edward's head explodes all over the island," I joked as we swam up to the rock. Chris chuckled, pulling me closer and kissing me. It was clear that he no longer wanted to discuss our family members.

"May I say, Mrs. Dawling, just how incredible you looked this evening, and just how much I love to dance with you?"

"You may," I said, kissing him back.

"And also," he added. "I am so excited about Dartmouth. "

"You're excited about having our own house," I said with a grin, tapping his nose.

He laughed. "_Yes_ I most definitely am. But I'm excited for you as well. I think you are going to love it."

"The house? Or Dartmouth," I said.

"Mmm," he murmured, leaning in to kiss me again. "Both."

* * *

"Are you cold?" Christopher whispered to me as we sat together on the rock later that night. The waves below us shimmered and Christopher's arms around me were stark white in the pale moonlight. Even after years together he still worried that I was cold against him. Never mind that my body temperature was warm enough to negate the cold from his body.

"No, I'm fine," I said. Our clothes and towels were still on the beach, but I wasn't worried about anyone finding us, our family members were all similarly occupied. "You know I'm not cold, silly," I said. He laughed softly and kissed my shoulder.

"I know. Just checking," he said. He drew his fingers along my arms and down my sides; I was leaning against his chest, his legs on either side of mine. We sat quietly like that for a while, Chris was lost in thought and I tried to tune him out, leaving him to his thoughts.

"Jacob mentioned something interesting earlier," he said. "About Nessie."

"Oh?" I said. "What?"

"Apparently when they started seeing each other like they are, her, um, cycles started. You know, regularly," he said awkwardly.

I looked up at him, curious, "Not your typical guys' conversation," I mused.

He shrugged. "He was wondering if that was...normal."

"Hm," I said, not knowing how else to respond. "What did you tell him?"

"That I had no experience in that area. And that as far as I knew your experience was minimal," he answered.

"Hm," I said again. "I hadn't realized that, you know, about Nessie."

"How could you not?" he asked, confused. Of course, those with our senses would be aware of such a thing.

I shook my head. "No, I mean I didn't realize that the regularity coincided that directly with their relationship. Since we were gone when it started, I guess. It just didn't register," I explained. "Do you know Leah's theory? About the imprinting?"

"That it's to ensure continuation of the line?" he responded.

I nodded. "Seems like she's onto something there. So," I said, drawing the word out, not really sure why we were discussing this. "What's up?"

"Nothing, I just thought it was interesting," he said too quickly.

I looked at him again. "Honey, you can tell me. It's okay," I said.

"It just made me wonder; that's all. I would have thought that if that _were _normal, for someone like Nessie or…you…that would have kicked in for you by now," he said.

"Am I allowed to say that I'm not sorry it hasn't? I mean, bleeding every month in a family of vampires? No thanks," I said, only half-kidding.

He chuckled. "I don't think it would be an issue. But fair point."

I sighed. "I understand what you are saying. So I'm not normal then. Not shocking."

"That's not what I was suggesting at all. I was thinking it was me," he said.

"How do you figure?" I said.

I felt him shrug. "If the fertility thing is true, then clearly something was triggered by the change in their relationship, right?"

"I guess," I said.

"Well there you go," he said. "Our relationship didn't trigger that. If I were, _able_, don't you think it would have?"

I shook my head. "I don't think so Chris, I mean, I've been with two men. Granted, one is my mate, and the other was not, but still. There's been no shortage of opportunities here for nature to kick in and it hasn't," I said.

He made a face at my vague reference to Nahuel, but controlled his expression quickly. "Hm," he said, considering my argument.

"And let's not discount the possibility that this was all just a huge coincidence," I said pausing for a moment. "Chris," I whispered.

"Yes?" he answered.

"Does it matter? I mean, has something changed for you that I'm not aware of?"

He sighed. "No, of course not. It just struck me that if you ever changed your mind, if _you_ ever wanted more, that maybe I couldn't give it to you."

"Yea, well, now that's kind of how I feel," I said. "I was just worried that maybe you..."

"I what?" he said. I shrugged, not really sure what I was going to say. "Look. All I want is you. All I will ever _need_ is you. I'm sorry if I upset you."

"You didn't upset me Chris. We can talk about this stuff. You can tell me if anything has changed, now or later, okay?" I said.

"I know baby," he whispered into my hair. "I love you."

"I love you too."

We sat quietly again for a while, before all of a sudden Bella's shield snapped and Edward's thoughts came screaming into my head.

"Holy shit," I said, bringing my hands to my face and my knees to my chest.

"What?!" Chris asked, tensed and alarmed.

"No, it's okay." I put my hands on his legs. "I'm sorry. It's just that Bella must have lost her focus because all of a sudden Edward's thoughts came back and um, it was rather explicit there for a second." Christopher laughed loudly. "Seriously, I was not prepared for that."

A little while later, after enjoying a few more explicit moments of our own, we decided to swim back to shore. He wrapped his towel around his hips and grabbed our clothes while I covered up with the other towel. As we walked, we saw Jasper standing at the water's edge, looking out at the ocean.

"Deep thoughts, Jazz?" Chris asked as we walked behind him.

"You bet," he answered. "Chris, do you have any interest in heading back to the mainland to hunt?" Chris looked at me questioningly.

"You don't need my permission," I said. "Go!"

"Sounds great Jasper. Give me five minutes."

When we got back to our room, he dressed and kissed me goodbye before leaving to meet my brother on the beach. I looked back at our bed, contemplating sleep, but not really feeling like sleeping alone. I threw on some shorts and a top and walked back out into the main part house, stretching out on the sofa and turning on the TV. There was nothing good on in the middle of the night so I settled on a news channel and closed my eyes.

I must have fallen asleep on the couch at some point. I opened my eyes, confused at first to find myself back in our bedroom, before I realized Chris was lying next to me.

"How was you hunt?" I asked sleepily.

He smiled, brushing hair back from my face. "It was good," he said. He leaned down to kiss me gently.

I noticed his laptop beside him as he pulled his face back from mine. "What are you up to?" I asked him, nodding toward the computer.

"I was looking at listings in New Hampshire. Esme sent me a couple of suggestions, and I found a few others. If you like them I was thinking that it would be a good idea to go out with Esme and take a look. Do you want to see?" he reached for the laptop.

"Sure," I said. It made me happy to see he was so excited about the upcoming move. He pulled up several listings and showed them to me, detailing what he liked or didn't like. We narrowed down the list some and he made a note of which ones he wanted to set up times to see. He approached the subject with such intensity it made me giggle a little to watch him.

"What's so funny?" he asked, not looking up from his notes.

"You are such a geek sometimes. It's adorable," I said.

He looked at me then, his eyebrows raised. "Did you seriously just call me a geek?"

"Yep, a cute geek though," I said, and squealed as he put his things aside and pulled me down on top of him.

"Cute?" he said, pouting slightly.

"Gorgeous," I said, leaning down to kiss him, and moving my legs on either side of him. I pressed myself against him and sighed quietly at the feeling of him beneath me.

"That's better," he whispered, smiling against my lips. His hands ran under my shirt up my back, before he slipped one hand under the fabric of my shorts to feel my ass. I moved my hips slowly, rubbing myself against where he was hard under his clothes, and moaned slightly at the contact. He took off his shorts and mine and kneeled on the bed, pulling me up on my knees and turning me around so that my back was against his chest. He pulled off my shirt and slowly moved his hands from my shoulders to my breasts, kissing my neck. I leaned back into him, pressing my ass against him. He dropped one of his hands along my abdomen continuing down to where I was wet for him.

"Oh god Chris," I sighed as his fingers circled my clit. He spread my legs slightly and pulled my hips back against him and thrust into me hard from behind. I bit my lip to keep from crying out loudly as he moved in me again and again like that.

"That's it baby," he whispered in my ear as my body started to tremble, my climax starting to take hold. When it subsided, he turned me around so that I was on top of him, and with his hands on my hips he drove into me until he exploded as well. Both of us breathing hard after, I laid down next to him, his arms snaking around me. "So," he said, kissing my forehead. "What do you want to do today?"

"More of that," I said.

He laughed. "I thought that was a given," he said winking. "I meant _other_ than that," though even as he said that his hands started to roam, his fingers stroking me slowly. He ducked his head to take one of my nipples in his mouth. I arched my back at the feeling of his hands and mouth on me and wrapped my hand around his cock, sliding it it along his length, squeezing slightly as I moved over his head. He groaned and began to thrust into my hand, moving his fingers faster inside of me in response. He rolled my clit roughly with his thumb and I gasped, fisting his hair with one hand and moving harder against his cock with the other. He was close, but before he could come in my hand he flipped us around so that I was sitting over his face and leaning over him. I took him in my mouth eagerly.

"Oh god," I cried out as he sucked my clit between his teeth, continuing to fuck me with his fingers, my cry muffled by his forceful movement. I rocked over his mouth while he thrust in mine, and we moaned loudly as we came together.

"Um," I said with a grin as I climbed off of him, "What were we talking about before?"

He moved to lay beside me, with his head by mine. "I have no idea," he answered me. "I think though that if we're going to be doing more of _that_ today we should probably relocate."

I giggled and rolled onto my side, curled up against him. "Why bother, I think all of Brazil heard that." I grimaced at my father's thoughts. "Oops. I think we've driven my parents out of their own house."

He laughed softly. "Perhaps we ought to get up then, before they send us packing."


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30. Moving.

"Ellie! Christopher! Hurry up!" Alice shouted. "They will be here any second!"

"Sorry Alice!" I shouted back to my sister as Christopher and I hurried, laughing, down the stairs to the main level of our Forks house. We were expecting guests for Nessie and Jacob's surprise engagement party to begin arriving momentarily, with the guests of honor to arrive in about an hour.

Chris grabbed me on the landing mid-way down the stairs and kissed me. "I love you," he whispered.

I kissed him back, but quickly pulled away to pull him down the stairs with me. "I love you too, but you are going to get me in trouble." He laughed and picked me up, carrying me down the stairs and setting me in front of my sister.

"She's all yours, boss," he said. She glared at him, and turned to inspect me, grudgingly giving me a nod of approval. _Your decade is almost UP, Ellie. _

I couldn't keep a straight face, and neither could Edward. _What?_ Chris thought to me.

"My sister has kindly reminded me that our 'decade is almost up,'" I said, mimicking her irritated voice. He rolled his eyes and pulled me back to him.

"Good luck with that, Alice," he said, kissing my neck.

Guests began to arrive quickly after that. All of the members of Jacob's pack were in attendance, some looking more comfortable than others. Charlie, Sue and Billy were in attendance as well. We were set to leave for New Hampshire in just a few days, so Alice wanted to be sure to have a proper send-off for the newly engaged couple before the move.

* * *

The party went off without a hitch, of course, and Nessie and Jacob had a great time celebrating. The days that followed, leading up to the move, passed quickly. Christopher and I had made a cash offer on a house and we were flying out a day early for the settlement. We decided for now to leave my car here, he wanted to buy a new one when we got to New Hampshire. Our flight was scheduled first thing, so before the sun came up Chris gently shook my arm to wake me up.

"Sweetheart we have to get ready to go," he whispered softly. I complied, getting dressed and gathering my things. I looked around the room for a minute, many of our things had already been shipped to the new house, and some things would stay. I knew that it would be a long time before this house would be home again. I thought about the last time I moved from this house, to Ithaca, and how wholly different my life is now from that day.

Chris put his hand on my shoulder, drawing me out of my thoughts. "You ready?"

"Yea," I answered. My dad was going to drive us to the airport, and was waiting in the garage for us. He dropped us off and we passed through security quickly. Our flight boarded and took off on time, which was helpful as we had a tight schedule once we landed. We took a cab straight to the settlement office and signed all the papers pertaining to the sale of the house. We had made arrangements for the payment to be processed electronically. Once the confirmation on the transaction was received, they handed us our keys and we headed to our new home.

We had arranged for the movers to arrive later today, they would have the furniture that had been in our Seattle apartment. This house was much larger, so we would have to supplement that some, though Chris had arranged to have some of his belongings from his house at Cornell brought here as well. We had already discussed some ideas for painting and decorating that we would start to tackle over the next few weeks. We stepped out of the cab in front of the house, and as it drove away, Chris scooped me up to carry me in.

"I didn't do this properly before," he said, thinking about our Seattle apartment. He stepped in the door and kissed me. "Welcome home."

He set me down as the movers arrived, backing the truck down the long driveway. The property was set back off the street, and there was a fair amount of distance between our house and the nearest neighbors. We were still located closer to others than is typically preferred by my family, but for just Chris and me, the house would provide sufficient privacy.

Over the next few hours, we directed the moving crew and arranged and assembled furniture. As the night wore on, long after the movers had left, I collapsed on a couch downstairs while Christopher fiddled with his piano. It was desperately in need of tuning, as it had been ignored for the last seven years.

I must have fallen asleep at some point, and when I woke I was still curled up on the couch, a blanket draped over me. Christopher was playing the piano, his eyes focused. He was listening intently to be sure the sound was perfect. I watched him play, mesmerized by the sight of his fingers flying effortlessly over the keys, and listening to his mind process the sounds. When he finished, he stood without a word and sat by me, placing a hand on my face.

"Breathe," he whispered, a boyish grin on his face, knowing exactly the effect he had on me when he played. I didn't even realize I had been holding my breath watching him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him urgently. He kissed me back hard in response, laying us both back on the couch. His hands moved along my body slowly, I could hear in his thoughts his elation that it was only the two of us together in the house, no fear of interruption. I moaned against his lips, excited by this prospect as well.

When I woke again, the sun was high in the sky, and light filled our bedroom. "When did we move in here?" I asked him, thinking back on the previous night's activities.

"I don't remember exactly," he said with a soft laugh. "I was a little preoccupied. Did you sleep well?"

"You tell me," I said. "I don't know how you stand it just hanging out here while I am sleeping. You must be bored to death."

He sat up slightly, leaning over me, and brushed my hair out of my face. "You are silly. I am never bored when you are sleeping." He kissed me lightly.

"Do you have anything planned for today?" I asked him.

"Not a thing," he said.

"Good," I replied, pulling him down to me.

* * *

Over the next few days as the rest of our family arrived we helped them get settled and got the lay of the land. Tomorrow, the music department was holding orientation sessions for newly admitted students, so Christopher, Edward Nessie and I all had to be on campus. Edward and I were scheduled to attend the same session, and Christopher would be one of the faculty members conducting Nessie's session.

Christopher and I walked into the building and stopped at one of the auditoriums. I looked up and gasped as I read the name: Dawling Hall.

"Um, what?" I gasped and turned to Christopher, stunned. I knew he had taught at Dartmouth many decades ago, but he hadn't told me about this.

_Sorry. I should have warned you about that. Named after my great grandfather, _he thought with a wink. I nodded, still staring at the letters over the door.

"Ready Ellie?" Edward asked, nodding toward the door.

"Um, yea," I said. Chris kissed me quickly. _Have fun. See you later. _

I followed Edward and we went up to a table to sign in, collecting schedules and various other papers. The group of graduate students beginning during the winter term was relatively small; there were only about 50 students in attendance. A male professor, Dr. Carter, called the group to order. He explained the goals of the graduate program and began calling students up one by one for an impromptu performance for critique.

I watched as he berated some and praised others, listening to the thoughts of the other faculty members who were observing. Apparently every year, Dr. Carter singled out a student, nearly always female, to target with insane amounts of criticism. Apparently that was the primary reason for this exercise. Edward heard this as well, and raised his eyebrows. _My money's on you, Dawling, _he thought.

"Great," I muttered. Edward rose when his name was called. Dr. Carter praised his performance and dismissed him from the stage, looking down at his roster.

"Ms. _Dawling_," he called, emphasizing my last name with curiosity. Dr. Carter evaluated me as I walked toward the stage, his expression hard. He handed me the most technically complicated piece chosen up to that point, which I played with ease. _Nice Ellie,_ I heard Edward think.

"Excuse me Ms. Dawling," Dr. Carter said, "You received your undergraduate degree from which institution?"

"Cornell, sir," I answered. Chris thought that I would fare better if my records reflected a degree from Cornell, as opposed to University of Washington.

"Well, I'm afraid you may find our standards are far less lenient. And family legacy will not help you avoid the rigors of this program." He waved me off and called the next name.

I stood and walked back to my seat. _Gee, that was fun. _

_You are so screwed,_ Edward replied, trying not to laugh. _Seriously though, you were perfect. He's an ass. _

I nodded and watched him praise performances that were far inferior to mine, starting to wonder what I had gotten into. Once everyone had been called, the session was dismissed. Edward and I stood, but before we could leave, a woman came over looking for me.

"Ms. Dawling?" I heard her call. I sighed, annoyed at the sound of my name, and turned around.

"Hi," I answered. "Ellie, please."

"Hi," she said, not as bold as she was initially in her approach once she got a closer look at Edward peering over my shoulder. "I'm Valerie Gilbert. Sorry to stop you, I just heard your name before, when Dr. Carter called you up." I grimaced, remembering. "Anyway, I was curious. Are you related to the teacher this hall was named after?"

"No, not related," I said slowly.

She barreled ahead, barely registering my response. "My great grandmother had him when she attended here, I thought it would be cool if you were related." She finally took a breath. Her mind was guarded, strange for a human.

"No," I repeated. "Dawling is my married name."

"Oh," she said, her eyes wide. "Your husband is the _new_ Professor Dawling?"

_Edward, help please,_ I thought. "Yep," I answered.

"Ellie," Edward interrupted, mercifully. "We have to go." He looked at Valerie. "Sorry to interrupt," he added.

"Nice to meet you Ellie! I hope I get to meet your husband soon!" she said as I waved and turned to leave.

"Jesus," I muttered. "I'm going to change my name back to Cullen. Fuck this insanity."

He laughed. "I don't think that would help at this point. You've been marked already."

"Damn it."

We stopped outside of another hall where Nessie and Christopher's session was wrapping up. As the students began to trickle out, we slipped in.

"Hey honey," Christopher said, kissing my cheek. "How was it?"

"Fine," I said, not feeling like elaborating. I groaned internally as I saw Dr. Carter headed our way. I was about to turn the other way when Chris grabbed my hand.

"Ellie, I'd like you to meet our Department Chair. Dr. Carter, this is my wife, Ellie."

"Yes," he said, unimpressed. "We met earlier. I will see you in class," he said grudgingly, making his exit.

Chris looked at me curiously. _What was that about?_

"Apparently, I'm his bitch this semester," I answered in a low voice.

"What?!"

"Apparently he picks one student each term to give hell to, and I'm it." I shrugged.

"Do you want me to talk to him?" he asked, his brow furrowed.

"No!" I said, shaking my head. "Definitely not." I looked at him significantly, making sure that he knew I meant it.

"Okay, okay," he said, holding his hands up slightly.

"Oh also, I was stopped by this weird girl. She was all curious about whether I was related to _the _Professor Dawling," I said dramatically. "She said her great grandmother was a student or something?"

Just then, I heard her coming. "Oh for god's sake, she's coming to look for you," I said, irritated.

"Jealous?" He said with a grin.

I shot him an exasperated stare. "Something's off about her."

He shook his head and I walked over to Edward and Nessie, not wanting to have another conversation with Valerie Gilbert.

_Something _is_ off, _Edward thought, affirming my comment.

"Good," I grumbled. "Glad it's not just me."

I watched as she fawned over my husband, not hiding my irritation. He excused himself and headed over to us a moment later, noticing my annoyed expression.

_You _are_ jealous,_ he thought, amused.

"No. I'm not. Something's not right with her." He shook his head and put his hand on my back, leading me out of the hall. I sighed, but let it drop.

* * *

The next few weeks were more of the same. I took the brunt of Dr. Carter's frustrations in life, apparently, and Edward could do no wrong. I heard another faculty member thinking one day that it was almost as if it was his mission just to make his chosen student cry before the end of the semester. I redoubled my efforts, and by all other accounts, including other faculty members, out performed all of my classmates, with the exception of my brother. I took solace in Christopher's encouragement, and he continuously offered to intercede with his colleague.

"Ellie, be reasonable. He's making you miserable, and there's no reason for it," he argued with me one night.

"Chris, I love you, but there's nothing you can do to make it better," I said, sighing. "I think I was marked as soon as he read my name," I mumbled, cringing immediately.

"What do you mean?" he said. I sighed. I hadn't meant to say that. Before we left Esme's Island, Chris and I had an extensive debate about what name I would enroll under at Dartmouth. I had wanted to enroll as a Cullen, so that there were no misconceptions about how I got there and whether it was just because I had a family or marriage connection. Christopher insisted that was ridiculous, and was not in favor of me changing my name back to Cullen for school. At the end of the day because it was that important to him, I decided to enroll as Eleanor Dawling.

I shook my head, clearing the memory from my mind and refocusing on the present issue. "Exactly what I said, Chris. Dr. Carter marked me as soon as he read my name. He made the connection to you - be it you now or you _then_," I said referring to his previous tenure at the college. "He made a comment at the very first session that 'family legacy' would not prove useful to me. I can play something exactly as Edward does and he will declare it amateur hour. I just need to survive this term and be done with it."

I looked at him, beseeching him with my eyes to understand that I just wanted to get through this, without the further complication of my husband swooping in to save me. The tears that I had been fighting since that first day were brimming in my eyes. Christopher didn't comment further, wiping the teardrops from my eyes, and kissing me with intensity. I quickly lost track of what we were discussing.

I woke up the next day feeling drained despite the hours of sleep, and confused because Chris was not lying beside me. I got dressed and walked downstairs, and heard his voice. He was on the phone, presumably with a student. They had a tendency to call him at strange hours with panicked questions regarding assignments and projects. I walked into the kitchen to make coffee, and his conversation caught my ear.

I realized he was talking to Valerie Gilbert, who had made it a point to seek him out on campus every few days. Just the day before she was talking my ear off, singing my husband's praises, and going on and on about the mysterious grandmother. I fumed, not understanding how she had his contact information and why, as a master's student, she was calling him in the first place.

My phone buzzed as I poured my coffee. I pulled it from my pocket to read the message.

_Don't freak out, Ellie. -Alice_

I took a deep breath and set the phone down. There was something about this girl that I didn't understand, and that _did _freak me out. I took another breath, and Chris walked into the kitchen, having ended the call.

"Hey baby, sorry about that," he said, kissing me quickly.

"Who was on the phone?" I asked, tense.

He hesitated. "You know, or you wouldn't be asking."

I rolled my eyes. "It's been what, a whole 36 hours for her?"

"What is your problem Ellie? Do you really think I would do something with her?" he shot back accusingly.

"What? Are you crazy? No!" I shouted. I smacked my hands against the counter in frustration. I could not believe what I heard. I was not stupid enough to think that my _mate _would cheat on me. "You really think this is about jealousy?"

He looked at me, aggravation clear on his face. "Well, what else could it be?"

"You don't think her fascination is odd?" I was kicking myself mentally for engaging the conversation. My phone buzzed again.

_Watch it._

I couldn't stop myself. I could see my eyes in his mind, furious, ready to lash out.

"She cornered me yesterday, Chris. Talking my ear off about how lucky I am to be with you, and how amazing it is that she has a chance to learn from you the way her great grandmother did. _What_ is the deal with her great grandmother?"

He glared at me. I don't think I'd ever seen such anger on his face. "Eleanor. There is _nothing_ for you to be concerned about here. She is just enthusiastic."

"I'll say," I scoffed bitterly. "What is she calling you on your cell phone for Christopher?"

"She asked me to be a faculty mentor for her program. Like I've done for _many_ other students, Eleanor," he said angrily.

I stood there, stunned that he was still insisting that my frustration was based in jealousy. There was _something_ about this girl that wasn't right. It was almost as if she knew something.

A knock at the door interrupted our argument, and I stormed out of the kitchen to answer it. It was my brother; I had forgotten that we were supposed to be working on a project for Dr. Carter today.

"Can we go somewhere else?" I asked him. He registered my distressed expression at once.

"Yes, let's go," he said, asking no questions. I slammed the door behind me.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31. Fight.

As I walked to Edward's car, I was aware of Christopher watching me leave, hurt by my sudden departure. I was trying very hard to control my thoughts for the moment.

"Edward?" I asked.

"Yes?"

"Valerie Gilbert."

His mouth set in a line. "Yes?"

"Impression?"

"She's hard to read. I don't like that, something is off," he said slowly.

"Almost like she _knows_ something, right?" I pressed.

He nodded, thinking it over more. "Yes, I would agree with that."

"She's all over Christopher. She was on the phone with him when I woke up this morning. He doesn't think anything is off though. I'm just _jealous_." I scoffed at the word, balling my hands into tight fists as I ranted.

"_Are_ you?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"I don't know. Maybe? But I'm not _just _jealous," I said. "Something is wrong here. This isn't my first go around as faculty wife. I know how this works."

Edward nodded, letting me vent.

"I mean really, I've been doing this for a few years now. I know better than to freak out over every student that's _interested_ in him. I was raised watching Esme not murder every nurse that looked twice at Carlisle. This is different though. I am _not _just being ridiculous." I crossed my arms. "Right?"

He sighed. "I don't think you are, Ellie. For what it's worth, Bella doesn't either. We were talking about this earlier."

"Really?" I said.

He nodded. "Alice saw something like this happening, probably by _her_ decision to call Chris this morning."

"Fuck. What else did she see?"

He shrugged. "Nothing that I'm aware of."

"Alice told me to watch it, she texted me before Chris hung up. I ignored her," I said. "This morning, I mean."

"She said you were pretty fired up. That's why I left early to come over," he replied.

I looked at the clock. He wasn't supposed to be at our house for another 30 minutes. "Huh. I didn't even realize what time it is," I sighed. "I hate this."

"You guys don't fight," he said.

I shook my head. "Nope. It sucks."

He nodded. "It will be okay, you just need to cool down."

"Did Alice tell you that?"

"No, I'm telling you that," he said gently.

"He's not telling me something," I said quietly. Edward nodded.

"I think you're probably right," he said.

"Where are we going?" I lamely, even though I could see we were headed to our parents' house.

"I thought maybe Alice could help. If not, you look like you could use some other company," he said, smiling at me.

"Thanks Edward."

"You're welcome, kiddo," he said.

We pulled up of the house, Alice, Bella and Rosalie standing on the porch waiting for me. "Oh Christ, " I said. "They're taking me shopping aren't they?"

Edward nodded, smiling slightly. "Seems like it."

"How did Nessie escape?"

"She has school. Uncle Chris would surely notice her absence," he said.

I rolled my eyes. "Not so sure about that."

He let out a low whistle. "You _are_ mad."

I hit my head on the headrest, letting out a long sigh before getting out of the car. Alice took one look at my expression and directed me straight to Emmett's Jeep. Rosalie got behind the wheel and Bella in the front seat and we took off. I wasn't sure where we were headed, but I didn't really care.

"Eleanor," Bella said twisting in her seat to look at me. "Give me your phone." I handed it to her. She turned it off. "You're ours today. No husband, no stupid professors, no stalker girls. Got it?"

I nodded, looking up with tears in my eyes that appeared before I could stop them. "Fuck," I said.

Alice held her arms out and I leaned on my sister's shoulder as I cried. "Oh honey," she said. "It's going to be okay. Fights happen. It's not the end of the world."

"I know," I said as I gasped for a whole breath. "It's not even that. He's writing me off. He's not telling me something. I don't understand what it is that he can't just fucking _tell me_."

"Shh," she said, stroking my hair.

"Alice," I said. "Am I wrong?"

She shook her head. "You're not. But I'm not sure how much I should say."

"Someone needs to tell me something, before I do something stupid," I said.

Alice hesitated.

"Alice, she's right. If you know something, just tell her. It's his own stupid fault if he misses the boat to do it himself," Rosalie said.

Alice sighed. "I don't really know anything. I've just seen vague flashes." She closed her eyes, and my mind was filled random images. None of them really meant anything, but one made my heart stop.

"Alice? What is he doing in that one?" I asked her of the image she had just shown me. Chris had a bag in his hand and was leaving our house. "He's _not _thinking about leaving? Right?!"

She shook her head. "I don't know Ellie," she said.

"He wouldn't," Bella said. Before she could say more, another flash. An old photo of a man; it was clearly Christopher, and a woman. _Christopher and Marilyn, 1935. _

"Alice! That's her!" I shouted. "Holy shit she looks just like Valerie."

"You don't think it _is_ Valerie, do you?" Rosalie asked when I explained the photo.

"No way. She's human, I'm sure of that," I said. I thought of the picture again. "They look...close," I mused. Like a couple.

"Ellie," Bella said. "Didn't Chris leave Dartmouth in 1935?"

"Yes," I replied.

"What if something...happened to this girl. Do you know why he left?"

I shook my head. "He didn't say. I didn't think to ask at the time."

"So he killed her," Rose concluded. "He's a vampire, that's how it goes. Why be so secretive?"

"Why, indeed," I said thoughtfully. "Unless they were...together."

"Like me and Edward?" Bella said.

I nodded. "Maybe. That would explain his jump to accusing me of being jealous. Maybe I _should be_. This Marilyn looks just like Valerie."

"Ellie, you don't _really _think that do you?" Bella asked.

"I don't know what to think!" I exclaimed, frustrated now more than ever.

Suddenly, the car swerved as Rosalie decided to change our destination. She pulled into a public library that we had just passed. "Enough guessing. Let's see if we can find out what happened to this girl, and then you can call him out on it Ellie. If he did kill her, he has no reason not to tell you. And if they were together, so what? It was nearly a century ago at this point."

"No arguments, here," I said. "I have no delusions that he was a monk before we met for Christ's sake."

We got out of the car and headed back to find old newspaper clippings on microfilm. We knew the year at least, so each of us took a few months at a time. We got to work, hoping that if Marilyn Gilbert died, that her death would have been notable enough to draw some mention in the paper.

After about an hour of flipping through page after page, Bella piped up. "I've got something!"

The headline screamed at us from the screen:

"_**Local Girl, Missing, Presumed Dead**_

_Local Student, Marilyn Gilbert, is presumed dead after disappearing several days ago. Witnesses report that she was last seen leaving campus with a Dartmouth Professor, Christopher Dawling, though police have been unable to locate him for questioning..._"

I stopped reading. "So that's it isn't it?" I said. "He killed her, and had to skip town." I thought about it some more. Though I didn't like to admit this, as angry as I was for his current behavior, it occurred to me that if there had been something between them, he must have been devastated by what he had done.

Bella was quickly coming to the same conclusion. "Ellie," she said gently. "If they were, _together_-" I held my hand up, cutting her off.

"I know. I was just thinking about that."

"Maybe he wants to make up for it, by helping her great-granddaughter?" Bella suggested hopefully.

"He should be more concerned with the impact this is having on his actual wife," Rosalie scoffed.

"Or maybe, this girl reminds him of her. Maybe he thinks he can...have her back," I whispered, horrified by my own suggestion. "I need to go home, I need to get to the bottom of this," I said.

Without another word, my sisters got up and we went back to the car. I fidgeted anxiously in my seat the whole way back, not sure how I was going to bring this all up to Chris without it turning into another argument. When we pulled in the driveway, I hissed.

"She's here. In my fucking _house_."

I hopped out of the Jeep, but not before asking that my sisters sit tight for a minute. Depending on what I found inside, I may not be here long. I opened the door loudly and walked inside. I heard voices downstairs and walked toward them. I found Christopher was standing behind Valerie, who was sitting at his piano.

"Chris?" I said. I didn't say anymore because I couldn't trust my voice.

"Hi, Ellie," he said, glancing at me nervously. "She asked if she could run some stuff by me, but we were just finishing up."

I nodded, and turned to walk back upstairs. As I walked back through the front room, something caught my eye. It was the picture from Alice's vision. I picked it up and stared at it, tears filling my eyes. Chris and Valerie came upstairs then, and he stopped short when he saw me standing there holding the old photo.

"Isn't that old picture cool?" Valerie chirped at me, oblivious to my anger. "My grandmother found it among my great-grandmother's things, I thought Christopher might like to see it."

"Wow, I didn't realize you guys were on a first-name basis," I sneered, turning my furious gaze toward Valerie. "Valerie, what happened to your great grandmother? When did she graduate?"

Her eyes narrowed. She saw where I was going with my question. "She didn't. She died before she finished, when my grandmother, her daughter, was just a girl. Disappeared, actually."

"Really, what a shame. Do they know what happened?" I asked, staring at Christopher now. His eyes widened with horror as he realized that I knew something.

_Ellie, stop, _he thought angrily._ What in the hell are you doing? _I looked back to Valerie, ignoring him.

"They never found her. She was _presumed_ dead," Valerie said, eyeing me cautiously. She thought of the same news clipping that Bella had found earlier, and I knew it then. She knew what was going on here, or close enough. "Anyway, I must be going. Feel free to keep that picture," she said, waving dismissively as she walked toward the door, as if I had any intention of handing it back to her. She walked by the Jeep, still sitting in the driveway.

When Chris shut the door behind her, he rounded on me. "Have fun back there?" he growled.

"Loads of fun, Christopher. Nothing is more thrilling than trying to figure out what my husband has been keeping from me," I shouted back. I threw the picture at him. "So what _did_ happen to Marilyn?

"You seem to have it all figured out already, why don't you tell _me_?" he said. I'd never seen him so furious, especially not at _me_.

"No way, Christopher," I spat. "You do _not_ get to turn this around on me. Listen, I could give three shits what happened to that woman. But I'm telling you that this Valerie," I said pointing toward the space where Valerie had just been standing, "She knows. Whatever it is that you can't seem to tell you your _wife_, that girl _knows._"

We stood there, staring at each other for a long moment. When it was clear that he wasn't going to come clean, I tried to push past him. He grabbed my arm.

"Let go," I said angrily.

"Where are you going?" he said, his expression changed suddenly, stricken. He couldn't believe I would walk away from him, I could see the panic in his eyes. I swallowed, struggling to hold on to my anger and my conviction.

"I don't know. Let me go," I said again, pulling my arm from his hand. He released me reluctantly. I walked out without looking back at him, trying to get to the Jeep before he could see the tears in my eyes.

I had barely closed the door when Rose threw the Jeep in reverse, heading back to my parents' house. "What the fuck?" she muttered angrily. I didn't say anything. I was focusing on breathing and not puking. Tears ran down my cheeks, and Alice pulled me to her.

Bella's phone rang, she answered on the first ring. I could hear Edward's voice on the other end of the line. She explained what happened, her voice so low and speaking so quickly that even I had a hard time catching it all. "We will be there in a minute," she said.

"Christopher called the house," she said quietly after hanging up. "Carlisle talked to him." I nodded numbly. "We can go somewhere else if you would prefer."

"No, I don't care. The house is fine," I replied.

We walked into the house, and my brothers were waiting for us. "Want me to kick his ass Ellie?" Emmett asked, wrapping one of his huge arms around my shoulders.

"No Emmett, but thank you," I said, almost cracking a smile.

My mother peeked her head in. "Are you tired baby? Can I get you anything?" I shook my head. She came over and wrapped me in a hug. "It will be okay, sweetheart. He loves you." I nodded against her shoulder.

"I know. I just don't understand," I said, my voice muffled.

"Shh, it will work out," she whispered. "Your father is upstairs, do you want to go talk to him? He talked with Christopher a few minutes ago."

I sighed. "I guess so."

She led me up the stairs and we looked into Carlisle's study. He looked up and waved us in. "Hi honey, come on in."

He got up from his desk to sit on the couch beside me, with my mother sitting on the other side. "I talked to him a few minutes ago. He sounded really shaken up," Carlisle said.

I shrugged. "If he would talk to _me_ then we wouldn't be here right now."

Carlisle nodded, "I agree. I told him as much. He wanted to come here to talk to you, but I asked him to wait. I wanted to give you a chance to refuse."

"Thanks Daddy," I said. The truth was, I desperately wanted to see him, but the thought also terrified me. "I don't think it's a good idea right this moment," I said and my father nodded. "Dad? Did he tell you anything?"

"No, he didn't. I know what you know; Bella filled Edward in over the phone when the two of you were, um, discussing things, at the house. But Christopher didn't explain anything to me."

I sighed, exhausted from all the drama, and fell back against the couch. "This girl knows something, Dad," I said, my eyes closed. "She _knows_. I'm sure of it. She's not buying that the former Dr. Dawling was his great-grandfather and if he was responsible for the other woman's death, she knows that too. She knows to be careful, her thoughts are so guarded - even Edward thinks so. Chris doesn't want to hear any of that."

Carlisle processed this quietly. "You think, based on the picture, that Christopher and this Marilyn...that there was something between them?"

"It's just a guess, but yes. And for the record, _I don't care._ Or I wouldn't, under normal circumstances."

"I think your theory, that he did hurt her and subsequently is trying to allay some of his guilt, is plausible," he said with a sigh. "Which does not excuse his behavior."

"But what if it's more than that?" I said. "What if he thinks he can relive something through this stupid Valerie girl?"

He sighed. "I don't think it's likely, Ellie. His commitment to you, given the nature of your relationship, is virtually unbreakable. At least not without pretty dire consequences, as we saw when Edward left."

"Oh shit," I said before I could take comfort in his words; I saw Alice's vision at that moment. Chris decided he was coming here anyway. "I've got to go. He's coming here now, despite your request, and I just can't right now."

"Do you want a ride somewhere?"

"No, thank you Dad. I just want to go for a run by myself," I said as I stood to leave.

Once outside, I realized I was pretty thirsty, so I stopped to hunt quickly. Afterward I ran for a few more miles before slowing to a walk, there were roads nearby and I needed to take care to not be too conspicuous. I continued on until I reached the Dartmouth campus. I was really starting to hate this place, I thought to myself. However this mess with Christopher resolved itself, I was strongly considering withdrawing from the school. I didn't _need_ a degree from here, and I saw no reason to continue the ridiculous charade under the current circumstances.

I sat down with my back against a tree. The sun had set and the campus was quiet. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm my crowded mind. I had been sitting there like that for nearly an hour, when a familiar scent hit me. Any other time, that scent would be home to me, but at this moment, I tensed, afraid of what was coming.

_Ellie. Please don't leave. _Christopher paused, waiting for me to grant permission to him to come closer.

"Why should I stay? Are you going to talk to me now?" I said quietly, not opening my eyes, my hands balled up into fists.

_Please. I'm sorry. I never meant for this to get so out of hand. I love you, Ellie. I just want to talk._

"I wanted to talk before, and you told me I was being a jealous bitch. I don't think I want to talk anymore," I snapped bitterly. I couldn't take the spite out of my voice.

I heard him swallow a sob; he started to walk toward me. I considered walking away, but when I opened my eyes and saw his face, my heart broke. He dropped to his knees in front of me. "Please. Let me explain," he whispered.

I nodded curtly. He swallowed nervously. I met his gaze, the desolation in his eyes chipped away at my anger. I squeezed my eyes shut and looked away as he spoke.

"I was a professor here in the thirties," he said, showing me how the campus looked then, showing me himself. "I met Marilyn in 1935. She was a student, she was the last student I was ever...close to, until you. She was like you in a lot of ways. Brilliant, funny, not afraid to call me out on my bullshit," he said. I looked back at him skeptically and he gave me a crooked grin that fell when I didn't return a smile.

"I was struggling then, Ellie. I wanted to teach, I didn't want to be a monster in the shadows, but I fed on humans. It was very hard to balance. I hunted regularly, as far away as I could, but sometimes the close contact was...difficult."

He took a deep breath, and continued. "Marilyn was unusually bold. She was one of the few female students on the entire campus, and by far the most talented in the music department. I was drawn to her immediately, and she was clearly...interested, in me."

"Chris," I said in a rough whisper. "I never thought that you were a monk for god's sake. You could have told me this."

"Please," he said, holding up his hand. "Let me finish."

"We never slept together, or even came close. I didn't even think that was possible, and I thank god that I didn't, because you never would have been able to love me if I had done to _her_ what Sebastian did..." he trailed off for a moment, shaking his head sadly.

"But one night, we were alone, we were walking off campus toward my house. Based on what you said earlier, I take it you've done some research. I was known to have been the last person seen with her. It was stupid, careless. I had gone too long without hunting, and I lost control. She was dead before I could blink." He whispered that last sentence so quietly I could barely make out the words.

"I disappeared as well, and eventually the story was that we were both presumed dead. There were rumors for years, of course, but the school pushed the story that was less incriminating for its own appearances, conveniently enough. By now, most have forgotten the lore," he said, "except for Valerie."

I hissed. He again held up his hand, but I spoke. "Tell me something Christopher. Is your connection to Valerie about redemption? Or is it like having _her_ again?" I swallowed, unable to believe I was about to ask this question. "Do you want her?"

He hissed this time. "Eleanor. I swear to you I only want you. Forever. Even if Marilyn herself walked through those trees now I would never _ever_ want anyone but you." His voice broke as he said this. I could hear in his mind how angry he was with himself that he'd let even the slightest doubt into my mind.

The tears started to brim again; I looked down, trying to blink them away. He came closer, touching my face. "Ellie. Please look at me. I am so, so sorry. I love you and I will make this up to you, I swear."

He brushed my tears away, waiting for me to look up. "You are right of course that Valerie knows too much. I was blinded by curiosity at first, justifying my actions as being a good teacher. I don't know what to do about that now. I think perhaps I did think of it as some kind of redemption. Don't mistake me, I have killed many, many, people, but this one haunted me for a long time."

"What does she want, Chris?" I asked him. "I mean other than you."

"I don't know. I just want to be rid of her," he said.

"And on that we agree," I said. "None of this explains why you didn't just _tell_ me. Why you let me walk into that auditorium, as Ellie _Dawling_ for Christ's sake, without knowing any of this? Why you fought me when I wanted to enroll as a Cullen."

He shook his head and looked down. "I have no explanation for those things. Not one that will appease you, and for that I am sorry. I didn't want you to change your name back because you are mine, and I love that you share my name. It was stupid to get upset about that though. I didn't tell you about the auditorium or _any _of it, I think, because I think I looked at this whole experience as my redemption. I ran from this place because of what I did so many decades ago. This was a fresh start. I have no excuse though for why I didn't tell you this. I can only ask if one day you can forgive me. I am beyond sorry, to think I have hurt your faith in me, your trust, it kills me."

The tears returned. "Christopher, I love you. As angry and…hurt as I have been, I love you, and just want to go home and forget this happened. But you can't do this to me every time we go somewhere where you have a past."

He looked up, hopefully, and nodded. "Eleanor, as long as I live I swear I won't keep something like this -or _anything _for that matter - from you again." He put his hands on my shoulders, and I wanted to crush myself to him in that moment, missing his touch. "Do you think you can forgive me?" he whispered.

I nodded. "With strings," I said.

"Done. Anything," he said, smiling broadly now.

"We need to talk about the Valerie issue with my family. You can't have contact with her. This isn't jealously, Christopher. I mean, it is, but it's more than that. She's a threat and needs to be handled," I said firmly.

"I understand, Ellie," he said solemnly. "I would do anything for you."


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32. Solutions.

We walked to his car together, not touching. Every few seconds his hand would twitch as if to reach out to mine, but almost immediately it would snap back to his side. I wasn't sure how to act around him at this moment, but I could no longer silence the part of my brain that was yelling at me to take him straight home and never leave, Valerie Gilbert be damned. When we got to the car, he stopped short and pulled me to him. I sighed with relief and hugged him closer to me in response.

"I love you, Ellie. I swear to god, I love you so much it kills me to know how I've disappointed you," he said. I said nothing, burying my face in his chest. His phone rang and we separated quickly, tension again filling the space between us. It was Alice. As he spoke to her I remembered randomly that my phone was still in Bella's purse. I heard her tell him that they were waiting for us; there would be no delaying the Valerie issue tonight. We got in the car quietly.

"Hey Chris?" I didn't meet his eyes as he looked over at me.

He cleared his throat nervously. "Yeah?"

"I want to withdraw from Dartmouth. When all of this is taken care of." He let out a sigh, but I could hear in his thoughts that he wasn't surprised.

"Are you sure?"

"I am."

He sighed again. "I'm sorry. This is my fault. But I won't fight you," he said. "Do you want to do something else?"

"I don't know yet," I said honestly. We rode in silence to my parents' house, and with each mile it felt like the tension between us grew thicker. I hated this place, and this woman who had caused all of this. I hated this anger, and feeling awkward with my husband. I sighed, looking out the window.

"Ellie? What are you thinking?" Chris asked, shyly reaching out to touch my leg.

"How much I hate all of this. I don't like feeling this way Chris," I said bitterly.

"You're still angry," he said, not accusingly.

"I'm trying Christopher. On the one hand, I want to go home with you and never leave our room, but at the same time..." I trailed off. The air between us thinned ever so slightly, it felt good to let my thoughts breathe some, though I hated causing him pain.

He swallowed hard, and withdrew his hand. "I know. I will fix this," he said, his voice a hollow whisper. He parked in the driveway, and came around to open the door. He held out his hand, smiling slightly when I took it in mine. I stood there for a moment and touched his face. However angry I was, I knew that I was not whole without the man who stood before me, nor he without me. He leaned into my hand, inhaling my scent.

"Chris," I said softly, waiting for him to meet my eyes. "I love you. We will fix this." I reached my arms around his neck and pulled him toward me, uneasily at first, but when he pressed against me I relaxed into him. For a moment I forgot where we were, leaning my head against his chest and holding him tightly.

"We need to go in," he whispered, but I could hear how hesitant he was to let me go.

"Okay," I murmured. Everyone was waiting in the front room. Alice and Bella smiled at me encouragingly. Emmett glared at Chris. This surprised me; Emmett was usually so hard to ruffle.

"So what's this mess you've gotten into Chris?" he asked bluntly.

"Emmett," I started to caution my brother.

"No, Ellie," Chris said, interrupting me. "It's okay." He explained everything that he had just told me to my family. "I've been incredibly stupid, on so many levels. It was risky to spend time with this...student, knowing that she had made even a slight connection to my previous time here."

"Never mind how much you've put Ellie through, jackass," Emmett said.

"Emmett!" My mother scolded.

Christopher hung his head. "No, he's right about that too, and I don't think I can adequately express how sorry I am, to Ellie and to all of you. I hope you all can forgive me for that; I know I have a lot of work to do."

"Yeah you do," Emmett said. "Let's start with fixing this Valerie mess." Chris nodded. I felt claustrophobic as eight pairs of eyes shifted between us, analyzing the space between Christopher and me. I needed to think, but the thoughts in my head were making it impossible to concentrate.

"Listen, I need some air. I will be back," I said abruptly, turning to go back outside. I was aware of the spike in Christopher's anxiety as he watched me walk away from him for the third time today, and of another pair of footsteps behind me.

"Want to go for a run?" Bella asked as she appeared beside me.

"Yeah," I said, throwing a smile at her in thanks.

We ran for a while and I relished the peace, however temporary. Bella's mental silence was a relief. She nodded toward the scent of a herd of deer and took off. I followed, not that thirsty but happy for the distraction. When we were finished, we ran a few more miles before she slowed, taking a seat against a tree.

"How are you?" she asked, eyeing me as I sat.

I shrugged. "I don't know. Conflicted. I want to forget all of this happened. But I can't. I don't know how to act around him right now. One minute I want to scream at him, the next I want to jump him. It's awkward. I hate it."

"Yeah, I know how that feels," she said quietly. "It gets better, I promise. I can see it on his face how much he hates what he's done to you."

I fell back against the grass, covering my face with my hands as I started to vent my frustrations. "I'm just so angry," I fumed, sitting up again. "There was no reason for him to keep this stuff from me. None. At all. And _her_. Oh my god Bella. I had half a mind to rip her throat out in my living room."

She nodded. "Yeah. I'm not entirely sure how you didn't."

I shook my head. "Me either." I fidgeted with my wedding ring. "I'm worried, Bella. It's not like we can just disappear, not without at least knowing what _she _knows. And how she knows it. And we can't make her disappear either, that's too conspicuous given what happened with Marilyn. I mean I know Carlisle wouldn't ever approve of that, but I won't lie and say I haven't considered it."

She nodded. "I asked Edward about that, actually. Whether that was a possibility."

"Really?" I gaped at her.

She shrugged. "If it were him, I would be considering it too. But he said the same, too conspicuous given the history. And as you say, we don't know enough about what it is she really knows."

All of a sudden, I was feeling anxious, desperately missing my husband, and desperate for an answer that would keep him safe.

"Do you want to go back?" Bella asked, noticing the change in my body language.

"Yeah." We both got up and ran full speed back toward the house. "Bella? Thank you," I said as we ran.

"I didn't really do anything, but you're welcome," she said, smiling at me.

I relaxed in spite of myself when I saw him standing in the backyard, waiting for me. He held his arms out as I ran toward him, and I didn't stop until I crashed into him and he wrapped me up in a tight embrace. He lifted me up so that my face was even with his and kissed me, hard. I kissed him back, my fingers tangled in his hair. He pulled away, inhaling sharply, leaning his forehead against mine.

"Listen. Jazz has an idea," he said. "Or rather, a theory. We haven't figured out an exact plan. You won't like it, but I can't think of another way out of this."

"Okay," I said, trying to collect my thoughts. I was struggling to organize my conflicting emotions - anger, desire, and fear - all at war inside my mind. "Tell me."

He showed me the conversation that took place while Bella and I were gone. I watched in my mind how Jasper laid out his theory. I gasped, my hand flying to my mouth, as I understood what they wanted me to do.

"I don't think I can do that," I whispered, shaking my head. Jasper figured that since I could project thoughts without physical contact, thanks to the ability that I had inherited from Sebastian, that I could probably take it further, manipulating minds like he did. He wanted me to manipulate Valerie's mind into leaving, and forgetting about Christopher Dawling.

"I think you can," Christopher said. "Remember when you first realized you could transfer thoughts at all? You just decided to do it and it worked. Just like that." He smiled slightly, trying to encourage me. When my face remained skeptical, he backtracked. "But I understand if it's not something you are willing to do, we can find another way."

"Another way how?" I mumbled, running my hands through my hair, looking back at Bella, and thinking back to our conversation. I shook my head. "Look, Chris, when I did that, I didn't even know it worked. Even if I _could_ do what Sebastian could," I swallowed; the idea repulsed me so much I felt nauseated, "I have no idea _how_. I wouldn't be able to control it."

Jasper walked outside and stood beside Christopher. "Ellie, I think you can do it."

I glared at him, and then at the ground, gritting my teeth. "I don't know how." I enunciated each word with precision.

"Try," Jasper said calmly. "With me, now. Make me think I see something I don't. Or, make me think I can't see something that I can."

I opened my mouth to protest, but when I looked up, all I saw was Christopher, nodding slightly. For one fraction of a second, I couldn't doubt the unwavering faith in his eyes. I sucked in a breath and turned my focus to Jasper. I wasn't sure what I was doing, but I closed my eyes, letting myself see through his mind. I could see myself in front of him, he watched me curiously, analyzing my actions and my mood. He was surprised by my sudden burst of confidence.

I remembered when Bella was learning about her shield, she was able to manipulate better after she could visualize its shape in her mind, and understand how it moved. I concentrated on what I could see through Jasper's eyes, trying to ignore the rest of his thoughts. I wasn't sure exactly what to do, but I envisioned empty space in place of where I was standing. Nothing happened for several seconds, but suddenly, I saw myself through Jasper disappear. I held it for as long as I could, but Edward's gasp as he registered what was happening made me lose my focus just enough that I lost control and Jasper's visual perception returned to normal.

I opened my eyes and bent over, my hands on my knees as I struggled to catch my breath. I hadn't realized how much energy I had exerted.

"Ellie," Edward spoke. "That was amazing."

I looked up. "You saw it?" He nodded and I looked at Jasper, who hadn't said anything, he actually looked a little dazed. "Jasper, what did it look like to you?"

"I saw you flicker. For the briefest fraction of a second you were _gone_."

I heard several gasps from inside and outside alike. I stood up again, having caught my breath. I looked around the yard and saw the rest of my siblings, along with my parents, filing out into the yard. As the night wore on, I practiced more on my family members, powering through my mental exhaustion to better understand my ability. After several hours however, Christopher insisted that we stop, and dragged me to one of my parents' guest rooms to sleep. He held me close to him, and I could feel the uncomfortable space between us shrinking as sleep overcame me.

The next morning, I threw myself back into my practice. My family worked with me day and night through the weekend and we discovered that I was able to change their awareness of who was in the room, what was said, almost like I was tampering with their memories. It was still hard to control though, and I wasn't comfortable with the idea of trying it on a human. Even if that human was Valerie.

"We could wake Jake up," Edward suggested late Sunday night. I laughed darkly.

"I'm sure he would love that," I said, rolling my eyes. "Listen, when we do this, what exactly is the plan?" I was growing more anxious with every passing hour, when Monday arrived we had to resume our normal routines until the time came to act. We still had not figured out a plan.

My question triggered a vision in Alice's mind, which took me by surprise; I didn't think I had decided anything. I watched it play out in horror. She saw me, alone with Valerie. As I tried to manipulate her mind and erase Christopher from her memory, she goaded me, telling me how she wanted my husband, and how he would want her as well. I had her by the throat then. I shut my eyes, trying to force the vision out of my mind as I watched my teeth sink into her neck.

"Alice! Stop, please!" I pleaded with my sister, though I knew she couldn't control it. All of a sudden the images were gone, my mind silent. I breathed a sigh of relief, "Thank you Bella," I said. Chris pulled me to him, not understanding what had just happened.

"Alice, what the hell is going on?" he said.

"I can't do it Chris. I can't," I said, sobbing. "I will kill her, that's what she saw."

"What?" Carlisle said, alarmed. "Alice?"

Alice nodded, still with a dazed expression. "I can't see another outcome. Even now, as she says she can't do it. Ellie?"

I looked up at my sister. "You want to," she said.

"No, I don't, I don't!" I said, waving my hands out in front of me.

She shook her head. "I think part of you does. It's understandable, you know. She's a threat."

"Alice," Carlisle said, rubbing his forehead anxiously, trying to understand. "What exactly did you see?"

"Ellie, with Valerie. Ellie was concentrating on Valerie's mind, but Valerie was goading her, telling her things that Valerie knew would get a rise out of her. I imagine her thoughts were pretty brutal, but I obviously couldn't hear them in the vision. It looked like before Ellie could get a handle on manipulating Valerie's mind, she just lost it." I cringed against my husband, who was as still as a statue now.

"Why is Ellie alone in that vision? I would never suggest that she do this alone," Carlisle pressed, his eyes creasing with concern. Alice closed her eyes, scanning the future. I was glad Bella was still shielding me.

Alice shook her head slowly. "It's not clear, we haven't decided on enough details yet, I'm not sure _how _it gets to that point."

"So let's figure out the details," Jasper said, uncrossing his arms to put a hand on Alice's shoulder. "We need to figure out when and how to make this happen."

"Should we bring her here?" my mother mused. "If we're all present we could keep it from escalating..."

"No way. What if it doesn't work?" I replied, shaking off Christopher's tightened hold and pacing the room. "She already knows too much, and we don't even have a handle on how much that is, really. If we bring her _here _and I screw up you're all implicated."

Jasper nodded his agreement. "I agree. It can't be here." He looked at me. "I do think you can do this, but you're right. It's risky if it doesn't work."

I nodded grimly, starting to panic about being on campus tomorrow. What if I ran into Valerie, what if that's what Alice saw?

"You won't be alone tomorrow Ellie," Edward said, having heard my concerns. "Don't worry about that."

Christopher was staring at me, I could hear his worries multiplying as he watched me. He grabbed my hand. _Come on, _he thought. _Let's take a break_. We ran out the backdoor, not looking back for several minutes. He stopped, whirling around to catch me and covering my mouth with his before taking us both down to the ground. My breath caught as I looked into his eyes, and suddenly the anxiety that had been driving distance between us evaporated in an instant. His eyes were black, but not with thirst.

I groaned loudly as he dragged his hand roughly between my legs, before pulling my shirt and jeans off. I yanked his shirt over his head, needing to feel his skin against mine; he removed his jeans as well and collapsed on top of me, thrusting into me hard. This was not gentle lovemaking, nor was it even simply make-up sex. We both needed this connection, needed the focus on each other. Suddenly I knew I could handle whatever I would face in dealing with our present threat, and that he was the reason. _We_ were the reason; our bond would keep me centered. As I moved against my husband, bolstered by my epiphany, I felt stronger, assured.

I pushed against him to roll us over, and he complied. "Oh fuck, Chris," I moaned as I bucked my hips against him, sitting up over him and throwing my head back. I rode him hard, not able to control my movements, the feeling of our bodies moving together and the realization that had just hit me sending me hurtling toward a blinding climax. My mind found his and I saw myself through his eyes. He was in awe of the sight before him. I looked down at him for a moment; his mouth was slack watching me.

"Oh god," he muttered. "You are amazing." I rode him harder, leaning over him now, my hair falling down around him. His fingers tangled in my hair and pulled my face to his. I moaned as his mouth met mine and his hips slammed against me as his own orgasm began to overtake him. We came together, our cries echoing through the forest. "I need more, Ellie," he grunted. Hard again immediately, he turned me over so that I was on my knees and pushed into me from behind.

I whimpered as he thrust into me hard again and again, and his fingers reached around to my clit. I moved back against him, putting one hand over his. I rubbed hard against his hand, coming several times until he finally started to pulse inside me, roaring as he came.

He lay back on the ground, and pulled me down on his chest. His chin rested on my head, both of us out of breath.

"We need to get back before we start again. I don't think I will be able to stop," I gasped.

He chuckled darkly. "I know the feeling. Listen, Ellie. You don't have to do this." I sat up and looked at him. I could see he was worried, for me, not for her. "Let me be clear, my only concern here is you," he added, confirming my observation.

"I can do this Christopher. I don't know how to explain it, but, back there," I nodded toward where we started, "it all made sense. I have you, us. This," I motioned to the space between us," what we have, is my center, my focus. With that I know I can do this."

He smiled, and sat up to kiss me. "I love you Ellie. No matter what happens, I love you. And when all this is done, I will make it up to you." He stood, dressing quickly, and held out his hand to help me up. I stood and dressed and turned to walk back toward the house, but he picked me up. "Do you mind? I feel like I need to be touching you." I smiled at him.

"Of course I don't mind, you silly man," I said, laying my head against him.

"I am your silly man," he said, taking off toward the house.

When we walked in, everyone watched us closely. "Ellie," my father spoke first. He was still concerned about what Alice saw.

"Daddy, wait. Before you start. I can do this. It won't be like Alice saw, I'm sure of it. Christopher...helped me focus," I said.

"Is that what they're calling it now?" Emmett said from the other room.

"Shut up, Emmett," I said. I turned back to my father, waiting for him to speak.

"If you're sure. We're all here, we won't let it end that way, Ellie," he said firmly.

"Ellie, are you sure you can handle this? Maybe there's another way," my mother added worry creasing her eyes.

"Mom, Dad, I don't want to hurt her. I won't do it, I swear."

Daddy's eyes softened, and he nodded. "I believe you, honey. I didn't mean for that to sound like an accusation." _I'm glad you two are working things out,_ he added mentally.

I smiled at him. "Thank you Daddy." My mother came over to hug me, and I hugged her back. We went back to the living room and sat down. I watched Jasper pace, thinking about how best to put my skills to use.

"Wait a second, Jasper," I said. "Shouldn't we be trying to figure out more about what exactly Valerie knows and how she knows it?" He looked at me curiously. "I know she says her grandmother told her about the, um, disappearance," I saw Chris wince as I said this. "But that doesn't explain how she is so careful around me, and Edward. Even he thinks she's hard to read. She should have slipped by now, especially in the midst of our little confrontation the other day."

"That's a good point, Ellie," Carlisle said, glad for anything that might delay the confrontation.

Jasper nodded, thinking it through. "You think someone planted the idea in her head?"

"I don't know," I said honestly. "It just seems like there has to be something driving this. But even if there's not, shouldn't we at least make sure?"

"How do you propose we do that?" Jasper asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know."

Christopher sighed, looking only at me as he spoke. "What if I met with her? She said she wanted to talk more this week." He paused, gauging my reaction. I worked to keep my face expressionless. "I know what you said before, Ellie, about no contact. But I could ask her...leading questions, I guess. About Marilyn. See if she would open up some."

"That could work," Jasper said carefully, also measuring my reaction.

I inhaled, holding my breath for a moment before I spoke. "Do it," I said. "Text her now. I'm sure she will love that." Chris cringed as he pulled out his phone, scrolling through his recent calls.

It only took a moment for her to reply. Their meeting was set for 10 am the next morning. I had class then with Edward, and between the two of us we would be able to catch every word, and hopefully find something useful in Valerie's thoughts. I was suddenly exhausted. I met Christopher's gaze and he stood without a word, following me back to the bedroom.

The next morning, we rode to campus together. Edward, Bella and Nessie drove separately. I struggled to find my earlier courage as we silently drew closer to school. After he parked the car, he cut the engine and threw his arm over the steering wheel, dropping his forehead against it.

"I don't like this," I heard him mumble.

"I don't either, really, but what else are we going to do. We can't screw with her memories until we know what she knows," I said. If there was anything I was sure of, it was that.

He sighed and picked his head up. "You're right of course. And I know I need to do my part to fix this mess but...Ellie. This meeting today-"

I cut him off. "I know Chris. You're going to have to lead her on. She needs to think she's gotten to you."

His face was stricken; he reached out and took my hands. "It was _never_ like that for me. Not for one single second, you know that right?" My breath caught, I was mesmerized by the burning intensity in his eyes.

"I know that," I said gently. "Believe me, that is one of the only things I am completely sure of right now." I kissed his cheek, lingering for a moment to inhale his scent and my heart rate sped up as it filled my head. "I love you and we will get through this together."

He relaxed back against his seat, his hand over his eyes. "Okay. I guess I have a meeting to get to." I saw Edward walking toward us then, he opened my door for me.

"You ready for this?" he asked. We weren't planning on cornering Valerie today, we all thought I needed more practice, but everyone was a little concerned that I would react badly to whatever happened at the meeting today. Chris hadn't decided how to handle it yet, so Alice couldn't see the outcome. Despite this, I squared my shoulders and nodded confidently.

"Bring it on."


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33. Breaking Point

When we arrived at the Music Department building, Christopher veered off toward his office. _I love you Ellie_, he thought as he walked. I paused, watching him walk away, fighting the urge to burst into tears. My mind raged with doubt.

"Ellie," Edward said in a low voice, standing beside me. "We need to get to class. It will be fine." I nodded absently as he took my elbow and steered me toward the hall that was emblazoned with my name.

I slumped in my seat beside my brother. We were early, intentionally. We all wanted to be in place before Valerie arrived so Edward and I could get a read on her mindset before she saw Chris. I fidgeted anxiously, drumming my fingers against the fold-down desk attached to my chair. Edward shot me a look with his eyebrow raised.

"A little anxious are we?" he asked, trying to keep his tone light.

"Wouldn't you be?" I shot back.

He hissed under his breath. "Touché." His expression darkened. "She's coming."

I closed my eyes, listening carefully. _I hear her now_, I thought. The excitement was rolling off of her as she walked quickly into the building, her mind trained on getting to Christopher's office. She also wanted to be a few minutes early to maximize her time with Christopher.

"This was a bad idea," I whispered.

"It was _your_ idea," Edward answered me. "Dr. Carter is coming too." He nodded toward the side door toward the front of the lecture hall. I grumbled as I pulled my notebook from my bag.

As Dr. Carter called the class to order, I shifted my focus to Christopher and Valerie. She was seated outside of his office and her thoughts were smug. I thought briefly of how I could wipe that self-satisfied grin from her face. Edward elbowed me. Christopher rose from his desk, taking a deep breath to steel himself for his contrived encounter with Valerie and opened the door. He stood with his arm extended, inviting her to come in. She rose from her seat and passed by him, brushing him as she passed. I bit my tongue to keep from hissing.

He sat down at his desk, and I could see him fix a seemingly friendly expression on his face through Valerie's mind. I knew that smile, however. It was not the smile that brightened his entire face whenever he noticed me in the room. I reminded myself of that several times to keep from bursting from my seat.

_"I'm so glad you asked me to meet you, Christopher," she said, leaning over his desk from her seat, an alluring smile on her face. "I was sorry to have to leave so soon the other day."_

I fumed.

_Christopher cleared his throat. "I'm sorry about that, Valerie. That was my fault; I never should have agreed to meet at my home. My wife…she doesn't understand." __I love you Ellie_, he added in his thoughts._ "I am glad you are here, however. I am very curious to know more about your…history."_

_Valerie beamed. I bet you do, she thought. "It's such a coincidence," she said slowly. "I mean, here we are, after all this time," she said softly. "I knew there would be a connection." _

I saw through Christopher's mind how she bit her lip; he was struggling to keep up the act, which appeased me slightly.

_I love you Ellie_, Christopher thought again. He cleared his thought before he responded.

_"I'm curious," he said, flashing his brightest smile at her now._

I bit _my_ lip to contain a growl; that was _my_ smile_. _

_"What exactly do you know about me, Valerie?" _

He was very good, I realized then. She was immediately flustered by how quickly he dropped the pretense. I shifted my focus to peer more closely into her mind, focusing inward rather than watching Chris through her. She was quiet for several seconds, framing her answer. In that time, I saw exactly what we were looking for.

A memory flashed through her consciousness, she was lying in the arms of a man. The man looked like Sebastian. I tried to suppress a gasp with a cough, earning a disdainful glare from Dr. Carter, as I got a look at her companion. I watched through her mind's eye as he stroked her face and told her what he was, a half-human, half-vampire hybrid. He told her about his father, killed by his own daughter and her adopted family of vampires.

I felt Edward's hand clap down on my wrist; I hadn't realized I was starting to stand. I sat down quickly, but not before Dr. Carter noticed me.

"Ms. Dawling," he snarled. "Is there a problem?"

"No sir," I answered in a shaky whisper.

_Edward! _I called to my brother silently.

_I know,_ he thought. He had seen the memories as well of course. Only a few seconds had passed and I could hear Valerie finally beginning to answer Christopher's question. I struggled to maintain my calm and remain in my seat.

_"Well, Christopher," she said softly, leaning forward. "I know everything."_

_He raised an eyebrow, playing along. "And just what exactly is everything?" he asked in a deep voice, drawing her in. _I could see the leer in his stare; he looked like a vampire, like a predator._ "Do you know what I am?"_

I could hear in her mind how this stunned her; she didn't expect him to give it up so easily. She was pleased with herself.

_"Yes," she answered simply. _

_"Then surely you know how dangerous our little meetings could be?" He sat back in his chair again. _

_"It won't be for much longer," she said smiling. "Jonathan promised me immortality in exchange for my help."_

_"And how exactly are you helping him?" _I could see Christopher's facade beginning to crack, luckily Valerie, exceedingly overconfident now, could not.

_"He has some unfinished business with your family. Your wife," she spat, "is the reason for Jonathan's father's death."_

_Christopher hesitated for only half a beat and then pressed on. __"What does that have to do with you?"_

_She shrugged. "Nothing really. He stumbled onto our connection while doing some digging into your past." She was bored of this line of questions. She was no more interested in this Jonathan than he was in her. "He convinced me to come here, he was sure that I could provide a useful distraction."_

I didn't want to hear anymore. I couldn't stand to listen to Christopher playing along so calmly, even though I knew he was struggling against the urge to shut her up permanently.

"What exactly do you think he wants with you?" Edward whispered. I shrugged. "If he's really Sebastian's son..." he looked over at me.

"Then he's my half-brother. And apparently not to fond of me." I shook my head with a dark laugh, returning my attention to Chris and Valerie. My mouth dropped open as I watched through his eyes now; she walked around the desk to him and was drawing a finger along his face. She moved lower, but before she could touch his neck he caught her frail human wrist in his hand.

_"I don't think that's such a good idea," he murmured. _I could hear the implicit threat in his voice._ She grinned, her face closer to his._

I was out of my seat and storming out of the hall before Edward could stop me.

"Ellie!" he yelled to me as he sprinted down the hallway to me. _He's fine. We should get back to class. _

"Fuck class, Edward. I'm done with this experiment. This ends now."

I turned on my heel and flew up the fire stairs to the third floor of the building, where Christopher's office was. I knew he heard Edward and me; he was relieved that he wouldn't have to keep this up much longer. Edward was on my heels. I could hear him whispering into his phone, Jasper and Emmett were on their way. I could see Bella standing at the top of the stairs, waiting for us. Edward smiled grimly at her.

"Did Alice fill you in?" he asked her.

She nodded and then looked at me. "Ellie, are you sure?"

"Yes," I said, my voice hard. I stepped around my sister and put my hand on the door to Christopher's office. Chris heard me, and put his hands on Valerie's arms, restraining her. She was excited now, having misunderstood the intent behind this action, I realized. I took a deep breath and walked in. I smiled at Christopher to reassure him before turning to glare threateningly at Valerie.

"Ellie," she said, straightening up, trying to pull free from his grip. "Shouldn't you be in class?"

"Shouldn't you?" I asked. "Enough of this bullshit Valerie."

She looked back at Chris who was now glaring at her; he looked murderous. She shrank back from him, frightened now.

"You set me up," she said to him, her voice shaking.

"Did you really think you could convince me to leave my wife, let alone allow someone else to _hurt _her?" he sneered, his hands still on her arms. She winced; he was hurting her.

"Chris," I said softly, placing my hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, I'm fine." He let go, putting one of his hands on mine. Valerie started to back away, smacking into Bella, who blocked her path.

"Just a moment, Valerie," I said. "We can't let you leave yet."

She looked around the room. Emmett and Jasper were standing in the doorway now. Her eyes widened as she took in the sight of the five angry vampires crowding Christopher's office.

"Please," she whispered.

"We won't hurt you, I promise," I said. I hoped that I would be able to keep that promise. "But you know too much. Sit down," I commanded. She sat in the chair I pointed to.

I sat down across from her, and Jasper came to stand nearby.

_Jazz,_ I thought. _Can you make her cooperate? _He nodded. I closed my eyes and probed back into Valerie's mind. I had gotten a clear look before, so I expected that I would be able to alter her memories enough as long as she consented to think of what I needed.

"Valerie," I said her name gently. "Tell me about Jonathan." Her mind automatically brought up images and memories of my apparent half-brother. "What does he want?"

"He wants you. He wants to punish you for killing his father," she answered. Jasper was helping; I could feel him tempering her mood so that she was inclined to answer truthfully. I smiled at him in thanks. "Punish me how?"

"He didn't say, but he used me to disrupt your relationship with Christopher. He promised to make me immortal, and that Christopher would want me when I was like him and you were out of the way."

"It doesn't work like that, little girl," I hissed. Her eyes refocused for a moment, glaring at me. I ignored this and pressed on. "Where is Jonathan?"

She shrugged. Jasper's hand clapped down on her shoulder.

"Answer her," he ordered.

"He's here. He's probably in the building. He watches me, makes sure I do what he wants. I'm sure he knows you have me now."

Emmett and Bella took off immediately, searching the building. Valerie laughed. "They won't find him," she said smugly. I stared at her; I was amazed at how controlled her thoughts were, despite the manipulations by both Jasper and me. I wondered idly if Jonathan had the ability to manipulate minds as well, Valerie was thoroughly untroubled by the precarious situation she was in and the fact that he had all but abandoned her.

"Well that's too bad for you then," I snarled as I shook off this thought. "Let's talk about Marilyn, now." With Jasper's help, I got Valerie to recall what she knew. Slowly, I peeled back at each detail, deconstructing and adding layers of distance, confusion. As I reformed her thoughts, I reshaped it so that she knew that Marilyn and her professor had perished together in a car crash. Their bodies were discovered days after their disappearance.

Edward questioned her and agreed that my efforts were successful so far. It was time to move on to what she knew of the new Professor Dawling. "What do you want from Christopher?" I asked her, bracing myself. I felt Christopher's hands on my shoulders, both supportive and restraining.

Her smug smile returned. She imagined herself in his arms, his lips on hers, and his hands on her body. Even now she believed this was inevitable. She imagined them, limbs entangled, lying beside the piano in our house. I let out an angry hiss and Christopher squeezed my shoulders, guessing what I was seeing, or close enough.

_That never happened Ellie, whatever it is you see; it's in her head. It's not real. _

I took a deep breath, settling back down to complete my work here. I wanted to be rid of this vile human. I again dissected her thoughts, rebuilding them. She was simply a student of Dr. Dawling's, but she was overwhelmed with her courses at Dartmouth. She planned to drop out and return home. She would not recall her obsession with my husband.

Edward was in the midst of interrogating her, verifying that her thoughts were sufficiently altered, when Emmett and Bella returned. Jonathan had indeed escaped their detection.

"Sorry Ellie," Emmett said. "We'll get him when he comes out of hiding though."

I smiled at my brother. "Thanks, Em," I said. I could feel Chris trembling beside me, fury rolling off of him.

"We can't just let him get away," he fumed. "What if he decides to come after you directly next time?"

I looked up at him, as I rose from my seat. "It will be okay. If he's that angry about Sebastian, he will make himself known soon enough."

He sighed, giving me a pained look before turning his gaze back to Valerie, who was sitting quietly. "Are we done here?"

"I think so. What do we do with her now?" I replied.

Jasper picked her up, looking at Emmett. "We will take her back to her place. You did good, Ellie."

I nodded, leaning against Christopher. I was tired now. "Come on," he whispered in my ear. "Let's get back, I'm sure your parents are worried. There's no more we can do today."

I let him lead me back to his car, Edward and Bella following behind us. Edward was scanning carefully to be sure that Jonathan really had left the area, if he'd really been here at all. He didn't hear anything suspicious and relaxed slightly as we got to the car. Emmett and Jasper were taking Valerie in Edward's car so he and Bella rode with us. I leaned back against the seat and closed my eyes. I was too keyed up to fall asleep, despite my exhaustion, so instead I thought through everything that had happened today.

"Your control was quite impressive," Edward said quietly to me. "Alice saw that, you know. She sent me a text as soon as you bolted from class."

"Really?" I asked, forcing my suddenly leaden muscles to let me turn to face my brother. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I wouldn't have let you go in otherwise though."

I looked at Christopher, his eyes were tense, and his thoughts were focused on the threat that remained. "Chris," I said. "Don't worry about him. We will figure that out." He exhaled, relaxing as I reached out to touch his arm.

An hour later, we sat quietly surrounded by the rest of the family. Alice had told them as much as she knew, but we filled in the details as soon as we had arrived. My father looked at me, smiling.

"I'm proud of you Ellie, it must have been difficult to keep so calm," he said, looking genuinely impressed.

"It really was amazing to watch," Bella added.

"She _is_ amazing," Christopher interjected, hugging me tighter and kissing my neck. I closed my eyes and sighed, almost forgetting where we were for a moment.

Jasper and Emmett had returned, and Alice could see that Valerie would follow through with the idea I put in her head. She would drop out and leave New Hampshire.

"Mind control," Jasper said, looking at me. "What I bet Aro wouldn't give for that." I shuddered and Chris growled.

"I doubt that's something we have to worry about right now," Carlisle said, holding his hand out. "We should, however, consider the possibility that this Jonathan will make another, less subtle appearance in the near future."

Chris nodded at this. "Ellie shouldn't be left alone," he said firmly.

"I agree," my father added. Several other heads nodded around the room. I sighed and looked over at Alice, raising an eyebrow.

She closed her eyes, scanning to future. "I don't see anything, not now anyway."

"You didn't see him before, either," Chris snapped.

"Honey," I admonished. "He had Valerie doing all the interference, she wouldn't have seen him."

The pained look returned to Christopher's face, this time it was tinged with exasperation. He put both hands on my arms. "I mean it Ellie. Someone has to be with you. _Please_."

I looked at him for a long moment. "Okay," I whispered. The pain in his eyes tore at my stomach. He kissed my forehead in thanks.

_Let's get out of here_, Christopher thought, nudging me toward the door. I was so tired now that I could barely stand without his support. When I didn't move immediately he picked me up. "Better?" he asked me.

I nodded, yawning and laying my head against him. He looked up at my family members. "Later guys," he said and headed for the door, setting me in the car carefully. He got in the driver's side and looked at me. "You really were amazing today, Ellie. Thank you for what you did there, and thank you for giving me another chance," he said.

"I love you," I mumbled to him, dozing as my head leaned against the window. He chuckled and placed a quick kiss on my head.

"Love you too, baby," he whispered. When we got back to the house, I felt him carry me out of the car and into the house, up to our room. He pulled the comforter back and laid me down on the bed, moving to cover me up. "Wait," I murmured sleepily, reaching up for him, grabbing onto his shirt.

He put his hand on mine, and climbed in next to me. "Shh, baby, I'm right here. Go to sleep," he whispered.

"No," I said, forcing my eyes open. "No sleep." He leaned over me, brushing my hair out of my eyes, smiling.

"You cannot be serious, you are exhausted," he said, cocking his eyebrow.

"No sleep," I said again, clearer this time. He kissed me, needing no additional convincing to agree to my request.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34. Boston.

I was dreaming, I thought, but I wasn't sure. We were on the rock on Esme's Island, lying together under the blaring sun. A phone was ringing. I couldn't understand why Chris had a phone with him, and I was irritated that he wasn't answering it. My eyes opened then, and I realized that I was home, in our bed.

"Afternoon sleepyhead," Christopher whispered to me.

"The phone? Why didn't you answer it?" I asked him, my voice still thick with sleep.

"I preferred to lie here and watch you sleep. You looked like you were having a pretty amazing dream," he said with a wink.

"I was. We were together on that rock on the island."

"Ah," he said, kissing my neck and slipping his hand under the sheet, placing it on my bare stomach. "That must have been a _very_ good dream then."

"Not as good as this," I said, moving to my side to face him, my hands running over his chest and shoulders. He rolled us over so that I was lying on top of him, and pushed into me slowly. I gasped, and rocked my hips against him, lying with my chest pressed to his and my hands in his hair. We kissed slowly, in sync with our bodies' movements together. He wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him, and rubbing my ass with his other hand. We came together, but I didn't move off of him. I kept moving as my climax subsided, and we continued like that for hours, not breaking our connection, and our mouths parting only to breathe or mumble deliriously.

When I woke up again, I was lying across him, his arms around my waist. I kissed along his collarbone and neck, along his jaw and back to his lips. He groaned and rolled on top of me, entering me again, thrusting more urgently this time. I moaned as he groped at one of my breasts, taking the other in his mouth.

"Oh fuck, yes," I said, leaning my head back into the pillow as he sucked my nipple through his teeth, rolling the other between his thumb and forefinger. He exploded in me quickly and my orgasm hit me as I watched him lose control over me. He pulled out of me quickly, moving his mouth down my body. I cried out as his tongue was suddenly assaulting my clit, my hips jolting toward his face involuntarily as a result. My head thrashed wildly as he drove his fingers into me and I came over and over again with his mouth on me. I begged him to let me return the favor but he stubbornly refused, until finally he gave in, flipping himself so that his cock was over my mouth and I happily took him in.

Some time after that, sleep took me again. My body had clearly lost all concept of time. I opened my eyes, feeling more awake now than I had in hours, or possibly days; I really didn't know how long we had been in bed. I stretched, which felt good to my muscles; they were stiff from our extensive activities.

When I sat up I saw Christopher sitting up next to me, his laptop perched on his thighs. He looked over, smiled and kissed me. "Hi there," he said in a sultry voice.

"Mmm, hi," I said. I admired him for a minute while he worked. "God you're hot," I said, grinning.

He laughed. "I'm glad you approve." I sighed contentedly at the sound of his soft laughter. All of the tension between us had melted away, even the fear of my half-brother seemed far away and insignificant.

"What are you working on?" I asked him, peeking over his arm.

Chris hesitated. "My letter of resignation. And before you protest," he said, putting a finger to my lips. "Hear me out. I don't want to be there anymore. I went back for the wrong reasons, and it almost cost me everything that I care about. I am going to take a break from teaching for a while, I think."

I nodded, his finger still on my lips. "May I speak now?" He pulled his hand away. "I love you, and I support you. When you're done with that, I need to complete the withdrawal from my program as well."

"Done," he said, handing me the laptop. "I just need to go over later and deliver it in person."

I clicked through the website finding what I needed to formally withdraw. "Can I come with you? I need to take this to the Registrar's office. What day is it by the way?"

He laughed. "It's Thursday morning."

I squinted, trying to think back over the last few days. I didn't remember much other than he and I together. "So how long were we...?"

"Two and a half days or so? I was worried a couple times that you were jumping me in your sleep. I was afraid you wouldn't remember all of that," he said with a chuckle.

"Oh I remember it alright," I said lying back against my pillow. "Do we really have to get up?"

"Only to finish with this nonsense," he said, gesturing to the computer. "Listen, while you were sleeping, I was thinking about some things."

"What things?" I said cautiously.

"Nothing bad," he said, smiling gently. "It's just that all the talk these last few days about my...past, made me realize that I haven't really shown you my past, or not much of it. I mean, we've been together almost eight years and I've not once taken you to Boston. I thought maybe we could go away somewhere together, to regroup, and then it occurred to me that maybe we could just go to Boston now. I have a house there, and I could give you a _much_ more detailed historical tour than anyone else there, if you'd like," he winked and looked seriously at me, gauging my reaction.

I smiled at him and he relaxed immediately. "Christopher, I love that idea."

A wide grin spread across his face. "You _do_?" he asked excitedly. "I honestly wasn't sure, I thought maybe I should suggest something else, but..."

"No! I love it, I do. I _want_ to know your past, sweetie. All of it. The good, the bad, _all_ of it," I said. "I get so wrapped up in you, as you are here with me _now_. But I want to know everything that brought you to me."

He kissed me once, wrapping me in a hug. "I love you," he said. "I do not deserve you."

"You are ridiculous," I said, kissing his cheek as he held me. "Come on, I want to shower before we rid ourselves of Dartmouth."

"Let's go then!" he said, carrying me again, this time to the bathroom.

"I can walk Christopher!" I said, laughing.

"But I can't let you go. You see my dilemma," he murmured with a grin. He turned the water on, and put me down in the shower, but he was touching me at all times as we washed each other, our progress interrupted as we were repeatedly distracted by our hands on each other. When the water started to run cold, we rinsed and turned the faucet off. We dried and dressed quickly, in a hurry to be done with this part of our lives. We rode to campus together; Christopher walked me to the Registrar's office to turn in my withdrawal paperwork. I didn't expect it to take long, and when we finished we would go back to the Music Department building so he could tender his resignation and then pack his belongings.

We were waiting for the receptionist to call me when Valerie walked in, holding the same form as I was. I held my breath as I waited for her to notice us.

"Ms. Dawling?" The receptionist called me then and I stepped up to hand her my paperwork. As I turned to leave, Valerie looked at me, and then at Christopher.

"Hi Ellie," she said dully. "Hi Professor."

"Hello," we said together, and hurried out of the office. She went back to thinking about her plans to leave, nothing about me or Christopher, or anything that had happened a few days before. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"What was she thinking?" Chris asked as we hurried across the campus.

"Nothing. Nothing about us I mean," I said gleefully. "She was thinking about her withdrawal, and moving home. I think it worked."

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to him. _Of course it worked,_ he thought. When we got to Dr. Carter's office, Chris hesitated, realizing that he was already going to have to go back on his word to not leave me alone until we knew for sure that Jonathan was no longer a risk.

"Chris, I will be fine," I assured him, taking a seat outside of the office. He walked in, hoping to make this quick. He asked the assistant if Dr. Carter was in, and I heard him walk into his office and close the door. It only took a moment before I heard Dr. Carter's raised voice; he was reading Christopher the riot act. He ranted for several minutes, and Christopher apologized profusely for leaving the position so suddenly. Eventually he ran out of steam and stormed out ahead of Christopher, glaring at me as he passed.

"Good luck to you, _Mrs._ Dawling," he said bitterly.

Christopher walked out slowly, and I stood to hug him. He hugged me back, kissing my forehead.

"Hey baby, sorry you heard that." We turned to walk to Christopher's office so he could pack his belongings.

"It's okay. I'm so sorry he yelled at you. I'm sorry you are leaving another job for _me_."

"Honey, don't do that. I'm not leaving this job for just you; it's for _us_, and for me. It's not right for either of us here. I'm not sad to see this place go," he said, holding me tightly as we walked.

"I know, I know," I said. "So when do you want to leave for Boston?"

"How's ten minutes ago?" he said, grinning.

"Sounds good!" I said. We reached his office and he packed his things quickly.

"Actually," he said slowly. "I called Alice while you were sleeping earlier. She was the one that had been trying to call before. Nothing's wrong, she just wanted to check on you. I told her about our trip and mentioned that we might stop by when we were finished here. Is that okay?"

"Yes, that's a good idea. Let's go put in our appearance and then get the hell out of here," I said, reaching up to kiss him.

"I love your enthusiasm," he said laughing, picking up a box of random things from his office. He held it under one arm and draped his other arm around my shoulders. "Let's go."

* * *

Our visit with the family was quick, long enough for them to be reassured that we were fine, and that our efforts paid off - I told them about the Valerie sighting earlier. We went for a quick hunt and then rushed back to our house to pack for our impromptu trip. As he drove, he called the caretakers for the Boston house, letting them know that we would be there later that afternoon and to make sure that the house was in order.

We packed quickly, and something occurred to me. "Hey babe?" I said.

"Yeah?"

"When was the last time you actually lived there?"

"Um, about 30 years ago I think, why?"

"Do you still have your old clothes and stuff there?"

He laughed at this. "Eleanor, I've owned this house since it was newly built in 1808. I have _several_ sets of old clothes stashed in the attic, which are sure to amuse the hell out of you."

"I know what we're doing tonight," I said gleefully. He threw a sweater at me.

"Actually, I really was planning on showing you some stuff up there. I have a lot of things from my human past there that I thought you might be interested in. I bought the house after my parents passed away. I stashed a bunch of their things there, and have only gone back through them to make sure they were packed better as better ways to preserve things became available."

"Oh wow, that's amazing," I said.

"There weren't photos then, of course, but I have a portrait of us from when I was a boy," he added.

"Really?" I asked, excited to see what he looked like as a child, something I never thought I would see.

He smiled. "Really. Are you all done with that?" He held his hand out toward my suitcase.

"Yep," I said zipping it up. He grabbed it and took it down to the car, throwing it in the trunk. We closed up the house and were on our way within a few minutes. "Where are you going to park this thing in a historic neighborhood?" I asked him randomly. When we left my car in Forks, he bought himself an SUV. He said he was tired of driving a cramped coupe.

He rolled his eyes. "I put in a garage, Ellie."

"The house you grew up in, is it still there?" I asked.

He nodded. "It is, actually. I sold it after my mother died. It's a small house, right along the 'Freedom Trail,'" he said rolling his eyes again. "Long, long after I sold it, when I saw that it was for sale again, I made arrangements for the historical society to maintain it."

I looked at him, smiling.

"What?" he asked, looking back at me.

"Watch the road," I said. "And also, I love you."

"I love you too."

I spent most of the drive just watching him, and every once in awhile he would look back at me, grin and shake his head. He was trying not to think about the house, he really wanted it to be a surprise when we got there. As we wound our way through the tight streets, he squeezed his car down a tiny cobblestone alley and turned into a garage. He put the car in park and turned it off.

"We can access the house from back here." He smiled excitedly at me as he spoke. "But I would like to walk around to the front, since you haven't been here before."

"Okay, let's go." I agreed.

He came around to help me out, taking my hand and leading me around. Just the back of the house was amazing. It was a beautiful three-story brownstone, with white window frames and black shutters. There wasn't much of a yard, but above the garage was an expansive patio.

I didn't realize that I had stopped walking until I felt him tugging on my arm. "Do you want to see the inside?" he asked me.

"Yeah," I said, distracted.

"Come on then," he said, chuckling.

We walked around to the front of the house, his was on the end of the block, and walked up the steps to the front door. He unlocked the door and gestured for me to walk in. I gasped at the foyer. The ornate woodwork appeared to be original and was beautifully maintained and stood out immediately when you walked in. There was a sitting room off to the right from the entryway, and the wooden staircase ahead. He took me into the sitting room, and I was immediately caught off guard by the family portrait over the fireplace.

"Oh my god," I said, my hand covering my mouth. I stood in front of it, studying it. "I didn't realize you had it displayed."

"Surprise," he said, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"How old were you there?" I asked. The familiar boyish grin on the child in the painting brought tears to my eyes.

"Eight or nine I think? I don't remember exactly when this was done," he answered.

The boy's hair was dark, with curls that framed his face, much like Christopher's hair did now. His eyes were a brilliant blue, shining brightly through the painting, despite its age.

"Oh my god Chris, your eyes."

I looked up at him, and he was smiling at me. "I know, it looks so odd to me now," he said, shaking his head.

I could see both of his parents in his features, then and now. He clearly inherited his father's height and his mother's smile. I could not tear my eyes from the child's face for long though. After a few more minutes, Chris cleared his throat.

"Do you want to see more?" he asked. I nodded, letting him lead me away. He showed me room after room, each one ornate, but tastefully decorated, an interesting mix of antique and modern.

"Every few decades, I hire a new caretaker and decorator, posing as a _new_ owner. It's helpful in case I ever needed to relocate here quickly, much like the homes your parents have maintained."

"Makes sense," I said, looking at one of the bedrooms. "Is one of these, um, yours?" I stammered, stupidly.

"No, but one is ours," he said, smirking. "I didn't exactly have a use for one, as a rule, before you came along." He took my hand again and led me to the master bedroom. It was larger than the others, modestly decorated in a more modern style than the other rooms.

"This looks like you," I said. "Or rather, it looks like you as I know you."

He smiled.

"Does that sound awful? I hope you know I love all of you, even the parts I didn't get to know," I said.

He laughed. "I understood what you meant. You didn't offend me," he said, taking me in his arms and kissing my jaw. "You couldn't possibly." He traced his fingers along my arm, looking in my eyes for a long moment.

"What?" I said.

"Nothing. Everything. You," he said.

"You're not making any sense," I said with a laugh that was silenced by his kiss.

He pulled back, "I'm sorry, my mind is befuddled by this amazing woman in front of me." He kissed me again, gently at first and slowly building, becoming more insistent. He scooped me up without breaking the kiss and laid me down on the bed, climbing over top of me.

"Chris," I said, breathlessly between kisses.

"Yes?" he said, his lips leaving mine, kissing along my jaw and neck instead.

"Thank you, so much, for showing me this place," I said, blinking back tears.

He pulled back to look at me, wiping the tears from my eyes. "This place is yours now too, you know. It always has been, of course. I'm sorry it's taken us nearly 8 years to get here," he said. I touched my hand to his face.

"I love you, Christopher Dawling," I said.

"I love you too, Eleanor Dawling," he answered solemnly.

The next morning, my eyes opened, adjusting to the unfamiliar room. Christopher's arms were around me, and he pressed his lips against my shoulder. "Morning," I said, rolling over and wrapping my arms around his waist. I stretched to kiss him.

"Good morning love," Christopher said, kissing me back. "Are you ready to play tourist today?'

"If you're my tour guide, I am," I said.

"At your service, but that means we have to get up," he said, kissing me again.

I was tempted to convince him to stay in bed all day, but he looked so excited about showing me around the city I couldn't resist his enthusiasm. We got up and I went into the bathroom to shower quickly. When I got out, he had brought a cup of coffee up for me.

"Thank you," I said, kissing him as he handed me the cup. I walked over to the window to look out for a moment. "What's first on the schedule?" I asked.

"I thought we could see my parents' house first. I called over to my contact at the historical society while you were sleeping, they have opened it up so we can go in," he said.

"Sounds great," I said. We walked several blocks away toward some of the historic sites clustered along the freedom trail. It was a beautiful morning and tourists with pamphlets and cameras were beginning to fill the sidewalks.

He led us into an alley, stopping in front of a small, two story brick home. "This is it," he said, smiling. There were three windows in the front, one downstairs, two upstairs; the wooden frames around them were old but looked like they had been updated at some point. "Shall we?" He opened the door. "They've run some electricity, like in other historic structures. As you can see it's off the official trail but they do private tours that include places like this," he explained as we walked in and he carefully switched on a light.

I walked around, stepping lightly on the creaky wooden floors. "How much of this is original?" I asked, turning in a slow circle to take it all in. "Esme would love to see this you know."

"We will have to invite them down," he said. "Much of the furnishings are either original or pretty authentic for the time. I kept a lot of this stuff when I sold this house, and donated it to the historical society when I made the arrangements for them to take it over."

He took my hands and pulled me close to him, holding my hands against his chest. He closed his eyes and thought of fuzzy human memories, sitting at the table with his parents, a terse conversation between his father and a British soldier at the door. The darkened room, crowded with would-be revolutionaries.

"Whoa," I said, looking up at him. "This is incredible."

He shook his head, his hands dropping to my waist. "It's incredible to be able to show you these things. I wish we had done this a long time ago."

"Chris?" I spoke quietly, touching his face. He turned to kiss my palm lightly.

"Yes?" His lips brushed my skin as he spoke.

"Tell me more about your parents, whatever you remember. You've never talked about them much."

He sighed, a sad smile on his lips. "I really wish I could remember more. I didn't realize the importance of those memories in my early days, after I changed. I can tell you that they both would have adored you. They didn't want me to fight, they begged me not to. They wanted me to marry, go out to the country where things were calmer, at the time anyway."

I smiled, waiting for him to continue.

He took a deep breath. "My mother was very kind, but she was a force of nature in her own right. She demanded respect from my father, not a lot of women were as apt to speak as she. She would go to early meetings with him, which angered some of the other revolutionaries. You know she was musical; she was the one who taught me. I have her old piano at our house. I've kept it in working condition and it still plays remarkably well.

"My father was stern, and very bright. He was a businessman, and had many British clients. He was able to pass information along that way. That he was never caught and imprisoned was a miracle. My parents supported the revolution, but they didn't want to give me up for it. Keep in mind, this was around when the massacre happened, things were very tense. Father would have been in that area usually, and very narrowly avoided it."

I leaned up to kiss him. He smiled, leaning his forehead against mine. "What happened when you left?"

He sighed, looking wistfully at the door. "I left while they were sleeping."

I again reached up to touch his face again when I saw the sadness in his eyes.

"That is my only real regret you know. Not saying a proper goodbye. They deserved better."

"They would be proud of you," I said, kissing his cheek. He gave me a withering look.

"Proud of their murderous vampire son?"

"Christopher Dawling. Don't," I said sternly.

"No, Ellie. Really. It's okay, I know what I am," he countered gently.

"Clearly you do not. You are a good man." I wrapped my arms around his neck and waited for his eyes to meet mine. "A wonderful husband, an uncle who is adored by his niece. A brilliant teacher and musician." I kissed him, and when I pulled away I held his face in my hands. "I love you. And they absolutely would be proud of you."

He put one of his hands on one of mine, smiling slightly. "You are quite compelling when you argue with me."

"That's because I'm usually right," I said. He laughed quietly, nodding.

"That is true. Come on, do you want to see the rest?" He asked, pulling me toward the ancient looking stairs. He showed me a spot on the steps where he would sit as a child; I could see where the finish was worn from his constant presence there. After he showed me the tiny bedrooms we walked back down slowly, to the door. "I told them we only needed an hour or so, they will be back to lock up soon," he said.

I nodded, taking in another look at the old house. "Where to next?" I asked.

He led me out, holding my hand as we walked back to the street. We wound our way through the old city; he told me stories of his adventures, human and otherwise, out loud and in his mind if we weren't alone. After several hours, he snaked his arm around my waist, his lips brushing against my ear.

"What do you think about heading home?" he asked, drawing his finger along my arm. His breath on my ear sent chills down my neck and I leaned against him.

"Yes, please," I answered. We turned and walked quickly; he led me through alleys and shortcuts, arriving back at the house only a few minutes later.

We walked into the house, and he pulled me to him as he closed the door with his back against it, holding me up so he didn't have to bend down to kiss me. My fingers tangled in his hair as I returned the kiss. I tried to move my legs around him, which was difficult because his grip around my waist was so tight.

When he realized what I wanted he turned so that I was against the door instead and relaxed his grip so I could move my legs around him with ease. I leaned on his shoulders so that I could move against him, and he responded by pressing against me harder, grunting as he did so. My hips moved against him again, reacting to the noise he made and at the feeling of his hand moving from my face down my neck, over my shoulder and breast before moving around to my lower and settling on my ass. His fingers curled into my skin, pulling me closer to him.

A sigh escaped my lips as his mouth moved from mine to my jaw and down my neck. I raked my fingers through his hair, dragging them down his back, untucking his shirt and running my hands along his back and chest. The feeling of his muscles tensing under my fingers always made me crazy. I unbuttoned his shirt quickly and he helped me remove it, pulling mine over my head in turn. His hands moved around again to my back, reaching to unclasp and remove my bra. His hands moved to cup my breasts gently, lightly rubbing his thumbs over my nipples.

"Ohh" I groaned incoherently, reaching down between us to try and undo his belt. He started to help and then stopped.

"Let's move this upstairs," he whispered, raising his eyebrow. He carried me like that up the stairs, setting me down beside the bed. He removed the rest of our clothes, picking me back up and returning his lips to mine as he sat down on the bed, pulling me down on top of him.

"Oh god," I whimpered into his shoulder as his cock filled me slowly. His arms reached around me, his hands grabbing my shoulders from behind. My hands were on his shoulders so I could guide my body over his.

"Jesus," he gasped as I moved over him slowly. His thoughts were becoming more incoherent, which was making it hard not to lose my focus. I leaned against him, my arms around his neck now as my rhythm started to falter. He grabbed my hips with his strong hands, directing my movements and bringing me down against him as he thrust into me. "Fuck, Ellie," he grunted as we picked up speed. "Oh god baby," he dropped his head to my shoulder, his climax building, starting to overwhelm him. I rocked harder against his body; he trembled from the force of his approaching climax.

His grip on me tightened and he drove into me with inhuman speed. I came immediately, crying out to him loudly. He kept up his pace, still chasing his own release. I couldn't keep up with his movement; he just held me still over him and thrust into me. My muscles clamped down on him again as another orgasm hit me suddenly, and I threw my head back, crying out again as my body shook, sending him over edge at last. He slowed but kept moving while we both came down. When he stopped we were both breathing hard. I climbed off of him and we lay down together on the bed, arms still locked around each other. Neither one of us said anything for several minutes; I listened to his breathing and saw his thoughts slowly refocusing.

"Now that might just be enough to kill me. Jesus, woman."

I smiled at him, barely able to keep my eyes open. He stroked my face softly. "You can sleep, love."

"Mm," I mumbled as my eyes closed involuntarily. "Thank you for today, Chris," I whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too, Ellie. More than I could ever tell you."

I woke up, my head on Christopher's chest, his fingers combing through my hair. "What time is it?" I asked. The sun wasn't up and I couldn't find a clock. "You need a clock in here."

"We need a clock in here. And it's about 4 am," he answered me, kissing my hair.

I laughed. "Sorry, _we_ need a clock. Better?"

"Yes," he said. I could hear the smile in his voice. "Much."

Before I could say anything else, my phone started ringing from somewhere on the floor. I looked up at Chris, "You said 4 am right? What the hell?"

"Don't answer it," he said, locking his arms around me.

"It's probably Alice, and she will just call again." I moved to get up and he dropped his hold with a groan. I felt around the floor for my jeans, digging in the pockets for the phone.

"Alice, really, have you nothing better to do at 4 in the morning than call me?"

"Not today I don't, Jazz isn't here," she said with a giggle. "And by the way, that was way hot yesterday."

"ALICE!" I yelled into the phone. I looked at Chris, whose hands were over his face. "For Christ's sake. What is it that you want?"

"Nessie isn't letting me pick out her wedding dress, so we are going shopping for one in a couple days. We thought we might start in Boston, but I wanted to make sure you were okay with that."

"That's fine," I said. I moved the phone away from my mouth. "The girls are coming down in a couple days to look for a dress for Nessie," I said to Chris.

"Tell them to come here," he said.

"Chris says to just meet me here when you come down," I repeated to my sister. "When are you coming?"

"Next Saturday, since Bella and Nessie have class during the week."

"Okay sounds good. See you Saturday," I said before hanging up the phone. Chris was facing me now, lying on his side. He extended one arm, beckoning me.

"Come back please," he said, putting on a forlorn expression. I laughed at the face he made, but quickly climbed back into bed with him.

"Why in god's name did she have to call at this hour? And how much did she see yesterday?" he asked.

"I don't know. It's Alice, she weird," I said with a grin as he hugged me close to him again. "And enough to declare it _hot_." I giggled. "She's not wrong."

"Aw come on. I don't need to think about your sister watching like that," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Christopher, do you know just how much our family knows about our sex life?"

"Yes! But good lord!" he exclaimed with a laugh. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I love your crazy family..."

"_Our_ crazy family," I interrupted, picking my head up to stick my tongue out at him.

"Our crazy family. Better?" he said, mimicking me.

"Yes, much."

"_Any_way, I love them all, but after being alone for so many years, sometimes it's a little much," he said, wrinkling his nose a bit.

"I bet it is. I hope you know that we can take time away whenever you need it. I mean, I know we have the house in New Hampshire now, but I will go anywhere with you."

He smiled at me, his hand on my face. "I know that Ellie."

"Why don't we stay here?" I offered.

"What?"

"Why don't we stay here? At least part of the time? I mean, we did it for years when we lived in Seattle and split time in Forks, this isn't really any farther," I said.

"Do you want to do that again? Spend that kind of time away from your family?" he asked, propping himself up on his elbow now.

"I don't know. Maybe? I want to spend more time with you. I don't really care _where_ we are, but if we need space, I have no problem making this our home. We have forever, right? It's not like I'm never going to see them, we're not really gone."

He smiled broadly. "Yes, we do. God I love you, Ellie. You really have no idea how much. How about this, we will spend a couple of weeks here, and then decide what we want to do. Okay?"

I kissed him. "It's a deal."

He kissed me back fiercely, wrapping his arms around me again then. "I don't deserve you, Eleanor," he said, kissing my face and neck urgently.

"Yes, you do you ridiculous man," I said before he covered my mouth with his again, climbing over top of me.


	35. Chapter 35

******Warning: This chapter deals with sensitive subjects (ie, pregnancy, loss)******

* * *

Chapter 35. Lost.

A few hours later, I rolled over to find the space next to me empty. Chris had apparently gotten up to take a shower. I considered getting up and joining him, but couldn't really find the motivation to move. All of the emotional upheaval of the last several days must finally be sinking in, my whole body just felt exhausted. I reached over to the end table and grabbed my phone, looking to see what time it was, and to see if I had missed anything important. It was strange being off of a normal schedule, I constantly felt like I didn't know what day or what _time_ of day it was. I didn't mind so much, it was like being back on Esme's Island, but it was somewhat disorienting.

Alice had texted me some details about the shopping trip on Saturday. They would arrive around 9 and we would visit several small boutique shops in the city. I texted her back so she didn't start blowing up my phone with calls, smiling to myself as I imagined how not knowing what Nessie would pick must be driving her crazy. I put the phone back down and laid my head back down on my pillow, yawning. This was utterly ridiculous; I needed to get up.

I forced myself to sit up, just as Christopher shut the water off in the shower. I sat still for a minute with my eyes closed, my head felt fuzzy and I was trying to get it together before he came out of the bathroom.

"You awake, Ellie?" he called to me.

"Yeah," I said, my voice a little shaky. Crap, I thought to myself, there's no way he won't notice that. Sure enough, he popped his head out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Are you all right?" he said, appraising my position.

I nodded. "Yeah, I think so. My body is rebelling at the moment."

"I don't understand," he said, looking thoroughly confused.

I chuckled. "I don't either, but I am just guessing that all of the intensity of the last few days is catching up with me. The perils of being half-human. I'm fine, really." To prove it, I swung my legs around the edge of the bed and stood up, trying not to look like I was bracing myself in case I was unstable. Thankfully, I stood up without incident. "See?" I said, turning toward Christopher.

He nodded warily; still looking slightly unconvinced that all was well. "How about I run around the corner and get you something to eat?"

I thought about that. I was kind of hungry, but there was a minor flaw to his plan. I opened my mouth to tell him that that would require leaving me alone, but I thought better of it. "Do you mind?" I said instead.

"Of course not," he responded, rolling his eyes. He put on his pants and a sweater and grabbed his wallet and phone. "I will be back in 20 minutes," he said before kissing me goodbye.

I didn't move until I heard the front door shut, relieved to have a few minutes by myself. After standing for just a few minutes, I was a little dizzy. What the hell is going on? I took a few steps toward the bathroom, and eventually made it without catastrophe. I took a few deep breaths and decided to attempt a shower. I really needed to get it together now, or he would drag me back to New Hampshire to my father.

I turned the water on and stepped in, moving as quickly as I could in case the dizziness came back. By the time I was almost finished, I felt pretty good, and was looking forward to whatever Christopher was bringing back. By the time I was almost finished getting dressed, I heard him coming through the door.

"Ellie?" he called to me.

"I will be down in a second!" I responded, pulling my shirt on and heading down the steps. He smiled at me as I walked into the kitchen. He had brought back a huge breakfast platter from a little place around the corner.

"Holy crap Chris, that's a ton of food!"

"I wasn't sure what you wanted," he said with a laugh. I kissed him on the cheek.

"Thanks honey," I said before diving in. He sat with me while I ate. "You are doing a remarkably good job at not looking revolted," I said to him.

"I have a fair amount of practice by now," he said, winking at me.

"True. Even Nessie thinks I'm weird. I blame Carlisle; he made such a big deal about it being easier if I didn't hate human food. Edward was such a pushover about that when Nessie didn't want to play ball."

Christopher laughed at that. "I don't mind it really. As long as I don't have to eat it, that is. I like being able to bring you breakfast, very domestic."

"Ha, domestic, huh?"

He nodded. "So what do you say we take it easy today?" He was trying not to show it in his thoughts, but he was still worried that something was wrong with me.

"Gee, you mean I have to hang around the house with my gorgeous husband all day? I don't know," I said sarcastically. "Sounds perfect." He kissed my forehead and started to clear away the food, I had more than had my fill. "I will get that Chris," I said, moving to stand.

"No way. You sit, I will take care of it," he said. I sat, shaking my head. When he came back over to the table, I stood up again to kiss him. He kissed me back, but carefully. I tried to pull him closer but he rebuffed me.

"I said take it easy," he said gently. "I'm worried about you, we can take a break today, okay?"

"You are not serious. Come on," I whined, moving my hands underneath his shirt, planning to persuade him. "We can take it easy _and_ have sex."

"One day won't kill you Ellie," he said, trying to be stern and gripping my wrists, preventing them from moving further. I could see the corners of his mouth twitching; he was amused by my tantrum.

"Like it will be so easy for you," I said, pouting.

"It won't be," he said with a laugh now. "Come on, lets go sit out on the patio for a while." He kept hold of one of my hands and led me out the back door. He sat down on a lounge chair and pulled me down into his lap, his arms wrapped around me. I was feeling tired again, so I curled my legs up over his and leaned back against him. His hands lazily rubbed my back and arms, almost like he was trying to lull me to sleep. It was rather effective. I could feel myself dozing off again after awhile.

I don't know how long I slept for, but I woke with a start, suddenly feeling like something was slicing through my abdomen and twisting my insides violently.

"Ahh!," I cried out in agony, clutching my stomach, startling Christopher who sat us both up immediately.

"Ellie? What is it? What's wrong?" he said his hands on my arms, holding me up.

I sucked in a deep breath and held it, squeezing my eyes shut. The pain made it impossible to talk. It subsided as suddenly as it started, and I let out the breath I was holding, panting now, my eyes still closed.

"ELLIE!" Chris said again. "What's the matter?"

I shook my head. "I don't know," I gasped. "It hurt, Chris. Like someone cut me open or something."

"What hurt? Your stomach? Are you sick?" His eyes were panic stricken.

I shook my head. "No, I mean yes," I put his hand on my lower abdomen where the pain hit, "but I don't feel sick. I'm not nauseated."

"Is it gone now?"

"Yeah, mostly. My back aches a little, but the pain is gone otherwise," I said slowly, doing a mental evaluation of my body. I leaned back against him, and he carefully lay back again, still tense. His mind was reeling, imagining all sorts of gruesome problems.

"Christopher, it's okay, I think," I said, not convincingly.

"Something is wrong with you Ellie. I think maybe we ought to call Carlisle," he replied, his phone in hand.

I shook my head, putting my hand on his. "I just want to rest, okay? I will be fine."

He put his arms carefully around me again, still planning to call my father the next time I fell asleep. Suddenly though, he thought of something.

"Um, Ellie? Do you think maybe you're...you know, getting your..." he trailed off, hoping I would see what he meant. He was thinking about our conversation back on the island

My eyes widened, considering this. "I don't know. I hope not because if that happens on a regular basis," I shuddered. "The one time I had one it wasn't anything like that. I mean, yeah, I felt crappy but I didn't feel like _that_."

I felt him nod against my head. He resumed stroking my back and arms, and I tried to settle back down like before. When I opened my eyes again I was lying on the couch in the TV room, just inside from the patio, I could hear Christopher's voice in the other room. Damn it, he really did call my father. I sat up slowly, and stood, starting to walk toward his voice. Before I could get to the doorway, however, the searing pain hit me again and I dropped to my knees, doubling over my stomach.

"Chris?" I barely whispered, but he had heard me fall and was at my side instantly, the phone still in his hand.

"Ellie! Shit! What happened?" he said, panicking now. He picked me up, and hit the button to turn on speakerphone.

Tears started to streamed down my face as I held my breath, waiting for the pain to subside.

"Ow! Oh my god," I groaned as it intensified instead and dug my fingers into Christopher's arm.

"Carlisle, you still there?" he asked frantically.

"I'm here Chris, what's going on? Is it happening again?"

"Yea. She looks worse this time. What can I do?" Chris asked him urgently. He started to lay me down on the couch, and he gasped when he moved his arm out from under me. "Fuck. Carlisle, she's _bleeding._"

I didn't understand what I just heard him say. I tried to speak but the pain redoubled and my body folded into itself again. I heard my father swear into the phone. "Keep her comfortable if you can; we will be there soon," he said.

The phone clicked off and I could feel the pain starting to lessen slightly, I gasped a sob. "What is going on?" I said, dizzy now from holding my breath.

"Shh baby, try and relax okay? They will be here soon," he said.

"Why are they coming? What is happening? Chris, please tell me what he said," I pleaded, crying fat tears, still cringing from the throbbing in my abdomen.

"Ellie, honey. Please calm down," he pleaded. "Please baby. It's going to be okay."

I took a few deep breaths, trying to focus as the pain lessened. "Christopher. What is happening?" I asked again.

He hesitated, on his knees by the couch. "Ellie, he thinks you're pregnant, but there's obviously complications. I'm not sure what's happening."

"Chris, the couch. You said I was bleeding," I said, dazed, opening my eyes and trying to focus. "Oh my god your arm," I said.

"It's okay, Ellie. I need to make you comfortable, can I do anything?"

I shook my head. "Pregnant? I don't understand," I said. "I'm losing it, aren't I?"

He nodded. "I think so honey, I'm sorry," he said.

The tears came back, for something I never wanted in the first place. "Chris I'm so sorry," I gasped.

He shook his head and pressed his lips to my forehead. "Don't baby, just rest okay?"

I nodded, closing my eyes, suddenly tired again. I lost time for a while, I wasn't sure whether I had really slept or just closed my eyes momentarily.

I could hear voices, talking quietly. Christopher was speaking. "What exactly did she see Carlisle?"

Images filled my head, as Edward thought of Alice's vision. Christopher cradling a baby, handing it to me. The baby looked like Chris in miniature. I opened my eyes. I was momentarily distracted trying to figure out why my two siblings were here with my father. It dawned in me that they both had medical training sufficient to help Carlisle.

"She saw a baby, Chris. It was...yours, and Ellie's," my brother said.

I heard Chris swallow. "And now?"

I saw Edward shake his head. I sat up and looking down at myself, I saw my clothes had been changed.

"Chris?"

He was sitting beside me in an instant, his arms carefully around me. "How do you feel honey?" he whispered.

"Groggy. What's going on?" I asked thickly. I couldn't process what I had seen and heard.

"Sorry Ellie, I gave you some morphine for the pain," I heard my father say. "You're going to be a little fuzzy for a while I think."

I nodded slowly, or I think I did anyway. I leaned against Christopher, woozy. "Please tell me what happened," I said in a whisper, closing my eyes.

"Sweetheart, we think you're having a miscarriage," my father said soberly.

I looked at him, struggling a bit to focus my eyes. "You need to be pregnant to have a miscarriage. What are you talking about?"

"Honey," Christopher spoke now. "Remember when I told you that he thought you were pregnant? Earlier?" I thought hard, remembering before, when Christopher had been on the phone with my dad. I nodded. My mouth felt dry.

He kissed my head. "I'm sorry honey," he whispered.

"So I'm not, now?" I said, numbly.

"No, I don't think so," my father said. "Ellie, are you in pain now?"

I shook my head.

"Can Rosalie examine you? I thought you might be more comfortable if she did it," he said gently.

"That's fine," I said numbly. Chris picked me up and took me to one of the bedrooms and Rose did a careful exam. Chris stayed with me while Carlisle and Edward waited outside of the room.

When she was done, Chris helped me sit up. Rose sat down on the bed on the other side of me, taking one of my hands. "I think you've passed the fetus, Ellie. But you're still bleeding a lot. We're concerned about how much blood you've lost," she said. "You ought to feed soon."

"I'll get right on that," I said, wondering how I was supposed to hunt when I could barely feel my face.

Rose cracked a small smile. "That's not what I mean, Ellie. Carlisle was able to secure some blood bags - like we had for Bella - as we left to come here. We can probably give you some through an IV if your stomach isn't feeling up to drinking it."

Chris spoke up. "That's probably not a bad idea Rose. Carlisle? Edward? What do you think?"

Carlisle and Edward came back in the room then, and agreed that an IV would be a good starting place, given that the morphine might make it difficult for my stomach to tolerate anything, even blood at this point.

"Come on, let's get you back to our room then," Christopher said, picking me up. I leaned my head against his chest, squeezing my eyes shut. The movement made me queasy.

Chris laid me down in our bed and covered me with the comforter. Edward handed Carlisle his bag, and he removed a kit for starting an IV. He took my arm and wiped just below the inside of my elbow with an alcohol pad. He wasn't positive that he would be able to get through my skin with the needle, but after several minutes, he taped the line to my arm and improvised a way to hang the bag above me.

I turned my head to look at Chris sitting next to me. "Honey, you don't have to stay if this bothers you," I said weakly. He shook his head.

"Don't be silly. I'm not going anywhere," he said. "Lie back Ellie, why don't you try to go back to sleep?"

I wanted to protest, but I complied as he gently pulled me back against him. The pain started up again then, and I sat up suddenly, holding my middle. "Ellie, honey, breath baby," Chris said. "Can you give her any more medicine?" he asked Carlisle, his voice anxious as he held me.

I let out the breath I was holding and tried to breath regularly. Carlisle pulled out a syringe and took hold of my other arm. "I'm going to give you more morphine sweetheart, you will probably fall asleep in a few minutes, okay?"

I nodded, not looking at him while I tried to focus on breathing through the blinding pain. I felt the medicine coursing through my veins, and sure enough I fell back against Christopher a second later, suddenly struggling to keep my eyes open. As I started to doze I felt my father take my wrist, checking my pulse. _Edward,_ I thought to my brother.

_Yes, Ellie?_

_Talk to him, please. Make sure he's okay. _I was worried how Chris was taking all of this, I feared he wanted a baby more than he ever would let me know, and that he might be more devastated than I would be, once I could properly process everything.

_Rest Ellie. I will talk to him._

_Thank you. You'll tell me? If he's struggling? Please?_

He sighed, almost imperceptibly, but nodded. He knew I would do the same for him.

I let sleep take me then, strange, fractured dreams weaving through my subconscious. At least that's what I thought, but then I realized I was really listening to Christopher speak to my father and siblings while they thought I couldn't hear.

"_Carlisle, how did this happen? There was no indication that anything was...different. How would we not know she was pregnant?"_

"_Christopher, I don't know. There are human women who conceive without experiencing regular menses, so I suppose that would be possible for Ellie as well. I admit, I am concerned that Alice didn't see anything until it was too late, and even then she didn't seem to register that the pregnancy wasn't...viable. It's remarkable that this hasn't happened before now," Carlisle responded. "It's entirely possible that conception didn't occur very long ago at all. We already know that half-vampire children grow very fast, and since she isn't fully human, your offspring would have more vampire genes than even Ellie or Nessie do. Perhaps that made it difficult for things to develop properly?"_

"_Christopher," Rosalie spoke up. "These things happen all the time in humans, really."_

"_That's not really so comforting, Rose. You didn't see her earlier. She was in so much pain. I couldn't do _any_thing for her. What if this happens again?"_

"_Let's get her through this and then figure that out, okay?" she answered._

_Chris fumed, burying his head in his hands. Edward spoke up from the far corner of the room. "Can I have a minute to speak with Chris," he said, "if that's okay with you, of course, Chris?"_

_Chris nodded his consent to speak with my brother. _"_Thanks Edward," Christopher said when they were alone. _

"_For what?" Edward asked._

"_Clearing the room? And obviously for being here," Chris answered._

"_You looked a little overwhelmed. And of course, I can imagine what a shock this is for both of you," he said softly. "How are you holding up?"_

_Christopher sighed and looked away. "I'm okay. I'm worried about her, Edward. She has been _adamant _that she does not want a baby, and that she wasn't sorry that by all indications her system didn't work that way. I think she saw it, Edward. Whatever you were thinking about before, what Alice saw; what was it exactly?"_

"_I'm sorry about that, I wasn't fast enough to block the memory of the vision. Alice saw you holding the baby. It...he... looked like you," Edward said. _

"_He?" Chris swallowed. "Ellie saw that?_

_Edward nodded. "I'm not sure she remembers, but you're right, I'm pretty sure she caught it. I'm so sorry, Christopher."_

_"I don't understand," Christopher said. "If Alice saw the baby born, what happened to change that?"_

_"We may never know Chris. Rose is right, these things do happen in humans frequently. I wonder, actually…" Edward said, trailing off. _

The haze started to overpower my mind, but I struggled to keep focus long enough for him to finish that thought.

_"You wonder what?" _

_Edward hesitated, "I wonder if the baby she saw was even this baby."_

_"Oh," Christopher said. _

I could see in Edward's mind how Christopher looked at me sadly, but with a glimmer of hope behind his eyes. The conversation faded from my mind.

When consciousness returned, I was aware that my whole body hurt. It kind of reminded me of the thrashing I took from the newborn years ago. My arms were sluggish as I tried to move. When I opened my eyes I saw my father sitting on the edge of the bed, my brother standing against the wall.

"Where's Chris?" I asked them, struggling slightly to speak.

"Carlisle convinced him that he should hunt, he and Rose left a couple hours ago. They should be back any minute," Edward replied.

"Good," I whispered. I tried to stretch and sit up, but only got about halfway up when the wooziness hit again. "Holy hell," I said.

Carlisle moved closer to help me sit. "How's that?" he asked as he adjusted the pillows behind me. "I'm sorry, it was hard to gauge how much medicine would be effective for you. I think I overdid it a bit."

"S'okay," I slurred. "How long until this is over?"

Carlisle smiled gently. "I think you are past the worst of it, physically. How do you feel?"

I thought about that. The pain in my stomach had subsided to a dull throb that circled around my back. I explained that to my father.

"That will gradually improve, I think. Rose said the bleeding has all but stopped, which is good. You will likely start feeling better more quickly once you are maintaining the blood supply in your system," he explained. "Ellie? You understand what's happened right? I know the medication has made it a little difficult, and I want to make sure you know I will answer any question that I can."

"That's a loaded question Daddy," I replied, attempting humor. "Yeah, I know what happened, but I can't say I understand."

I looked up at my brother. "Edward, what did you mean when you were talking to Chris? You don't think Alice saw, um, this...baby," I said, choking on the word. "Did I dream that?"

"I didn't realize you heard any of that Ellie. It's just a guess. Like maybe this...experience...may change your course? I'm sorry for speculating, it's not my business."

"No it's okay. I've always wondered if Chris wanted, um, _that_ more than he would let on to me..." I said.

"And you?" Carlisle asked. "I'm sorry, that's not a fair question to ask you right now," he backtracked.

I shook my head. "I don't know, Dad."


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36. Reconnection.

Chris and I were lying together in bed, holding each other, not speaking. Without warning, he rolled over me, kissing me, his lips hard against mine.

My eyes opened and I was startled by the dark stillness of the room. Christopher noticed immediately that I was awake, and tightened his hold around me very slightly.

"Ellie, are you okay?"

I was breathing harder than usual. "Yeah," I answered. He didn't buy it, I could tell.

"Ellie, sweetie, please tell me what's wrong," he said gently.

I shook my head against my pillow. "Nothing," I said, knowing that he wouldn't consent to what I wanted. Since the miscarriage, he would hardly touch me. It had been two weeks since Carlisle and Rose had declared that as long as I felt okay, our physical relationship could resume, but Christopher was terrified. I had tried to convince him that I was okay and we could have sex but he would not allow it.

"Eleanor, please. What is it?"

I decided to try a different approach this time. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the dream, pushing it into Christopher's mind.

"What the hell, Ellie?" He dropped his hold immediately, startled by intrusion. Not the reaction I was looking for.

"It was a dream, Chris," I said, frustration in my voice.

"Ellie, no. Please," he said. I could hear the struggle in his head as he rebuffed my mental advance. Defeated and tired of begging, I rolled so that I was facing away from him, not wanting him to notice the tears that formed without permission in my eyes. I felt his thumbs wiping tears away and he sighed, rubbing my back until I fell asleep again.

When I woke up later, my sisters, Nessie, and Esme had all arrived for the dress-shopping trip that should have happened weeks ago. I opened my eyes and found Alice, Rose, and Bella sitting around me, with Nessie and Esme sitting nearby.

"Um. Hi," I said, sitting up. "Did you guys throw Christopher out?"

"Basically," Alice answered. I could see in her thoughts that he was with the other other men of the family.

I nodded. "Okay then. Let me get dressed okay?"

Everyone stood to leave except Alice, who hesitated. "Can I stay?"

"Um, sure," I responded, shrugging my shoulders. I went to my closet to pick out something to wear for today's outing.

Everyone else filed out of the bedroom. "What's up chief?" I asked my sister.

"I could ask you that. How are you?" she responded, eyeing me cautiously.

"I'm, uh, okay," I said.

She gave me a withering look. "No really. How are you Ellie?"

"Really? Like _really?_ I'm about to lose it, Alice. My husband won't fucking touch me. If I look at him the wrong way he's halfway across the room." I threw a shirt across the room to emphasize my frustration. "Last night, or this morning or whenever it was, I had this dream right? I was kind of pissed when I woke up and he asked me what was wrong. I decided 'to hell with it,' and just showed him the dream. No dice. He has _got _to be dying but he won't let me know that because that will just encourage me. Please, please tell me you know how to fix this. Because I sure as hell don't." I covered my face with my hands, embarrassed by my verbose answer.

She smiled sadly when my tirade ended. "I don't really, Ellie, I'm sorry. I _think_ you just need to talk to him."

"HE WON'T TALK ABOUT IT!" I shouted, throwing my hands up. "I try to bring it up, over and over. He won't. I feel horrible. Here we thought we have no chance at this, and I get pregnant and LOSE the baby before we even know it's there." I slammed my hand against the wall. "FUCK."

There was a gentle knock at the door. "Ellie? Honey? Can I come in?"

I sighed. "Yes, Mom, come in."

She came in and closed the door behind her quietly, and went to sit on the bed. "Eleanor. You know he's only worried about you right?"

"Of course, Mom. I know that. Why do you think I can't push the issue more than I have?"

She smiled sadly and nodded. "Okay. I know. Ellie," She said, looking me in the eye. "I wish I had an easy answer for you. This will take time. For what it's worth, I think Bella has asked Edward to talk to him."

"Oh jeez. That won't end well," I said.

"They are a lot alike," Esme mused. "Maybe it will help more than you think."

I nodded, not really buying it, but wanting to be done with the conversation. I was ready to go, so I headed downstairs with my sister and my mother.

We spent hours trying on dresses at several boutique dress stores. The good news was Nessie found a dress that met Alice's approval much faster than I expected. As we left the store, Alice turned to me.

"You up for a hunt, Ellie?"

"Sure," I said, rolling my eyes. The transition back to animal blood had gone smoothly, but my family members were still keeping a close eye on me; making sure that I hunted frequently. Donated human blood didn't have quite the same potency as fresh, or so I'd been told, but it was still preferable to your average deer.

"I assume that's what the guys are up to? You never said," I said to my sister. She nodded. "Do you know how long they will be gone?"

"They will be back tomorrow morning. Before sunrise," she said, her eyes closed for a moment.

"Good," I said. I was happy that he would be out for a while, hopefully letting off some steam, especially since he wouldn't let _me_ assist him with that, but glad he would be back early. Tomorrow was the anniversary of the day we ran into each other in the woods, which we both held as a significant date.

"Alice? What is exactly is Edward going to say to Christopher? I know you know, and I also know that Chris is just going to assume that I have asked Edward to badger him."

"I actually don't know yet. It hasn't happened and Edward hasn't decided anything, I suspect he won't until he has too," she mused.

"Damn it," I said, as we all piled into the Jeep to head out of the city. "I don't want him to come home angry with me," I added with a sigh, leaning my head back against the seat.

"Ellie, I think he just wants to give Christopher a chance to talk out his concerns, that's all. He might be able to be more...forthright with them; he doesn't have to worry about hurting you," Bella said.

"He can tell me whatever it is," I protested. "I know this all of this has hurt him too."

"I know that, Ellie, and I'm sure he does too, but Esme is right. He _is_ a lot like Edward in that regard, going to ridiculous lengths to avoid causing you more pain, even if it's all in his head."

I sat in silence for the rest of the drive away from the city, not listening to the conversations going on throughout the rest of the car. A half hour later we parked off a side a side road somewhere and walked into the woods. Nessie walked along with me.

"Ness?"

"Yeah Ellie?" Nessie looked over at me with her eyebrow raised.

"Sorry."

"For what?"

"For being such a whiney ass today. I will get it together I swear. How are things with Jacob?"

She shook her head. "You're fine, Ellie," she said. "Things are good. He's a little overwhelmed with the wedding stuff right now."

"You mean the Alice stuff," I said, winking. "You could always elope."

"Eleanor Dawling, knock that off right now," Alice shouted. "There will be no more talk of that nonsense."

"Oh Alice, I do love to wind you up," I said laughing at my sister's expression. I looked back at Nessie and nodded toward the scent of some elk nearby. We took off after them, still laughing at Alice's protest of my suggestion. After we fed, we sat and waited for the rest to finish.

_Ellie? _Nessie thought to me.

I looked over. "What's up?"

_This is none of my business but, if you guys are worried about another pregnancy, what about using condoms? _

I had this conversation with my father shortly after the miscarriage, I had wondered whether that would be a possible solution. "The general consensus is that because of the venom they would likely be less than effective. I didn't really want details," I said with a shudder. "But when I asked, Carlisle mentioned that there was evidence to support that theory. I'm pretty sure _you _are that evidence."

She blanched. "_Oh_."

I grinned at her. "Bet you're glad you don't have that problem."

"Not going to lie. Jacob being human, or human-_ish_, makes things like this a lot more straightforward," she said, shaking her head slightly. "What if you do get pregnant again?"

I shrugged again. "Then I guess we will see what happens."

She looked at me skeptically. "Just like that?"

"No, not really. But I think Chris and I need to be realistic in that if it happened once, it can happen again. And if your dad's theory holds water, than the next time may be for real. Christopher's current abstinence approach is just not going to work long term. Shit, it's not working _now_."

She nodded. "So, my dad is going to talk him?"

"Apparently. It's like the fucking twilight zone. I'm relying on _Edward_ to talk Chris off the ledge?" I said, laughing and shaking my head.

"Seriously. Good luck with that," Nessie said, also laughing. My sisters and mother came running up to us then, Bella giving us a pointed look.

"Don't even Bella. It was funny and you know it." She continued to stare at me, feigning annoyance but cracked a smile.

When we got back to the house, we decided to camp out in the TV room for a while watching movies. Nessie and I stretched out on the couches, and my mother and siblings sat around us on the floor and in chairs. Bella and Nessie's phones buzzed at almost exactly the same time. I chuckled to myself that Jake and Edward were so in sync. They were on their way back. I looked down at my phone; a little disappointed that Chris didn't send me a message, but feeling ridiculous for it all the same.

Alice looked over at me. "Chris and Carlisle will be out a little longer, Ellie. I'm not sure exactly what, but they seem to have more to talk about."

"Huh. Alright then," I said with a pout. "I think I'm going to bed then."

I said goodnight and walked up the stairs to our bedroom. I closed the door behind me and pulled off my jeans, throwing them on a chair, and trading my sweater and bra for a long tank top. The bed felt colder to me _now_ that when Chris was there with me. He had been away long enough that his absence was making me anxious, though I was worried about what his state of mind would be when he got home. I resolved that no matter what we would have a serious conversation about what had happened and how we were going to handle things now. We needed to start moving forward again. I sighed and rolled onto his side, lying on his pillow. I took a deep breath and his scent filled my head, which had an incredibly calming effect. My eyes fluttered closed instantaneously.

I thought I must have been dreaming again when my eyes opened. I could see the streetlights in the windows; the sky was still dark. I could feel Christopher's strong arms around me, and he pulled me tighter to him. I wanted to roll over and see his face, but I was so happy that he was holding me so closely that I didn't want to ruin it. I listened to his thoughts instead, he was very calm, but was trying to figure out how to say something. He was also trying _not_ to think about his conversation with my father and brothers; he knew I would be listening for a hint. I felt his breath near my ear then, sending goose bumps down my arms.

"No fair, cheater," he whispered. I sighed and tried to move myself even closer to him. My ass was against him now and I could feel he was hard, and much to my surprise he didn't push me away. He unfolded his arms from around me, moving his hands across my stomach and over my hips, digging his fingertips in slightly as he dragged them over my skin.

"Chris," I whispered as I leaned my head back against him, lifting my hand to touch his face. He pressed his lips to my neck, kissing slowly down toward my collarbone. He slowly moved his hand back up along my body. "Hi," I breathed when I rolled over to face him, weaving arms around his cool waist.

He smiled at me warmly and my heart fluttered. It felt like forever since I had seen this smile light up his face. "Hi Ellie," he answered, as he brushed my hair out of my face. "I missed you. I'm sorry I didn't wait to leave until you were awake, but Alice was threatening violence if I didn't go."

I laughed quietly, his hands were still moving over my skin so it was very difficult to concentrate. "It's okay. Did you have a good time?"

"I suppose you could say that. I did a lot of thinking. And a lot of talking with Edward, Jacob and Carlisle."

"Jacob?" I asked, confused.

He shrugged. "He is about to marry the other hybrid in the family," he said with a wink. "He was interested in the conversation, and actually was able to provide a different perspective."

"So what does that mean?" I asked hesitantly. He didn't answer, but instead he kissed me, _really_ kissed me, for the first time in weeks. He smiled against my lips as he broke off the kiss; I was breathing hard and I felt heavy with pent-up desire.

"We have a lot to talk about, I think." He paused for a second. "But there's something else that we need to take care of first," he said in a husky tone. His voice sent shivers down my body. Before I could say anything else his mouth was covering mine and he was pulling me on top of him.

* * *

"I was _such_ an idiot," Christopher said, breathlessly.

"Yep," I said with a laugh, kissing his chest. "I missed you Chris."

He hugged me tighter. "I'm sorry, Ellie. I didn't mean to push you away. I'm just scared, you know?"

"Oh honey, I know that. I am too. But we will figure this out." I sat up then, and took a deep breath. "Can I ask you something?"

He sat up as well, holding both of my hands. "Anything."

"And can we forget our previous conversations on this subject?"

"Yes."

I swallowed, pushing back the urge to climb back on top of him and forget the talk that we needed to have. "If we had known," I said slowly, "about the...pregnancy...and if what happened a few weeks ago...didn't, what then?"

He processed my vague question. "I'm not sure, I've been wanting to ask you the same thing though. I mean, if we were able to have a baby? And it wouldn't put _you_ in danger? I think...maybe?" He looked at me. "But I don't want it if you don't. And I absolutely don't want it if it will hurt you."

"Pretty sure there are no guarantees there, with regard to the latter," I said with a sigh.

He looked at me, pain in his eyes. "Ellie, I can't lose you. I can't even fathom it. How could we even consider something that might put you at risk?"

"Honey, I'm not saying we have to _consider_ anything. But I think we need to have to this discussion. Apparently my body has put this on the table."

He nodded. "That's pretty much what both Edward and Carlisle said."

I nodded. "He knows you're worried, sweetie. Which isn't to say that I am _not_, but you have been so stressed about all of this." I looked away. "I haven't done a very good job of helping you with that."

"Ellie, no. No. Do not do that. _You_ are the one that has had to physically suffer through all of this," he said, the pained look returning to his eyes.

I shook my head, smiling at him and kissed him lightly. "I love you."

He nodded, putting his forehead against mine. "I love you too. I can't lose you, Ellie. I can't."

"Shh, baby. You won't, I promise. I'm here for the long haul. Come here," I said, pulling him to me, lying down and he followed, laying his head on my chest. I stroked his hair gently and we stayed like that until I woke up the next morning. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised that Christopher hadn't moved at all. His head was lying in the middle of my chest; my hand was resting on the nape of his neck, my fingers in his hair.

"Chris?" I whispered.

He picked his head up and looked at me. "Hi there," he said, smiling brilliantly at me.

I couldn't resist smiling back. "Hi," I replied, touching his face. "You have no idea how happy that makes me."

"What?" he said.

"Seeing you smile like that."

He kissed me softly. "Smile more, check," he said, his lips still brushing mine.

"Mmm, more of that too," I murmured.

"Anything else I can do for you Mrs. Dawling?" he asked in a husky whisper. I answered his question with a whimper as his lips found mine.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37. Future.

Nessie and Jacob's wedding was only two days away, and Chris and I were back in New Hampshire, spending the day at my parents' house helping to get everything ready. Alice had the whole family on lockdown to prepare. We walked downstairs to the kitchen, where Alice was holding court, assigning tasks. Chris was told to help Jacob and Emmett pick up guests at the airport that were flying in today. He kissed me goodbye and left with the others. The rest of us were given various errands and tasks to complete and set off.

Rosalie and I were sent to drop checks off with the various vendors that Alice had made arrangements with, and to confirm the last minute details. Bella was going to help Alice with Nessie's last dress fitting.

It was dark by the time the activity had settled in the house. Chris and Jacob were making another airport run. Most of the pack had come out, though Sam made a few stay behind. This time they were picking up Charlie, Sue, Billy, Seth and Leah.

I was outside on the back porch enjoying the relative quiet when familiar arms circled around my waist.

"Hi," he whispered, his lips against my ear.

"Hi, yourself. Are you released from chauffeur duty?" I asked him.

"I think so," he answered, kissing along my neck now. I leaned against him, closing my eyes for a moment. My breathing picked up as his lips continued to trail along my skin. "I don't think they'll miss us, care to go for a hunt?" he asked.

"That sounds like a great idea," I agreed. As soon as the words left my mouth he picked me up and took off through the forest. As he ran, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his skin, moving up to his jaw line. He shuddered slightly, pressing his lips to my forehead and inhaling.

"Bet you wish our house wasn't full of wolves now don't you?" I said with a grin. We had offered our house for some of the pack to stay in while they were in town. We were staying in one of my parents' guest rooms. He laughed.

"Because we have to come out here to be alone? Or because we will have to hire an industrial cleaning crew to get rid of the smell?"

"Both," I said, joining in his laughter.

He slowed to a walk before sitting down with me in his lap and kissed my shoulder. "How soon do you think we can go back to Boston after all of this?" His expression was strained.

"What's up Chris? Are you okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I just want some real alone time with you. We've been up here so much lately..."

We had been spending a lot more time in New Hampshire than we had planned before the miscarriage. At first Chris wanted to be nearer to the family just in case there were more problems, and there was still the lingering question of Jonathan's inevitable reappearance, though Alice still did not see any sign of him in our futures.

I smiled and ran my fingers through his hair. "I know exactly what you mean." He kissed me, his lips hard against mine, insistent. I moved so that I was facing him and his hands slipped under the hem of my cotton dress. We were too close to the house to get too carried away but we could both feel the pull between us; we needed contact. He opened his shorts and pulled out his cock before yanking my underwear out of the way so he could slip inside me. I clutched myself to him tighter, my fingers tangled in his hair. I moved over him slowly, pressing my forehead against his. Our breaths came in gasps, in sync with our movements against each other. I placed lingering kisses along his face, moving my lips toward his. His fingers dug into my thighs as he started to guide my movements over him.

Suddenly, he froze, causing me to whimper involuntarily. He held me still, ignoring my struggle to keep grinding into him. There were footsteps nearby. His restraint wavered as I rocked harder, not caring who was out there. I pressed my mouth against his shoulder to keep from crying out, dropping one of my hands to his back and grabbing at the fabric of his shirt.

_Oh fuck Ellie. Don't stop, I don't care who's there, _he thought. I could hear his thoughts becoming more erratic as he drove into me, right on the edge of his climax. He grabbed my hips and I was unable to stay quiet, his frantic, inhuman speed made me moan and I threw my head back as I came.

He grunted as his movements started to become more jagged. His grip loosened slightly and I took control again. His arm muscles tightened as he came and the feeling of his pulsing cock inside me drove me back over the edge. When I finally stopped moving, we stayed like that, connected, arms around each other. I ran my hands through his hair, leaving more kisses on his cheek and forehead.

_Who was it, by the way? _he thought.

I giggled and pressed my lips against his shoulder. "Um, Sam, I think. I wasn't really paying much attention."

"Mmm," he murmured as he kissed my jaw. "I guess not." His hands were lazily moving up and down my back; he slid one around to cup my breast over my dress. _I would really, really like to take this off you._

I started to move against him again. I knew we should go back, but I couldn't stop myself. My eyes met his and we watched each other as we moved together again, slowly. After several minutes, I could see the corners of his eyes crease and his lips twitch; he was nearly there. He held my gaze as his hold on me tightened and I bit my lip as my own orgasm started to swell. I struggled to keep my eyes open and trained on his as the sensation crashed over me and my muscles clamped down around him. He moved faster before exploding, mouth open but not making a sound. We could have continued for hours like that, I was sure.

"Um, that was intense," Chris mumbled with his head down against my shoulder now.

"Seriously. Is it weird that, uh..." I said, trailing off.

"You want more?" he finished my thought, looking up at me. "Not weird to me. I think I could keep you here like this for a week."

"Sign me up," I said with a grin.

He chuckled. "I think we probably need to get back soon though, and we still have to hunt."

I nodded. "Damn family responsibilities."

He kissed me before I could move. "I love you," he said in a husky voice that sent chills through me.

"I love you too," I said, sighing into his kiss. He didn't pull away from me as I expected, and I kissed him harder in response. He groaned and suddenly was overtop of me, pressing against my body with his own. I moaned his name as he thrust into me again and again, holding both of my hands above my head in one of his, his other hand holding one of my legs against his hip. I gasped for air as his lips moved from mine, kissing my neck, and I slammed my body into his in response. We cried out together as we came, and he crushed himself to me, letting go of my hands and wrapping his arms around me as he kissed me.

I needed to breath, and I put my hands against his chest and pushed him back. He pulled his lips from mine, smiling as I panted.

"Sorry love," he whispered, looking sheepish. When I finally caught my breath, I giggled.

"Some of us do need to breath, you know," I teased. He rose to his knees, holding his hand out to help me up. We stood and made our best attempt to neaten ourselves, laughing together at our ridiculous appearances. We slowly walked back toward the house, hunting along the way. We slipped in the back door and found Sam sitting at the kitchen table with Emily. Sam looked up with a raised eyebrow.

"Uh, hi Sam," I said, not looking him in the eye. "Sorry about that."

He laughed. "Don't worry about it."

Emily looked at us, confused. I looked at her and then at the floor, grinning. "He'll tell you later, I'm sure. How are you, Emily?"

She smiled. "I'm well, Ellie. How are you?"

She stood and walked to me, giving me a surprisingly confident hug. The Quileutes had gradually become more used to us, but still were usually still careful in our presence. I stood there stunned for a second as she hugged me. I hadn't noticed the extra heartbeat before that, but when she when she backed away, I noticed that her stomach was protruding slightly. She was pregnant.

To his credit, Christopher did not react in the slightest, and I recovered quickly in my surprise. Emily put her hand on her own stomach and nodded slightly, guessing that I had noticed.

"Wow, congratulations, Emily! And you, Sam!" I said. Christopher quietly echoed my sentiment. I took his hand and excused us, heading back to our borrowed bedroom. He sat down on the bed as I closed the door.

"Hey there," I said, sitting next to him. "Are you okay?"

He nodded, taking my hand and bringing it to his lips. "Yes. Just surprised. Shouldn't be though, I suppose."

"Me too, baby. That's okay." I put my hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly. "I love you. That was, um, something, earlier," I said with a smile.

He grinned, and wrapped his arms around my waist and in a flash, laid us on the bed with me underneath him. "It was, wasn't it?" he said before kissing me.

"Weren't you saying something about taking this off earlier?" I asked, running my hand along the fabric of my dress.

One of his hands was immediately under my skirt, the other feeling for the zipper along the back of the dress. "I was, wasn't I?" he whispered with his lips against my neck. "I can take care of that now."

"Ellie?" Christopher called to me from the bedroom while I fixed my hair. "Where in the hell is my tie? Have you seen it?"

I placed the last pin and sprayed my hair carefully. "You know," I said with a smirk, "for a vampire, you sure do have a case of man-eyes."

I grabbed the tie from the suitcase and held it up for him.

"I swear I looked there. Really," he said sheepishly.

"Mmhm. Come here," I said, pulling him toward me to kiss him before helping him with the tie.

"I can do this myself," he said with a grin.

"I know, but I like to do this. Hush." I kissed his cheek when I finished adjusting the knot.

He put his jacket on and turned around. "Will I pass inspection?"

"You'll do," I answered, my eyes lingered over him. He snaked his arms around my waist and kissed my cheek.

"You look gorgeous," he whispered.

"Thank you," I said, smiling. "You too."

He put his hand on my face and gently moved his thumb along my cheek. He was thinking about us going back to Boston after the wedding was over. I put my hand over his and turned to kiss his palm.

"We should get downstairs, honey," I said.

"After you," he said, opening the door. Seth was standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Hey guys! Ellie you look amazing!" he said with a huge smile. He hugged me when I got to him, and shook Christopher's hand. "Christopher, good to see you again."

"Hi Seth," he said. "Good to see you too. How's Jacob holding up?"

Seth laughed and shook his head. "He's going to pace a hole into Esme's porch."

"Can I help with anything?" Christopher asked.

"Nah it's okay, man. Thanks though. Sam is with him, he will talk him down."

We excused ourselves and found our way to our seats, filing in next to Rosalie and Emmett. Emmett nudged me with his elbow. "Glad you guys could make it," he said with an obnoxious grin.

"Oh shut up, Emmett. We're not late," I said.

"True. And you're dressed. Impressive. Heard you gave Sam quite a show the other night," he said, laughing.

"Shut. Up. Emmett," I fumed. Chris was trying not to laugh and failing, I could feel him shaking next to me as he put his hand over his face.

My parents took their seats, next to Billy, Charlie and Sue, in the row ahead of us, leaving two open seats for Edward and Bella. My mother turned around to give us a look. "Behave, please."

"Yes mom," Emmett and I said together, which made me laugh.

I leaned forward toward my parents. "How are they holding up?" I asked, nodding toward the empty seats.

My dad turned to answer me. "They are okay, I think. You can't hear Edward?"

I shook my head. "I assume he's got Bella blocking him, or us more likely."

"Ah. I should have figured that. Anyway, they're with Ness right now. Bella will be out momentarily, I would expect."

Bella came and took her seat, stopping along the way to give Billy a hug. I couldn't be sure, not being able to read her mind, but she looked like she was focusing very hard on her breathing to stay calm. I heard Jacob notice the same, and he smiled slightly at her.

_Jacob better watch it, she might change her mind and take him out before she gets down the aisle, _Christopher thought. I elbowed him. I was suddenly aware that Bella had lifted her shield over Edward's mind; he too was struggling a bit as he and Nessie stood out of sight, waiting for their cue. We stood when the processional began.

Chris put his hands on my waist, standing behind me as we watched them come down the aisle. The ceremony was short and simple, incorporating some traditional Quileute elements. After the reception, a few members of the pack headed to the middle of the huge backyard to build a bonfire, which Alice had decided would be a hit among the crowd. Chris took off his jacket and rolled his sleeves up to go help.

The newlyweds had slipped into the house for a few minutes while everyone shifted over toward the bonfire setup. When they re-emerged, Nessie had changed into a lightweight sundress, and Jacob had ditched the tux in favor of shorts. The guests cheered and clapped for them when they joined us. When they reached the middle of the crowd, Jacob picked her up to kiss her, then let her go, only for her to be swept up into congratulatory hugs all around.

I sat down on one of the logs that Emmett had set up here earlier, looking for my husband. I scanned the crowd quickly before heard his mind; he was walking up behind me.

_Looking for someone? _he thought.I looked up at him and smiled, pulling on his arm, wordlessly asking him to come sit by me. He complied, and draped his arm around my shoulders, his other arm in my lap, holding my one of my hands.

I leaned against him, my unclaimed hand lightly moving up and down his forearm. "What are you thinking about?" he whispered in my ear.

"Nothing really," I answered, smiling at him. "It's just kind of remarkable how all of these people have come together now, though, isn't it?"

He nodded. "There's just something about you Cullens," he said, kissing my forehead. I chuckled quietly. Emily came to sit down on the other end of the log. She looked exhausted.

"Emily," I called to her. "Do you want to go in and lie down?" I nodded toward the house. "You look tired."

She put her hand on her stomach, grimacing slightly, and nodded reluctantly. "Thank you, Ellie, that's a good idea." I stood and walked over to her.

"Come on, we'll find you a quiet spot. Do you want Chris to go tell Sam you've gone in?"

"If you don't mind, Christopher," she answered with a small smile. "Please tell him not to worry though; I'm fine, really. Just tired, I wear out a lot more easily lately."

"Don't worry, I will," Christopher returned her smile and turned to go find Sam.

Emily and I walked slowly toward the house, and I showed her to the living room on the other side, where hopefully there wouldn't be too much noise carrying over from the revelry outside. She stretched out on the sofa, while I went to find her a blanket.

"I will get you some water, too, okay? Are you hungry or do you need anything else?"

She shook her head, "No, thank you so much Ellie."

I came back with a glass and a large bottle of water so that she could refill without getting up if she needed more. "You sure you're okay?" I asked as I sat down on the table across from her as I put the water down.

"I am, really. Thank you." She smiled at me.

"Okay. If you need anything, I can hear you from out there okay?" She nodded slowly, opening her mouth as if to speak, and then closing it again. I could hear the thought forming; she wasn't sure how to say what was on her mind.

"Ellie?" she said quietly after a moment.

"Yeah?"

"Um, you looked so taken aback for a second yesterday...I just wanted to ap-"

"Not necessary, Emily," I said, holding out my hand. "I was hoping you didn't notice, but please don't feel badly."

She smiled. "Okay, good. I asked Nessie, if you were upset. She said no, but that you and Chris had been sort of um, talking about it lately."

"Ah," I hesitated. "Well, yeah sort of. It's complicated."

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me," she said.

"No, it's not that. We weren't really _planning_ anything like that, but we had a, um...miscarriage, several months ago." I grimaced slightly as I said this.

Her eyes widened, and she gave a sad smile. "I'm sorry, Ellie. I never would have said anything..."

I shook my head. "It's okay, really."

"Do you think you might try again? " she asked, apologizing again immediately. "Sorry! That's totally not my business."

"Well we're not _not _trying. There's not a lot of effective vampire-birth control methods out there," I said with a laugh.

She laughed at this as well. "I guess not. Chris can hear us can't he? Is he okay with you talking about all this?"

"Please. Everyone knows everything in this family, he's fine." He was. I could hear his thoughts he was listening to our conversation in spite of himself, curious. "Anyway. Alice occasionally has this vision; it's a baby boy. Looks _just_ like Christopher. She apparently saw it for the first time the day I lost the pregnancy, but Edward surmised from the beginning that perhaps she stopped seeing it because it wasn't that baby. If that makes sense?"

I looked up to see Emily staring with rapt attention, and continued to tell her about our follow-ups with Carlisle and my medically trained siblings.

"Wow," she said. "So, Alice thinks there will be a baby at some point?"

"Apparently. Or at least her visions do."

"Any idea when?"

I shook my head. "Nope. It's all very vague. And moderately terrifying."

She chuckled. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I think this whole thing can be scary for everyone. I know it scares _me_."

"Huh. You know I hadn't really ever thought about that. My experience with it is so extreme..." I said. And horrific, I thought to myself.

"So, do you want it to happen?" she asked.

"That's a loaded question," I said with a laugh. "If everything was okay? I guess so. I mean, Christopher would be such an amazing father..."

She nodded. "He would you know." I smiled when she said this, and was going to say something else, but stopped short. I started to see a vision forming in Alice's head, but it snapped out of my mind just as quickly as it appeared.

Emily looked at me curiously, noticing my distraction.

"That was weird," I mused, shaking my head.

"What?"

"I'm not sure exactly. I _thought_ Alice was having a vision, but then it was gone. Poof, out of my head," I said, confused. "I should leave you be to get some rest though. It sounds like they are going to be out there for quite a while."

Emily yawned. "Okay. Thanks Ellie," she said tiredly.

"No problem," I smiled as I stood. I walked back out to the yard, where Chris was waiting for me, a strange expression on his face.

He scooped me into a tight hug, pulling back only so that he could kiss me. He tangled his fingers in my hair, keeping my face against his. I struggled a bit to move my mouth away when I needed to take a breath.

"Hi," I gasped.

"Sorry," he said, smiling brightly. "Hi." He kissed me again, and again he seemed to forget that breathing wasn't optional for _half _vampires.

"Christopher," I said, breathing hard. "What has gotten into you?"

"We need to go see Alice," he said simply. He grabbed my hand and pulled me across the lawn where Alice, Edward and Bella were waiting.

"Ellie!" Alice squealed. "I saw him again!"

"Who?" I asked, utterly confused now.

"Him!" she repeated. "The _baby,_" she whispered when I still didn't catch on.

"What?" I asked, still bewildered.

"When you were talking to Emily. I saw it. It's really clear now," she said

"What?" I said again. "Why didn't I see it? I started to, but then it was gone. I didn't know what it was even."

"Sorry Ellie, that was me," Bella said. "Edward asked me to block Alice from you just in case..."

"Just in case what? There was something bad?" I asked stupidly.

She nodded.

"So, was there? Something bad?" I looked around and everyone was smiling. "I'm guessing not, but no one is really _telling_ me anything here," I huffed.

Christopher wrapped his arms around my waist from behind me and hugged me. "No sweetheart, there wasn't anything bad," he whispered in my ear. I sighed and put my hand to his face.

"Can I see now?" I asked my sister. Before I could finish the question, the scene filled my head. Christopher was rocking a tiny, brown-haired baby, wrapped in a blue blanket. He came to sit by me, lying in our bed in our house in Boston, and handed me the bundle, kissing me lightly. There was snow falling outside, the baby would be born in winter then. I stood there stunned; this vision was so much clearer than it had been previously.

"When?" I whispered.

"Soon, I think. I mean, he will be born in winter, you saw the snow, right? I'd say it's soon, based on how clear it is," she replied. No one said anything. I could feel their eyes on me.

"Ellie?" Chris whispered. I looked up at him, still dazed. "Can you show me?"

I felt Christopher tense as the images filled his head.

"Oh my god," he said. "That's amazing."

Alice had a strange expression, I realized she was seeing more but I was again blocked from her mind.

"Alice?" I said. "Is there more?"

She nodded. "Do you want to know now, or later? It's nothing bad. But I would imagine this is a little...overwhelming at the moment."

"Yeah. Can we talk more tomorrow? I kind of need to process this, I think," I said quietly.

"Of course, we will talk tomorrow." She smiled at me and headed back toward where Jasper stood. Bella and Edward followed, leaving us standing alone.

"Hey," he said, turning me to face him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I said, smiling a little. "Just a little shocked." I put my hand up to his cheek. His eyes were shining, he looked as though he could barely contain his excitement and I couldn't stop myself from smiling back. "You look so happy."

"Are you?" he asked. I thought about this for a second.

I nodded slowly. "You know, I think I am. I'm shocked, but at least right now it looks like everything will work out okay. And anything that makes you _this_ happy makes me happy too."

He kissed me, not as urgently this time, but it still took my breath away. "What do you say we call it a night," he whispered against my lips.

"I think that sounds like a fantastic idea," I answered him. He picked me up and ran toward the house, gently laying me down on the bed in the guest room we currently occupied.

A few hours later, I rolled off of him, breathing hard. He hugged me to his side before rolling slightly to face me, his hand on my face. "I love you," he said.

"I love you too, Chris," I said, smiling at him. "Listen, when I talk to Alice, I'm going to ask her for details, if she can give them, that is. I think...I think I need to know as much as possible," I said. "I want to ask you though, how much _you_ want to know."

He thought about this, and while he pondered his hand lightly moved down my arm, before lacing his fingers through mine. He brought my hand to his lips and kissed my palm.

"I think I want to know too, the details. This is all exciting now but it's still abstract, you know? You're not pregnant _now_. You're healthy and strong and I can see you here in front of me, perfect. I don't know what this experience will be like for you, and that is scary for _me_, let alone what it must be for you. I want to know too, and I will do everything I can to make this easy for you."

I smiled. "I love you. And we will talk to Alice tomorrow," I whispered as I leaned up to kiss him goodnight.

The next morning, Christopher and I got up early, having decided that we would ask Alice to speak with us right away. Shortly after we were dressed she knocked on the door.

"Morning!" She said brightly. "So you guys want to talk?"

"Is this okay Alice? I don't expect you to be able to answer everything, and I don't want to be a pest," I said hesitantly.

"Don't be ridiculous. I've already seen that this makes you feel better," she said with a wink. "As it happens, your talk last night, and your decision to ask me questions, triggered several other visions. So I've got more information now than I did 10 hours ago. What do you want to know?"

I looked at Christopher, suddenly not sure where to begin.

"Well," he said, taking my hand, "can you tell how similar the, um, pregnancy will be to say, Bella's?"

She smiled gently. "I can, actually, and it won't be really. Only in that it will be shorter than a human pregnancy. _But_ it will be longer than the hybrid pregnancies we've seen."

"I'm sorry, you said longer? By how much?" I said, leaning toward my sister, interest combining with utter disbelief.

"I'm not exactly sure, but it looks like you will be pregnant by late summer, and have the baby before Christmas.

"Late summer?" Christopher asked, surprised. We were already halfway through July.

"Have you told Dad any of this?" I asked suddenly, feeling stupid that I hadn't thought to include him in these conversations before now.

She laughed. "Yeah. I mentioned it to him last night, I hope that's okay."

"It's fine. I feel like a moron though for not thinking about that until just now, is all," I said. I looked at Christopher hesitantly. He knew what the biggest potential issue here was, and I needed to ask about it. We didn't know what vampire venom, when injected directly into my bloodstream, would mean for me. Which means we didn't know what _delivery_ would mean for me. The hybrids we knew of were born after either the baby bit it's way out, or someone on the outside did it instead.

"So...," I said, pausing to take a deep breath. "About the birth. Have you seen that at all?"

She nodded, waiting for my question.

"Is _that_ more like a human delivery?" I asked, hoping she understood. In her vision, I didn't _look_ like I'd been recently cut (or chewed - I shuddered at that thought) open in her vision. Chris took my hand.

"No cutting," she said, smiling broadly at me; _or chewing_, she thought, as if she read _my_ mind.

"Wait," I said in disbelief, Christopher's hand tightening on mine, "_Really_?"

"Really. For all intents and purposes your pregnancy should be fairly normal. You and Christopher are more compatible than a full human and a vampire, so your body can accommodate the pregnancy better," she explained. "Or at least that's Carlisle's theory after I told him what I'd seen."

Christopher put his head down and kissed my shoulder, relief in his thoughts. I didn't say anything at first; I was shocked by what she was telling me.

"Ellie," Alice said. "Things can always change, but I am very certain that everything will be okay." _He's beautiful, Ellie. You guys are going to be amazing parents._

"Thank you Alice," I said, reaching out to hug my sister, tears streaming from my eyes. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome. I will leave you guys to process, unless you have anything else you want to know?"

"Do you know his name?" Chris asked, looking up.

"I do," she said with a sly smile. "But that I'm not telling," she added, getting up to leave.

"Fair enough," he replied. "Thank you." He stood and hugged her too. She was as much his sister after all of these years as she was mine. She kissed his cheek and placed her tiny hand on his face and whispered, "It will be fine, Chris. I promise."

When she closed the door behind her he pulled me down on top of him, kissing me. "Can you believe that? After all that worry?" he gasped. "I love you so much."

I kissed him back, groaning slightly at the feeling of his hands on me. I pulled back slightly to look at him, taking in the joy and relief on his face. "I love you too," I whispered, my fingers in his hair. "It all seems too easy. I can't quite believe it."

His kissed me once. "I know baby," he said, hugging me tightly. "But it's going to be okay," he said.

I smiled. "I know."

"So, I guess we have some work to do, huh?" he asked, flashing a sexy grin.

"Seems like it," I said, kissing him again. He rolled us over so that he was over top of me. I moved my knees apart so he could lay himself between them, pressing against me. I tangled my fingers in his hair, our lips moving together feverishly, and moved my hips up to meet his. Suddenly, I pulled away, leaving him looking momentarily stunned.

"Sorry," I gasped. "My father," I mouthed to him, nodding my head toward the door. My father had just decided he wanted to check in after our conversation with Alice, not noticing that we were otherwise occupied.

"Fuck," he whispered, climbing off of me and standing to straighten his shirt and pants. He held his hand out to me to help me stand as well. Feeling awkward, I led Chris out to the kitchen to meet Carlisle halfway.

"Hey Ellie," he said. "Christopher. Do you guys have a minute?"

"Sure Daddy, what's up?" I said. He gestured toward the table and we sat down.

"Actually," he said, reconsidering. "Would you rather we talk upstairs in my office?"

"Is this about what Alice saw?" I asked, more for Christopher's sake than mine.

"Yes," he answered.

"Honestly, it's not like people won't hear the conversation regardless, so I don't particularly care," I said.

"Doesn't matter to me, either," Christopher said.

"Fair point, Ellie," my father conceded. "Anyway, I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"Okay, still processing, I think," I answered him.

"I would guess so. I'm going to be honest, I'm equally surprised and somewhat relieved with what Alice has seen. I can't believe now that it never occurred to me that you both being at least half-vampire would actually make things easier," he said, pausing for a moment to collect his thoughts.

"Carlisle," Christopher said. "What about hunting, once she's pregnant?"

"That's a good question," Carlisle answered, looking at me. "Ellie, I think that at least once we've confirmed a pregnancy, again assuming nothing changes, that we should start you back on donated blood. Just as a precaution, but I think all around that makes the most sense."

I nodded. "Okay," I said again.

Chris and I decided that we would head back to Boston for a while later that evening, after Nessie and Jacob left for their honeymoon. They waited a day before leaving to spend some more time with their out-of-town guests. We made arrangements for our New Hampshire house to be cleaned and closed up after the last of the guests left.

We said goodbye to the newlyweds and the rest of the family before setting off, and were quiet for a while on the drive. Christopher was thinking over the conversations about our near future.

I looked over at him. "You okay?"

He smiled brilliantly in return. "I am, you?"

I smiled back. "Me too."

Christopher flew down the road toward Boston so fast I had to call out several warnings to him about nearby cops.

"Christopher," I scolded. "I appreciate your urgency here, but having to talk a cop _out_ of arresting you for trying to triple the speed limit is going to delay us a lot more than just slowing down a touch, you know."

"Fine," he said with a dramatic sigh, letting his foot off the gas. He looked over at me then with a devilish grin. "Though I bet you could make a _very_ convincing argument on my behalf."

"You're impossible. Just drive," I said, shaking my head and laughing.

"That's what I'm trying to do!" he exclaimed innocently. He took my hand and put it to his lips. "I hope you're not planning to leave the bedroom for a while once we get there, Mrs. Dawling," he said in a husky voice that sent shivers down my spine.

"You mean we will make it that far?" I said with a grin.

He chuckled, his hand moving to my leg. "I'm sure we will get there eventually." He was already imagining what he wanted to do when we got to the house, and my lips parted slightly in anticipation.

He weaved skillfully through the city. I knew he could find his way through the tiny streets with his eyes closed. Sometimes when we were in the city, he thought about how it has changed over the course of his two-and-a-half centuries. It fascinated me to see the world through his eyes, both human and vampire.

Today, however, he was strictly focused on our very immediate future. When he parked the car in the garage, I could see that he wanted me to wait for him to come around before I got out. By the time I unfastened my seatbelt he was opening the door and pulling me close to him.

He scooped me up and pressed his mouth to mine, his lips moving so furiously that I had trouble keeping up. He could easily support me with one of his arms, and his other hand was under my skirt once we were inside the door, I groaned when I felt his fingers against my skin.

One of my hands was firmly entangled in his hair, while I unbuttoned his shirt as far as I could, not easy to do with him holding me so tightly against him. I ran my hand over his chest, my fingers curling into him slightly as he pushed into me with his. He made it as far as the stairs, stopping on the landing on the second floor to press my back against the wall.

I squeezed his body closer to me with my legs, and he grunted as he entered me. With his hands on my ass, he drove into me frantically. We came together quickly, and he kissed me tenderly as our movements slowed. After a moment, he carried me like that the rest of the way to our room, sitting down on the bed. I moved over him now much more slowly, both of us breathing heavily and concentrating on the feeling of our bodies moving together.

He gently placed his hands on either side of my face, cradling my face carefully like that as we moved, leaning his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes and concentrated on showing him just how much I loved him, trying to communicate with my thoughts as well as my body all the things I was never able to adequately put into words.

"Oh my god, Ellie," he gasped. I kept it up and he moaned, pulling my face to his to kiss me hard. He moved faster beneath me, and I rocked harder into him in response. I could feel his body starting to tremble, and I thought now of how our bodies together made me feel.

"Fuck," he grunted against my lips. He turned us over so that he was on top of me now, taking me roughly on the bed, holding my legs up against his hips so he could thrust deeper. I moaned loudly and thrashed my head wildly against the bed as he slammed into me, and I could feel my climax building. He sensed that I was close and changed his rhythm, pulling back slowly and then crashing into me. I whimpered, begging for him to move faster. He grunted at the sound of my pleading and slammed into me faster again, coming with a strangled cry, sending me over the edge with him. After a moment, he moved back against the pillows, beckoning me to follow him. I did so, and lay back against the pillow next to him. He propped himself on his elbow and kissed me lightly.

"So," he whispered, unbuttoning my shirt, which somehow had yet to be removed. "That was new."

I giggled.

"I was more than a little surprised by that, you know," he said with a grin.

"I noticed. So was I, actually," I said. "Turns out it's pretty easy to do in that circumstance."

"Really?" he murmured, intrigued, his hand slipping under my back to unhook my bra as he leaned down for an intense kiss.

"Mmm," I murmured, kissing him back. "Really. Want me to show you again?"

"Oh god," he groaned as I assaulted his mind with memories from a few minutes ago. He crushed himself against me, covering my mouth with his.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38. Symptoms.

I woke up feeling groggy. I opened my eyes slowly, feeling Christopher's skin beneath me.

"Morning love," he whispered, noticing that I was awake. "Did you sleep well?"

I stretched and then pulled myself up on my elbows. "I did," I answered him, leaning to kiss him. His response was immediate, but he surprised me when he pulled back after a moment, taking my face in his hand.

"We promised Nessie and Jacob we would pick them up this morning, remember?" he said, raising his eyebrow. They were flying into Boston to visit with us before heading back to New Hampshire.

"Damn it," I grumbled. "Yeah of course I remember." We'd been in Boston for nearly four weeks, and we'd spent that time almost entirely alone. So far, there had been no signs that anything was physically amiss, though Christopher was constantly on the lookout for any indication that I was downplaying anything. I had to remind myself that he was just worried, and not without reason. I looked at him lying beneath me now and his expression was wary.

"What?" I said.

"Nothing," he answered.

"Chris, how many bars of that particular sonata am I going to hear in your head before you fess up?" I said, raising my eyebrow.

He rolled his eyes. "Touché," he replied and looked at me appraisingly. "Ellie, how are you feeling? You fell asleep really early last night, while we were downstairs."

"I did?" I asked, thinking back to the night before. We were lying together on the couch, watching a movie. I remembered feeling thoroughly relaxed with my head against his chest and his arms around me. I could not recall anything about the movie. He must have carried me up to bed.

"Huh. Sorry about that," I said.

He chuckled, shaking his head. "Why are you apologizing? I'm only mentioning it in case anything feels...off today. I thought I was going to have to wake you up this morning so we wouldn't be late."

"Ah," I said, understanding breaking through my morning haze. "I feel okay. A little groggy, but if I slept that long..." I said, trailing off with a shrug.

He put his hand on my cheek and looked at me for a moment. "Sweetheart, do you think we should call your dad?" he asked quietly.

"Oh," I said, not sure how to answer him. I sat up slowly, paying close attention to how I felt. "Chris, I feel fine. Really, I don't think that's necessary."

His mouth set in a line, he wanted to push the issue, but decided to let it drop, for now. "Okay. But the moment something changes," he said before I interrupted.

"I know; we will call." I kissed him quickly and then pulled on his hands. "Come on, I thought we were trying not to be late," I said. He smiled and sat up with me, squeezing my hands.

"I love you Ellie," he said leaning in to kiss me.

"I love you too, Chris," I replied, kissing him back before standing up. We got dressed and walked downstairs without speaking. He continued to shoot worried glances toward me, as if I would suddenly lose my balance or worse, be overcome with pain like before. I shuddered slightly at the thought.

"What was that?" he asked, missing nothing.

"Nothing," I said. "What time does their flight arrive?"

"In an hour, we should get going. Traffic will probably be a nightmare," he said, mercifully allowing the subject to change.

He was right, the rain made the drive to the airport slower than usual, but we were able to park and get to the baggage area before their plane was scheduled to land. We had checked before leaving the house and the flight was listed as 'on time' despite the miserable weather, but now the status flashed 'Delayed' on the update screen. Christopher put his arm around my shoulders.

"Guess we will be here awhile," he said, kissing the top of my head.

"Guess so," I said. We walked along the terminal, sitting down at a small table outside of a coffee shop.

"Want anything?" he said, looking over at the counter.

I shook my head, closing my eyes for a moment. The din of thoughts in the crowded airport seemed louder than usual in my mind. It was giving me a headache.

"Ellie?" Christopher said. "You okay, babe?"

"Headache," I mumbled.

"That's it," he said leaning across the tiny table, his voice barely a whisper. "When we leave I'm calling your dad. You have a _headache_?"

I nodded, my hand over my eyes now. "Too much noise," I said, tapping the side of my head.

"Do you want to go back to the car?" he asked, concerned.

"No. Look," I said, forcing my eyes upward to meet his gaze, cringing slightly under the bright fluorescent lights. "Can we call Dad later? I mean, yes we will call him, but not right this minute? Please? I'm sure Alice has already told him if something is up..."

"Ellie," he said sternly.

"Christopher," I pleaded. "Please, just a couple hours? I don't want to dive right into all of this before Nessie and Jacob even have a chance to catch their breath from traveling." They were planning to stay a night or two with us before re-emerging into the fray that is our extended family.

He sighed. "Fine. You have until tonight." His eyes were anxious.

I reached my hand across the table and took hold of his. "Thank you, Christopher," I whispered. "I know we need to talk to him, but I need just a little time first." The likelihood that the oddities of today, however slight, meant that Alice's predictions were beginning to come true was starting to freak me out a bit. His expression softened, understanding dawning in his eyes. He said nothing for a few minutes, reaching across the small table between us to touch my face.

"How's your head?" he asked, gently.

The pulsing in my mind had eased some. "A little better at the moment," I answered him. I heard his phone buzz in his pocket. He took it out and glanced down.

"They've landed, and are on their way off the plane," he said, reading the message. He looked up at me, mentally assessing my condition. "Are you alright to walk back to the baggage claim?"

"I think so," I said, standing slowly. Everything felt okay, much to my own surprise, so I took his hand and we walked at a leisurely pace toward where Jacob and Nessie would be meeting us once they cleared customs. Christopher was trying to control his thoughts but I could tell he was equally nervous and excited. He was worried that his scattered emotions would be overwhelming for me.

"Christopher," I said quietly as we walked. "It's okay. You're entitled to your feelings. If it makes you feel better, I feel pretty much the same way," I said, truthfully. I wanted Carlisle to confirm what we suspected, and for Alice's visions to come to pass, but I was also scared that something would go wrong.

He glanced over at me and smiled. "I love you," he said.

"I love you, too," I responded. We slowed our pace as we reached the carousel for Nessie and Jacob's flight. He draped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to him, and I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Hey guys!" Nessie cried a few minutes later. We turned around and saw the couple heading toward us. Christopher let go of me and I walked toward them to hug my niece. A few steps in and vertigo hit, the ground swaying beneath my feet. I was too far away for Christopher to catch me without being seen by the crowd, but warm hands grabbed my arms, keeping me upright.

"Whoa, Ellie," Jacob said, keeping hold of me until Christopher reached me a second later. "What gives?"

"Ellie's feeling a little off today," Christopher explained, his hands replacing Jacob's. "Hi guys," he greeted them.

"Ellie!" Nessie squealed, hugging me carefully. _Are you pregnant?_ she thought excitedly.

"Don't know yet," I answered weakly. "It's looking like maybe."

"Let's get out of here, and we can talk more," Jacob said, taking his wife's arm to lead her from the airport.

I moved to pick up one of the bags and Christopher snatched it away from me. "No way. You focus on staying upright," he whispered in my ear, wrapping his other arm around my waist as we walked. Nessie and I sat together in the car and she enthusiastically filled me in on the details of their trip. They traveled through England and France, spent time in Prague and Vienna. She talked excitedly, not bothering to take my hand to show me what she described since I could see it in her head.

"I will have to show you later, Uncle Chris," she added.

"Sounds good Ness," he said, smiling a little at her in the rear view mirror. He looked distracted; I knew he had hardly heard her. He cleared his throat, trying to focus on the conversation at hand. "You know," he added with a smirk, "Your Uncle Emmett will be surprised that you had any time for site seeing at all."

I laughed at this, and Jacob said nothing, his mouth set in a line. I could see the corners of his lips twitching like he was trying very hard not to laugh. The pair of them simultaneously thought back to what was apparently one particularly adventurous evening, graphic memories filled my head.

"Whoa," I cringed. "You'll want to get a handle on that before you see Edward." I shook my head to clear it.

Nessie blushed. "Oops. Sorry," she said.

"Incidentally," I said, moving on. "We may be heading back up there sooner than planned. We have to call Carlisle to tell him about...everything." I waved my hand in front of me, indicating the series of odd symptoms I'd experienced today.

Nessie nodded. "That's okay Ellie, we can go back whenever you have to go."

I smiled at her. "Thanks." I was feeling tired then, and put my head back, closing my eyes. I was aware that Christopher was watching me as he continued to speak to our guests.

"So Jacob," he said. "Are you ready to go back to the madhouse?"

Jacob laughed. "Yeah, more or less. I am glad that we will be staying with Carlisle and Esme for a while at least instead of Edward and Bella."

"Can't imagine why," I said, my voice muffled by my hand that was over my eyes now.

Jacob and Nessie both chuckled at that. "Exactly," Jacob said.

Chris wound our way through our neighborhood, pulling into the garage. He helped our guests gather their bags, still not letting me carry anything and showed then up to their room. He came back down to where I was sitting now on the couch and cautiously appraised my position; my feet up on the sofa with my head resting on my knees, which I had pulled to my chest. I felt his hand on my back as his sat beside me.

"Ellie?" He whispered.

"Call Dad," I said quietly. I saw his eyes crease with worry when I looked up. I shook my head, wanting to allay his fear. "No, Chris, I'm okay, just a little queasy. But I think you were right and we should call now. I don't want to go up there until tomorrow though, okay?"

He nodded, pulling out his phone. I heard my father answer on the first ring. "Hi Carlisle. Do you have a moment?" Christopher said. "Thanks. Have you talked to Alice today? No? Yes, it's Ellie. She's okay, but she's definitely been off today," he said, explaining my unusual symptoms.

Nessie crept into the room and Chris stood to finish his conversation in the other room, motioning for Nessie to take his place. I felt her sit and lightly place an arm around my shoulders.

_Can I do anything Ellie?_ She thought. I shook my head.

"No. I'm okay. Or I will be. Just a little queasy," I mumbled into my arms. I took a few deep breaths and looked up slowly, it seemed like the feeling was passing.

"Better?" Nessie asked gently. I nodded slowly.

"Yeah," I said.

"Was it like this before?" she asked.

"Not exactly," I recalled. "I was a little woozy and then I was okay, and a couple hours later it all went to hell." I cringed at the memory of the piercing pain in my stomach. "My memory is a little hazy after that, Daddy went a little nuts with the morphine."

Jacob chuckled at this, remembering his injuries after the battle with the newborns. "Are you hungry Ellie?" he asked softly.

I thought about this. "Maybe?"

Christopher came back in the room then, having hung up with my dad. "Do you want to try eating something, honey? Or..." He thought of the freezer downstairs. Since we didn't know _when_ Alice's predictions would come true, my father had obtained a small stash of donated blood, which Christopher kept in the basement.

"Give me a little while first, okay? I'm not sure yet," I answered, smiling at him as convincingly as I could. "What did my dad say?"

"You weren't listening?" he asked. I shook my head.

"I was to busy trying not to be sick," I said. He smiled a little.

"True. Your dad is coming down to take some blood," Christopher explained. "He should be able to confirm later today."

I nodded, sighing. The blood draws really weren't fun. He had done it a few times after the miscarriage. We discovered that needles can penetrate my skin, but it had to be done very precisely or the instrument would break. As skilled as my father was, it still took effort for him to carefully get the needle into my veins to draw out my blood. I stood up slowly, suddenly feeling like I needed to move. Chris tensed, ready to grab me if I was unsteady. I reached out to him and hugged him tightly.

"It's okay," I said, stroking his hair as I pulled him to me. "Really." He exhaled, holding me against his body, more gently than usual.

_I know_, he thought. Jacob and Nessie decided to take a walk to give us a little privacy. I felt Chris nod to them as they walked out.

"I feel bad," I said. "What obnoxious timing."

His body shook a little as he laughed quietly. "I know. Come on, let's get some air," he said, leading me out to the patio. He sat down on one of the chairs and pulled me into his lap.

"So," he said, with his lips against my ear. "What's new?"

I laughed, turning my head to kiss him. He placed his hands lightly against my abdomen.

"Seriously though," he said. "How are you?"

I knew this time he didn't mean physically. I leaned my head back against him.

"I'm okay. Actually, I'm more than okay," I said, putting my hands over his. "I think I'm actually starting to believe it all now."

I looked at his face and he smiled brilliantly, kissing my forehead. "Me too, love," he said.

All of a sudden, I felt the smallest twinge from deep within, so slight that I doubted that a human would be able to feel it. I stared at where our hands were joined for a moment, and then looked at him with tears in my eyes.

"Chris, I think I can feel it," I gasped, correcting myself as the image of the boy flashed in my head. "_Him_. I can feel him."

I felt it again, as if someone was lightly brushing a feather across my abdomen from the inside. Chris stared at me, speechless. He reached up to brush the tears from my cheeks with his fingers, bring my face to his and kissing me, gently, but with a building intensity that left me breathing hard when our lips parted. His hand still on my face, he rested his forehead against mine, breathing fast as well.

"Um, Chris?" I said hesitantly.

"Yeah?" he answered, looking me in the eye. I didn't speak for a moment, instead playing with the collar of his shirt nervously.

"Do you think we will be able to um..." I trailed off.

He raised his eyebrows, understanding immediately. "I have no idea. I hope so," he said with a laugh. "On the other hand though..." I saw in his mind that the idea made him a little nervous. He kissed me again. "One thing at a time, okay? I will ask your dad, if you'd like."

I nodded. "Thank you," I whispered, kissing him again. He responded enthusiastically, almost as if he had forgotten his anxiety from a moment ago. He sighed against my lips, wrapping his arms around me. I turned so that I was almost facing him, not able to turn all the way around in the small chair. I ran my fingers through his hair, holding his face to mine, my lips leaving his to kiss along his jaw and neck. I felt his hand on the back of my head as my mouth moved along his skin, his fingers kneading in my hair. His hand moved to the side of my face, urging me to look up and crushing his lips to mine again when I complied. His lips moved furiously against mine for several minutes, before his fevered kisses were replaced with slow, gentle ones. Reluctantly, he pulled away, once again breathing hard, hugging me to his chest. We stayed like that until I could hear my parents' thoughts approaching.

"Mom and Dad are just about here," I said to him. He exhaled and squeezed me gently before unwinding his arms, taking hold of my hands to help me stand.

"Here we go," he said, kissing me once. We walked back into the house and downstairs to the main level to greet my parents. My mother immediately grabbed me into a gentle hug when she walked in, kissing my cheek.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, pulling back to look me over.

"I'm okay, Mom," I said laughing. "Hi Dad," I said, looking over my mother's shoulder.

"Hi sweetheart," he said.

Christopher led us into the sitting room just inside from the entryway. I sat down on one of the couches, next to my mother, who still held tight one of my hands. My father sat opposite us and Christopher stood in front of the fireplace, his arms crossed and an anxious expression on his face.

"Ellie, I want to do a blood draw and talk a little bit about your day today," my father said in a soft but experienced tone, sounding more doctor than parent at the moment. "Do you have a preference as to which we do first?"

"Blood draw. Lets get that over with," I said, making a face.

"Okay," he said, opening his bag. He took out his supplies and set to work. I gritted my teeth, holding onto my mother's hand tightly while he carefully worked the needle in. It didn't hurt exactly, but it wasn't a pleasant feeling as he used all of his surgical skills to insert the instrument without breaking it. I tried to ignore Christopher's thoughts, I could see through his eyes how he watched every subtle movement my father made as he worked. When he finished, I looked up at Christopher, his muscles relaxed immediately. I held my other hand out, beckoning him to sit next to me on the other side of the sofa. He complied, taking my hand and sitting down, and my mother released the hand she had been holding, rubbing my back gently instead. My father carefully packed the samples he had taken in a small cooler. He looked at me and smiled before speaking.

"Okay, Ellie. Can you tell me how you've felt today?"

I described my conversation with Chris when I woke up, the headache in the airport and the slight nausea when we got home. I told him about the sensation of faint movement as well. Despite Alice's predictions, he was still concerned that this pregnancy might take a turn like Bella's, advancing more quickly than my body could handle.

He nodded. "So far sounds pretty normal, relatively speaking of course, and that's good. I did speak with Alice before we left and she hasn't seen any changes, which is also good." He paused for a moment. "If it's okay, I'd like to do a quick exam, just of your abdomen and see if we can get a guess of his size. I know that measurements might not mean too much yet, but it will give us a baseline."

"Okay," I said. My mom moved and I laid myself back on the couch, pulling my shirt up slightly. Chris looked at me and his eyes were wide with shock for a moment.

"Well I'll be damned," he muttered, staring at my stomach. Neither of us had noticed until now, but there was a very slight rounding of my abdomen that wasn't usually there. Carlisle measured quickly, guessing that the fetus was roughly equivalent to one 12 weeks along in a human pregnancy.

"Shit," I said, fixing my shirt and sitting up. "Really?"

He chuckled. "Really. We should get an idea of his growth rate over the next couple of weeks. I doubt we will have to do any more blood work to be honest."

"Yay!" I said.

"Speaking of which," he went on, speaking sternly. "I want you to start on the donated blood to keep your strength up. No hunting."

"Okay. Any other restrictions?" I asked, thinking back to the conversation Chris and I had earlier.

Carlisle shook his head. I could hear in his mind that he knew what I was really asking. "Not at this point. As long as you are comfortable and not having any problems. As he gets bigger and if your symptoms become more pronounced, we can revisit that. For now, acting normally will probably be a good thing, within reason."

I caught the corners of Christopher's mouth twitching slightly at this. We talked for a little while longer with my parents, before my father stood to bring the car around. He didn't really need to get the car for my mother, but he wanted an excuse to talk to Christopher alone. He asked Christopher to walk with him and Chris rose to follow him out the door. My mother hugged me to her again.

"Congratulations, sweetie. I don't think we've said that yet," she said. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize mom," I replied, hugging her back. "And thank you."

"So, Alice sees a boy?" she asked.

I nodded. "She does. He looks so much like Chris," I answered, looking up at the painting on the wall.

She beamed at me, but I could hear concern in her mind. "How are you really?" she asked. "Are you alright?"

"Yes Mom, I'm okay. Really. I figure I'm already doing better than last time, right?" I mused. "I mean, I'm a little nervous. I'm a little worried about how Chris is going to deal with everything, but that's all normal, right?"

"Absolutely. You and Chris will be fine. He loves you," she said soothingly.

"I know," I said. "But I know how worried he gets..." I shook my head. We chatted idly for several minutes until I heard my husband and father getting closer to the house. They didn't seem to be speaking, and I couldn't tell what they discussed, but Christopher's mind was calm, and excited even, so it must have been okay. We said our goodbyes to my parents a few minutes later; they were sorry to have missed Nessie and Jacob who had not yet returned, but my father needed to run the tests on the samples of my blood.

After we heard the car drive off, Chris took me gently into his arms. "So, normal activity, huh?" he said, leaning down to kiss me. I kissed him back, my arms around his neck. He pulled his face back slowly, cupping mine with his hand and brushing my cheek with this thumb. "Nessie and Jacob will probably be back soon," he said. They had been gone for a few hours now; Nessie had sent me a message that they decided to see a movie while they were out. "How are you?"

"I'm good," I said. "I feel like we passed the first test or something."

He laughed. "I know."

"You don't have to tell me, but I'm curious. What did Carlisle want to talk to you about?" I asked.

He smiled, his hand still on my face. "Why wouldn't I tell you?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I just want you to know that I won't be upset if you don't want to."

He kissed me. "You're funny. He just wanted to give me a chance to ask any questions that hadn't been asked already, on the off chance that there was something _I_ needed to discuss in private. Which, there wasn't, for the record," he explained. "He also wanted to offer some additional... reassurances, I guess? That you would be okay, I mean."

"Ah," I said. I put my hands on his face now, looking at him. "Are you okay? You can tell me you know, if you're worried."

"Well, of course I'm worried, I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried _at all_," he said. "But I believe what Alice told us. I have to believe that you, and _he_ will both be alright." He placed both of our hands on my stomach when he said this, kissing my lips gently. "We will take this day by day, okay?"

"Deal," I agreed, leaning up to kiss him again. He picked me up so that he didn't have to bend, returning my kiss in earnest, his lips moving against mine urgently. A muffled groan escaped my lips as I heard Nessie and Jacob approaching. He guessed that our company was returning and set me down just before the front door opened.


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: I've included a minor addition into Chapter 1 about the few details Ellie has about her birthmom. I had been a part of an earlier draft but it got cut, and I felt like it had not been adequately addressed. :)**

* * *

Chapter 39. Pregnant.

Christopher and I stood together as Nessie and Jacob quietly walked in, peeking into the sitting room.

"Hi guys," Nessie said with a smile. "Did we miss Carlisle and Esme? How did it go?"

"You did, but only just," I said, smiling in return. "It went well, I think? Carlisle will call with the results later."

"But you are?" she asked. "Pregnant?"

We both nodded and Christopher placed a kiss on my head. I held my shirt against my stomach so she could see the subtle bump that my father measured earlier.

"Holy crap, I didn't notice that before!" she squealed. She hugged us both. "Congratulations guys!" She pulled back to look at us both, I saw how we looked in her mind; we were both smiling broadly at her. I felt the tiny twinge again, and I put my hand to my stomach.

"Are you okay?" Nessie asked.

"Yeah," I said. "I can feel him, I think."

"Already?" Jacob asked. His thoughts were reserved, thinking back to Bella's pregnancy, but also thinking ahead, about what this might be like for Renesmee.

"Seems that way," I said. "Jacob, this will be different. I'm not Bella, and I'm not a human carrying a vampire's child." He looked at me for a moment, and then smiled, exhaling a bit. He understood the reassurance I was trying to offer - that _Nessie_ won't be a human carrying a vampire's child, either. Christopher released me momentarily as Jacob approached to give me a hug. "Congratulations, Ellie." He shook Christopher's hand as I leaned against my husband, a little tired now all of a sudden. Despite my attempt to suppress it, I yawned.

"Why don't we head upstairs? We still have that movie that you didn't actually see Ellie," Christopher said, turning to Jake and Nessie. "You guys want to watch it with us?" They agreed, and we all filed upstairs and camped out on the two couches in the TV room. I curled up against Christopher, facing the television as the movie came up on the screen. I yawned again and he laughed softly.

"You're not going to make it through this time either, are you?" he whispered.

"Shush," I said, swatting his arm. My stomach grumbled slightly then, which of course he heard.

"Hungry?" he asked. "I can get you something; what would you like?"

"I don't know," I said, I couldn't think of anything that sounded particularly appealing.

"Actually," Jacob spoke up. "I was thinking of making some burgers, do you have a grill out there Chris?" We had stocked the fridge the day before.

"Yep," he answered Jacob before looking at me. "Burgers?" Christopher asked me.

"Um, yeah," I answered. "That actually sounds pretty good. Thanks Jake."

"Sure," he said. "Ness? You want some?"

"Why not," she answered. She wasn't crazy about human food, but made more of an effort for Jacob. "Thanks honey. Do you want us to pause the movie?"

Jacob shook his head. "Nah, I can hear it, it won't take me long." He hopped up and grabbed some stuff from the kitchen, and was firing up the grill within a few minutes. When he came back with the food, I was starving, and felt much better after I'd eaten.

"Thank you Jacob," I said, "That was great." I settled back against Christopher again, more tired now that I had eaten.

"Now you're _really_ not going to stay awake, are you?" Christopher said with a laugh.

"Probably not," I conceded. The words had barely left my mouth when I felt my eyes start to droop.

I woke up several hours later, in our bed. Christopher was nudging me gently.

"Hey sweetie," he said. "I'm sorry to wake you up, but your dad did want you to drink as well, so I thought I would bring some up for you." He was holding a Styrofoam cup; I could smell the blood inside it.

"Oh, yea," I said. "Thanks." I took the cup and drank it quickly. When I was done I got up and brushed my teeth. He was lying on the bed waiting for me when I came out of the bathroom, a bemused expression on his face.

"What was that for?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I don't want to make you uncomfortable," I said awkwardly, walking toward the bed. He rose to his knees and reached out to me, pulling me closer to him, one hand on my back, the other on my face.

"I thought it might be something like that," he whispered, his face close to mine. He kissed me softly. "It doesn't, Ellie. And even if it did, I would manage because it's for you _and_ the baby."

The way he said 'the baby' made me catch my breath, his face lit up at the words. "I love you," I said, locking my arms around his neck and kissing him. He hugged me closer to him as he kissed me in return, and I crawled back onto the bed.

"So," I said softly as his lips moved to my jaw. "You know what we were saying earlier about _normal_ activities?"

He let out one low chuckle, and the sound sent a shiver through my body.

"I do," he whispered, carefully laying me down beneath him.

* * *

Later that night, I was vaguely aware of the sound of a phone ringing. I felt Christopher shift me onto the pillow beside him so he could get up and retrieve the noisy device. I forced my eyes open as he answered it. He was holding my jeans in his other hand.

"Hi Carlisle," he said. "She's fine, she's sleeping. Did you get the results?" I heard him say. "So what does that mean? Okay. Okay. I will tell her, thank you. Tomorrow, I think, not sure what time though. Okay. See you then."

He looked up at me, a huge smile on his face. "Everything looks great," he said, next to me again in a flash. He kissed me lightly.

"Really?" I asked, groggily.

"Really," he said, tucking me back into his side. "I love you."

"Love you too," I mumbled, my eyes drooping again.

He laughed softly, kissing my head. "Listen, if I run out for a couple of hours to hunt, will you be all right? I would have gone earlier but with everything else going on the day got away from me."

I opened my eyes again to look at him; his eyes were dark. I ran my fingers along the shadowed circles beneath them.

"Of course, Christopher. Why didn't you say something before? I'm sorry," I said.

He shook his head, frowning at me. "There's nothing for you to be sorry for, silly. I didn't really notice until..." he trailed off.

"Until you gave me the human blood earlier?" I picked the thought out of his head. "Go," I said, kissing him. "I told you earlier I don't want to make you uncomfortable, Chris. You should have said something then."

"Maybe, but in my defense, you were rather effective in distracting me at that moment," he said with a grin. "I won't be long, a couple of hours, tops." He put his hand on my cheek, leaning in to kiss me softly. "Go back to sleep, love." I laid my head back on my pillow, watching him get dressed to leave. He kissed me again quickly before disappearing through the door. I sighed, rolling over to where he had been laying. I was annoyed that I couldn't hunt with him, and even though I knew he wouldn't be gone long, I missed him already.

"Argh," I huffed, dragging myself out of the bed. I picked up the shirt he had been wearing earlier, which was still on the floor, and put it on. I climbed back into bed and inhaled his scent, closing my eyes. Sleep took over quickly.

* * *

"Ellie. Ellie sweetie, wake up. ELLIE." I heard my name, and felt someone shaking me. Someone was yelling. My eyes fluttered open and I struggled to focus. Confused, I looked around frantically before focusing on the voice calling for me to wake up. It was Christopher. In a move so fast even I couldn't see it, he put his hand gently to my face. I looked into his eyes, mesmerized for a moment by his now-golden irises.

"Ellie," he gasped, relieved when I looked at him. "Were you dreaming? I came in and heard you calling out."

"What?" I said, confused. I felt like I was in a fog; it was hard to concentrate. I thought back to before I heard my name being called frantically; was I dreaming? I must have been, flashes of color started to return to my mind, but I couldn't make sense of them; I had no clear memory of what I was dreaming about.

"I heard yelling. Was that me?"

He pulled my head toward his face and kissed my forehead. "Yes," he looked at me with concern in his eyes. "What were you dreaming about?"

"Honestly? I have no idea. I don't remember any of it clearly," I said. My voice was thick with sleep. I rolled over to hug myself closer to him. "Sorry. How was your hunt?"

"It was fine," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "I missed you." He tugged on his shirt that I was wearing and smiled. "Did you miss me?"

"What do you think?" I said, stretching to kiss him. "I don't like not being able to hunt with you."

He chuckled softly. "It was strange, I didn't like it either. But it's only temporary, right?"

I started to grumble in reply, but was interrupted by an involuntary yawn. "Mmm," I mumbled. "Temporary." His arms encircled me and pulled me closer so that I was lying on his chest, his hands stroking my hair and my back.

"Sleep, Ellie. I love you," he whispered.

I smiled as my eyes closed. I think I fell asleep, though it only felt like seconds passed before my eyes shot open again. Pain lurched through my stomach, my insides felt like someone pulling a knot tight. I jumped out of the bed, heading straight for the bathroom. I made it with not half a second to spare before vomiting a crimson tide into the toilet. I flushed immediately, cursing to myself. I didn't realize that Chris was behind me until I stood, leaning over the sink to catch my breath and ensure the torrent was finished. I raised my eyes for a second and jumped when I met his, frantic with silent worry over my sudden illness.

He put his hands on my shoulders. "Are you all right?"

I looked at him, nodding. I didn't trust myself enough to speak. I smiled weakly, grabbing my toothbrush. He kissed my head and went back into the bedroom, giving me a moment to collect myself. I brushed my teeth and washed my face, taking several deep breaths over the sink before walking slowly back toward the bed. Christopher was sitting up in the bed waiting for me. He had taken his shirt off, and the sight of him distracted me for a moment from my earlier discomfort. His held his arms out to me, as I got closer. I crawled back under the covers and into his arms.

"Sorry about that," I whispered, leaning back against him slowly, afraid the sickness would attack abruptly again.

"Shh," he whispered, his hands lightly rubbing my arms. "Don't apologize. Can I do anything?"

I shook my head, yawning again. "No. I just want to sleep."

He hugged me to him, kissing the top of my head. I yawned again, my eyes fluttering closed. "Night, Chris."

"Goodnight, Ellie," he whispered. I could hear the caution in his voice and felt the slight tension in his muscles. He was trying not to think about the episode, for which I was grateful, but I knew he was worried that I would suddenly get sick again.

I tried to open my mouth to reassure him, but sleep claimed me before I could get any words out. When I opened my eyes again, light was flooding the room. I could hear shuffling from downstairs, which startled me for a moment, until my still-tired brain remembered our guests.

Christopher chuckled softly beneath me. "Did you forget that we have company?" he guessed, whispering in my ear.

"Only for a second," I answered him sleepily.

"How do you feel?"

I dragged myself up slowly onto my elbows too look at him. His eyebrows were knit together in worry.

"Okay, I think? Sorry about that," I said again. He kissed my forehead.

"Don't be silly. That comes with the territory, right?"

"I suppose. Ugh," I made a face. "I would be happy to not repeat the experience though."

I settled back down into his arms, not quite ready to get up yet. He put his hands under my shirt and rested them on my stomach, which I could feel was protruding ever so slightly more today.

"Carlisle is going to want to measure again, I'll wager." I could hear a smile in his voice.

"Christ, if this keeps up I am going to be huge," I moaned.

"You're beautiful. Don't be ridiculous," he said. He turned slightly to his side so he could take my face in his hand, pulling me closer for a tender kiss. "Can you show me again?" he whispered, his lips brushing mine.

I pulled him closer to me and closed my eyes; concentrating on the images I had shown him before. His gasp told me before his mind did that he could once again see the baby. _Our _baby. He swallowed hard as if he was choking back a sob, and he pressed his lips back to mine. His kiss was urgent but gentle, his hand on my stomach. His thoughts, bursting with outright _joy_ now, overwhelmed me, and I struggled to keep the vision open for him.

I realized then that my fears that he was withholding his desire for a child from me had been unfounded, but that his desire was as unrealized as my own until we were faced with such a certain future. I fought back the lingering fear that something would go wrong, clinging to the hope that Alice had given us. I was so absorbed in all of this that the tears streaming from my eyes went unnoticed by me until he pulled his mouth from mine, wiping my cheeks with his hands.

"Are you alright?" he asked softly, breathing hard.

I nodded my head against him, laughing as the tears came faster. He looked at me like I was losing my mind.

"I'm sorry," I said, smiling at him. "I can't explain it. I was just overwhelmed by how happy you are. How happy _I _am. This baby that we never even knew we wanted..."

He kissed me again. "I know," he said, smiling. He looked at me for a moment, still wiping away tears. I heard Nessie and Jacob cleaning up breakfast in the kitchen and sighed.

"We should probably go downstairs," I said.

"Are you hungry? Thirsty?" he asked.

"Not really."

He frowned slightly. "You should drink though. Let me get you something while you get dressed okay?" He kissed my nose as he disentangled himself and got up.

"Thanks," I said. I got up and walked to the closet to find something to wear. I stood there looking at my clothes for a minute or two, my hand resting absently on my stomach.

"You okay, Ellie?" Chris asked as he headed toward the door, already dressed.

"Yeah. I'm not sure what to wear with this," I motioned toward the bump. "I'm surprised my phone isn't ringing," I said with a laugh. I sucked in a breath suddenly as the sensation of movement caught me off guard; it was much more defined than the light twinges from yesterday.

"Ellie?"

"Yeah. He moved again. He's stronger today," I breathed.

"Does it hurt?" His eyes wrinkled slightly with concern.

I shook my head. "No, it was just more defined." I smiled, my hand still on my stomach as he moved again.

Chris reached for my other hand and squeezed it. "I will be right back," he said, slipping out the door. I heard him greet Nessie and Jake on his way to the basement. I sighed and began digging in my closet for something to wear. I pulled on a pair of jeans; surprised that I was able to button them, they sat low enough that I could close them just beneath my growing stomach. I found a long gray T-shirt that wasn't too tight but didn't hide the shape.

When Christopher walked in, he smiled as he saw me glancing at my profile in the mirror. He wrapped one arm around me, his hand on my stomach, and held the cup out in front of me with his other hand.

"Hi," he whispered in my ear, kissing my cheek.

"Hi," I said, taking the cup. "Thank you."

* * *

A few hours later the four of us piled into Christopher's car and we sped off toward New Hampshire. I looked back at Nessie, she was nervous about readjusting to the family dynamic.

"I hope you enjoyed the peace and quiet," I said with a laugh. She nodded absently. "It's a little difficult at first," I said, understanding her anxiety. "But it gets less weird. Remember it won't be that much different than before you left."

She smiled slightly, letting out the breath she had been holding. "True," she said. Jacob squeezed her hand.

My phone rang a moment later. "Hi Mom," I said.

"Hi sweetie, how are you feeling?"

"Pretty good right now. What's up?"

"I know you're on your way up here," she said. "But while you're here I wanted to talk to you and Christopher about getting a nursery set up at your house." I knew she meant the house in Boston.

"You've started drawing plans already, huh?" I said.

She laughed. "A few ideas. I wanted to talk to the two of you first."

"Okay. We will see you soon okay?"

"Okay, love you Ellie."

"Love you, too Mom." I hung up and looked at Chris. "Mom's going to start knocking down walls now," I said.

He laughed. "She's excited," he said. "I'm sure she will come up with something amazing."

"You realize she means the Boston house right?"

He laughed again. "Yes." He smiled to himself as he drove, thinking ahead to what she might have in mind. He was excited to take on the project.

When we got the house, everyone was home, excited to welcome back Nessie and Jacob. I walked in behind them, relieved that the attention wasn't immediately on me, feeling suddenly self-conscious. Edward and Bella quickly claimed their daughter, and the three of them left to hunt.

After they left, all eyes shifted back to me. I had slipped into the living room almost entirely unnoticed, and was standing next to Chris, his arms around me.

"Um, hi guys," I said to the rest my family, looking down at my feet.


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40. Preparations.

My sisters reached me first, wrapping me in a gentle hug at the same time, and each placing a hand on my stomach.

"How are you?" Alice asked. "You were sick last night." This was not a question.

"I was but I feel fine now," I said. Christopher inched closer, reclaiming his hold on me as my sisters let go. I heard Emmett and Jasper both notice the change to my midsection. After several minutes of standing and chatting, I started to feel a little dizzy and leaned against Christopher. He ushered me over to the sofa in response.

"You okay?" he said quietly as we sat down. I leaned my forehead on his shoulder and took a few slow, deep breaths.

"Dizzy," I mumbled, squeezing my eyes shut and willing the unpleasant feeling to go away.

"Ellie?" I heard my father's voice. "Why don't you lie down for a few minutes? See if it passes."

Chris immediately moved me so that I was lying with my head in his lap, my eyes still closed. He put one of his hands on my forehead, stroking lightly with his thumb. I continued to breath in slowly, and I felt myself starting to doze.

I knew I was dreaming as the scene formed in my mind. I was sitting on our bed in Boston. There was a woman standing in front of me, facing away from me. She was quiet, but I could see her swaying gently. She turned toward me and I saw her face. My birth mother; holding our baby. She handed him to me, kissing his head before releasing him to my arms. She put her hand on my face, looking at my eyes. Her eyes were blue, like mine.

The image disappeared as a voice called out to me. My eyes fluttered slightly, but I squeezed them shut to block out the light of the room that seemed so harsh after the gentle dream.

"Ellie? Ellie, what is it?" Christopher was gently shaking me; I could feel his fingers on my face, wiping tears away. "Sweetie, what's wrong? Are you in pain?"

I shook my head, forcing my eyes open. As they adjusted, I realized I was still lying on Christopher, but at some point he had shifted his back against the arm of the sofa, so that I was curled up between his legs with my head against his chest. My mother sat on the other end of the couch. She smiled at me sadly, her eyes anxious.

"I'm okay," I said, my voice barely audible. "Strange dream."

My mother immediately thought of my usual dream, and I shook my head again. "No, it wasn't that. She was in it," I said, they both understood who I referred to. "But she was, um, alive. She has holding the baby, and then gave him to me." My voice was barely a whisper. "It was so quiet."

Esme reached out to squeeze my hands. She held my gaze for a long moment. "I'm sorry," I said.

"For what?" she asked. I shrugged, not really knowing what to say. I'd never lacked for maternal love, with Esme as my mother, and I never wanted her to feel like I had.

"Eleanor," she said, waiting for me to look at her again. "She was your mother. She carried you like you are carrying your child. Nothing can change that. If not for her, we wouldn't have you."

A new set of tears started pouring from my eyes and Christopher released me so that my mother could take me in her arms. I leaned against her until I caught my breath again. When I calmed slightly, I moved so that I was resting my head on her shoulder, and noticed for the first time the sketchbook sitting on the table.

"What's that?" I asked, my voice thick from sleep and crying.

"Esme was showing me some ideas for the baby's room," Christopher said softly. "You were right about the walls," he added with a grin.

I laughed. "Can I see?"

He handed me the book. I flipped through the pages; she had created a fairly extensive set of drawings.

"Just a few ideas, huh?" I said looking up at her. I sat up straight so I could examine the drawings more closely. "Mom, this is amazing."

Christopher nodded, putting a hand on my shoulder and leaning over to point out his favorite details. I smiled up at him, brushing his hair away from his face. He kissed me lightly and looked back at the paper.

"Esme," he said. "When can we get started?"

"Well," she said thoughtfully. "I can have the materials delivered in the next couple of weeks I expect."

They jumped into planning the specifics of the project, while I stared at the pages in front of me, thinking about the dream. It was strangely peaceful, every other dream I've had about her was violent and loud. The baby moved inside me then, and my hands immediately flew to my stomach.

"Christopher said he's stronger today," my father said. I jumped slightly; I hadn't even realized he had been sitting across the room from us all this time. "Sorry," he said, smiling at my reaction.

"That's okay," I said. "I didn't realize you were there. Yeah, his movements are different today. Not painful," I added the last part in response to the question I knew was coming.

He smiled. "Good." He exchanged a meaningful look with my mother, both thinking about the designs for the baby's room, raising my suspicion.

"What's that about?" I asked, looking at both of them, and then to Christopher, who looked as curious as I was.

"Ellie," my father said. "I've been debating whether or not to mention this to you for a long time, but it never really seemed like a good idea, until now."

"Okay," I said. He looked nervous, which was unusual. It was very difficult to rattle Carlisle; I held my breath waiting for him to speak.

"You know that Alice has done some research about your birth mother, which is how we discovered your relation to Edward."

I nodded.

"Shortly after you were born, I commissioned a headstone in a Chicago cemetery. I knew that at some point, we might have more information - keep in mind all I knew at that point was her date of death. After Alice's discovery, we were able to find this." He handed me a piece of paper.

It was a copy of a birth certificate. Rebecca Ann Masen. I ran my finger over her name and her date of birth, her parents' names. Her father was a Masen, as was his father and grandfather, who was Edward's sister's son.

"Did Alice find anyone else?" I asked, for the first time curious about these human connections.

My father shook his head. "She was the last. Well, other than you. Her parents died in a car crash about two years before you were born. No siblings."

He took out a picture and handed that to me. It was the headstone, now etched with Rebecca's name and dates of birth and death. Inscribed below the dates was "Daughter, Mother."

I wiped a new tear from my eye as I looked at the picture and the photocopy.

_We can go there, if you want. _I heard Christopher's thought as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and put his head against mine. I looked up at him, and he spoke out loud. "I mean it. Just say the word."

My father looked from me, to Chris, and back to me, and guessed what he had suggested. He nodded encouragingly. He thought it was a good idea.

I was quiet for a few minutes. "I think," I said slowly, "that I would like that. I've spent all this time so… angry? Guilty? I don't know. I've never properly acknowledged her. It sounds silly, doesn't it?" I said, looking up. "I mean. I know she's not _there_…" I didn't know what else to say.

"It's not silly," my mother said. "You should go, if you want to, of course."

"Will you come?" I whispered to her, "both of you?"

"Of course, sweetie," she said. "We can leave first thing, if you'd like." I looked over and my father nodded his agreement. I looked at Chris and he smiled, kissing my cheek. A hand squeezed my shoulder, surprising me, and a cup appeared in front of me. I jumped, almost hitting the arm holding the cup.

"Jesus, Edward, you scared me," I said. He laughed.

"Sorry," he said. "For a mind reader you are remarkably easy to startle."

I took the cup and sucked on the straw slightly, sighing as the blood hit my mouth. I hated to admit how much better human blood was, but there was really no contest.

"Thanks," I mumbled to my brother.

"You're welcome," he said. "I understand you are Chicago-bound?" He sat down in the chair beside Carlisle.

I nodded. "Did you know?"

"Yes. But only recently; I was impressed that Carlisle kept it from me for so long," he said, shooting a sideways glance at our father.

Carlisle looked back at him, unabashed.

"Anyway, I think it's a good idea, that you're going. For what it's worth, her headstone is near where my parents are buried."

"Wait, really?" I asked.

He nodded. "Carlisle helped me with that shortly after I changed. That cemetery has been there a long time, obviously."

I stood up then, walking toward my father, who also rose. I hugged him tightly, not sure what to say.

"Thank you Daddy," I whispered.

He kissed the top of my head, hugging me carefully. "You're welcome sweetheart." He pulled me back to look at me. "Tomorrow?"

I nodded. "Might lose my nerve otherwise," I said.

He chuckled. "Fair enough." He paused for a moment. "Ellie, would you mind coming upstairs for a moment?"

"Told you," Christopher said.

I laughed as I stood to follow my dad, and Rosalie appeared at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for us. Carlisle shot me a perplexed look.

"Christopher took one look at me this morning and made a crack that you would want to measure again," I explained.

Christopher and my mother launched back into a conversation about the nursery project, and I followed my father and sister upstairs. I heard my father wordlessly ask my brother to come along; apparently this was a group assignment. Edward chuckled at my assessment.

"Since Alice sees you having a more traditional labor, but can't pinpoint when that will occur, Carlisle thinks we should all be on board just in case," he said as we climbed the stairs.

"Uh-huh," I said. When we got to Carlisle's office I laid on the couch and he measured my abdomen, which had in fact grown a significant amount in the last 24 hours. He had both Rose and Edward feel for the top of my uterus, and sounded as if he were instructing interns for a moment. I looked at the ceiling until the lesson was over.

Edward helped me up, looking at me apologetically. I laughed at his expression. "It's okay, Edward. Just promise me you won't be doing cervical checks and we're fine."

He laughed and shuddered simultaneously. "Deal."

I smirked at him as something occurred to me. "Just wait until it's Nessie's turn."

"Oh shit, Ellie," he groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "That's not even funny."

"I disagree," I said, dissolving into hysterics. My father and sister tried to keep a straight face. "All done?" I asked my father.

"Yes, unless you have any concerns," he said. I shook my head. I looked outside and realized for the first time since I'd woken up that it was dark out already. I must have slept the whole afternoon.

"Good lord," I said. "How long was I out before?" They all laughed.

"Quite a while," my father answered.

"Shall we head back downstairs before you lose the opportunity to have a say in your baby's room?" Rose asked.

"Good idea. Though I'm happy to stay out of the construction details." I got up and walked toward the door.

"No construction for you!" my father said from behind me.

"Got it, Dad," I answered him, shaking my head. Christopher watched me with an amused expression as I walked down stairs and stood behind the back of the couch where he and my mother were working.

"How's it coming?" I asked them.

He showed me their updated plans, and they already had a schedule laid out. They would literally be knocking down a wall in our house. As I looked everything over, I picked a thought out of my husband's head.

"Christopher, really? I have to be babysat here while all of this is going on?" I said.

"It's only going to be a couple days, Ellie. We should be able to complete most of the work pretty quickly, and I would feel better if you stayed back away from all of that," he said. He gave me a meaningful, almost pleading look and put his hand on my stomach for emphasis. "Please? I promise I won't be gone long."

I shook my head in defeat, giving in without a fight. "Fine," I huffed. "You better not be. When are you starting?"

"In a few weeks," he said, his hand moving from my stomach to my hand. I nodded, covering my mouth with my other hand, trying to stifle a yawn. "Tired?" he asked with a laugh.

"Ellie, honey, you can stay here while we're down in Boston if you want," my mother offered.

I nodded. "So who drew the short straw to be my captor?" I asked.

Bella popped her head in the room then, grinning. "Me!" she said. "Payback time!"

Christopher and I left to spend a few hours at our New Hampshire house after Christopher and Esme had exhausted their planning discussions for the evening. I fell asleep on the 10-minute drive, and I was only vaguely aware of being moved as Christopher carried me into the house and up to bed.

As I slept, hazy memories swam through my subconscious, no doubt a product of my anxiety about the next day's trip. It was still dark outside when I felt Christopher nudging me awake again, and I blinked several times, trying to clear my mind.

"Ellie," he whispered. "Your parents are coming to pick us up in a few minutes. Let's get up and get changed, okay?"

I grumbled in reply, but dragged myself off the pillow. I stumbled slightly toward the closet and he caught me, leading me the rest of the way, watching me warily. I shook my head a little, still trying to clear my head of the tired fog.

"Sorry," I mumbled as I grabbed my clothes and changed.

"That's okay," he said with a chuckle. Satisfied that I wouldn't fall over, he changed quickly and was back at my side in an instant. "Hi," he breathed in my ear, kissing my neck. "Did you sleep well? You didn't move at all."

"I must have then," I said with a sleepy laugh. I didn't really want to try to describe my restless dreams. "What time is it anyway?"

"2 am. We have a long drive today," he answered. I yawned, nodding my head. He took my hand and led me down the stairs to the kitchen. My parents' car turned into the drive a few minutes later and we were on our way. I curled up against Christopher in the backseat, still feeling groggy. I could hear Christopher chatting with my parents cheerfully as my eyes drooped. Christopher's arms were around me, both hands on my stomach. He laughed at something my father said, and I felt the baby move. Christopher tensed, his conversation momentarily forgotten.

"I felt that," he said. I looked up at him sleepily, smiling. He kissed my forehead. "Go to sleep, love," he said, rubbing my stomach gently with one of his hands. I dozed off as we sped through the dark.

* * *

I looked around, my hand over my eyes in the bright sun, I was standing alone in a grassy field. My mother's headstone sat several paces in front of me. I walked slowly toward the stone, recognizing the inscription from the photo my father had shown me.

Kneeling beside it, I reached with one hand to touch the cold rock, my fingers tracing the letters of her name. In my other hand I held a single white rose, which I laid on the grass in front of the stone. I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and I looked up, confused.

She was standing over me, smiling gently. Everything was silent again. She looked as if she were trying to say something, but I could not hear her speak, and could not hear her thoughts. With her hand still on my shoulder, she looked off sadly toward the trees, and I saw the faintest hint of movement under the cover of the forest. When I looked back to her, she had disappeared.

My eyes flew open, and I squinted reflexively despite the dark tint on my father's car, I was expecting it to still be dark outside. Chris rubbed my arms, noticing that I was awake.

"Are you okay?" he asked me.

I nodded distractedly as the dream slowly came back to me. "Another weird dream," I mumbled.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, and I caught my father's eye in the mirror.

I shrugged. "I think it was supposed to be the cemetery. I was standing by the headstone and she was there. She looked toward something, I could see it moving but couldn't see who or what it was, and then she was gone. Weird."

Christopher hugged me closer and rested his chin on my hair. I stared absently out the window, watching the blur of the scenery around us as we flew past. Not too long after I woke up, we slowed down considerably. I looked at the clock on the dashboard and realized were now in the middle of rush hour, almost through Indiana and getting closer to Chicago. I sat up straight, fidgeting nervously. My mother turned around and smiled at me.

"It's okay to be nervous, honey," she said, taking note of my anxious movements. She reached back to grab my hand and squeezed it gently. I gave her a tentative smile in return.

"How far are we?" I asked. I hadn't been to the city since we left shortly after I was born so I was almost entirely unfamiliar with the area.

"We should be downtown in about 20 minutes," my father said. We were moving pretty slowly in traffic at the moment.

My mother decided to make conversation in the meantime. "Ellie, Chris, have you thought about a name for the baby yet?"

I laughed. Christopher and I had discussed this shortly after talking to Alice, which we both agreed was ridiculous at the time since there wasn't even a pregnancy yet. I wanted to name the baby after Christopher but he was adamantly against that.

"Only to the extent that I know Christopher doesn't want the baby named after him," I said, looking sideways toward my husband.

"Nope," he said. "Not happening."

I shook my head, grinning now. I caught an errant thought out of my father's head; something that I hadn't thought of the last time Chris and I discussed this subject.

"Hey that's a good idea," I said to my father, who looked up in the mirror, surprised. "Chris, what about Nathaniel?"

He shook his head at first. "You _are_ determined aren't you?" He said. I knew, though, that he was thinking about it. "You know," he said after a moment. "I have to admit, I think I like that idea."

"Really?"

He smiled and kissed me. "Really."

I looked down at my hands on my stomach. "Looks like you've got a name now, Nathaniel." It felt like he did a somersault after I spoke. "I think he likes it," I said with a laugh.

"What about a middle name?" my mother asked.

"I don't know. I think that's a whole other argument waiting to happen," I said jokingly. Chris shoved my arm playfully. "I suppose it's your turn to make a suggestion," I said, sticking my tongue out at him.

"I will get right on that," he said, putting his finger to his chin in a mock-contemplative pose.

My father chuckled at this exchange, but his expression turned serious as he signaled to turn. I realized we were beside a large cemetery. I sucked in a breath; I was distracted by our conversation and didn't realize how close we were to arriving at our destination.

Christopher put his hand on my shoulder in support. I let out the breath I was holding as Carlisle parked beside a large tree. I could see the headstone from the picture, and my dream, several yards away. Chris opened the door, to get out of the car, and held out his hand to me to follow. I took it, and stood nervously beside him while my parents quietly got out. I looked at my mother, who was holding a small bouquet of white roses. I gasped when I saw them; she held them out to me.

"I thought you might want something... " she said, trailing off.

"Thanks," I whispered, staring at the flowers. "I had a white rose in my hand in my dream."

She kissed my cheek as she handed me the flowers. "I love you honey, take your time."

"Will you guys come with me?" I asked shyly.

"Of course," they answered together.

Chris pulled on my hand lightly, to see if I was ready to move. I took a deep breath and stepped forward. It was quiet, almost as quiet as in my dream, if not for the thoughts of my family buzzing in my head. My parents stopped a few feet behind me, as we got closer to the marker. Christopher kept hold of my hand; I knew he wouldn't let go until I wanted him too. I pulled my hand slightly and he understood immediately, letting go.

I walked up to the stone, kneeling on the ground in front of it. I held my hand out to trace the letters, much like I did in my dream. I half expected to feel a hand on my shoulder, or to notice a disturbance in the trees to the side. When I looked up, I was surprised to see that the tree line looked almost exactly the same. I didn't say anything, I didn't really have words to communicate what I was feeling right them. I felt like a weight had been lifted as I looked at the stone, touched it. I read her name, studied the dates that framed her short life, the words "Daughter, Mother." So simple yet perfectly capturing my link to this woman who I'd almost entirely denied my entire life.

I swallowed, trying to keep my composure as I began to identify the weight that had left me now. I no longer felt like I was being swallowed by the guilt and shame for being the reason that she died. She carried me with love, much like Bella had done for Nessie. I could hear her thoughts before I was born - I didn't know at the time that's what it was, but I allowed myself to recall this for the first time. She suffered at Sebastian's hands, to be sure, but she loved me and fought her failing body to keep us both alive until I could be born.

My hand still on the cold stone, I looked at her name again and mouthed, "Thank you," silently. I laid the flowers against the stone, and stood. My parents were on either side of me in an instant, and they both hugged me in turn, before handing me back to Christopher who held me as the tears streamed from my eyes, the tenuous hold on my composure lost. I used the emotion pouring out of me to tap into the skill that I had inherited from my loathsome sire. I showed them my dream, and the thoughts that went through my mind as I kneeled on the ground a few moments ago. I didn't know how else to properly thank my parents, other than to _show_ them what they had given me by bringing me to this place.

My mind was so thoroughly occupied that I very nearly missed it altogether, but for the briefest of moments, I heard another mind nearby. It was faint, and right on the edge of my range, but it was clear for a second that the stranger had been observing our visit. I turned around, facing toward the tree line, trying to see any sign of a disturbance.

"Ellie?" Christopher asked, alarmed at my sudden movement.

"Someone's here. Someone's watching," I whispered. "I could hear him, but barely. Right on the edge of my range."

My parents stepped closer, looking through the trees. The stranger must have backed off because I couldn't hear anything now.

"He's gone," I said, shaking my head. "Weird."

When we left the cemetery my father insisted that I eat before we left the city, so we stopped and I had a quick lunch before we made our return journey. In the car, I leaned against Christopher, feeling much more relaxed, chatting with my husband and parents as we drove. Christopher and Esme started to tell me about the rest of the plans they had made for the baby's room construction. They would knock out part of the wall, next to our closet, which would lead into the adjacent bedroom. Esme had sketched beautiful French doors that would open up into the nursery. She showed me in her mind the colors and fabrics she and Alice had envisioned, I listened and watched, completely blown away.

"Wow," I said, in awe of what they had already come up with. "I feel like I should have been more involved in this," I said with a laugh. "But you guys are awesome, no way could I top that."

They both smiled, pleased that I was happy with their ideas. Christopher draped an arm around my shoulders and I reached up to link my fingers through his. He played with the rings on my finger, and rubbed my stomach absently with his other hand. He was thinking about our conversation earlier, when we decided to name the baby Nathaniel.

"Changing your mind?" I said, looking up at him curiously. He smiled and kissed me softly.

"No. I like it. I was just thinking about a middle name," he said. I saw it in his head before he spoke it. "What if we used Masen?"

I didn't say anything at first as I thought about his idea. I saw Carlisle smiling in the mirror; he liked it immediately but tried to think of something else. My mother was reciting dimensions of the baby's room in her head, quicker to hide her real thoughts from me. Nonetheless, I could see the corners of her mouth twitch as if she wanted to smile.

"Masen," I repeated.

"Hear me out," he said, preparing to defend his suggestion carefully. "He would have a part of both of us in his name," he didn't say any more, I put my finger to his lips before he could go on.

"I think," I said slowly, pausing for a moment, "that I like it."

"But?" Christopher said.

"Well, I still feel a little like it's not..._mine_ to use," I said. "Masen was Edward's name, not mine. Not really."

My father shook his head. "You _are_ a Masen, Eleanor. Just as much as you _are_ a Cullen," he said this firmly, but his tone softened as he continued. "Think about what you showed us back there, what you remembered? We wouldn't have you if it weren't for her. I wish everyday that I could have helped her for you, Eleanor. Every single day," his voice broke slightly when he said this, and my eyes filled with tears all over again. He knew exactly what to say next. "Eleanor. You are not denying me or your mother or anyone else by honoring your son and your biological mother in this way, _if_ it's what you want. Truly you are not."

My mother took his hand, and looked back at me smiling, I could hear her absolute agreement in her mind. I smiled at both of them.

"I love you," I said. "Thank you, again, for all of this," I said. I didn't just mean the trip, but my life in general, and they both seemed to understand that.

"We love you too sweetie," my mother said. "Always."

I put my hand to Christopher's face, looking into his eyes. "Thank you," I said. "Nathaniel Masen Dawling it is."

A few hours later, I was sitting on the couch at my parents' house, sipping from a Styrofoam cup and aimlessly flipping through the channels on TV. I settled on some ridiculous reality show and gave up, putting the now-empty cup on the table. Edward came in and sat down at the far end of the couch.

"Hi," he said.

"Um, hi," I said.

"How was your trip?"

"Good. Really good, actually."

He smiled. "Nathaniel Masen?"

I looked away. "Yeah," I said, fidgeting with my sleeves.

"Ellie," he said. He waited for me to look up. "I think it's perfect. You don't need my permission. It is your name too."


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41. Contingencies.

It was mid-October now. The crisp fall air had moved in, and the baby inside me was growing at a furious rate. His movements were defined, strong, but also increasingly careful. Christopher spoke to his son every morning and every night, reminding him to be gentle, and it seemed as if Nathaniel understood. I could not hear his thoughts, nor could Edward, but we expected that would happen over the next couple of weeks.

I was sitting with Nessie, who had stayed behind along with her parents to babysit me while the rest of the family went to Boston to work on the nursery. They had been there for three days, and were expecting to finish in the next day or two. I was anxious being away from Christopher for so long, but he was so excited by the progress they were making that I was trying to be a good sport. He was sending me regular updates and pictures of the progress they were making. They had started assembling furniture while the room was being painted; the color that Esme chose for the walls was beautiful.

"Can I see?" Nessie asked. I handed her my phone. "Wow, it looks great. I bet they'll be back early, they've really made progress."

The baby turned before I could speak, throwing an elbow into my ribs in the process. I sucked in a quick breath and rubbed the spot where he jabbed me. "Easy kid," I gasped.

"You okay?" Nessie asked. She recalled a memory from before she was born, Edward asking her to be gentle in a soothing voice.

"Yeah, he's just getting so big," I said. I didn't complain much, after what Bella went through it was easy to keep perspective - my discomfort was minimal by comparison.

Edward walked into the room, making a face at my internal musing. "Nessie," he said to his daughter. "You mother wanted me to ask if you'd like to hunt with her, she's outside."

"Okay, that sounds good," she replied, turning to face me as she stood to leave. "See you later Ellie."

I waved as she left and turned to look at my brother. "Yes?" I said, I could tell he wanted to say something.

"What?" he asked innocently. He handed me a cup of blood, and I could tell he had just been out to hunt himself. My family was more conscientious than usual about frequent hunting, and making sure that I was constantly fed.

"Thank you, but I was going to get it myself," I mumbled.

"It's been a while Ellie, I don't need Carlisle _and_ Christopher giving me grief because I let you slack."

I rolled my eyes, taking a long swig. I relaxed immediately; apparently it had been a while.

He smiled smugly. "See?"

I threw a throw pillow at him. "How are you feeling?" he asked, having caught the projectile easily.

"Not bad," I said.

"Sounded like he got you pretty good before," he pressed. "It's okay to speak up, no one else is comparing you know." He gave me a disapproving look as he recalled of my thoughts from a few minutes ago.

"I know, I know. But really, I don't feel bad. A little achy but that's it."

He nodded. "Do you mind if I measure?"

"Nope," I said as I lay back on the couch and pulled my shirt back slightly. He measured quickly and then set the tape down.

_May I?_ He thought; he wanted to check the baby's position. I nodded.

He felt my stomach gently, and then helped me up. "He's head down already, did you know that?" he asked.

"Not for sure, but I had guessed," I said.

"I think his growth is picking up speed a bit," he mused. "We may be looking at a slightly earlier delivery if this keeps up."

Carlisle had been guessing that I would deliver mid-November. Edward was now thinking a week or two earlier.

"I will speak with Carlisle when he checks in later," he added. "Maybe baby will share a birthday with Christopher."

I laughed quietly. Christopher didn't typically like to celebrate his birthday, so we usually spent the day alone together. He was going to be 260 this year. I wasn't sure how I felt about the baby coming sooner than originally thought. Before Alice left with my family for Boston, I asked her to show me her visions again. She confirmed that she still saw a "normal" delivery, but as the end of the pregnancy seemed to be more rapidly approaching I was getting more nervous about the possibility of something going wrong.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

I took a deep breath, not sure how to ask this. "Is there a back up plan?"

He looked at me, controlling his thoughts carefully. "What do you mean?"

"You know. If something changes. The baby turns funny, gets stuck, or something. What happens if what Alice sees changes?"

He knew what I was asking. How would they get the baby out, and what would that mean for me. And, if more invasive measures were required, what would exposure to that much venom mean for the baby and for me?

"Well," he said slowly, drawing the word out. "Carlisle has a theory."

"Yes?"

"He thinks that the venom, at least in limited amounts, won't hurt you. That it could be used to heal, and that if it's administered in small, direct doses, it wouldn't _change_ anything else."

I stared at him, waiting for him to continue.

"He's been testing samples of your blood with samples of venom and it doesn't appear that they conflict like we had originally feared. As opposed to Jacob's blood, for example. When he exposes _those_ samples to venom it breaks down his cells quickly."

I nodded slowly, taking this in. "Does Chris know any of this?"

Edward nodded. "They've talked about it extensively this week. He knew Carlisle was working on something like this because Carlisle had asked him to provide a sample."

"Whoa," I mumbled, tugging anxiously on a strand of my hair. "Really?" Edward nodded in response.

"He's used samples some from both Chris and me, as well as some of his own. Just to see if it makes a difference. The response is similar across the board, but there was slightly better results from both Christopher's - presumably because his genetic material has already mixed with yours, given the existence of the pregnancy - and mine."

As I processed this, I twirled the strand around my finger and then uncurled it. "Huh. Well that makes sense I guess."

He nodded again. "Carlisle is fairly confident that as long as the exposure is localized there shouldn't be a risk to you. Christopher is anxious about this though, since it's an untested theory."

"Fairly confident?" I turned the phrase over in my mind; it wasn't entirely comforting. "Is there a way to test it? I mean more conclusively?"

"Short of causing some superficial injury to you and administering it as treatment, I don't think so."

I thought about that. I would feel better knowing for sure that this works, but I didn't want to risk hurting the baby if we were wrong. I frowned, more nervous now.

"There's no reason to believe that we will need this, Ellie," Edward reasoned gently, hearing the fear in my thoughts. "We are all just trying to make sure that there's a backup just in case, but there's nothing to indicate that it's necessary."

"Nothing to indicate what is necessary?" Nessie asked; she and Bella had just come back from their quick hunt.

"Nothing," I said, answering her too quickly. Nessie's suspicions were raised immediately. I heard her frustration over being kept out of discussions like this. She looked back and forth between her father and me, annoyed that neither of us were telling her.

"Does Jake know whatever it is? He will tell me," she threatened, reaching for her phone. I could hear in her mind that she had heard enough to guess what we were discussing.

Edward let out an irritated sigh. "Deja vu," he said, looking at Bella with an eyebrow raised. He turned to his annoyed daughter and explained what we had been discussing. She thought for a moment.

"Test it on me," she said, shrugging her shoulders as if this were the most obvious answer in the world. And while in some ways, she was right, that was irrelevant. No one would want to make her a guinea pig.

"What? No way," I protested.

She ignored this, turning to her father. Edward's mouth set in a line as he listened to Nessie's mental argument. She made some valid points, including her prediction that _she_ might need that kind of intervention in the future anyway, so she ought to know if it works. Bella looked at them, frustrated that she didn't know what Nessie was saying. Nessie took her hand and replayed her thoughts for her mother.

"Say something Dad," Nessie said.

Edward looked at Bella, who bit her lip. "I don't like it any more than you do," she said. "But she has a valid point. Several, in fact."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose, groaning in defeat. "Fine. I will talk to Carlisle later. Jacob is going to have a fit, you realize," he said, glaring at Nessie.

"I will handle him, Daddy. Thank you," she said, hugging him. Bella took Edward's hand and led him outside.

"Ness," I said. "I never would have brought any of this up..."

"Nonsense." She put her hands on her hips. "We both should know whether it works, right?"

I sighed, nodding. "I guess so. Thank you." I yawned, tired suddenly.

"Why don't you lie down for a while," Nessie said, her expression softening. "Not sleeping well?"

I shook my head. I rarely did when Chris is not there.

"Yeah, I know how that is," she said with a knowing smile. "Rest. You will need it when he comes home," she winked, turning to leave the room.

I considered protesting, but yawned again and decided she was right. I debated lying down in the guest room that I had claimed the last several nights, but didn't have the energy to go that far. I laid my head back on the pillow next to me and curled up on the couch, falling into a dreamless sleep almost immediately.

* * *

My eyes opened at the sound of a phone ringing. I looked at mine sitting on the table in front of me, but it was silent. I heard Edward speaking a few rooms away, he was relaying to Carlisle our earlier conversation. It sounded like Carlisle reluctantly agreed, but wanted us to wait until they all got back, which would likely be later in the morning. I looked at the clock and realized it was just after midnight. I smiled and breathed a sigh of relief, happy that Christopher would be back with me soon. I closed my eyes again, hoping that I would be able to fall back to sleep.

* * *

I rolled over, and immediately recognized the feeling of cool skin beneath me. I sat up too fast and had to squeeze my eyes shut to fight the dizziness that hit me for a moment. Hands gripped my arms keeping me steady. "Easy there," Chris said with a chuckle. I opened my eyes and his face was not even an inch from me, his hand moved to cup my face and he brushed his lips against mine. "I missed you," he murmured.

I kissed him back, prying his lips open with my own, and I felt him sigh into my mouth. Without breaking our kiss, he pulled me back down so that I was lying beside him. He ran his hands along my sides and under my shirt, removing it quickly. I ran my hands along his chest and down to his hips and groaned when I realized he had nothing on beneath the sheet he was laying under.

He moaned when I wrapped my hand around his cock, dragging my thumb over his head. He pumped into my hand, his hands tangled in my hair, before he dropped them to my hips, quickly but gently pulling off the rest of my clothes. He rolled so that he was on his back and I climbed over top of him, guiding my body down over his, taking him inside me. I moved over him slowly, finding my balance carefully. He steadied me with his hands on my hips, sitting up so that he could kiss me as we moved together in a slow, sensual rhythm. He held one of my hips firmly and his other hand covered my breast, his lips moving from mine to kiss down my neck and shoulder before taking my nipple into his mouth.

As he teased me with his tongue, I felt my climax starting to swell and I moved faster against him. I whimpered as his teeth gently grazed my nipple and his legs began to tremble at the sound. I ground myself against him harder now, his thrusts more frantic in response. I could feel his cock beginning to twitch inside me and I moved faster still, chasing my own release. He let out a strangled moan as he came, driving me over the edge to my own orgasm. He held my face in his hand again and kissed me tenderly, before carefully moving us so that I was again lying against his chest. I softly traced my fingertips over his skin, savoring the feeling of his arms around me.

"I missed you too," I said quietly. "I love you."

"And I love you," he said. After several quiet minutes, he spoke again. "So, I heard you and Edward had quite a lot to talk about today. He's not happy about Renesmee's suggestion, he's actually lobbying Jacob to take his side."

I sighed. "That wasn't my idea."

He hugged me tighter for a moment. "I know that, sweetie. So does Edward, for the record."

"What did Jacob say?" I asked.

"He was furious at first. I had to remind him that we had just finished the wall that he looked like he might break through when he overheard the call."

I laughed, distracted from our conversation by the mention of the nursery. "The room!" I exclaimed. "When can I see it?"

"We will go back in a few days," he said, kissing my forehead. "I want to let the paint smell air out a bit first."

"Do you have more pictures?" I looked up at him; he was smiling broadly and trying to keep thoughts of the room out of his mind. He shook his head.

"Nope, you have to wait to see the finished product." He grinned mischievously.

"Chris! I know what you're doing," I whined, swatting his stomach. "Do you really think that many people can keep that out of their thoughts?"

He rolled his eyes. "Can you please just be a good sport? Please?" He looked at me with his big golden eyes, beseeching me from beneath insanely thick lashes. Clearly he had been to hunt before coming home. I lost my train of thought for a moment.

"Ugh! Fine. I just want to see it," I whined. The baby moved suddenly, making me gasp. I held my stomach, grimacing and holding my breath for a moment while he found a more suitable position.

"Ellie? What's wrong?" Christopher asked, his hands on my stomach now, his voice thick with worry.

I let out the breath I was holding. "Nathaniel is having a little dance party at the moment. Little bugger is getting big." I said. "Ouch!" I cried out, I swear it felt like he was smashing his head into my hipbone, my hand moved to where it hurt.

Christopher's hand slipped under my own and rubbed the spot gently. "Apparently we need to have a talk," he said. "Nathaniel Masen, I know I haven't been here to remind you the last few days, but please be gentle to your mother. She's working very hard to take care of you, and you are getting to be very strong already," he said in a soothing voice. "That reminds me," he added, speaking to me now. "Edward thinks he will come earlier than Carlisle thought?"

"Yeah. His measurements indicate that his growth rate is picking up speed. It's all a guess though, isn't it?" I replied.

"I suppose. It's just so soon," he said.

"Nervous?" I asked him, craning my neck to smile at him.

He shook his head. "I'm not really nervous about him," he said, his hand on my stomach. "I just want to be sure that everything is okay..."

"I know," I said quietly. I curled up against him, feeling tired again. "I love you Chris, we will be fine," I mumbled sleepily.

"I know, love," he said, kissing my head. "Go back to sleep."


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42. Tests.

"Ahhhh!" I cried suddenly, sitting up with my arms folded over my stomach. I breathed in and out through my nose as the pain that roused me from sleep ebbed slowly. I realized that I was alone in the room.

"Christopher!?" I gasped, cringing from another wave of pain, all of the muscles in my stomach tightening under my hands. He raced through the door as soon as his name left my lips.

"Ellie! What's wrong?" he asked frantically, both of his hands on mine, sitting in front of me. I was still breathing through the pains radiating through my midsection, but I answered him through gritted teeth.

"It hurts, Chris," I groaned. My hand clasped his with an iron grip as the pain tightened around my stomach again. I squeezed my eyes shut and heard Christopher reminding me to breathe in my mind. When I opened them, the room had gotten much more crowded. I was covered by the bed sheets, but not by much. Chris realized this and took off his shirt and helped me put it on.

"Christopher," my father said in a commanding voice. "Can you help her lie back down for a moment?"

Christopher tried to help me lie down but I wouldn't budge, so instead he slid back into bed next to me and pulled me back so that I was reclined against him.

"Ellie," my father said to me, as I closed my eyes again, tensing as pain surged again. "I think you're having contractions."

I opened my eyes as it subsided. "What?" I gasped, confused. "It's too early, isn't it?" I breathed through another painful wave of tightening across my stomach.

"It is, but not by much," he said. "Remember it's not an exact science, especially in this case." He put his hands to my stomach, feeling for the baby's position. "Based on what Edward described from his last check I think he's moved down some. This could still be a false alarm though, is the pain getting any worse?"

He was listening intently to the baby's heartbeat while I considered my answer. After the pain subsided again, I took a deep breath.

"No," I said, still trying to regulate my breathing to a more normal pace. "That one wasn't as bad." I felt Christopher rubbing my arms, I knew he was feeling helpless and anxious. A few moments passed before I felt anymore tightening and I braced myself again for the pain. This time, however, it didn't hurt.

"How was that?" Carlisle asked, having felt the tightening as well.

"Okay," I said. "Just tight. Not painful." I looked at Chris.

"Where were you?" I asked curiously, not accusingly.

He looked at me with a guilty expression. "Sorry. We were discussing...Nessie's idea."

"Oh," I said, sitting up straighter again, looking from Christopher to my father. "And?"

Carlisle sighed, thinking back to the conversation. Jacob was indeed furious at the idea, and panic stricken that the venom would hurt Nessie. She was able to talk him down, but only because it goes against the deepest part of his nature to deny her anything. I saw the plan they laid out. Carlisle would make a small incision in Nessie's thigh and administer the venom to heal it. Since there would be no bite, he didn't expect a scar, but he warned her that it is possible that a scar might be left. I nodded numbly, still not comfortable with the idea of Nessie being the guinea pig.

I sighed, leaning back against Christopher. I was tired now. "When?" I asked.

"In the morning," my father answered. He smiled a little at me. "She will be fine. Get some sleep, okay?"

The room cleared out then, leaving Christopher and I alone. He was considering asking me to stay here until the baby is born; he was getting more nervous about delivery.

I laid my head against him and mumbled my protest. "No, I want to see his room Chris," my voice was barely a whisper. "Please."

He sighed. I could hear in his mind that he didn't want to argue with me. "Fine," he agreed. "We will go after..." he trailed off, but I knew he was referring to Nessie's test. I nodded, my eyes closed and my cheek against his chest. He put one of his hands against my face, and the other on my stomach, holding me gently to him. He wasn't hiding his anxiety, knowing I was almost asleep.

When I woke up, I was laying over one of Christopher's arms, facing him, his other hand still cupping my face gently. I opened my eyes and he was staring at me, a fierce but unreadable expression on his face. When he saw that I was awake, he pressed his mouth against mine, his lips moving furiously. I responded, kissing him back and pressing myself against him, surprised by the intensity of his greeting and trying to understand his mood through his thoughts. He wasn't touching me like he would normally be if he wanted to go further. This was emotional. After several minutes, I put my hands on his face and pulled back. We were both breathing fast; his eyes were closed. I waited for him to look at me, stroking his cheeks with my thumbs.

"Christopher?" I said softly. "What's wrong?" Finally he opened his eyes, sucking in a deep breath to collect himself.

"I'm sorry," he said. "It's just all starting to hit me that this could happen any time now. I'm so terrified that..." He looked away, swallowing. I knew he was nervous, but the fear in his eyes was new.

"Did something happen Chris? Did Alice see something?" When he didn't look up again I tried to move his face with my hands, urging him to look at me. "Chris, tell me please." My heart rate picked up.

"She's not sure," he whispered. "There was a moment while we were in Boston when she spaced out for a second but wouldn't explain it. I think it was when you and Edward were discussing contingencies. She said she couldn't make it out, but that it didn't seem that there was anything to worry about."

"But?" I prompted. I knew there had to be something else, his thoughts were unfocused, but the tenor of fear was unmistakeable.

I swallowed and my hands shook slightly. He looked at me then, moving so that his hands covered mine.

"Edward says she still sees the three of us after he's born," he hedged, trying to reassure me.

"But?" I said again. He shrugged, but the nagging feeling that there had to be more persisted. Still, I started to wonder if maybe I was reading too much into his mental anxiety; maybe my own fear was coloring my perception. His eyes flashed over my face, and I could see him relax ever so slightly. He thought I was letting it go. I knew then that I had been right all along, there _was_ something different now. I sat up to get out of bed but the movement was too quick. I was still crampy after the contractions earlier and I cringed as my muscles tightened in response. He held me to him as a I breathed.

"I'm okay," I said as I moved to stand, pulling out some clothes. He watched me cautiously as I dressed.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting dressed. I want to know what's going on."

"They're with Nessie now," he said.

"Oh god, I almost forgot," I gasped. "Did they do it yet?" He nodded.

"She's fine. It worked just like they said." He smiled slightly.

I held my hand out to him. "Come on." He stood and I wrapped my arms around his waist. "It's going to be okay."

He swallowed hard, but I felt him nodding against my head, holding me tightly. "You can't leave me, Ellie. I can't lose you," he whispered, his hand in my hair. I turned my face upward, reaching up to kiss him.

"Never," I whispered against his lips. "I promise."

A few minutes later we walked out to the living room. Most of the family was sitting around quietly. Nessie was sitting next to Jacob on the couch.

"Ness?" I said. "Are you okay?"

She turned to me and smiled. "Yep, they were right. It worked."

"But you're all right? Did it hurt? I'm so-" she held up her hand before I could finish.

"It's okay, really. I'm fine." Jacob's arm tightened around her protectively.

I looked around the room. "Where's Alice?"

"She's hunting," Edward answered. He was concentrating on the chessboard between him and Bella. She looked annoyed.

"Okay," I said slowly, drawing the word out. "Where's Dad?" No one answered.

"With Alice?" I said. No one answered. "What's going on?"

Christopher took my hand. I saw the confirmation in his mind that I had been looking for - something at the back of his mind that he wanted to tell me. Edward shot him a look.

"Chris, please. Wait for Carlisle."

"Edward. Wait for Carlisle for what?" I asked my brother. "What is Alice looking for?" My voice was getting higher. I could feel my heart racing inside my chest, something was going to go wrong and no one would tell me anything. I could feel myself calming suddenly. "Knock it off Jasper," I growled at my brother. He held his hands up and the feeling dissipated.

I turned on my heel and stormed out the back door. "This is ridiculous," Bella muttered. I heard chess pieces go flying and suddenly she was sitting next to me.

"Bella, please," Edward pleaded. She didn't acknowledge him.

"Ellie, we don't know what Alice saw yet. Well _most_ of us don't," she said irritably. Edward sighed. "She ran out suddenly. Edward told Carlisle to follow her."

I looked up at Chris. "That's why you were so upset before?" His phone rang before he could answer, I could tell he was trying hard to keep his face smooth. He answered and then hung up only a second later.

"Edward?" he called. "Carlisle wants to see us both." My brother appeared in the doorway and he shot an apologetic look to me. Christopher kissed my hand. _We won't be long. _With that they disappeared into the trees.

I sat there, numb and confused. "I still don't understand."

Bella put her arm around my shoulder. "I know. We will find out soon, okay?"

My mother stood behind me with her hands on my arms. She was anxious and frustrated. I put my hand on one of hers. We stayed like that, not moving for several minutes before another contraction caused my stomach muscles to seize up.

I gasped, my hands on my stomach and my eyes squeezed shut. Hands rubbed my back and my mothers voice softly reminded me to breathe. I exhaled slowly and breathed back in through my nose. The pain faded after a minute. I opened my eyes.

"They're almost here," I whispered. We all watched as Alice, Carlisle, Edward and Christopher walked up the front steps. All but Christopher went upstairs to Carlisle's office. Chris stopped in front of me, stooping down to look at me. He was trying very hard to calm his thoughts and control his expression but I could see in his eyes that something was wrong.

"Hi," he said, meeting my gaze only for a second before looking away. "I'm sorry about that. We need to talk to you."

I nodded and took his hand, my heart racing again with anxiety. I followed him up the stairs and into my father's study. I sat down and Christopher sat down next to me. Three anxious pairs of eyes watched us for a moment before Alice spoke.

"Ellie," she started, her thoughts carefully controlled. "Something has changed."

I tensed and Christopher's hold on my hands tightened. "What?" I asked, looking around.

"It's not 100% clear. The baby's movements aren't decided in advance, so it's difficult to say _exactly _what is going to happen, but I have seen enough to be concerned that you are going to ... struggle with the birth. It looks like there will be complications, after."

I swallowed. I knew this; it explained why everyone had been so strange from the moment I woke up.

"You still see us though, after?" She nodded. "So the baby, me...We're okay?"

She looked at Carlisle and then looked back to me. "Yes, but we're not sure what happens in between. There was something else that I saw this morning." She paused.

"What Alice, just tell me!" I cried, exasperated and scared. She looked at Carlisle again who nodded grimly. She closed her eyes and concentrated. I watched, staring through my family members standing before me as the vision appeared in my mind. Before I could register the scene, I pushed the image into Christopher's mind. The scene came into focus and it looked much the same as before. I was sitting in bed and Christopher handed me the baby. Alice concentrated on my face in the vision, and it wasn't until I heard Christopher hiss that I realized what was wrong. My eyes were red.

"Ellie," Alice spoke frantically. I sat stock still, frozen in shock. "Ellie I'm so sorry. I didn't know, I didn't see. I don't think it was supposed to be like that but something changed." I stood up, feeling dazed, and walked to the windows, not meeting my family's worried eyes as I passed.

"Ellie," Christopher was standing next to me. He held his arms out and I let him take me into an embrace. "Carlisle how is that even possible?" Chris rocked me gently, stroking my back as he addressed my father. _It will be okay, Ellie. _He thought to me. I was numb.

"I don't know. I mean, clearly it is, Alice and Edward both told me the vision is very clear." His voice was uneven; I could feel his eyes on my back as I clung to Christopher, still not reacting.

Edward was trying to gauge my thoughts, and was concerned to find that there weren't any really. I just kept seeing myself with crimson eyes, not believing that could be real. Carlisle cleared his throat, trying to steady himself before speaking.

"Ellie?" I peeked around Christopher's arms to look at him, not letting go. "Sweetie, I know this is a lot to take in."

I turned my head to the sound of my other family members at the door of the study. Nessie had guessed what was going on and my mother flew to where Chris and I stood, putting her arms around us both. I turned my head slightly toward her.

"Mom?" I said, my voice muffled by Christopher's hold on me. Tears started to fall then, though I still couldn't feel. Christopher released me to my mother's arms and I sobbed there for several minutes. "I'm scared," I whispered, as my emotionless facade started to crack. She rubbed my back and whispered in my ear that it would all be okay, but I just cried harder.

"Ellie," Christopher spoke now. I felt his hand on my shoulder. "Why don't you sit down, honey? Please," he said. My mother helped him lead me back toward the couch. I tried to breathe in deeply to calm myself. My mother kept hold of one of my hands while Christopher put his arm around me. I leaned my head on his shoulder and he kissed my hair. His thoughts were jumbled; he was trying to keep the images out, images of me lifeless, or screaming in pain from the transition. I swallowed another sob. Everyone but me looked at my father, waiting for him to speak.

I took a deep breath to steel myself. "Alice," I spoke up before my father could say anything. "What would happen if we decided _not_ to wait for the baby to come on his own? What if we delivered him before that?"

"Ellie," my father answered hesitantly, "The trauma that that would cause, the exposure to that much venom...You would still -" I interrupted him.

"I know that," I said, looking at him. "That's not what I'm asking." Christopher shot me a confused look. I looked from Chris to my father and sighed. They were both worried that I was glossing over the minor detail of my having to die to end up as Alice saw me in her vision.

"I'm still processing this, I'm _not_ ignoring it," I said to them. "But my question right now, is if delivery is now going to be so complicated that it..." I stopped mid sentence as Christopher sucked in a sharp breath, anticipating my next words, _kills me_. I shook my head to clear that thought and continued, "If delivery is going to be _that _complicated, does it make sense to wait?"

"Ellie, we shouldn't rush into anything," Carlisle cautioned. I ignored this, watching Alice. I tried to ignore the plaguing panic that was stirring in my stomach knowing that my father truly didn't know what to do.

"You'd have to decide, I can't see," she said. I sighed and looked back at my father. His mouth was set in a line; he didn't want to make this decision.

"Isn't that what you decided for Bella?" I asked, looking at Edward now. "The plan was not to wait anymore, right? Try to control the situation? Maybe it wouldn't be as...bad," I said.

"Ellie, we just said that-" Alice protested.

"I know that, but is that something you've actually seen?" My voice got higher. I really did believe that even if what they were suggesting would happen regardless of how I deliver, that a controlled delivery might make a difference. My eyes snapped up to meet my father's as I heard him echo this thought in his head. "Then why won't you _decide_?" I whispered to him.

I could see the pain in his eyes. He didn't want this outcome, and he was worried that it wouldn't work. He looked away after several seconds, nodding to Alice.

I watched as her eyes zoned out, focusing on the future. I saw my father and siblings preparing me for delivery. I cringed as flashes from the birth came into view. I saw the baby, held by Christopher. I saw a huge steel syringe, like the one used for Bella, in my father's hands. She skipped ahead, back to the scene in our bedroom, my crimson eyes staring back at me.

"So it would work?" I whispered.

Alice looked at me and smiled sadly. "It would, but you would still-"

"Die," Christopher choked.

"Chris, no," I said before he cut me off.

"No Ellie. That's what happens. You _die_." I put my hand to his face, he looked broken, devastated. His expression tore at my heart; I wanted to reassure him that it would all be okay. No one spoke for several moments, no one but Nessie and I even breathed.

"Christopher," Edward spoke, his voice strained. "She will be okay. If this is really the only way," he looked at Alice, "we can do this. We can save her."

Chris put his head on my shoulder, his composure slipping. His thoughts were still a mess and his body shook and he tried to hold back a sob of his own. I took his hand.

"I think we need to regroup for a bit," I said quietly. I stood up and he followed automatically. We left the room and I knew Alice would explain. I went to get my keys and my phone and led him to the car.


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43. Home.

"Where are we going?" he asked warily.

"Home," I said firmly.

"Do you want me to drive?"

"No." I slid behind the wheel and turned the key as he shut the passenger side door. He watched me as I flew through the local streets and onto the highway. I weaved through traffic, driving more aggressively than usual.

"Ellie," Christopher said softly. "Take it easy, love." He put his hand over mine. "It will be okay."

"Will it?" I shouted, clutching the wheel tighter with my left hand. I could feel tears starting to fall down my cheeks.

"Eleanor, pull over."

I ignored him.

"Ellie," he said more firmly. "Please, pull over."

I swerved toward the shoulder, stopping abruptly and throwing the car in park. I threw my head back against the headrest. I was so tired of crying, and I realized then that I would not even be able to soon. I started laughing hysterically as soon as that thought crossed my mind. Christopher looked at me like I was insane. I wiped the tears from my eyes, still laughing like a fool.

Chris opened his mouth and then closed it again.

"I'm sorry," I said between giggles. "I was about to complain about crying again and it occurred to me l-" I laughed harder, more tears pouring from my eyes. He could no longer contain a chuckle.

"Ellie, it's really not funny-" he said, before he lost it altogether, laughing with me. I turned to look at him and he grabbed my face in his hands and kissed me fiercely. I recalled the kiss from earlier and the frightened energy that passed through us as our lips moved together. I wanted desperately to climb into his lap, but my protruding stomach would never have allowed me to do so. I groaned into his mouth as his tongue forced its way into mine. I almost didn't notice the police car that pulled up behind our car, and I struggled to pull back from his face, his hands holding me to him. I pushed his chest with my hands and he reluctantly pulled away.

"What?" he groaned.

"Cop," I said. I took a deep breath and turned to the window as the officer approached.

"Everything all right folks?" he asked, eying my stomach and Christopher.

"Yes officer," I said. "I pulled over so that my husband could take over driving."

The officer nodded and opened my door, offering me his hand. Chris got out and walked around the car, annoyed that the cop was touching me. I had to hold in laughter at his irritation. Chris took my hand after the officer helped me out and walked me around the car. He shook hands with the cop and got in the driver's side. He slowly pulled away and didn't pick up speed again until the cop got off the highway a few exits later. As he sped up, he looked over at me, wary again. We didn't speak until we were back in the city.

"Ellie?" he said.

"Yeah?" I answered, looking out the window.

"Listen," he said hesitantly. "I need to bring something in when we get to the house. I wasn't going to tell you about it but I think you should know."

I saw it in his head before he could say anymore. "Oh," I said, my eyes widening slightly. In his head I saw the large syringe, filled with venom. I swallowed nervously.

"That one is mine," he said. "There's another one at your parent's' house."

I nodded. "Okay."

"Ellie," he said seriously. "I don't know how much longer it will be until Nathaniel is born, but until we get through this you cannot be alone. Do you understand?"

I turned my head to look at him now. His tone was so serious, the look on his face was pleading. He was terrified that something would happen when no one was around to help me. I put my hand on his arm.

"I understand Chris." A new wave of tears started to fall from my eyes as I thought about our baby. "Shit," I said, wiping my cheeks furiously.

"What? What is it, honey?" Christopher asked, worried.

"The baby. I've been so busy thinking about myself. Ugh," I said with disgust. "Chris, I don't want him to feel...responsible for this. Please promise me, whatever happens, please don't let him think that."

Christopher swallowed, and grimaced at 'whatever happens,' but nodded his head. "Ellie, of course. I promise," he said, barely louder than a whisper.

I squeezed his arm. "I'm sorry, Christopher."

He shook his head. "Don't," he said gravely as we pulled into our garage. He took a breath to collect himself and then turned to face me, turning the car off as he did so. He cupped my face in his hand. "Please don't. You _will_ be okay, Eleanor. I swear it, you will be. I will _not_ lose you, and I will not let our _son_ lose you." His voice broke slightly. I put my hand over his and turned my face to kiss his palm. We sat like that for a long moment before he moved to get out of the car. He appeared in front of my door in a flash, opening it and leaning in to kiss me.

"Give me one second," he whispered. He opened the door behind me and took out a small case, which I guessed had the syringe in it. I grimaced slightly but tried to control my expression before he stood in front of me again. He scooped me up, holding the case as well, and carried me into the house. I didn't protest, even though I could have walked, but knew he would feel better to stay as close as possible right now. He set me down, leaving the case sitting out on the kitchen table. There was no reason to put it away somewhere if I knew about it, he reasoned to himself. I assumed that the one my father kept was in his office. He took a deep breath with his back to me, and then turned to look at me, smiling brightly.

"So," he said. "Do you want to see the baby's room?"

"Yes!" I said, excited. He kissed my forehead and picked me up again. I laughed and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing his cheek. "I love you," I said with my lips brushing his face.

"I love you too, baby. So much," he said, kissing my lips. The kiss quickly escalated as we picked up where we left off in the car, stalling our progress to Nathaniel's room. He pulled away after several minutes, torn between wanting to take me upstairs to _our_ room, and wanting to finally show me what he and the rest of my family had done.

"Come on you, let's go see the room."

I laughed, putting my forehead to his. "Let's," I said. He heard the desire in my voice, and he groaned quietly. I kissed his neck in response as he carried me up the stairs.

"You're killing me, Ellie," he said with a laugh.

"Sorry," I whispered. "I will be good now."

"Oh, please don't," he said in a low voice. As he reached the top of the stairs though, he cleared his throat, trying to refocus. I did my best not to distract him further. He set me down in front of the room next to ours and turned the handle. He gestured for me to go first through the opened door.

I gasped as I looked around the room. The room was painted in a soft yellow color, with an ornate chair rail and crisp white paneling along the bottom half of each wall. Movement caught my eye - the window had been left open and the pale blue floor-length curtains fluttered in the cool breeze. Against the wall to my right was a simple but beautiful white crib. The room was furnished with pieces that appeared to be a mix of vintage and modern, which fit perfectly with the rest of the house. As I took it all in, he stood behind me and wrapped his arms around me, kissing my face. He was dying for me to say something but I couldn't find the words.

"So ... " he prompted. "What do you think?"

I turned to face him and reached up to kiss him. "I love it, it's so amazing," I said. "Thank you, so much."

He grinned, and kissed me back. With one arm behind my back and the other under my knees he lifted me up so that I was cradled against him, keeping his mouth to mine. I locked my arms around his neck and ran my fingers through his hair as he carried me into our bedroom and laid me on the bed. He stretched out next to me, holding me close as his lips trailed kisses along my jaw and neck. His hands moved slowly up and down my back, around my hips and up my sides. He repeated this motion several times, moving his leg so that it curled around my hip, holding me as closely as he could. I moved my hands to his chest, unbuttoning his shirt and dragging my fingertips along his skin. He moaned slightly at my touch.

"Ellie," he whispered, his hand stopped moving, resting on my hips now. "I'm not sure if we should." He was thinking of the contractions I had the night before.

"Please Chris," I pleaded. "Don't stop." He looked in my eyes, still hesitant. "Please," I said more firmly, pressing my lips back to his. He groaned but complied with my request, his mouth moving feverishly against mine. I ran my hands back up his chest and across his shoulders, moving his shirt down his arms; he shrugged it off the rest of the way. He slid his hands under my shirt and pulled it over my head, removing my bra quickly after. His mouth moved down my neck, to my collarbone, then down the middle of my chest. His hands cupped my breasts, teasing my nipples with his fingers while he dragged his tongue along my skin. He moved down my abdomen, over my belly button, and, after swiftly removing my pants, continued until he was between my legs, kissing and dragging his tongue along my inner thigh.

I groaned as he slipped two fingers inside me while he slowly moved his mouth closer to where my pulse was throbbing in anticipation of his touch. His fingers slowly moved in and out, and I moaned as he pressed the heel of his hand against my clit, my hips rising to rub myself against him. He moaned as he watched me move. I cried out as I felt his tongue finally reach my sex, moving against my clit rapidly. My hips bucked frantically and he continued to press his fingers into me as his mouth sucked and licked feverishly. I could feel my climax building and I groaned at a sudden loss of contact, only to find myself sitting up and straddling his lap. He smiled wickedly at me.

"Sorry, I couldn't wait anymore, you were driving me crazy," he uttered in a low voice. He guided me down over him, lying back so that I could move easier. I rocked over him, moaning at the feeling of my clit rubbing against his body and his cock thrusting into me. My hands were on his stomach, and I could feel his muscles tightening as he got closer to coming. He grunted as he thrust into me, and I dropped my head, moving harder against him. My eyes were closed as I started to lose control, but I could see myself in his mind, he watched me intently as I used his body to chase my release.

"Oh god, Ellie," he moaned, thrusting harder in me as his body began to tremble. "Fuck, you are so... oh god," he mumbled incoherently. The sound of his voice, low and rough, made me move more frantically, moaning loudly now. He moved harder still in response and moaned with me as my muscles clamped down around him, my orgasm crashing over me. He started to pulse inside me, coming with three deliciously hard thrusts. I leaned over him, still breathing hard, before climbing off of him and lying back down in his arms.

He rolled to his side, holding me tightly and kissing me sweetly. "Hi," he whispered. I ran my fingers lightly through his curly hair and then traced along the side of his face.

"Hi," I answered. I curled up closer to him, feeling tired now. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

I wasn't sure what time it was when I woke up. The sun had gone down, so I had been asleep for quite a while. Christopher was still holding me, but his thoughts were troubled. I stretched and sat up, leaning over him to kiss him. He smiled at me, trying to keep his expression light. I couldn't tell what was wrong, and was about to ask when he kissed me again. I gasped into his open mouth, surprised by the urgency in his kiss. We kissed for several minutes, holding each other tightly. He pulled away, looking slightly sheepish.

"Sorry," he said.

I laughed. "For what? You can wake me up like that anytime."

He grinned and cupped my face in his hands. "I love you."

We lay quietly for a long time after that, holding each other, still, listening to each other breath. My mind started to wander, thinking about the things that would be different for me soon. I had never struggled before resisting human blood, but I'd also never felt the burning of venom in my throat. I cringed as imagined this.

"What are you thinking about?" Chris asked quietly, his fingers tracing the lines of my jaw.

I hesitated, not wanting to upset him.

"Ellie? Tell me, please?"

I exhaled slowly through pursed lips. "I was just thinking about ...after," I answered vaguely.

His fingers stopped their course and I felt his palm against my cheek now. I lifted my eyes to meet his. "What about?" he said in a rough whisper.

I shrugged, turning my face slightly toward his hand to inhale his scent.

"Ellie, it's okay. You can tell me."

I sighed, my eyes looking down at his shoulder now.

"The thirst," I whispered. "The...venom. I'm scared that I will have a hard time. It's never been that hard for me, what if I can't do it? Control it, I mean?" I blinked a few tears away. "And what about Nathaniel? He's going to need blood, what if-"

Christopher silenced my increasingly panicked rant with a kiss. When he pulled back, more tears fell from my eyes.

"Ellie. You can do this," he said simply. He put his hand on my stomach, understanding my underlying fears. "And you will be here for Nathaniel. It's going to be okay. And for the record," he paused to make sure he had my attention, "I don't give a shit what you eat."

I smiled as he repeated my own words back to me.

"Did Alice see any of that, when you guys were in the woods?" I asked him. He looked away. "She did, didn't she? Tell me."

He kissed me softly, sighing. His breath was sweet on my face. "It wasn't clear, too many decisions have to be made between now and then. But..."

"But what?"

"She's worried that you will struggle some, yes," he said hesitantly.

I rolled to my back, my hands over my face. "I was afraid of that." I swallowed and then peaked through my fingers. "What if I'm too different? What if you don't want me?" I barely whispered these questions, and flinched at how ridiculous they sounded once spoken.

He propped himself up on his elbow, prying my hands from my face gently, a disapproving look on his face.

"Ellie, you will still be you. You are _mine. _Forever. I will _always _want you." He kissed me tenderly. When he pulled away, his eyes were smoldering. "You're already strong, you'll just be stronger. You're fast; you'll be faster. Yes the thirst is hard, but we will all be there to help you. We _will_ get through this," he said fervently.

"I love you, Chris," I whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"Stop it, love. Please don't," he said, his composure slipping again. "I just need you to be okay. I don't care if you hunt 100 humans a day as long as you stay with me. I will happily hold on to you for eternity if that's what it takes, just please, please don't leave me." The sob that was rising in his chest as he spoke broke through, with more behind it.

He dropped his head to my chest and cried there, and in his thoughts he told me he loved me and begged me not to leave him over and over. I cried with him, my tears soaking his hair, until my eyes grew heavy, exhausted by the chaos of our combined emotions.


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44. Fire.

I was dreaming. I had to be. It was hot. So very hot in this bed. The sheets burned against my skin. I squeezed my eyes shut and hissed a breath through my teeth.

Breathe in, Ellie. Breathe out.

I ordered my brain to keep performing this perfunctory task, afraid that it would forget under this scalding. I _had_ to be dreaming. Any minute now cold hands would shake me awake, and I would be embraced against the cool skin that would take this heat away.

I waited. Breathe in, Ellie. Breathe out.

I could hear yelling. It must have been me, but I couldn't feel the sound escaping me, the fire was in my throat too. I knew though that the dream would be over soon. Chris must have stepped out but he will come back now.

I waited. Breathe in, Ellie. Breathe out.

I felt something touch me, holding me; it wasn't the cool skin I was now dying to feel. I thrashed against the confinement, confused.

"Ellie, Ellie, honey it's me." Christopher's voice soothed me for a moment, and I tried to open my eyes, momentarily distracted from the searing heat that had engulfed me.

"Ellie, say something baby," he pleaded.

"Wakemeup," I gasped in a rush. "Please."

I heard a sob from beside me. "Honey, I'm so sorry. It's not a dream, but it will be over soon." My voice cried out louder. Something touched my face and my eyes flew open as my limbs reacted of their own accord, my senses alarmed by the unfamiliar contact. I gasped when I saw Christopher. His touch was wrong. I didn't understand.

"WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME!?" I screamed, squeezing my eyes shut again as a new wave of flames tore through my body. I felt myself thrashing and fighting against the arms holding me.

"STOP IT PLEASE!" I cried out. "Make it stop. Please," I repeated, gasping for breath. My brain had indeed forgotten to breathe.

Breathe in Ellie. Breathe out.

"Eleanor, sweetheart," my father's voice broke through my cries. "Can you hear me?"

I could feel myself breathing hard, and I dug my hands into the bed, bracing against the pain.

"Ellie, I'm so sorry. I know it hurts, I know. But you're nearly halfway through the transition I think. Hold on, you're doing so well."

The transition.

I'm burning. I'm dying. I'm _changing._

My mind finally registered what was happening. I felt my hands fly to my stomach of their own volition.

"The baby?!" I cried out. "Where's my baby?"

"Shh, Ellie, it's okay," Christopher tried to soothe me. "He's perfect. He was born yesterday morning, it happened so fast but you were amazing."

Hands squeezed mine. "Who keeps touching me," I whispered hoarsely, my eyes closed again. My body shuddered involuntarily from the flames roaring through my insides. I screamed, a new surge of flames erupting, angrier now.

I heard a gasp as I convulsed. A voice answered my question.

"It's me, honey. It's Christopher." His voice broke. "I love you so much, baby. Hold on for me, _please._"

I didn't respond. I had retreated back into my mind, telling my brain to breathe. Some time after this, I became aware of Christopher's mind again, the flames had left my brain I supposed. I could hear his thoughts while still struggling to ignore the flames tearing through my limbs and spreading into my chest. I gasped and sucked my breath back in, fighting the impulse to continue shrieking. I focused on Christopher's mind, and the feeling of his strange touch, holding me tightly. He was remembering the day before.

He was sobbing into my chest; I remembered this. He was quiet for several minutes and then he realized that my breathing was slow, I was sleeping. He watched me. I could feel his love for me; it was palpable. Even in his memory his overwhelming love practically burst through every cell in his body. Hours passed. Suddenly, I saw myself in his memory sitting and clutching my burdened middle, crying out.

He remembered how soon after that, I was standing beside the bed, bent over in another wave of pain, groaning and leaning against him with one of my arms supported by his own. Liquid spilled from me, my water broke. The baby that was no longer a part of my body was trying to get out. He was coming too fast.

He skipped forward; I wanted to tell him to show me it all. I needed to know how I ended up in this hell, but I could no longer find words. I saw him in my mind. Nathaniel. For a moment, the pain subsided. All I could feel was awe. Christopher thought of the tiny child, cradled in his arms. He looked like the boy in the portrait downstairs, but I could see myself as well. His eyes were green. He was a Masen after all.

"Nathaniel," I gasped. I felt Christopher kiss my head when I said our baby's name.

I lost time after that, not that I had a firm grasp on time at that moment anyway. I concentrated on my heartbeat, flying faster now than I ever thought possible, I was terrified of the absence of its fluttering beat. I reached my hand out for Christopher, and I felt his fingers lace through mine immediately. He kept the image of our baby in his head. His lips pressed to my forehead.

The image of the perfect baby boy was unable to abate the flames for long, however, and when a new wave of scalding heat flared, I cried out, arching my back and then curling myself toward the arm that had linked around my own, the hand attached to it holding mine tightly. Another hand reached over me and I felt fingers combing through my hair, Christopher's voice in my ear, whispering as I writhed and gasped. I could feel the familiar shape of his chest against me, his skin so much warmer to me now.

He was quiet for a moment. I missed the sound of his voice. I realized I was starting to be able to focus on it rather than the blinding pain.

"Chris. Please," I whispered.

"Please what, honey? I'm here baby," he said.

He was quiet again and I heard a rasping groan escape my lips; I was frustrated by his silence but my burning throat wouldn't let me speak.

"Your voice, I think, Christopher," my brother spoke. "Her thoughts are finally clearing some. Your voice is helping."

"Oh god," he gasped in relief. He started talking again, pausing only to take a breath. He talked for hours, days even; I couldn't be sure. I only knew that when I could hear his voice, the pain was locked away in the far corners of my mind.

When he ran out of things to say, he sang to me. I realized as he sang that now I really could forget to breathe. His voice was more beautiful than I remembered.

_And after the storm, __I run and run as the rains come._

_And I look up, I look up, __on my knees and out of luck, __I look up. _

_Night has always pushed up day. __You must know life to see decay. __But I won't rot, I won't rot._

_Not this mind and not this heart, I won't rot._

_And I took you by the hand. __And we stood tall,_

_And remembered our own land. __What we lived for._

_And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears._

_And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears._

_Get over your hill and see what you find there,_

_With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair._

_And now I cling to what I knew, __I saw exactly what was true._

_But oh no more. __That's why I hold, t__hat's why I hold with all I have._

_That's why I hold. __And I won't die alone and be left there._

_Well I guess I'll just go home, __oh God knows where._

_Because death is just so full and man so small._

_Well I'm scared of what's behind and what's before._

_And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears._

_And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears._

_Get over your hill and see what you find there,_

_With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair._

I waited for the tears that would normally be brimming in my eyes, hearing him sing to me. I realized that they would not come. He started whispering again in my ear, sensing my tension at the momentary absence of the sound of his voice. Sometimes he just told me he loved me, over and over again.

Sometimes he told me stories that I knew he was afraid that I would forget, we were unsure how many of my half-human memories would remain. He told me about how his whole world changed the day we met in the forest, and despite the presence of however many family members in the room, told me about how he would forever be grateful that he had infuriated me enough to come yell at him in his office the day after he met my father.

I heard a soft chuckle at this and I was suddenly aware of my father, standing beside our bed. I could see his expression in Christopher's mind. The blazing fire was beginning to fade from my extremities, but I felt like the fire had tripled in size, deep within my chest.

"CHRISTOPHER!" I screamed as my chest burned.

"Ellie," my father spoke in a soothing tone, or at least it _would_ be soothing if I weren't burning from the inside out. "It's almost over. Do you want me to tell you what happens now?"

I tried to speak again, but my throat seared. I put my hand to my neck and groaned, trying to nod my head. Carlisle spoke again. I could hear his voice wavering from its usual solid confidence.

"Ellie, you're nearing the end of the process. The pain will become more centralized, and increase for a short time while it burns out, so to speak." He swallowed, collecting himself. "Your heart will stop soon. That will be the end," he said, his uncharacteristically shaky voice hardly more than a whisper. I heard my mother weeping; I didn't realize she was there until now.

I felt Christopher kiss my neck; I shook as he sobbed again against me. I felt each of my hands being held in someone else's. I knew from their thoughts that my parents had each taken one of my hands in their own. Their touch felt wrong, like Christopher's. I wanted to tell them so, it frightened me not to feel their cool skin; it's all I had known from them. I felt them both shaking, crying as the child they raised from infancy passed through the final stage of transition.

I was dying. I knew that. I could feel my heart flying at a rate so fast I could no longer discern individual beats. I knew that any second it would falter, and the hellish transformation would be over. I gasped as it flew into it's final beats, so fast that I felt as if I couldn't possibly catch an adequate breath, and before it thundered to a stop I heard every member of my family stop breathing, knowing what was about to happen.

A final thud was followed by a deafening silence.

Before I gave my eyes permission to open, I became aware of several things. The absence of the flames let me truly feel the warmth of Christopher's touch. He was no longer sobbing, nor was he breathing, but I could feel his body next to mine. The feeling of him was exhilarating and disorienting all at once. I took in a deep breath. I could smell him, the same as before. Relief washed over me at this. There was a new smell, and I realized it must be Nathaniel's scent lingering on Christopher.

I could hear minds clearly again, everyone at once now. I realized then that I could hear then all along during my transition, but with the searing pain I was only able to _focus_ on one or two at a time. Their mental voices were so much louder now. I winced at the internal volume but marveled for a moment at how much more efficiently my mind could process all of their thoughts. I would have to talk to Edward about this. I heard him chuckle.

I moved my hand, so fast it felt like it moved before my thought was fully formed. I was reaching to my right, reaching to touch Christopher. He put his hand over mine and kissed my palm.

"Ellie, sweetie, open your eyes. Please," he whispered.

I complied, opening my eyes slowly. My parents were standing in front of me and I sat up, startled, moving to cover myself when I realized that someone had wrapped a robe around me.

"Mom?" I said, wincing at the sound of my voice. It sounded wrong. "Daddy?"

"Ellie," my mother gasped. She walked toward me slowly, her arms outstretched, I raised mine as well and she blurred to me to wrap me in a hug. I tried to remember to be careful, waiting until her arms locked around me to return her embrace, trying to match the strength of my hug to hers. She kissed my cheek and pulled away, her hands combing through my hair as she looked at me. "I love you, sweetheart. I'm so sorry you had to go through that," she said. I smiled weakly at her, remembering the pain that ceased only a few minutes ago.

My father stood beside her now, his face looking both relieved and heartbroken as he met my eyes. My eyes, I realized. I raised a hand to my face self-consciously. He smiled and held out his arms to me now.

"Don't worry about that," he whispered, kissing my cheek and hugging me. "I love you. How do you feel?"

I pulled back from him and considered this.

"Weird," I said, looking down at the sheets. He chuckled softly.

"Weird is understandable." He took my mother's hand. "We will give you two some privacy. You should have her hunt soon, Chris." Chris nodded and stood, embracing my father.

"Thank you," he said, his voice breaking with emotion. "Thank you for saving her."

I could hear in his mind that Carlisle did not have words for this. He returned Christopher's embrace, placing his hand on the back of Chris's head for a moment before letting go. Christopher straightened up and turned to face me, and suddenly I couldn't see anything else.

I was aware of my parents leaving the room and closing the door behind them, but I could only focus on Christopher standing in front of me. He looked like he'd been through hell; my heart broke for him.

"Chris," I said, climbing from the bed and reaching for him. He smiled and rushed to me, taking me in his arms. I could smell his scent all around me as he held me and it made me dizzy, I needed to feel his skin against mine. He knew exactly what I wanted before I could speak the words, or maybe he needed the same. I felt his hands slip under the soft robe that was around me. He lightly ran his hands up my sides to my shoulders pulling the robe down off my arms, letting it drop to the floor.

He moaned softly as he looked at me, I could see myself through his eyes. I still looked like me, but I could see the added definition in my arms, legs and abdomen. My face was unchanged, except for the eyes. My hair looked mostly the same, I had already benefited from vampire genes before.

"Chris," I whispered. "I love you."

He kissed me then, harder than I was accustomed to. I always knew he had to be slightly cautious with me, but I didn't realize how much until then. I moaned into his kiss, opening my mouth to his. I pressed my body against him, gasping at the feeling of his chest against mine.

I felt his hands slide to the top of my arms, pulling away from me reluctantly.

"Oh god, Ellie," he said, breathing hard. "I love you so much."

I broke his hold easily, locking my arms around his neck. I kissed him urgently; forcing his lips open with my open, forgetting to be careful. I bit his lip in my haste, and he growled in response. The sound made me groan and he dropped his hands to my ass, pulling me closer to him. I was about to hoist myself up to wrap my legs around his waist, I didn't care that my family was waiting downstairs at that moment. Suddenly, his lips were no longer against mine, and I whimpered at the loss of contact.

"Ellie, Ellie, wait," he said, chuckling softly. His arms were no longer around me; his hands were now gripping my wrists. "Believe me I want that too," he said in a husky voice as he put his hand on my face. "But shouldn't we hunt first? How do you feel?"

I put my hand to my throat and groaned, the scorching venom in my throat roaring.

He kissed me softly. "I know sweetie. That will get easier. Let's get dressed, we will get in the car and go."

I pouted. I knew we needed to go, especially before I could see Nathaniel.

"Oh my god," I said, my hand flying to my mouth. "Nathaniel." As soon as the name left my lips, the idea of waiting to see my baby was too painful to consider.

Christopher beamed proudly. "He's downstairs. He's amazing."

"Can I see him?" I pleaded. "Please?"

* * *

A/N: The song lyrics above are from "After the Storm," by Mumford and Sons. Thank you for the recent reviews! Keep them coming! There are a few more chapters left. I am planning on continuina with a sequel from Christopher's perspective for a change, which I've been wanting to delve into for a while.


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45. Begin Again.

"Don't you think we should hunt first?" he asked again gently. I knew though that he wouldn't fight me.

"Christopher, please. I need to see him." He cupped my face in both of his hands and I placed my hands over his. "Please."

He was quiet, debating with himself. After a moment though, I knew I had won. "Esme, would you bring the baby up please?" he asked quietly. I heard her agree and I walked to the closet to find something to wear and dressed in a flash. I was moving faster than usual, the motions felt wrong.

"Christopher," I said.

"What sweetheart?" He was standing behind me now, his hands on my waist.

"Everything feels so strange. Like it's the same but _not."_

He wrapped his arms all the way around my waist now, kissing my neck. I reached up and tangled my fingers in his hair, leaning against him.

"I know honey," he said.

I spun around to face him, almost knocking him over. I caught his arms with my hands. "Sorry," I breathed, his face barely inches from mine now. "You feel so warm to me now," I marveled, staring at his chest moving as he breathed. My hands were resting on his skin and I curled my fingers, pressing in slightly. His mouth opened at the feeling of my hands on his skin. He felt softer under my hands now, but still strong. I moaned softly as his muscles tightened under my touch.

A knock on the door made me spin around again. It was my mother; I could see my baby in her arms through her mind.

"Come in, Mom," I answered.

The door opened and my mother walked in, gently cradling Nathaniel in her arms, bundled up in a soft blue blanket. I gasped at the sight of him. I could see his dark curls peeking over the blanket. I watched as she handed him to Christopher and only then did I notice that my brothers were standing just inside the doorway now, waiting for me to do something newborn-ish.

"Hi guys," I said, waving awkwardly.

"Hey Ellie," Emmett spoke first. "How are you doing?"

I shrugged. "Ask them," I said, pointing to Jasper and Edward. Emmett chuckled while the other two kept watching me warily. Jasper was anxious that I had not yet hunted. Edward was carefully monitoring my thoughts.

"Actually," Edward spoke. "You're doing really well, Ellie. But you really should hunt soon."

I heard Nathaniel stir and I turned back around and stared at Christopher cradling the baby now. He was looking down at Nathaniel with the most amazing smile; I stopped breathing as I watched him gently trace his fingers over the baby's tiny features. I stepped closer and felt my brothers all following closely behind me.

Christopher arched an eyebrow at them, and raised one hand, holding Nathaniel easily in the other. "Easy guys."

"Christopher," Jasper said, getting irritated. "She needs to hunt."

"I'm still in the room you know," I spat at my brother. His anxiety was fueling my irritation. "I will hunt after I get to see my _son_. I don't even remember his birth for fuck's sake."

I turned back to my husband and son and held out my arms. "Please Chris, may I?"

He smiled, kissed me softly, and handed me the small bundle. I stared at the baby in my arms, awestruck. I realized he was smaller than Renesmee had been after Bella changed.

"Chris?"

"Yeah?"

"How long has it been?"

He knew what I meant. "Only about forty-eight hours. Your change was so fast, but then you were halfway there already."

I nodded, staring at the tiny child. I brought him closer to my face and inhaled. Everyone, even Christopher tensed. I rolled my eyes and placed a gentle kiss on my baby's forehead. While everyone else relaxed, I gasped. The baby opened his eyes and smiled at me. He had teeth - his grin was breathtaking. I could see his thoughts now too, I realized, I hadn't been paying attention to that before. He remembered me. I gasped a dry sob when I realized he knew who I was. He thought about the last time he saw me - I was crumpled on the floor, blood pooled near me, my father crouched over me. The scene went blank suddenly - Bella was shielding my mind from his memory.

"What? Why is she doing that?" I gasped. The sight of myself in my baby's mind sent shockwaves through me.

"Ellie, we will explain everything, but not now, okay?" Christopher said gently, placing his hands on my shoulders.

I took a deep breath and my nerves calmed slightly. I looked back down at the baby. He was starting to squirm; he was hungry. I gasped again as the burning in my throat was nearly unbearable then.

"Take him," I whispered roughly. "He needs to eat."

My mother suddenly disappeared from the room, Nathaniel in her arms. Christopher's hands had tightened on my shoulders.

"Come on Ellie," he whispered. "Let's get in the car." He led me down the stairs and out into the garage. Thankfully we did not pass through the room where the rest of our family was waiting. I wasn't ready to see them yet.

He opened the passenger side, holding my hand as I climbed in. He climbed in behind the wheel and sped off, weaving through the city.

"Alice told me we wouldn't run into any police, so don't worry about that," he said.

I nodded.

"Tell me what happened," I said quietly as he drove. "Please."

He looked at me, confused. "You really don't remember?"

I shook my head. "The last thing I remember, before the burning, was falling asleep after we cried together." I swallowed. "I thought I was dreaming. I was waiting for you to wake me up."

"You said that, you know," he whispered. "You said 'wake me up.' God, I so wish I could have, Ellie. You were in so much pain and I couldn't help you. I'm so sorry," he said, his voice shaky.

"Christopher. Please tell me. What happened?"

He turned his head to look at me for a second and then back at the road again. I watched him squeeze the steering wheel anxiously and I lost focus for a moment, watching his hands. I licked my lips watching his hands move, remembering how they feel on my body. I shook my head slightly and refocused.

"Chris. Please." I had nearly forgotten my thirst, desperate to know what had gone wrong during delivery. Christopher debated with himself silently; he wanted to get me fed before potentially upsetting me with the details. His indecision reminded me of the burning in my throat and I leaned my head back and groaned.

"Your throat?" he asked quietly, his voice soaked with understanding.

I nodded, closing my eyes and willing my senses to focus on something else to distract from the pain. I retreated into my mind while Christopher merged onto the highway. I knew soon he would be pulling over. I listened to the sounds around me. The purr of the car's engine, the tires on the road, Christopher's breathing. I listened to him for a minute or two, desire suddenly building again for him. I heard his chuckle - he could tell what I was feeling at that moment.

"Soon, love," he whispered in a low voice. I felt like my mind was spinning. I turned my head, still against the headrest, to watch him. He hadn't changed from the wrinkled shorts that he had clearly been in the whole time I changed, and he just threw on a t-shirt before we left. Normally he would have taken care to dress more appropriately for the cold weather outside, but I was thankful at that moment that he hadn't done so today. I could see his arm and leg muscles flexing ever so slightly as he drove, and my mouth opened slightly as I watched him. I wanted to lick every inch of him.

His eyes widened and he gripped the steering wheel tighter. My train of thought was interrupted by confusion at his body language. He swallowed roughly and looked at me.

"I'm sure we can make time for that," he said, laughing quietly to try and soften the surprise on his face.

I stared at him confused.

"You were thinking about me. Licking me to be exact." He winked at me as he said that. "You um, shared that one with me."

I gaped at him in open shock now. "I did?!"

He nodded, his eyebrow raised. I turned back to face the road then, considering this. I had been entirely focused on him but had no idea that I had opened my mind, or rather forced my thoughts into his mind at that moment. Before, this took effort, though we had recently discovered that it was easier during moments of intimacy. I had never unconsciously shared my thoughts with him though.

"Well that could be a problem," I said wryly.

He laughed louder now. "I didn't mind, truly."

"It's not a bad idea though," I said, grinning.

"Not at all," he said, grinning back. He was quiet for a moment before he reached out for my hand, lacing his fingers through my own. When he spoke again, his tone was gentle, loving.

"It's okay to be overwhelmed Ellie. I know you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself because not _all_ of this is new, but no one expects you to adjust overnight. You didn't exactly have a lot of time to prepare."

He pulled over into the shoulder; luckily the sun wouldn't be up for several more hours. I realized for the first time that there was snow in the ground.

"I'll be damned," I said, stepping out of the car, listening to the hardened snow and ice crunch beneath my feet.

"Yeah, she called that, didn't she?" Chris said. He was standing behind me now, his hands on my waist. I shuddered, his hands on me sent a new wave of desire through my body. He kissed my cheek and urged me forward.

"Come on," he said. "Before someone sees."

I walked toward the trees and we disappeared into the woods. He took my hand again and took off running, full speed. I kept up with him easily. I could have overtaken him just as easily, I realized with a smile. I could smell a pack of deer to our left and he gestured for me to go first. I made a face but headed toward the unappealing animals. I was surprised at my outright distaste for their blood as I drained a few. I had been raised hunting animals; it had never bothered me before. When I was done, I turned to Christopher who took off after the remaining deer. I sat down to wait for him, surprised that he left me alone. He came back quickly and sat down beside me.

"So who followed us out here?" I asked.

He looked at me with an innocent expression. Bingo, I thought. "What do you mean?"

"Christopher, I wasn't _actually _born yesterday, or today for that matter. You ran off and left me sitting here. I could have taken off back to the highway for dessert."

"Did you want to?" He asked, smirking. I rolled my eyes at him.

"No, of course not. But I know you. And I know our family. Obviously Bella is there, since I wouldn't hear her at all; Edward too since they're far enough that I can't smell them. Who else?" I was disappointed that this likely meant that Edward's range was still farther than my own.

He shrugged. "Not sure. Honestly."

I stretched my arms out behind me, leaning back with my palms in the snow. "Whose idea was it?" I asked him in a harsh tone. I wasn't sure why I was so irritated by this. I just knew I wanted to be alone with my husband and instead we were being observed.

"Jasper's."

"Of course." I sighed.

Suddenly, Christopher was on his knees beside me, and I was distracted again by his body. He maneuvered himself so that he was lying between my legs, and he playfully knocked my arms out so that I fell back against the ground. He cradled my head in his hands, protecting me unnecessarily from the fall. I moaned softly at the feeling of the full weight of his body pressing into mine.

"You're trying to distract me, aren't you?" I asked. He grinned and dropped his head, pressing his lips to my neck. I winced as I realized that something on my neck stung, my hand flew to cover the spot.

"Ow," I said. "What the fuck?"

"Oh shit, Ellie I'm sorry about that, does it still hurt?" He caressed around the spot gently, a guilty expression on his face. "I, um, bit you when things got rough. Edward had to run down to get the syringe," he paused, mentally flogging himself for leaving it downstairs. "And I was worried we were running out of time. I'm sorry, you won't notice it soon."

I knew I should have used that as my excuse to press for more details, but what he told me inexplicably turned me on. I kissed him roughly, moaning as his mouth opened to me and his tongue pushed into mine. He groaned, his hands flying over my body now. He needed this too, I knew. He needed the confirmation that I was really okay. He took my clothes off gently and his shorts and shirt followed. I could feel him pressing against me as he settled back down between my legs. He reached a hand up to cup my face, a serious expression on his.

"If this is too much, tell me. We don't have to do this yet," he said, his voice rough.

"Christopher Dawling," I growled. "Are you suggesting that you may be too much for me?" I pushed my hips up to him and he entered me, pushing into me hard. "Oh god," I groaned as he pulled back out and plunged into me again.

"Apparently that's not the case," he said with a moan, his eyes rolling back slightly. I tangled one hand in his hair and grabbed his ass with the other, urging him into me further. He thrust harder in response and my muscles contracted around him as I came, the sensation causing him to explode in me. We cried out together in our combined orgasms.

He looked at me as our movements stilled, kissing me softly, lightly tracing my lips with his tongue. "I'm sorry," he said with a grin. "I couldn't hold out, you were so fucking gorgeous underneath me."

"Yes, be sorry for making me come around you," I purred, grinning back at him. I ran my fingers through his hair and kissed his cheek. He laughed. I could feel the relief radiating off of his skin.

"I would love to stay like this all night, but they are going to be waiting for you."

I sighed, my fingers still combing his hair. "Nathaniel," I said simply, smiling. "Does he have any tricks?"

Chris laughed and shook his head. "Not yet anyway. I think you've all filled the quota in that department. Edward says his mind is on a similar track to you and Renesmee, development wise. He understands much of what we say." He smiled. "He thinks about you constantly."

I sat up and the movement startled me. Christopher laughed at my expression. "Don't laugh at me!" I whined.

He looked admonished and sat in front of me, his hands on my face. "I'm sorry," he said and kissed me sweetly. "Are you ready to go back?"

I looked up to meet his eyes and put my hands over his. "Show me what happened first. Please. I need to know this." He sighed, closing his eyes. He showed me the same scene that I saw while I was burning.

_I woke with a start to a contraction - I bent over my stomach, breathing through the pain. More contractions followed every few minutes. Christopher frantically dialed my father's phone. Carlisle picked up right away._

_"Christopher," my father answered. "Is she okay?"_

_"Carlisle, I think she's in labor," Christopher said, his voice strained. He was trying to help me support my weight as I bent over the bed now, moaning from the pain._

_"Shit," Carlisle swore. I heard car doors slamming and the sound of a car starting. "We're on our way Christopher."_

_By the time Carlisle, my mother, Rosalie and Edward arrived the contractions were closer together and my water had already broken. I was moaning incoherently that the baby was moving down, I felt like I needed to push. He remembered Nathaniel being born, and how I got to see him and kiss his head, but before I could hold him, my eyes rolled back and my body went limp._

_"Carlisle!" Christopher cried, panicking. "What's wrong? Ellie!"_

_Christopher handed the baby to Esme as Edward, Rose and Carlisle all sprang into action trying to stop whatever was happening to me. There was a lot of blood, I wouldn't respond to them when they shook my shoulders or called my name._

Chris shook his head and the memory cleared from my mind. He looked at me and swallowed back a sob. I knew he would have tears in his eyes if he were able.

"I'm sorry, I know my memories are all over the place. I couldn't think. You were lying there lifeless and I felt completely helpless. That's when Edward ran to get the syringe."

"And you bit me," I said, smirking at him in spite of myself.

"Yes." He raised an eyebrow at my expression. "I bit you. I am sorry about that, I felt like I needed to _do_ something."

"It's okay, Christopher. So, what caused it?" He knew I was referring to the way my body went completely lifeless.

"Carlisle's not 100% sure, but he thinks it was an amniotic fluid embolism, I think he called it. Something got into your bloodstream and your body just shut down. It happens rarely in humans, so of course it happened to you," he shook his head at this. "Edward and Carlisle guessed that maybe the baby bit you..."

I nodded, processing this. My hand absently drifted to my neck, where my skin was still tender from Christopher's venom. He brushed my hair out of my face, kissing me softly.

"You _really_ don't remember that?"

"I really don't. I know what you thought of while I was...changing, I remember nothing after falling asleep before." I let out a shaky sigh. "I'm going to miss sleeping next to you. I know that's ridiculous because I will be awake with you..." I trailed off.

He shook his head. "It's not ridiculous. I will miss you sleeping next to me too," he smiled lovingly at me. "But I am sure we can find lots of fun things to do with all of our extra time," he added with a wink.

Several minutes passed while we sat in silence.

"How do you feel?" he asked again. "Do you want to hunt some more before we go back?"

"No, I think I'm good for now. We will be doing a lot of this, huh?" I replied.

"Yeah," he laughed. "Carlisle has practically written out a schedule."

I rolled my eyes and stood up with a swift movement. "Come on then. Let's appease the nervous nellies."

He stood and took hold of my hand. We ran back toward the edge of the tree line and slowed to a walking pace as we got closer to the highway. He opened my door for me, wrapping me in a warm hug before I got in.

"I love you Eleanor. I know this is a lot to take in, but it will be okay," he whispered, his lips against my ear. The emotion in his words made me catch my breath. "I will take care of you, Ellie. I swear."

"I love you too, Christopher. I'm so sorry for putting you through this," I said. I looked up at him and placed my hand over his mouth as he started to protest. "No, please, let me get this out. I am sorry for the worry and pain that this has caused you, and for anything that I put you through while I get used to all of this. I really am. I love you so much. I was so scared and all I could think of was that you were there with me."

I could feel a sob rising in my chest, I tried to suppress it but wasn't able to. Christopher lifted my face and pressed his lips to mine, quieting my tearless crying.

"Shh," he whispered as he pulled away. "It's okay, Ellie. Everything's going to be okay. Come on, let's get home."

We didn't speak much as we drove back into the city. He held my hand the whole way. I watched him, mesmerized by his smile as he thought about when I held Nathaniel earlier.

"I can't believe it's all real," I said quietly.

He brought my hand to his lips and kissed my fingers, looking up at me with a broad smile. "I know exactly what you mean."

* * *

A/N: Review please! :)


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46. Adjusting.

"Nervous?" Christopher asked, though he already knew the answer.

I nodded. "I don't want to be on display, or picked apart. I'm worried that every move I make will be analyzed. I haven't even screwed up yet and I feel like I'm going to be in trouble."

He put a hand over mine. "There's no reason to feel that way, love. Everyone in there just wants to help."

I listened to the thoughts of my family members as we sat in the garage and grimaced. "They want us to come back to New Hampshire," I said.

Christopher sighed. "I'm not too surprised by that. Come on, one thing at a time, okay?" He squeezed my hand and studied my face, waiting until I was ready. I smiled and nodded, taking a deep breath. He leaned over to kiss my forehead. "Okay," he whispered, opening his door.

I got out and he took my hand again, leading me into the house. We walked into the living room where everyone had gathered, and I felt a collective sigh of relief as my siblings saw me. I squinted as if under a bright light, but only because their thoughts, while loving and supportive, were louder in my mind than I remembered. I looked at Edward.

"God, is it always so loud?" I asked him.

He grinned and nodded. "You will adjust to that. I am sorry that it didn't occur to me to warn you that might happen."

"How was your hunt, Ellie?" my father asked me.

I shrugged. "It was fine."

Jasper tried to choke down a laugh, but failed. "Something you'd like to say there, Jazz?" I asked him, raising my eyebrow. I remembered with aggravation my earlier assertion that my siblings were watching us. His reaction to my answer confirmed my suspicions.

"Seemed like it was more than fine from where I was standing," he said, making a face. Bella giggled awkwardly as Edward pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Perhaps that will teach you not to spy on people," I retorted. Jasper was about to say something else, but Carlisle held up his hand in a signal that Jasper and I both recognized to mean 'knock it off.' My irritation with my brother gave way unexpectedly to a sudden rush of affection for my father as I registered the familiar, paternal act. I almost felt dizzy from the constant shift of emotions.

"I was referring more specifically to how you felt when you fed, Ellie," Carlisle said, smiling in spite of himself. I could hear in his thoughts that while he didn't want to know what happened, he could make a pretty good guess. He actually thought that was good for us, and I could hear the assertion in his thoughts that the time alone likely helped to settle some of my nerves. I looked at him, my eyes widened slightly, embarrassed by his train of thought. He cleared his throat. _Sorry_, he thought.

"We found some deer, and it was…fine," I said, shrugging again.

Carlisle smiled gently. "Not particularly appealing? Less so than you recall?"

I looked at him for a long moment, before nodding once and then looking down. I again saw the reflection of my red eyes in his mind. I knew he would love me no matter what, they all would, but it was there. I heard it. It was just an errant thought, but he thought of my face before, my eyes a brilliant blue. He missed it, the sight of me as a full vampire, dead but not and with blood red eyes, saddened him. I swallowed and looked back at him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, before turning and bolting out the door. Moving only fast enough to get past Christopher and out the door to the garage, I slowed and waited for him before I got out to the alley, careful not to draw attention.

"Ellie!" he shouted to me, clearly relieved when he found that I hadn't gone far. He pulled me against him and held me tightly. "What was that about?"

"I'm sorry, I just needed to get out of there. Can we take a walk?" I asked him.

"Okay," he said. He led me by the hand, keeping my hand in an iron grip. We walked down the street aimlessly. I was perfectly content to go wherever he led me. I could hear in his thoughts that he was hoping that we wouldn't come too close to anyone while we were exposed on the street like this. I wrapped my arms around his waist, tucking myself under his arm as we walked.

"You can hold on to me Chris, I would rather that anyway," I said quietly. He kissed my hair, tightening his hold.

After we were a good distance from the house, I knew he wanted me to fill in the blanks. "Sweetheart, can you tell me what happened? Why you needed to leave?"

I sighed, waiting again for the familiar reaction of tears that were not coming. He stopped and turned me to face him, one of his hands moving to cup my face.

"Ellie. You can tell me, honey."

"It's stupid," I said. "My dad, he was thinking of my eyes, before. He misses them; the red makes him sad. It hurt, I guess. I mean, I understand. But I think of you earlier, and how elated you are that I made it through all of this, and it hurt."

He kissed me once and then pulled my head against his chest. I breathed in his scent.

"Ellie, it's okay. It's okay to feel that way. Everyone is processing this as best they can, but all you should be worried about is how you are adjusting. But I know that's hard for you, it has to be with all of our thoughts in your mind all of the time." He paused and kissed my forehead.

I picked my head up then, I heard familiar minds approaching.

"What is it?" Chris asked, before their scents hit him. "Ah. Edward, Bella, hello," he said as my siblings rounded the corner toward us.

"Hey Ellie," Bella said.

"Hi Bella. Checking up on me?" I asked in a harsher tone than I intended. "Sorry," I said quickly. "I'm having a rough day." I laughed at my own comment.

She smiled and held her arms out to hug me. "I know, sweetie. It's okay," she said as I accepted her hug.

When I pulled back from her I looked at her dubiously. "You, missy, have set some really high standards."

She laughed, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. You are going to rock this."

"How's Nathaniel? I feel bad I ran out before seeing him again. I am sucking at this mom thing already," I said.

"Eleanor, don't," Christopher said, squeezing my shoulders.

"Ellie, he's fine. He was asleep the whole time you were gone anyway," Bella said.

"How would you know? I know you followed us too," I said, raising my eyebrow at her.

She raised her hands, smiling with a slightly guilty expression in her eyes. "Guilty, but Esme told me. Sorry about that. I only went to keep the boys from interfering too much. I don't think we should have gone at all." She looked pointedly at Edward.

"Yeah, I think Bella is probably right about that," Edward said. "Sorry, Ellie."

"You're just sorry because we didn't care you were there," I said, grinning now.

"Well, yeah. That too," he said, shaking his head. He reached out to me to hug me, pulling me to him and placing a hand on the back of my head, like Carlisle had done with Christopher earlier. He kissed the top of my head. "How are you doing, kiddo?"

"Fantastic," I said glumly. He chuckled softly. "How's Dad? I feel like an ass running out like that," I said, still holding on to my brother.

"He's really angry with himself. He feels guilty. He couldn't stop this from happening, so he's beating himself up pretty badly. He's also upset that he can't just be happy that you're okay, and that he let you see all of that in there."

"Ugh. What a mess," I said.

"Ellie, Christopher is right. You need to worry about getting used to all of this yourself – don't worry so much about the rest of us." Edward said this with his arms still around me. I started to pull back but he wasn't letting go.

"Edward, what-" I stopped short. A group of drunk college students was about to walk past us on the sidewalk. I'd been so distracted I hadn't noticed them, but the combined scents of their blood hit me like a truck. I whipped my head toward them, and I could feel my instincts raging inside me to break from my brother's hold.

Christopher came up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. It looked like a casual gesture, but I knew he was applying every ounce of strength he had to hold me in place. My muscles acted of their own accord, struggling against the combined strength of my husband and brother to break free. I growled softly as the venom started to pool in my mouth, my throat burning. Bella was standing close to us, I could feel the fabric of her clothes brushing my arm as she braced to grab hold if I started to break loose.

"Ellie," Edward said quietly but firmly. He spoke in a tone that I wasn't directly familiar with, but I had heard it in his memories of helping to handle Esme, Rose and Emmett in their newborn struggles. "Stop it. Stop it _now_." _You can do this Ellie. Stay calm. You don't want to hurt anyone, I know you. You don't. You can do this._ He chanted this in his mind over and over.

I hissed at him and a hand clapped over my mouth. It was Christopher's. I breathed in through my nose, and I could see myself in Edward's mind fighting their hold, and I saw my expression change as this registered in my own mind, my eyes raging with anger and bloodlust and then suddenly wider, full of fear. I froze, squeezing my eyes shut and stopping my struggle, warring with every instinct in my body, still screaming at me to attack the oncoming co-eds.

"Oh god," I gasped. "Oh god, what is wrong with me?" I cried.

Christopher turned me around to face him and crushed me against him. I felt Edward put his hands on my shoulders now, not ready to trust that it was safe to release me. "Shh, baby," Christopher, whispered, rocking me gently. "Shh, it's okay. You're okay. You're not going to do anything, we won't let you."

"Ellie," Edward spoke again, softer now; he sounded like my big brother again. "It's okay, we've all been there. It will get easier, I promise. But for now we need to get you out of here, okay?"

I nodded against Christopher's chest; feeling exhausted even though I knew it was in my head. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a black sedan pull up next to us. It was my father's car. My breath caught in my throat, I was not ready to face him. Christopher pulled away and led me with his hands firmly on my arms to the car, opening the door and standing between the car and me while I climbed in the back. Jasper was on the other side of the backseat to make sure I didn't slip out the other side. His expression was sympathetic, and he pulled me into his lap while Christopher climbed in, passing me back to him once he was seated. I sat in Christopher's lap as we drove home, Edward beside us and Bella up front.

I wrapped my arms around Christopher's neck and rested my head under his chin. He kept a hand on my leg and rubbed my back with the other. His thoughts were worried, and relieved that we were headed back to the house. He planned to take me hunting again in a few hours.

"Again?" I asked.

He nodded. "I think you need it." He moved my hair aside and kissed the back of my neck. I leaned back into the sensation of his lips on my skin, and noticed the feeling of his bare calves against me.

"Oh shit Chris. I didn't mean to drag you out like that. People must have thought you were crazy," I said, sitting forward to turn and look at him.

He laughed at my random realization. "I doubt anyone noticed. We didn't even pass anyone, except for-"

I cringed at the mention of the humans I had wanted to attack, and Christopher regretted his words at once. He placed his lips back to my neck to soothe me. _Sorry, sweetheart,_ he thought. I sighed at the renewed contact, and thought back to our earlier encounter in the woods. My mind was so easily scattered right now I could hardly keep up. The sudden desire for my husband was hard to control. I swallowed as I concentrated on his kiss on my neck, his hands on my legs and my back. I was momentarily all but oblivious to our close proximity to our family members.

Jasper cleared his throat and threw us a pained look. "Guys, can you tone it down some?"

Christopher chuckled. I felt his breath on my neck. "Sorry, Jazz," Chris said. I was still too absorbed in his touch to speak.

"Ellie," my father spoke for the first time, drawing my attention. I looked up and met his eyes in the mirror. He looked concerned and contrite. "Ellie, I'm so sorry. I never should have let you see all of that. I love you, and my heart breaks that you suffered like that, but I am beyond overjoyed that you are still here. That you survived. You are alive, sweetheart." His gaze held mine for several seconds.

"I'm sorry Daddy, I'm sorry for bolting like that," I whispered.

"It's okay, Eleanor. I understand. But I think we need to be a little more careful about your outings, okay? If you need space, that's fine, but please at least make sure Christopher, or someone is with you. I don't want you to do anything that you will regret, later."

"Yeah I'm off to a fabulous start there," I said grimly, sighing and flopping back against Christopher. My back hit his chest harder than I intended, and I felt the air squeeze from his lungs. He coughed in surprise, but wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly to let me know he was okay. "Sorry," I whispered to him. He kissed my head.

"What happened, Ellie?" my father asked, concerned.

"It's okay, nothing happened really," Edward spoke up. "There was a group of college kids that walked by, she struggled at first, but she got it together."

I sat up straighter and looked at my brother, incredulous. "Edward, I nearly took a snap at you."

He chuckled. "Actually, I'm amazed that you didn't. I'm really amazed that you didn't bite Christopher's hand off when he covered your mouth. You did much better than you're giving yourself credit for."

I winced at the thought of hurting Christopher I looked up at him apologetically but before I could say anything he kissed me softly.

"You really did, love," Christopher said soothingly, his forehead against mine. "Really. You could have easily broken our hold but you didn't. Yeah you fought a little but you got it together really quickly. I'm proud of you, baby."

I sighed and stared straight ahead as we got closer to the house. Carlisle was able to park just across the street from the house and Christopher clasped my hand tightly as we crossed the road. It was still dark, but I could see in the distance that dawn was drawing nearer. When we walked in the front door, my mother and Alice were both waiting for me, each hugging me in turn. Alice kissed my cheek and looked at me seriously.

_You're going to be fine, Ellie._

"Did you have a vision?" I winked so that she knew I was kidding.

She rolled her eyes. "No. I just know."

I walked past them into the living room where the rest were gathered. I paused in the doorway, watching Renesmee with Nathaniel. She was sitting with her knees bent slightly, feet propped on the coffee table, Nathaniel lying on her thighs and her hands cradling him gently. She was singing softly to him, swaying her legs ever so slightly, rocking him. Jacob sat with his arm around her shoulders, looking adoringly at his wife. As I watched them, I felt the angst and frustration from earlier fading. I looked back at Jasper.

"Thats all you, Ellie," he whispered.

"Come here Ellie," Nessie said gently. "I don't mean to hog him." She smiled warmly.

I walked over hesitantly, Christopher offering silent encouragement in his thoughts. Nessie patted the spot next to her, I saw in her mind she wanted to hand me the baby. I mimicked her position and she carefully transferred the baby to my lap. He opened his eyes and held my gaze for what could easily have been hours, but I knew was probably only a few minutes.

"He ate just before you came back, I expect he will sleep soon," my mother said in a quiet voice. I could almost hear her smile, her thoughts were glowing with happiness watching me with my son.

Christopher came to sit on my other side, positioning himself in much the same way as Jacob sat beside Nessie. He kissed my neck, brushing his lips over my scar. It didn't hurt this time, and I sighed quietly, adjusting my position slightly so that I was leaning against his body, careful not to disturb Nathaniel. His eyes had grown heavy, and as he drifted to sleep, his lips pursed into a tiny O. We sat like that for several hours, not speaking just looking back and forth from our son to each other. I was only vaguely aware of my family members slowly slipping out of the room, spreading out through the house, giving us time alone as a family of three.

At some point when the sun was now visible in the sky, Christopher held his hands out, silently asking to hold his baby. I smiled and carefully lifted the sleeping child and passed him to my husband's waiting hands. He cradled the bundle against his chest with one hand, and held his other arm out for me to curl up under. I lay my head on his chest and reached my left hand across his body and placed it over the hand holding Nathaniel. With my right hand I traced patterns on the arm he had wrapped around me.

Rosalie peeked into the room after a while, knocking on the doorframe quietly.

"Would you like me to take him?" She asked quietly. "I thought you might like a little time alone before he wakes up."

Christopher looked at me to answer, willing to do whatever I preferred. I nodded, knowing that I would probably have to hand him off when he awoke and needed to be fed anyway. Chris immediately moved to hand off the baby. He turned to me, grinning, his hand outstretched. I laughed at his eagerness and took his hand, following him upstairs.

When we got to our room, he shut the door and leaned against it, crossing his arms and pretending to look serious.

"Were you laughing at me down there, Mrs. Dawling?"

I stifled another laugh, walking back toward him and grabbing his hands, tugging on them to uncross his arms. I pressed myself against him, still holding his hands at his side. I kissed his neck, drawing my tongue up toward his ear, my lips lingering there.

"My apologies, Professor," I whispered.

"You had to say that when your family is all over this house?" he growled softly, nipping at my earlobe.

I giggled and he picked me up and crossed the room to our bed in a flash. I pulled him down on top of me, relishing the feel of his body fully covering mine in a way he hadn't been able to do for a while. I slipped my hands under the hem of his shirt, dragging my fingers over his skin along his back, holding him against me. He groaned quietly at the feeling of my hands on his skin.

He kissed me, open mouthed, urgent. He propped himself up just enough to hastily rip off my clothing, and I tore his off him in turn. I moved my legs apart to pull him closer, locking them around his waist. He entered me roughly, both us moaning as he pressed in deeper. He stilled inside me for a moment and put one hand on the side of my face, holding it up to face him. I could hear in his thoughts that he didn't want me to look away. He was burning my face into his brain for the millionth time, still not quite believing I was real, alive, still trying to banish the memory of my limp, lifeless form.

"Oh Chris," I gasped, my hands on his face now. "I'm here, baby. I'm here."

"Oh God, Ellie," he cried, dropping his head against the space on my neck forever marked by the scar from his venom. "I need you, so much." He pulled out of me and drove back in, moving like that at a slow pace, pushing in deeper with every thrust. "I need you," he moaned again. I watched him as he started to fall apart over me, and I flipped us so that I was sitting over him.

I pulled him up toward me, holding him tightly as I moved over him. I moved slowly like he had been. I wanted to do this for him, to give him the release from everything I had unintentionally put him through.

I held him with one hand pressed against his back, the other combing through his hair, rubbing my fingers against the back of his head. I kissed his jaw and pressed my cheek against his, my lips near his ear.

"I love you, Christopher. Thank you for loving me." I bit my lip to stifle a moan as I said this, the feeling of our bodies together starting to overwhelm me. "I love you. I am here with you. Forever."

He pulled his face back to look at me; his eyes black with lust and need. He covered my mouth with his, and I groaned into the kiss at the force of his lips over mine. He started to move underneath me, thrusting faster. He grabbed my hips with his hands and began driving into me forcefully, and my climax crashed over me, my muscles tensing around his cock inside me. He exploded with another powerful thrust, grunting wildly against my lips. Our movements slowed as we came down together, holding each other tightly and breathing hard. When he finally stilled beneath me, I ran my hands through his hair and leaned my forehead against his.

"Christopher?" I said after several minutes of nothing but the sounds of our breathing together.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

I could feel his body shaking, and I looked down, thinking he was crying. He was shaking instead with silent laughter. I let out the breath I'd been holding.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"I'm sorry," he said, laughing out loud now, trying to compose himself. "I'm sorry. I don't know why that was so funny to me." He looked at me seriously. "I am okay. I'm most definitely okay," he answered, smiling.

I pulled his face to mine, kissing him. "I love you."

"I love you too," he replied. He lifted me off of his lap, earning a pout from me. He chuckled at my expression, and tugged on my hands as he scooted back toward the pillows, urging me to lie down with him. I smiled when I realized what he wanted and crawled up next to him, tucking us under the covers and curling up to him like I would have to go to sleep.

"Mmm," he murmured. "This feels familiar."

"It does. I keep waiting to feel tired," I said. Despite my perceived mental exhaustion earlier, I'd never felt stronger.

"I know," he said sadly. "You were so cute when you slept."

"Cute?" I asked, amused by this.

He nodded. "Very."

I breathed a soft laugh, kissing his chest. My hand moved from his abdomen to his chest and shoulders and back again.

"I know I keep saying this, but this feels so different to me," I said. "Your skin feels amazing, I mean it did before too, but now..."

He rolled to face me and pulled me against him. "I know exactly what you mean," he purred. He kissed my mouth, opening to mine and allowing my tongue to enter his. He moved one hand between us to palm my breast gently, before take my nipple between his thumb and forefinger, rolling it and pulling it taut. I moaned into his mouth, holding the back of his head to keep his face pressed to mine. I wrapped my fingers around his cock, dragging my thumb across his head, causing his hips to buck hard against my hand.

Chris flipped me onto my back and settled between my legs again. He held his cock against my wet skin, teasing my entrance and dragging the tip up to my clit. I writhed beneath him, grabbing his ass to urge him to push in. He teased me for several minutes, while my head thrashed wildly on the pillows. He pushed in with a powerful thrust suddenly, and when I cried out, he covered my mouth with his hand.

"Don't bite me," he said, grinning wickedly; I could see in his mind the hungry expression in my eyes. He kept his hand there while he moved in and out, and I slammed my hips into his, groaning against him. He grabbed my ass with his other hand, guiding my movements and holding me so that he could drag his pubic bone against my clit. I growled against his hand, and he moved harder against me in response. His body started to tremble and I knew he was close.

"Ohh fuck, Ellie," he groaned, moving his hand from my mouth to hold himself up. "Fuck. I can't...oh god."

His delirious babbling drove me crazy and I hooked one of my legs over his shoulder so he could get deeper. He leaned against me, driving in further and faster, and I whimpered at the feeling of his cock starting to throb inside of me. My orgasm built quickly and I fell over the edge and lost my rhythm, writhing against him sloppily, sliding easily against him. He pounded into me for a few more deliciously hard thrusts before he came with a howl. I scrambled to silence him with a kiss. He collapsed against me, kissing me feverishly, sucking my lip through his teeth. As our bodies calmed his kisses grew gentler, sweet. He buried his head in the space between my neck and shoulder, his arms wrapped around me.

"Nathaniel will be awake soon," he whispered. "He will have to eat though. We should wait up here until he's done, okay?"

I nodded. "Okay." I twisted his hair around my fingers, scratching his scalp as I did so.

"Mmm. That feels amazing," he whispered.

"_That_ feels amazing?" I asked, jokingly.

He chuckled softly. "Touché. It's a different kind of amazing, most definitely." He kissed my neck, holding his lips there for a few seconds before resting his head against my chest. I felt his arms tighten around me as his thoughts started to wander. He had apologized earlier for his scattered memories surrounding the previous couple of days, and he was replaying them again in his mind. I felt like I was watching my own death in slow motion and my body reacted with an involuntary shudder.

"Christopher," I breathed, my heart breaking for him, as my mind was flooded with the recollection of his fear and despair in those moments.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I don't mean to keep thinking about that."

"No, honey. Don't apologize. Do you need to talk about it?" I asked gently.

He let out one hard laugh. "Eleanor, I should be helping you right now. You're the one who's been through hell."

I sat up then, pulling him up to sit up and face me. I put my hands on his face. "Don't do that, Christopher. We can help each other. Talk to me, baby." I kissed him gently. "Please." I heard Nathaniel stirring downstairs, and squeezed my eyes shut for a moment as the smell of the donated blood registered at the back of my mind. Even at the slightest hint of the scent the venom in my throat roared in fury. I gasped, clamping my hand over my mouth and cursing in frustration that I lost focus at this moment. I took a deep breath and looked back at Christopher. I registered his hands on my arms, and his expression concerned.

"Like I said," he said, "I need to be helping you. Is it better now?"

I realized that his hands on me were meant to be supportive, not restraining. I looked down at my knee, evaluating my body. I took another deep breath and nodded. His grip loosened and he pressed his fingers under my chin, bringing my face up to look at him again.

"That was good, Ellie. You recognized it and got it under control. You are amazing," he said, smiling.

I made a face. "That shit hurts," I said.

He chuckled darkly. "Yeah, it does. But you get used to it, it won't be that bad forever, I promise." He leaned toward me and kissed me tenderly, pulling my lip between his and grazing it lightly with his teeth. I moaned as he pulled away.

"Tease," I whispered as he straightened himself up. He grinned.

"I think it is all clear down there, if you're ready," he said. He wasn't pressuring me, just making sure I knew it was okay. I looked at him skeptically.

"You know we're not done with this conversation, right?" I asked him with my eyebrow raised. "It's fine if you don't want to talk about it now, but at some point…"

He swallowed and brought his hand to my face. "I know."

* * *

We spent the next several hours downstairs with the family, and most importantly with our son. His expressions were already appearing more mature, his face lit up when Christopher and I walked into the room. Rosalie handed him to me without hesitation, and I nuzzled his neck, inhaling his scent and permanently etching it in my memory. My father measured and weighed him and made note of his more advanced expressions and apparent increased understanding of the world around him, much like he had done with Renesmee and me. Christopher peered over Carlisle's shoulder as he made his notes, comparing the results in his head with the first few measurements and from his recollections of Renesmee as a baby. Carlisle grinned to himself slightly, feeling Christopher's gaze over his work.

"Something on your mind, Chris?" he asked. Chris shook his head.

"Just curious. He's pretty similar to them so far?" He knew the answer, but still posed it as a question.

Carlisle nodded, still smiling. "Yes. Almost exactly."

Christopher sighed with relief. I would have too, but I was still too mesmerized watching the tiny boy who'd just been handed back to me, check-up complete, to fully register the conversation. Shortly after this, Nathaniel fell asleep against my chest, and I kissed his hair and listened to his breathing as he snuggled against me. I looked around at the rest of my family; almost everyone appeared to be relaxed. I was aware however of Jasper occasionally glancing at me warily, surveying my mood, waiting for a burst of newborn craziness.

"Problem, Jazz?" I asked him, trying to keep an amused expression on my face.

"No. Just...checking," he said.

I shook my head at my over-paranoid brother, but couldn't find my earlier irritation with him. As I looked back and forth between my husband and my son, I knew that all of the worry and pain was past us, and that it had all been necessary to get to this moment. I knew that I was whole.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks again for reading! This is the last Chapter, to be followed by an Epilogue and then a preview of the sequel, tentatively titled _Stages of Growth. _**


	47. Epilogue

Epilogue

"Nathaniel Masen Dawling!" I shouted as we ran. "Slow down!" He turned to face me for a split second, an impish smile on his lips as he tried to out run me. I was faster than he would likely ever be, but it still made me nervous when he got out too far ahead. I heard my father approaching from the opposite direction, directly in Nathaniel's path. I laughed as Nathaniel squealed when Carlisle snatched him up, coming to a stop beside where I now stood.

"Where did you go Grandpa?" Nathaniel asked. "Did you catch anything good?"

Carlisle smiled. "I did. I found something for you too, just over that hill."

Christopher and I decided several weeks ago that it was time to let Nathaniel hunt. I was relieved when he stopped drinking the human blood; I had continued to have trouble being around for his feedings. It was, however, bizarre to watch my six-month-old son hunt. Carlisle set him down and took his hand, leading him quietly toward a pack of deer. We didn't let Nathaniel chase large game or predators; my nerves could not withstand it even though he would easily be strong enough to handle it.

His growth astonished me, even though it paralleled my own as a child. I told my parents recently that I had a whole new respect for what they must have gone through, especially not knowing at that time exactly what to expect with my development. He would clearly be tall like his father. He already looked like an older preschooler, his slender arms and legs and slim face giving him the appearance of a boy that might soon be entering kindergarten.

I sat down at the top of the hill to watch them. Carlisle enjoyed teaching Nathaniel; I smiled to myself as I remembered him doing the same for me as a small child. On my father's command Nathaniel leapt after one of the deer, tackling it and draining it surprisingly swiftly. It still took all of my self control not to cover my eyes while he attacked though, I needlessly worried that he would somehow miss his target and get hurt. When he finished he came running up to me, jumping into my arms.

"Did you see me, Mama?" he asked, his eyes shining. I kissed his cheek.

"I did! You are so fast!" I exclaimed. His enthusiastic thoughts raced through my mind, he showed me everything he remembered from his attack. Carlisle caught me eye, asking me silently if I needed to hunt as well.

I shook my head. "I'm good Dad. Chris and I went out earlier while you were at work."

He nodded and we started to walk toward the house, Nathaniel yawning, nestled in my arms. I kissed his thick, dark curls as he settled his head down on my shoulder. His warm hand rested on my neck and I felt his body relaxing as he started to drift off to sleep, lulled by my slow pace.

"Wore him out, huh?" Carlisle said softly, chuckling. "You used to pass out like that after hunting too."

I laughed quietly. "I remember."

Carlisle was quiet for a while as we walked. He was thinking about my transition; we hadn't talked much lately about how I was feeling. He was lost in his contemplation for a few minutes until he realized I was watching him, waiting for him to speak. He smiled.

"I forget sometimes that you prefer to wait like that," he said. "I'm so used to Edward just jumping in and answering."

I shrugged. "I'm not always sure what your actual question is," I answered truthfully. "You tend to deliberate more with me. Especially when I was little, understandably of course. Everyone else just thinks about other stuff around me if they are trying to be careful."

He raised his eyebrows slightly as he thought about that. "You're right I guess. I hadn't really thought about it that way before."

"I know," I said, grinning. He rolled his eyes.

"Anyway," he said, his thoughts refocusing. "How are you doing with all of this? I was thinking that we haven't talked about things in a while."

I sighed, absently stroking Nathaniel's hair as I thought. "Okay I guess. I was thinking earlier about how glad I am that Nathaniel is hunting now. It was so frustrating when he fed before." I shook my head. "Especially when I used to be able to transition off of human blood so easily."

He smiled sadly. "This is uniquely challenging for you, Ellie. You've done very well under the circumstances."

"I keep thinking that it shouldn't be so hard. I know that's ridiculous but come on. I practically had to leave the house every time my own son was hungry." I cringed as the venom roared at the mere thought of Nathaniel feeding.

"Christopher said the two of you went to a movie the other night. How was that?" my father asked, drawing me back out of my thoughts. We had been taking the outside world slowly. Christopher didn't want me to be overwhelmed like he had nearly been at the club in Seattle so long ago, and he was very careful when we ventured out.

"The movie was crap," I said laughing. "But the experience itself was okay. Easier even. The theater was crowded too. I actually was able to focus on something other than...you know."

"That's excellent, Ellie. Really. I'm not surprised that this is difficult for you," he said. He shook his head at my expression. "No, I mean it was always so easy for you. You never had the complication of the venom. You were raised nearly from birth this way and your instincts developed in tandem with that. Now, your instincts are much more powerful and resistant to the way we live. It takes time to learn how to manage that, sweetheart."

"I know that, I do. It's just frustrating. Chris took to this so easily, and he hunted humans for two centuries. And then some. And then Bella...It's just frustrating," I confessed.

Carlisle wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "I know. But you have come so far, so quickly Ellie. Please remember that." He hesitated for a moment. "We all struggled Ellie," he said slowly. "Some are better at hiding that, and yes some are better at handling it overall. I think perhaps it was hard for you to see that in some of us, but we've all been through it in our own ways."

We continued on in silence toward my parent's house. Chris and I were alternating more frequently between Boston and New Hampshire, but when we were here we almost always stayed with the family. Even when we went back to Boston, we frequently had visitors. Everyone clamored for time with Nathaniel, and they not so secretly worried about me. I thought about what Carlisle said to me. He pictured Christopher, inadvertently I thought at first, but as I parsed his words I realized that may have been intentional.

I had always marveled at the ease with which he transitioned to our vegetarian lifestyle, though I never would have required that of him. Had I really underestimated his struggle before? I shook my head to clear away those thoughts for now, instead focusing on Nathaniel's dreams. I could see flashes in his mind, he looked like he was soaring through the air, and then I saw Emmett. The two of them had been playing together earlier and Nathaniel laughed loudly as Emmett threw him up and caught him. I chuckled to myself as we neared the house at last.

Carlisle held the door open for me as I carried the sleeping child inside. Christopher and Jasper were still ensconced in a video game tournament that my brothers, Jacob and Christopher had been planning for days. I'm not sure what spoils awaited the winner, but I'm sure the stakes were high. They started around six this morning and had been playing nonstop ever since. Apparently Emmett and Jacob had been eliminated already, Edward was waiting for his crack at the winner of the current game.

"Hey baby," Chris said to me, not looking up. "Is he asleep?"

I walked over to place a kiss on Christopher's head. Jasper was closing in, trying to muddy the waters with his emotional manipulation. "Keep it together Chris, Jazz is screwing with you," I said with a laugh. "I'm taking him up to bed."

Chris nodded, his fingers flying furiously over the controls. I climbed the stairs to the room that Esme had designated for her grandson, tucking him into the bed, taking care not to disturb him. I sat and watched him sleep, a small smile on his lips. I wished for a moment that I too could be able to sleep if I curled up beside him.

As I watched him I thought of my talk with Carlisle earlier, which reminded of one of my greatest fears for Nathaniel as he grew older. Since male hybrids were venomous, I was worried that he would suffer as a child from the burning thirst. Carlisle had put me at ease somewhat, explaining how he had learned from his conversations with Nahuel when _I_ was a child that the thirst grew in proportion with his development. It was not until his adulthood that he experienced a heightened level of discomfort. As a child, it was merely like hunger.

I was slightly ashamed to admit that this fear didn't occur to me until after Nathaniel was born, after I experienced the burning myself. I had heard others' discomfort in their thoughts of course, but that was not even close to feeling it burn under my own skin. Carlisle didn't want to say it quite so bluntly, but I knew what he was telling me earlier. I didn't understand it before. Not remotely.

As I pondered this realization, I heard Christopher stand and pass his controller to Edward, signaling his elimination from the tournament. I turned my head toward the sound of his approaching footsteps. He smiled at me as he walked in, stopping beside the bed to kiss his son's head. He smoothed his hair and watched him for a moment before turning to me, holding out his hand. I stood and he led me to the room that we now claimed during our visits, across the hall from Nathaniel.

I closed the door behind me and Christopher drew me into a hug, holding me tightly against him. "Hi," he whispered, his lips brushing my forehead. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," I said quietly. He looked down and studied my eyes carefully. I could see their amber color through his mind, the newborn red finally fading away, only evident now as a minuscule ring around the outer edge of my irises. I tried not to betray the seriousness of my earlier introspection but I could tell he saw something as he held my gaze. He smiled slightly and kissed me before walking over to the stereo and turning it on.

He wordlessly held his hand back out to me as music filled the room. I smiled as he pulled me back to him, moving us in sync with the song. He didn't speak as we danced together, though he knew something was on my mind. The air in the room was heavy but not tense, I felt myself relaxing as we held each other, enveloped by the comfortable silence between us. There were many more quiet moments like this since I'd changed. Now that I didn't sleep there was so much more time in each day, something that still baffled me. I knew that calm moments like this one were Christopher's way of trying to ease that part of this transition for me, and for him as well. He had always enjoyed the quiet intimacy of lying with me as I slept beside him. Of course, with our infinite waking hours there was no shortage of time spent lying together. I chuckled softly to myself at this thought, the sound barely audible over the music.

"What?" he asked. I could feel his lips against my ears.

I kissed his cheek. "Nothing really. Just thinking."

"Mm," he murmured thoughtfully. "You've been doing a lot of that tonight."

"Yes," I said simply.

He pulled his face back to look at mine then. "Would you like to tell me about it?" His eyes probed mine, curiosity burning through his stare now.

"I would. I'm not sure where to start though," I said.

"Start wherever you like," he said gently, still slowly spinning us around the room. I didn't say anything for a few minutes, replaying my conversation with Carlisle in my head. I was so lost in my memories that I didn't realize at first that I was projecting them directly into Christopher's mind.

He smiled at me when he realized that I did this unintentionally. "I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to do that."

"Don't apologize," he said, chuckling. "I'm still not completely sure what's bothering you, though," he admitted.

"I didn't know Chris," I said. "Not really. I had no idea." Even though he had seen my recollection of the earlier conversation, he looked genuinely confused.

"Didn't know what, Ellie?"

"I didn't know how hard it really was Chris. What you did, joining us like you did. You never thought twice about it, you never let me see you struggle." I looked away and swallowed. "I mean, I knew it was an adjustment, but until now I had _no idea_. I'm sorry about that."

"Ellie, Ellie, relax," he said quickly, his hands on my arms. "Yes, it was hard. But I never thought twice about it because I wanted to be with you forever, and I wanted to do it your way." He smiled. "And the adjustment, for me, wasn't that awful. Especially since I had you there with me."

I sighed. "I just want you to know that I appreciate it that much more now."

He kissed me before I could say anything else, his lips moving softly against mine at first before forcing my mouth open. I trembled against him as his tongue probed my own, nearly forgetting my earlier anxiety. He slowly withdrew his tongue from my mouth, holding his lips to mine for a second more.

"Ellie," he said, his voice a rough whisper. "You have nothing to apologize for. I promise you, even if I suffered - and I didn't - I would do it again 100 times over to have you."

"Thank you," I said breathlessly.

"Come here you silly little thing," he growled, a playful smile on his face. His arms were tight around my waist, picking me up so he didn't have to bend to kiss me again. I locked my arms around his neck, returning his kiss enthusiastically. His lips moved across my jaw to just below my ear. "You know I'm not trying to belittle your anxiety, right?" he whispered.

"I do, Chris. I didn't think that," I answered him.

His face was in front of mine again and he flashed a brilliant smile. "Good." He set me down on the floor, his hands on my hips, leading me again in a dance to the song that had just started. "I want to know these things, you don't have wear the brave face with me."

"I know," I whispered, resting my head against his chest and my arms wrapped around him. "I love you."

"I love you too," he answered fervently. I leaned up to kiss him again, my hands tangling in his hair and holding his face to mine. His breath filled my mouth as he forced my lips apart again and he groaned as I sucked his lip between my teeth. He walked us backward toward the bed, turning the stereo up before lying down on his back, pulling me down over him. We kissed for a long time like that, our hips moving slowly together, our hands in each other's hair.

I giggled when he rolled so that he was on top of me. "Impatient are we?" I whispered, biting his lower lip.

"Always," he growled in my ear. He dragged his tongue down my neck to my shoulder before stopping to yank my shirt up over my head. I reached behind me to unhook my bra, discarding it for him, watching his eyes take in my body as I lay back on the bed. He put his hands on both of my breasts and covered my mouth again with his. I raised my knees, opening my legs further so he could get closer to where I was already desperate for his touch under my clothes. I ran my hands up his back and over his shoulders before bringing them to his chest to undo the buttons of his shirt. I flew through them quickly and he sighed against my lips as l moved my hands over his skin before pulling his shirt off entirely.

His mouth moved from mine abruptly as he left wet kisses down my chest and stomach. He took off my shorts and panties with a quick movement and I gasped as he dragged his fingers over my wet skin before pushing into me. His fingers worked slowly inside me as he reached back up to kiss me. I fumbled with his belt, growling when I couldn't get it undone right away. He laughed against my lips and reached down with his other hand to help me. His pants were off before I could blink and his cock quickly replaced his fingers. I groaned as he pushed into me.

He held himself up over me, and I could see in his mind how he watched me move beneath him, grinding myself against his body as he moved in and out of me.

"Oh god, Chris," I gasped. He moved so slowly, resisting as I tried to pull him closer, move him faster. "Please," I begged him, my voice barely a whisper.

"Please what?" he grunted in response.

"Faster. Please."

He shook his head, and evil grin on his lips. "This is too good. I want to watch you." He slammed into me harder then, hitting a spot that made me whimper and arch my back, my whole body trembling. "That's it. Just like that," he whispered. I could hear the strain in his voice now though. He wouldn't be able to keep this up much longer.

He plunged into me again and when he pulled back, I ran my hands up along my stomach, taking my breasts in my hands and playing with my nipples. I forced my eyes open to watch his face. His mouth dropped open as he watched and I knew he would lose his focus soon.

"Fuck," he grunted, slamming into me again.

"Mm," I moaned. "Fuck _me_, Professor."

All of a sudden I was up on my knees, Christopher plowing into me from behind. "Damn it woman," he groaned in my ear as his body started to shudder. I cried out as he rubbed my clit roughly, coming almost immediately and holding myself up with my hands on the bed. He exploded as I clamped down around him. I grunted as I felt him leaving my body and he flopped down on his side next to me. I curled up beside him, grinning.

"You wicked thing," he said, his eyes still only half open. I giggled and kissed his chest.

"Should I apologize?" I asked with a cheeky smile. "Oh wait, I'm not sorry. Never mind."

He tried to put on an exasperated expression. "You're impossible."

"It's true," I agreed, before his lips returned feverishly to mine.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you for reading! Please review! I will be adding a preview of the sequel _Stages of Growth_ soon! **


	48. Prologue - Stages of Growth

**A/N: Here's the Prologue for Stages of Growth, which is from Christopher's POV from before the baby is born and beyond.**

**This and Chapter 1 are already up! Let me know what you think!**

* * *

Prologue. Christopher's Version.

I was losing it. It was taking every ounce of strength I had not to break down. _Get it together, Christopher, god damn it_, I thought to myself as I leaned my head on her shoulder. I knew something was wrong earlier, but Edward wouldn't discuss it without Alice and Carlisle. I knew it was bad then.

I knew I would lose her.

I saw the grim expression on Edward's face as we ran into the forest to meet them. I was shaking as I slowed to a stop in front of my father-in-law.

"Tell me," I gasped. I could see that he was struggling to control his expression – that alone terrified me. Carlisle was never shaken, he could project calm and confidence like no one I'd ever known before, but even he looked like he might break down at this moment. The fraction of a second that passed before he spoke was hell as I gave in to morbid speculation over what he would say.

"_Christopher, she's going to die,"_ I imagined he would tell me. _"I'm sorry son. There's nothing I can do, you will lose them both." _ I swallowed. I couldn't take the silence anymore.

"Carlisle, Alice, please. What is going on?" I implored them, my voice breaking.

Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder. "Chris, she's going to be okay. But Alice sees it a little differently now. There's some unknown complication that's going to change the outcome."

I didn't understand. "Change it how? The baby?"

"He will be fine, Chris."

"What happens to her, Carlisle?" I ran both of my hands through my hair, my eyes darting frantically back and forth, resting briefly on each of their faces before I squeezed them shut. I played back his words in my head, change the outcome. Change. I swallowed, as I understood the significance of the word.

"Oh god," I gasped. "You're going to have to change _her_." I didn't have to open my eyes to know that I was right, but I needed to hear it from him anyway. "NO," I roared, pushing off Carlisle's hand. "WHY? Will that even work? What if your theory about the venom doesn't work to that extent for her? Is there no other way?" I fired my questions angrily, my brain refusing to believe that this was happening.

Alice stepped forward and put her hands on my shoulders now. She had to stand on the tips of her toes to reach. I opened my eyes and looked down at her. "Chris," she breathed. "I've looked at every possibility we can think of. Even delivering the baby today seems like it ends the same way, but it's hard to see that clearly without Ellie's input. At least, I think so."

"You THINK?" I roared. "Don't you think we should be a little more SURE than that Alice?!"

I yelled at her, at all of them. I was furious now – at Alice and Carlisle, for letting us think that she could handle a pregnancy, and of course at myself for putting her in that state in the first place. "You SAID she would be okay Alice." I raged at them for several minutes, pacing and trembling with terror. For every curse I spat at my family in that moment, I reserved that much and more for myself. I wanted to go back to her. I needed her. I felt like I couldn't breathe without her now, but when I tried to slip past them to run back to her, Carlisle or Edward stopped me. They wouldn't let me see her in this state, I realized.

Somewhere in the depths of my mind, where rational thought still struggled to prevail, it occurred to me that they knew I would lose it and they wanted me to do that away from her. I was on my knees then, Carlisle beside me with his hand again on my shoulder. I was vaguely aware of Alice as she crouched down to face me, placing her tiny hand in mine.

"Chris," she said. "We need to get back. You need to hold it together now." I nodded numbly and stood, steeling myself for the most impossible conversation I've ever faced.


	49. Outtakes

Take Me As I Am Outtakes: Originally I wrote this story in alternating Points of View. Below are a few outtakes from Carlisle's perspective.

Carlisle POV – Nahuel Asks to Stay.

Ellie was about to celebrate her seventh birthday. The arrival of this day brought many mixed emotions. According to our friend from the southern continent, Nahuel, this date marks her adulthood. Her dreams persisted as the date drew nearer, though she insisted that she was okay. She really was like Edward in that way, I mused to myself, insisting that she was fine despite the apparent stress.

Esme had thought that perhaps we could invite Nahuel up for her birthday; that it might do her well to have someone else like her around for a while. Ellie was thrilled to see him, and they spent hours talking every night. About a week after he arrived, and two days before Ellie's birthday, Nahuel knocked on the door of my study.

"Come in," I said quietly, putting my book down on the desk.

"Dr. Cullen," Nahuel said as he entered.

"Please Nahuel, Carlisle is fine." I gestured for him to take a seat.

"Carlisle then. Thank you again for inviting me. I have enjoyed the company of your family, and that of your daughter tremendously. I think that perhaps I would like to spend more time with her, if that would be permissible."

This hadn't occurred to me, though I realize so that was somewhat idiotic in my part. "Oh," I said, stalling. "Well, do you know how Ellie feels about that?"

"We haven't discussed it specifically and I didn't want to overstay my welcome, so I am speaking to you first. I understand, given the difference in our ages, if you are not comfortable with this."

"Nahuel, thank you for your candor. I cannot speak for my daughter, and as much as it pains me to say it she is an adult, or will be one in a matter of days. If she wishes for you to stay, then I will not protest."

"Thank you," he said with a smile, and turned to leave.

"Nahuel," I called after him. He turned back, waiting for me to speak. "Please remember that while she is fully grown, she _is_ young."

He nodded solemnly, seeming to understand my unspoken plea to be careful with my youngest, and most fragile child. As he left, I heard Esme's footsteps.

"Carlisle, was he asking you what I think he was asking?"

I nodded. Esme sighed and down on the sofa. I moved to sit by her, placing my hand on her knee.

"Sweetheart if you disagree we can tell him to give it time. But I suspect Ellie will not object to his continued presence, and may resent our interference. She is a smart young woman."

"I know. I just can't believe it's gone by so quickly."

###

Outtake #2 – Edward talks to Carlisle about Ellie and Nahuel

The house was quiet when I pulled in the drive. I guessed most everyone had gone hunting. The sun was setting and a clear warm night was on the horizon. I went up to my office and dropped off my bag. I was about to turn and head to our bedroom to change out of my scrubs when I heard Edward's footsteps in the house. This was unusual. He typically stayed with Bella until the wee hours of the morning, before she woke.

"Carlisle, do you have a moment?" my eldest son asked softly.

_Of course son, I'm upstairs. _

Edward appeared in the door. "How was the hospital?"

_Fine, thank you. How are you? I'm surprised to see you here so early in the evening._

"Charlie wanted to take Bella to dinner so I decided to come home for a bit."

_I'm glad. What is it you wanted to discuss?_

Edward sighed, and looked like he was struggling to find words. I waited.

"I wanted to talk about Ellie. She's going to kill me for talking to you, but I'm concerned about her and Nahuel. I don't really want to go into specifics; I know it's not my business. But I don't want her to get hurt."

I sighed. I could guess what details he didn't want to disclose and if I were to be honest, I didn't particularly want to know them either. _Edward_, I thought_. She's not child and she can make her own decisions. _

Edward shot me an exasperated look. He had always been unwaveringly protective of his youngest sibling, even before their blood relation was confirmed. That he had witnessed her gruesome birth with me only buoyed his determination to protect her from further harm.

"I just think they are moving too fast," he said. "Bella and I came back here earlier and they were clearly, um, interrupted by our arrival."

_Edward, if I'm not mistaken, you spend most every night in a girl's room, and I know you know Charlie wouldn't approve if he knew. _

He ignored this.

"Where are they now?" he pressed. "They left before we did. It's nearly dark."

_I don't know. I'm sure they are fine, Edward. Listen, Ellie and I are supposed to hunt tomorrow. I will talk to her. But don't expect her not to be angry. I'm sending her to you to yell at, _I thought, only half kidding.

He laughed. "I doubt you will have to send her, she will know I talked to you."

_Edward, I know your situations are different, but keep in mind that she seems to be happy. _

He nodded and made his way downstairs. Esme had returned and he went to say hello to her. I followed him into the kitchen, greeting my wife with a hug and a kiss.

"I didn't realize you would be home so early, Carlisle," she said. "Have you been here long?" she asked, eyeing my scrubs.

"No. I was speaking with Edward for a few minutes, but wanted to say hello to you before I changed."

"Maybe I will come with you then," she murmured, hugging me closer. At that, we disappeared up the stairs.

A few hours later I came back downstairs, expecting to find my youngest daughter returned. It seemed however, that she hadn't yet come home.

"Alice, Rose, have either of you seem Ellie?" Alice and Rose looked up from their nail polish and shook their heads. "She must still be with Nahuel, I can't really see anything."

Alice had gotten used to seeing Eleanor in her visions, but she was unaccustomed to searching for Nahuel, limiting her sight at present.

"What," called Esme. "She hasn't come home?" She turned to me with an anxious expression, "Should we look for her?"

"Why don't we call her," I suggested gently, "before we panic?"

Esme nodded, and I picked up my phone, scrolling to Ellie's number.

###

Outtake #3

Ellie leaned back on the sofa and I put my arm around her, listening to her frustrations with her brother. I sighed, wishing Edward would back off a little. I decided that I would talk to him about that. I thought back to when Ellie was a small child; I would often find her asleep on the couch in my study. She once told me she loved this room because no matter where we lived because it never really changed.

It was true. I hadn't changed it much in almost a century. I remembered coming home after one particularly stressful day at the Hospital. I greeted Esme wearily, and she kissed me and let me pass, knowing I needed an hour or two to decompress.

I came in and found Eleanor, who was about two, and the size of a 7 year old, asleep on my couch. I assumed she snuck up here after Esme put her to bed. She was amazingly good at creeping around undetected in a house full of vampires. I sat down next to her and watched her sleep for a while, moving her long hair away from her face. It was only a few short weeks before that we had learned that Ellie was NOT the only vampire-human child (though we suspected from the beginning that she wasn't) and that their life expectancy was the same as ours. Before that, Esme and I feared that our little girl would be taken from our lives as abruptly as she arrived. I know that the relief from this information was still plain on my face every time I saw her.

Edward had gone down to South America, where there are many legends of our kind and interactions with humans. Upon Alice's advice, he was able to locate a hybrid male, Nahuel, who had been born over a century ago, and reached maturity at seven years old. It was hard to think of my daughter being an adult in only five more years, but I would happily celebrate that adulthood because it meant our fears about losing her were unfounded. When Edward arrived home with Nahuel, (who requested to accompany him back home to meet the only other hybrid that he'd ever known of, other than his own sisters), the entire family celebrated the news and basked in the relief. This tiny girl had brought so much joy and love into our family, and no one could bear the thought of losing her. I watched her for a few minutes more, and then gently picked her up to carry her to her room.

"Daddy?" she mumbled in her sleep.

"Shh baby, go back to sleep," I whispered.

I shook my head slightly, having nearly forgotten that I wasn't alone in my thoughts.

Ellie was looking over at me, smiling. "I remember all of that, you know," she said. She stood, "I'm going to go lie down. I love you, Daddy." She kissed my forehead and turned to leave.

"Love you too, sweetheart. Good night."

###

Outtake #4 Christopher asks for Ellie's hand

Christopher walked into the garage and threw his bag on the back seat. "Thanks again for the ride, Carlisle."

"No problem Christopher. But wouldn't you have rather Ellie take you?" I asked, genuinely curious as to why he has specifically asked me.

He shook his head and nodded back toward the house. Ah, he wanted to get out of range. Clearly he had something important he wanted to discuss. The possibilities tugged at my consciousness but I repressed them, struggling not to presume why Christopher had asked for this time alone.

We drove a few miles, and then when I was sure we were out of my youngest daughter's mental reach, I decided to break the silence. "So, what's on your mind?"

Christopher fidgeted slightly, an odd behavior for our kind, though such habits were necessary for the human facade. He hesitated and then seemed to gather himself to speak.

"Carlisle," he said solemnly. "I want to thank you, and your family, for letting me into your home and your lives. I hope you know that I love your daughter very, very much."

Suddenly, something stirred in the back of my mind as it started to dawn on me just why he wanted to speak tonight. As realization closed in on me, I nodded.

"You are welcome, Christopher. I know it's a lot for you, adjusting to our family, and your efforts to adapt our lifestyle have not gone unnoticed."

He smiled to himself, but did not speak again right away. I waited for him to continue.

"Carlisle," he said. "I'd like to ask Eleanor to marry me. I know there has been a lot of upheaval in your family, and I know that Edward is pursuing a similar request with Bella. I do not intend to cause more drama or interference. We can wait a decade if she wants, I don't care. But I want to ask her now. However, I wanted to ask your permission first."

I drew in a breath as he spoke, slightly startled by the question. It had been less than 8 years since she came into our lives, and the thought of giving her away was difficult to reconcile. But of course I would not deny this request, they were clearly meant for one another. Jasper was all but certain that Christopher had found his mate in our Ellie, and though she protested the possibility, that she found hers in him.

I took another deep breath and answered him. "Of course, son. You have my permission and my blessing." I parked in the drop-off zone at the airport and Christopher turned to me.

"Thank you, so much," he said, beaming.


	50. Chapter 10 Expanded

**A/N: So I've been going through and making some edits (or a lot of edits in some cases) I found myself adding to this chapter, showing a bit more of Chris and Ellie together before they set off for Denali and decided to add it here. :)**

* * *

Chapter 10. Invitation

They led us back into the sitting room and we sat and talked for a while. Christopher, much to my embarrassment, gushed over my musical prowess, and my parents both beamed. I wanted to crawl under a chair.

Carlisle asked about his history, and lit up when Christopher started telling tales of his early vampire days, fighting in the war.

"You know," Carlisle said, "I have an old friend from those days, named Garrett. He and I met during the Siege of Yorktown." I liked Garrett; he was a lot of fun. He fell in love with one of our cousins a few years ago, Kate from Denali, and has been living with them in Denali ever since.

Christopher laughed. "I know Garrett! In fact, I met him shortly after that battle, I remember him telling me about a strange yellow-eyed fellow that he made acquaintance with there."

Carlisle invited Christopher up to his study and called Jasper to come join them. I didn't expect to see them again for many hours; they were having too much fun geeking out on history and American war stories.

My mother looked at me and laughed. "I guess that's it then, huh?"

I smiled. "Apparently!"

The phone rang then. Esme snatched it up impossibly quick. "Hello?"

I listened to the conversation - it was Edward. She flew up to Carlisle's study to give him the phone.

She came down after a few minutes; phone in hand. Just like that he was gone again. "He is heading to South America to continue his pursuit of Victoria. He asked me to send his love," she said, sadly.

I sighed. "It be nice if he just sent his ass back here," I said.

"Ellie," my mother said with a warning tone.

I sat down next to her and started flipping through the channels on the TV. I settled on 'Love Actually,' which she and I both loved. When that ended, Rosalie came down to sit with us as well. I hadn't spent much time with her lately. She sat next to me and draped her arm around my shoulders. She was pricklier than my other sister, but she was fiercely protective of me when she thought she needed to me.

"Esme," said Rosalie after a while, "did you tell Ellie about the Denali trip yet?"

"What Denali trip?" I asked, looking at my mother and sister. I hadn't been there in a couple of years.

"Tanya invited us up to stay in a couple of weeks, your father and I thought that might be a nice change of pace for everyone," Mom explained.

"That sounds lovely. When are we leaving?" I asked.

"Two weeks from tomorrow, I think," she said. "We're going to drive out, which will take a couple of days."

I nodded. "Sounds good."

"She called first thing this morning," she went on with a smile. "Carlisle mentioned to her that you might want to bring Christopher. Tanya said that the invitation is of course extended to him as well."

"That's so nice of them," I said, though I was inwardly nervous about asking Christopher to make such an extensive journey with me. "I will mention it, but I wouldn't expect him to come," I hedged.

She nodded with understanding. "Well, I hope you will join us either way."

I was getting tired, and it was getting late. The boys were still upstairs talking. "I think I'm going to go to bed. If Christopher ever emerges, can you show him where my room is? I won't dare interrupt whatever's going on up there."

"Sure we will," Rosalie said with a wink. "Goodnight, Ellie."

"Goodnight sweetheart," my mother said.

I climbed the stairs slowly and walked down the hall toward my room. I could hear them carrying on loudly in the study, still telling stories. I hadn't had much time to explain our family's individual histories in detail, so I was glad Christopher was getting a chance to hear some of that directly from my father and brothers. When I got to my room I found some pajamas - simple shorts and a tank top - and crawled into bed. I fell asleep quickly and didn't stir until a few hours later when I heard Christopher creep in.

"Ellie?" he whispered.

"Hi," I whispered back, rolling over. I didn't really know why we were whispering, it's not like they couldn't hear us. I laughed slightly at my own thought.

"What's funny?" he said.

"The whispering," I said with a giggle.

"Ah, you're right I guess," he chuckled. He took off his shirt and jeans and got in next to me. "Go back to sleep, I'm sorry I woke you."

I kissed him softly. "I don't mind," I said, placing my hand on his face, and combing my fingers through his hair. "You guys sounded like you were having a good time."

"Were you listening?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

I grinned at him. "Not intentionally. But I couldn't _not_ hear some of it," I replied.

"I suppose not. That reminds me," he said. "I heard Esme tell you about the Denali trip. When are you leaving?"

"Two weeks," I replied shyly, my eyes dropping from his face to his shoulder. I said I would invite him but I wasn't sure how. I felt stupid and awkward suddenly.

I felt his fingers under my chin, urging me to look back at him. When I looked up, he spoke. "Well, Carlisle mentioned it to me as well; he said I was welcome to come along. I thought I might take them up on the invitation," he said softly, smiling. "Only if you want me to, of course. I won't be offended if you want to spend the time alone with your family."

"You'll come?" I asked with surprise. "Really?" He laughed at my reaction.

"Of course I will. I hope it's okay that I brought it up. Jasper mentioned that you may be, um, hesitant to ask after..." he said gently, trailing off. "I thought it might make it easier if you knew I was in."

I hugged him, not sure what to say. "I'm very glad that you would like to come. Thank you."

"I am you know," he said seriously, his eyes suddenly intense, burning into mine. "_In._" I was vaguely aware of this catching Jasper's attention, which I thought was strange. But before I could think about it more, he was kissing me, and I was quickly caught up in his attention, and we ended the day in much the same way as it began.

When I woke up, he was still holding me, tracing his fingers up and down my arm. I rolled over and smiled at him. He kissed me. "Good morning," he said against my lips. "Did you sleep well?"

"Most definitely," I said. He leaned in to kiss me again and we fooled around for a while before I pulled my face back from his for a moment. "What do you have planned today?"

"Well, I'd like to run home and grab a change of clothes, and then I need to head to campus. I have a meeting with a few of the other professors."

"On a Saturday?" I asked. He nodded, his fingers brushing my hair back behind my ear.

"I can come back when I'm done if you'd like," he said. I smiled, and then heard Alice immediately making plans for my day.

"Yes, please do. Alice is already claiming my whole day. I may need you to rescue me."

He laughed. "You know, that's all going to take some getting used to. The mind reading I can deal with, but the fortune-telling stuff? That's crazy."

I really liked the idea of him getting used to that. Alice huffed, "I am NOT a fortune teller!"

A little while later, after I had taken Christopher home, Alice claimed me to plan the Denali trip - travel logistics, clothes; we discussed it all. Why we needed to sort through my wardrobe two weeks in advance - hell, why she needed to clear what I packed at all - was a mystery to me. She decided my closet was lacking some "essentials," as she called them, so she immediately got on her laptop and ordered them for express delivery. I didn't want to know what she was ordering, but I did see that most of it did not look suited to the Alaskan climate.

"Alice!" I protested. "Why are you ordering me underwear for Christ's sake? I am capable of handling that myself." She shook her head and clicked 'Order.'

"Too late!" she answered me with a giggle. She moved on to another website, and I lay back on her bed with a defeated sigh. There was really no stopping her when she got on a kick about something.

"You know, Jasper really likes him," she said without looking at me, fingers still flying over the keyboard. "Carlisle too."

"Good," I said, turning my head to look at her.

She continued cautiously, "I know you don't buy into the mate-stuff, but something he said to you last night really registered with Jasper."

"I noticed that," I said.

Alice raised her eyebrows at me.

"Okay," I said, "I noticed it for a second." She giggled.

"Anyway, Jazz said he thinks that, maybe-"

"Alice, stop." I cut her off, holding my hand up. "I don't want to talk about this. Not yet anyway. Please."

_Maybe he's your mate, Ellie. _She finished her thought in her head despite my request. "It's okay if you don't feel that way for him," she said gently.

I shook my head. "That's not it. This is different than with Nahuel; that I am sure of. But," I paused, not sure how to continue, "it feels wrong, almost. I'm very happy, but with everything that's happened, it…"

"You are allowed to be happy. Edward made his own bed," she made a face, "and he has to live with that. Hopefully he will get his shit together and fix it."

"Thanks Alice," I said.

Over the next few days, Christopher and I began to settle into new patterns, alternating spending our evenings with my family and alone together at his house. He fit in easily with my family and his energy seemed to uplift them just a bit, providing a slight distraction from the gaping hole Edward's absence left in our family. I was surprised to find how much I enjoyed the relative peace and quiet when we were alone at his house. I had spent very little time away from my family in my life, and was accustomed to always having thoughts from multiple minds encroaching on my own. When we were alone, my mind was free of all other thoughts, except for his.

"What are you thinking about?" Christopher asked, his voice interrupting my reflection on one such evening. We were sitting together watching an old movie in his darkened living room, huddled together on the sofa.

I twisted myself slightly to face him and smiled. "I was thinking about how quiet it is when I'm here," I said, tapping my forehead lightly. He kissed my forehead in the same spot.

"Hm, I guess it would be, wouldn't it?" he replied thoughtfully. "Your family is definitely ... exuberant," he added with a chuckle.

"That's one word for them," I said, laughing. He pulled me back against his chest, chuckling again as I unsuccessfully tried to hold back a yawn.

"I guess we should get you to bed, huh? It _is_ a school night," he quipped.

I didn't say anything; his words reminded me that tomorrow would be the first time I would be in his class since the day I went to his office. Suddenly I felt inexplicably nervous about being near him on campus. I felt him jostle me slightly when I didn't speak after several moments.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly.

I shrugged against him. "Um, I have _your_ class tomorrow," I said hesitantly.

"Yes, I know," he answered. I could hear the smile in his voice. I turned to look at him again and he gently cradled my face in one of his hands, asking again, "What's wrong?"

I shook my head. "Nothing's wrong, exactly. I don't know. Won't it be weird?"

"We will have to be ... subtle, I suppose. It will be fine." He shrugged. "Although," he added with a wicked grin, "you are welcome to visit me in my office anytime." He winked and I couldn't resist laughing.

"I'll remember that, Professor," I said with a smirk. He groaned at this and kissed me roughly, cutting our conversation short.

The next morning, I rolled over to find Christopher standing in front of his dresser, facing away from me, dressed in dark gray pants and a crisp white dress shirt. He turned toward me with a smile, walking to the bed and leaning to kiss me as he fastened his belt.

"Good morning Ms. Cullen," he said as he stood up again.

I giggled. "Good morning Dr. Dawling." I glanced at the clock on the bedside table, swearing under my breath when I saw what time it was. "Christopher, why didn't you wake me up? Won't you be late?" I scrambled to get up from amid the tangled sheets and dug out a change of clothes from my bag.

"Ellie," Christopher said, catching my hand. "Relax, honey. No I won't be late. Listen, I was thinking a bit about what we talked about last night."

I froze. "Yeah?" I said lamely.

He kissed my nose, picking up on my sudden tension. "Don't worry. I was just thinking about logistics."

I exhaled. "Okay."

"I will walk over to campus in a little while, and you can drive over from here whenever you're ready. I know your first class starts later than mine." He kissed me softly on my lips, his fingers tangled in my messy hair.

I nodded, feeling dazed as his breath washed over my face. "That makes sense," I whispered. It would be too conspicuous for us to arrive on campus together. I took a deep breath, trying to focus, but was surprised by the scents that struck me as I inhaled. "Um. Did you make coffee?"

He laughed. "Yes. And I even think I did it right," he said with a wink. "There are muffins downstairs too, on the counter. And no I did not make those."

I grinned incredulously at him. "Thanks," I said, pulling on the rest of my clothes and brushing my hair back into a messy ponytail. He took my hand and we walked downstairs and into the kitchen. Sure enough, a pot of coffee and a plate of muffins were waiting on the counter. "You didn't have to do all of this, you know," I said, sitting down at the counter to eat.

He smiled. "I know. But I know you eat, and I wasn't sure when you were planning to hunt again so I thought you might be hungry."

I leaned over to kiss him in thanks, and as I pulled back I stroked his face, drawing my thumbs under his eyes. They were dark; he wouldn't need his contacts today.

"Speaking of hungry," I said softly. He took my hand and kissed my palm.

"About that," he said. "I am planning to hunt later, which means I will be away tonight. I probably won't be back until late tomorrow night - my TA is covering my class tomorrow."

I nodded. I knew this would happen sooner or later.

As he continued, he looked down with uncharacteristic shyness. "But I want you to know that you are welcome to stay here if you want, anytime." He took my hand and pressed a small metal object against my palm. I looked down and saw a silver key. He touched my face and my eyes lifted to meet his. "I know you said it's quieter here, for you. I want you to be comfortable here. Even if I have to be...away, please know you can always come here if you'd like."

"Um," I mumbled, looking back down at the key. "Wow. Thanks, Christopher." I looked up at him again and he was smiling brightly. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing. I'm just glad that didn't weird you out. I know it's soon, but I feel like I've known you forever." He kissed me, his lips hard against mine. "I have to go, but please stay and finish your breakfast, okay?"

I nodded, slightly breathless from the urgency of his kiss. "I will see you in class, Professor," I said, pressing my lips to his one last time.

The next day, after I returned from campus, I met Alice by the back door. We had arranged to go for a hunt since I was on my own again for the evening.

"So," Alice said as we ran. "How was last night?" I had spent most of the previous evening hanging out with the family, but she and Jasper were out for much of the night.

"It was fine. It was nice to hang out with everyone. We haven't done much of that since the move." I said. "What is up with Rose and Dad? She was a little snippy with him."

"Oh you know," Alice said. "The usual." Rosalie tended to take frustrations out on my father first; since she blamed him for the existence she didn't want. I had missed whatever the catalyst had been to flame the fires this time. "Don't worry about it," she added with a shrug.

We caught the scent of a herd of deer and took off, each draining a few quickly. When we were finished, we ran for a while longer before Alice flitted to a stop, sitting against a huge tree.

"Where was he headed?" she asked vaguely.

"He didn't say," I answered. "Toronto, I think, though." I had heard him debating in his thoughts between New York City and Toronto. New York City is more convenient, for a vampire, as no one blinks an eye to a mysterious death there. But I knew Christopher liked the run to Toronto better; and when we spoke before he left he was leaning toward heading north.

Alice nodded, playing with a dried leaf. "Aren't you curious?" she asked.

"I didn't ask him for details, but that's what he was thinking about," I answered evenly. I hadn't talked much with anyone in my family about Christopher's more traditional diet.

As if reading my train of thought, my sister piped up, "He's going to try it our way in Denali."

I studied her face, and could tell she was sure of her prediction. I kept my face impassive. "Really?" I asked calmly.

She nodded. "He will be good at it, too."

I smiled. "We shall see, I guess."

Alice shot me a look of mock offense. "Do you doubt me?"

I laughed. "No! I just..." I paused, drawing designs in the dirt beside me. "We haven't talked much about that stuff."

She smiled gently. "I know. It's okay, you know. No one is going to make an issue of it. Not now." I knew from her thoughts that she specifically meant my father. "It will be a moot point soon anyway. And from the way that man looks at you, I am fairly certain he would turn himself inside out to keep you happy."

It had been dark for a few hours by the time we started running back to the house. We didn't talk much; I spent most of the run thinking over what she had said about Christopher, and what he had said the previous morning. I was starting to feel increasingly anxious to see him. As we got closer to the house, I could hear raised voices from within.

"What happened?" I said quietly to Alice.

"Rosalie snapped at Carlisle. He tried to calm her down but she wasn't having it."

I cringed as I heard my father yell as I walked in the back door. Jasper stood in the kitchen doorway, smiling apologetically.

"Pretty sure he's just feeding off of me," he said as Alice skipped to his side. "But honestly they need to have this out."

I nodded and sat down at the kitchen table, laying my head down on my arms. I could hear my mother's footsteps approaching and she touched my arm as she sat down beside me.

"They will be fine," she whispered, kissing my hair.

"I know," I said, my words muffled by my arms. "It's just loud." In addition to the volume of their spoken words, the tense thoughts in the house reverberated in my head. I covered my ears, knowing that it would be entirely useless.

"Honey," my mother said, rubbing my back. "Go to Christopher's if you need to. Your father will understand."

I picked my head up to look at her. I had told her about the key when I returned home after class yesterday, but it was unlike her to suggest that the family separate, even temporarily, when things were strained.

"He's not there, Mom," I reminded her.

She smiled. "I know. But didn't he say to feel free to go there whenever you wanted? I'm guessing he meant it, sweetie."

Rosalie had stormed up to her room at that point, but her mind raged on. I groaned and dropped my head back onto my arms. An hour later, I was letting myself into Christopher's house. I knew he had been sincere when he told me I could come here, but I couldn't help the feeling that I was overstepping. I had tried to call him before I left, knowing his phone would probably be off, if he even had it with him. I left him a voicemail just in case, and left a note for him on the counter in the kitchen before I crept up the stairs.

I didn't turn the lights on as I moved through the house, save for the lamp on the table beside the bed. I took off my shoes and stretched out on top of the comforter and pulled out a book, trying to focus on the words before me. After an hour or so I could feel my eyes dropping. Tossing the book aside, I slid down and laid my head against the pillow.

I didn't know how many hours had passed when a deep, soft, chuckle broke through my slumber. I felt an arm slide under me to shift me slightly; I opened my eyes slowly as I was settled back down beneath the comforter. I rolled over automatically to face him as he slid beneath the covers beside me. He pulled me to him, kissing my forehead and tucking my head under his chin.

"I'm sorry I woke you up," he whispered.

"Mm," I murmured into his chest. "I'm sorry for just turning up."

"Don't be. I cannot think of a better surprise to come home to." He slid down so that his face was level with mine and kissed me, his lips moving lightly against mine. "I gave you that key with the hope that you would use it, you know."

I smiled against his lips. "I know. It's just new to me."

He pressed his mouth to mine again, pulling back to murmur, "It's new to me, as well." I wound my arms around his waist, pulling myself closer, and he threw one of his legs over my hips, our lips still softly moving together. His hands ran down my back and toyed with the waistband of my jeans. "Do you regularly sleep in your jeans?" he asked with a laugh.

"All the time," I joked. I was pleasantly surprised that he was only partially clothed, wearing only a T-shirt and boxers. I slid my hands under his shirt and ran them over his chest, curling my fingers slightly into his skin. I kissed him again, tracing his bottom lip with my tongue. "I missed you," I said.

"I'm glad," he replied. "I missed you too." I sighed as one of his hands moved to unbutton my jeans. I shimmied slightly to move them down off my hips and he pulled them off and dropped them behind him on the floor. He slid his hand along my calf, to my thigh, and around to squeeze my ass, pulling me back to him.

I sat up and slid his shirt up, revealing his toned abdomen and chest, and he raised his arms so I could pull it up over his head. I climbed onto his lap so that I was sitting over him, my hands moving across his chest and stomach before taking off my own shirt. He sat up with me so that our chests were touching, kissing me urgently and reaching around my back to unhook my bra. He moved his lips down my neck, sucking gently on the skin along his path, slowly pulling down the straps of my bra as his lips reached my shoulder. I shuddered as he drew his tongue along my collarbone, his hands gently squeezing my breasts, his thumbs pressing into my nipples.

I clutched his back with one hand, my other in his hair as our hips moved together. "Jesus Ellie," Christopher gasped as his hips bucked against me. Suddenly I was on my back and he was pulling my panties off, quickly shedding his boxers as well. He fell back on top of me, pushing in without hesitating and causing both of us to moan loudly.

"Oh god," I whimpered as our hips crashed together.

"Next time," he whispered gruffly in my ear, "skip the clothes, okay?"

"Uhhh," I groaned incoherently. He pushed up onto his knees and spread my knees further apart, moving my legs behind him and grabbing hold of my hips with his hands. "Oh GOD," I cried as his change in position let him reach even further inside me. "I'm going to come," I moaned, my head thrashing against the bed.

"I know," he groaned, his voice shaking. "Oh god, you feel so good, baby." He moved faster, holding my hips still as he slammed into me, his balls slapping against me with each thrust. I cried out, shattered by my orgasm and he quickly followed, holding me still until he stopped pulsing. He rolled off of me with an, "Oomph," and I curled myself up next to him again, laying my head against his chest as his arms wound around me.

As the Denali trip quickly approached, Christopher and I discussed travel logistics with the rest of the family. We were planning to leave at night, and begin the drive into Canada and head Northwest into Alaska. It would take a little over two days driving straight through. Christopher and I would ride together in my car; he would be able to drive for longer stretches since he did not require sleep.

He arrived on our doorstep around 9pm, having packed his belongings for the trip. He had made arrangements for another teacher to cover his lectures; we planned to be there for about 3 weeks, and part of the trip conveniently overlapped with the University's Spring Break.

He let himself in and peeked into my room. "Holy shit," he said, taking in the mess that had overtaken. Alice came in earlier and tore through my closet for the pieces she had decided I needed two weeks prior and threw them across my bed to pack. On top of that, she dumped the packages of new items that she'd hidden away in her room until it was time to pack.

"Ellie!" She shouted to me. "Why aren't you packed yet?"

"Alice! Have you SEEN the mess you've made? I don't even know where to start!" I whined.

I sighed, resigned to the task ahead of me, and went into my closet to grab my bags. "Do you need help?" Christopher asked, hoping I would say no.

"No, no, run while you can," I said waving him off, "before the she-devil puts you to work too." He smiled, kissed me, and went off to find Emmett and Jasper.

Ten minutes later, everything was packed neatly away in my bags. I picked them up to take them down to my car, but Christopher appeared in the doorway and held out his hands. He took my bags in one hand and his in the other and went down to the garage to pack my car.

I grabbed my keys, purse and phone and headed downstairs. Everyone else was gathered, more or less ready to go. Carlisle reviewed the basic route, though sometimes when making cross-country drives we deviate slightly, depending on whether Alice sees anything potentially problematic. We left in 15-minute intervals to avoid a long, obvious, procession of vehicles.

Christopher and I left first; he was driving. We figured we would switch off in the morning. Emmett and Rose followed in Emmett's Jeep and the rest left in Carlisle's Mercedes. The drive was uneventful. I slept for a fair amount of it, and traded off with Christopher as planned while I was awake. He was excited to meet our extended family, and equally excited to see his acquaintance, Garrett, again.

When we arrived at the Denali coven's expansive home, they all filed out to greet us. Tanya, Kate, Irina and Carmen all ran over to hug me and introduce themselves to Christopher. Eleazar and Garrett greeted us as well.

As we all settled in to our guest rooms, I rolled my eyes as I heard the blonde sisters, Kate, Irina and Tanya, whispering about Christopher. They all had a tendency to be aggressive in their pursuit of male company. Tanya was always particularly set on Edward, however he never returned her interest. She was somewhat disappointed that he hadn't returned to accompany us on this trip, though Carlisle made it very clear that he didn't even know we were coming.

It sounded like the rest of the family was going to go hunt. Garrett asked if we wanted to go to - he had already made Christopher promise that he would give animal hunting a go while we were here. We declined, deciding to go out on our own later.

"Can I interest you in a shower?" he asked suggestively.

"Sounds lovely," I responded. He snaked his arms around my waist, lifting me for an intense kiss and carrying me like that to the bathroom. He undressed me slowly, taking care to pay attention to areas that he was disrobing as he went. He turned the water on and waved me in, and he took his clothes off quickly.

He climbed in and wasted little time pulling me to him under the scalding water. I groaned as he slipped his fingers inside me, moving them in and out. He took a breast in his other hand, groping it and then pulling my nipple into his mouth. He sucked hard and I cried out at the sensations. I came hard, writing against his hand with my back pressed back against the wall of the shower.

He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I lowered myself slowly onto him, gasping at the feeling of his cold hardness inside of me. He moaned loudly as I moved against him, and his hands grabbed my ass to pull me against him harder.

"Oh god," I said with a gasp. Another climax was starting to wash over me, and he slowed our pace slightly to draw it out longer. "Oh please, I need to-" I moaned into his shoulder.

The sound of my pleading sent him over the edge and he drove into me, pressing me against the wall so firmly I could hardly move. My climax followed his by scarcely a second, and we moaned and gasped loudly.

After several long moments, he set me down and proceeded to wash and condition my hair, and then washed the rest of my body. I repeated the actions for him and we rinsed off under the stream of hot water. After we dried and dressed, he pulled me to him again.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," I said, smiling at him.

"I wanted to tell you something while we are alone. I meant to tell you before that," he nodded toward the bathroom, "but I got a bit carried away."

"No complaints here," I said.

He chuckled and took a deep breath, seeming almost nervous. Before I could react, confused by his apparent anxiety, he said, "I love you, Eleanor."

If he hadn't been holding on to me I might have been unstable for a moment as the words caught me by surprise. I hadn't thought this beforehand really, but as I responded, I knew I could do so without doubt.

"I love you, too," I said.

We might have gotten carried away again had it not been for the return of my family members. Not wanting to be rude, we reluctantly headed downstairs to spend time with everyone.

As we walked down the stairs, Jasper shot me a curious look. I felt him studying me for a few seconds, all while reciting Immanuel Kant in his head in German. I met his gaze again and he smiled at me broadly. My father did not miss this, of course, and shot me an inquisitive look.

_What was that about?_

I shrugged my shoulders, feigning ignorance. Thankfully he let it go.

We sat with the family and talked for a long time. He and Garrett entertained with stories of their adventures together. Christopher and I decided to go hunting before turning in for the night. Carlisle and Garrett decided to tag along, since this would be Christopher's first crack at the "vegetarian" diet.

I went first, taking out a large black bear that was more than enough for me. Whenever Carlisle and I hunted together, he had a tendency to get a little anxious when I went for large animals. It amused me that this anxiety persisted, even though I was fully grown, and more than strong enough to hunt even a fierce grizzly.

Christopher spotted another bear and, after a second's hesitation, took off after it. He leapt and tackled it with a roar, and drained it quickly. Afterward he stood there for a moment, as if he was assessing how his body was reacting to the animal blood.

"That wasn't nearly as bad as I thought," he finally said with a grin. When he walked back over to us, Carlisle clapped him on the shoulder. Christopher took down a wolf and a moose before decided that he was sated. He was a little worried that he would struggle with the cravings for human blood, but over the next several days he did well, and managed with surprising ease.

A few days later, Carlisle and Esme decided to take a hunting trip together, and were getting ready to leave as I was heading to bed for the night. I said goodbye and wished them a good trip. Christopher was involved in a lofty debate about philosophy with Jasper. I kissed him goodnight and went up to bed.

I had been asleep for quite a while when I started to have what I thought was a very real, and terrifying dream. I woke with a start, and realized that it wasn't a dream after all, but a horrible vision. I heard Alice shout, "Bella don't!" before she emerged from her almost trance-like state.

I jumped out of bed and flew up to Alice's room. "Alice?" I asked, alarmed. "What WAS that?"

"Bella," she gasped, her eyes wide with terror. "She's going to kill herself."

Christopher was behind me in an instant and I fell back against him. "Why would she do that? Can we stop her?"

Alice shook her head, and immediately started whirling around her room, collecting her things like she was about to leave.

"ALICE!" I shouted.

She turned to me with a grief stricken expression. "I don't know, I think I will be too late, but I'm going."

Jasper was there now. "Alice, we can't interfere. You promised him," he protested.

She ignored this. "I love you Jasper, I will call when I know something."

She flew down the stairs and grabbed Carlisle's car key. I had barely been able to focus before she was nearly out the door. "Alice, wait! Let me come with you!"

She was out the door and starting the car before I finished the sentence. Christopher hugged me to him. "Say the word, and we will get in the car," he whispered.

I shook my head. "She would have waited if..." I trailed off.

He led me back to our room and tucked me back into bed. I started to cry, feeling helpless and hoping against everything I had that Alice's vision was wrong. I thought of Edward and felt sick, if leaving her broke him, her death would kill him. Christopher held me close all night, wiping tears away and kissing my forehead gently until I finally fell back to sleep, exhausted.


End file.
